Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Archive for the ‘New York Mets’ Category

Erin Andrews can take balls to her chin & this blog ain’t dead!

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 9, 2009

What you thought you could kill us off that easily? Truth is I’ve been on vacation but I’m back now and look for me to be writing in full rotation starting next week. However let’s get on with this shocking Erin Andrews news. 

This is not a drill; I repeat this is not a drill. When I break this news please do not go running into the streets with blind rage and confusion. Please brace yourselves for the next paragraph. 

According to TMZ, ESPN’s sideline princess, Erin Andrews, was struck in the face by a foul ball by New York Mets player Alex Cora. 

 Andrews — who serves as a sideline reporter for ESPN — was struck in the chin by a foul ball hit by New York Mets player Alex Cora during the 4th inning. 

This DOES NOT give anyone the right to kill any Mets fans upon sight unless they were stupid enough to lose gold teeth in a toilet at Citifield or if you want to pretend it was a Yankees player that was the cause of this, then by all means kill away. 

I know the shock of this is unsettling. My first thought was: It hit EA’s chin and missed Dana Jacobson’s? No justice!!! But I’m able to control myself. 

Erin is OK. I repeat she is OK; she only suffered a bruised chin. 

I’ll keep you posted of any updates as soon as they are made available to me. 

Number of wins the Mets have in the last week: 1 Number of sideline princesses has been hit with a foul ball at one of their games in the last week: 1 …Christ…

Advertisements

Posted in Erin Andrews, ESPN, Evil Empire, Faceplant, failboats, Major League Baseball, New York Mets | Tagged: , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Citifield toilet attempts to eat a Mets fan

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 21, 2009

gold tooth

Ever notice how Mets fans think everyone is against them? In reality they are asking for it especially when one of them goes toilet diving after a gold tooth and gets stuck. At that point they all should be embarrassed.

Stadium security had to call a plumber to free a woman’s arm that had gotten stuck in a toilet at Citifield last week. Somehow someway she dropped her gold tooth in to the vile water and just had to get it back. Her arm was lodged in the low flow toilet as it flushed continuously over her. If she was a heroin junkie then she would have been able climb all the way in the toilet no problem.

“The woman did not recover her tooth, but was plenty relieved just to leave the bathroom. The Mets and Cardoza Plumbing declined to comment.

Some low-flow toilets use powerful vacuum suction to minimize the amount of water needed, but it’s unlikely that contributed to the woman’s hand being stuck, a Queens plumber said. “The truth is, this kind of thing happens all the time — usually with wedding rings or cellphones,” he said.

“People have probably been getting their hands stuck in toilets as long as there have been toilets.”

Is there any doubt she was attempting to retrieve the tooth to immediately try to put it back in place? Man, I hate when that happens. That’s why I always wait for a urinal or a sink to open up.

Posted in dumbass, Gold Tooth, New York Mets | Tagged: , , | 3 Comments »

Don’t write on my Citi wall!

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 21, 2009

I guess people get so caught up with the Yankees having a new stadium that we seem to forget that the Mets have a new stadium as well and it’s called Citi Field. The Mets are such a quaint failboat of a team. Did you know that your best friend’s mom runs Citi Field? It’s true. Ask former Mets star and CY Young winner/coke head Doc Gooden. 

An employee at one of the restaurants in the new Citi Field asked Gooden to sign his name on a blank spot of one the walls last week. Well the Citi Field mom was not pleased and thought about taking TV privileges away from Gooden but instead just informed him that his signature will be erased. Doc wasn’t at all happy. Mike Piazza got in trouble at Shea for doing a similar thing to the inside of a bathroom stall but they didn’t bother mentioning anything about him cutting out a “glory hole”, that was cool with them. 

“One of the guys that worked there asked me to sign one of the walls, so I did it. It wasn’t like I was walking around with a sharpie in my pocket,” Gooden told the Daily News on Monday. “They asked me to sign the wall as a favor, as something for the fans to see. I was in there watching batting practice and they had fans taking pictures with me by my signature and I thought it was a fun idea.” 

Said the Mets: 

“It’s a brand new building, whether it’s Doc or any other player, it wasn’t meant to write all over the walls,” public relations director Jay Horwitz said. “We are going to do things to celebrate our history, but this wasn’t the right way to get that started. If we allow this precedent, people will be writing all over the stadium.” 

And please try to pee in the toilet. This isn’t Shea Stadium you know! 

The place is already vandalized with its name. I hardly think Doc Gooden signing the wall of a restaurant is a big deal in that context. I think someone needs to tell Horwitz that he is in New York city where graffiti will overrun the new Citi Field in about three months regardless of what they do. 

Update!!!! 

It seems that Horwitz and other Mets officials have seen the light and will allow Gooden’s signature to stay where it is after a backlash of fans. Plus an unshaven, malnourished Daryl Strawberry was seen writing on the outside wall of Citi Field. 

Monday night, however, PR honcho Jay Horwitz said the wall will be removed from the club, preserved behind Plexiglass and moved to an undisclosed area at Citi Field that is more accessible to all fans. He added that the Mets plan to procure similar autographs from other popular ex-Mets such as Tom Seaver, Darryl Strawberry, Mike Piazza and Mookie Wilson and display them around the concourse.

“We’ve listened to our fans on this,” Horwitz said. “The last thing we want is for them or Doc to be upset. We just didn’t want everyone to think it was OK to start writing on walls all over the stadium.”

Hooray! Now Doc can go back to fighting the police and doing cocaine.

Posted in Citi Field, Doc Gooden, Major League Baseball, MLB, New York Mets | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The weekending rundown Friday PM Edition

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 10, 2008

Phillies take game 1 in the NLCS

Here are some “snarky” comments about stories I didn’t have the time to follow up on and funny photos I doubt I’ll ever use.

Accusations are flying that the ProElite fight between Kimbo Slice & Seth Petruzelli was fixed because of this comment by Petruzelli.

“The promoters kind of hinted to me and they gave me the money to stand and trade with him,” Petruzelli said on “The Monsters in Orlando” show. “They didn’t want me to take him down, let’s just put it that way. It was worth my while to try to stand up and punch with him.”

But another big story regarding this past Saturday’s “fight” is the claim that Slice’s entourage threatened Petruzelli’s wife.

A Petruzelli interview with Sam Caplan includes the following exchange:

Sam Caplan: Can you talk about the aftermath? That was a pretty crazy scene around the cage with Kimbo’s crew. At any point were you concerned for your safety?

Seth Petruzelli: Oh yeah, 100 percent. Afterwards, and I didn’t know it at the time, buy my wife had got threatened a few times. My corner had got threatened a few times. I had stuff thrown at me from the crowd. As soon as I had got done circling and screaming, the athletic commission told me I had to calm down because the crowd was getting crazy. So I calmed down and said listen, “You’ve got to get me out of here.” And I kind of started to get worried about my well-being at that point (laughs).

Sam Caplan: Did the threats against your wife and your corner come from Kimbo’s fans or his corner?

Seth Petruzelli: It was some of his posse that was around the cage. Not all of them were like that but there were a few that were talking some crap that I wasn’t very happy about.

Sam Caplan: (Laughs) Do you have any idea what they possibly could have been mad at you about aside from doing your job?

Seth Petruzelli: I have no idea. I heard this one kid, he kept saying “You cheated! You cheated! You cheated!” (Laughs) And I’m like, how the hell did I cheat!? I mean, what are you talking about!?

In the photo above is Slice’s son reacting to the fact this dad got beaten by a man with pink hair.

Shocking confessions: Chad Ocho Cinco admits that he kissed coach Marvin Lewis during the Dallas game. No tongue, apparently but Brady Quinn makes mental note for next season. [NBCSports]

Mark Mangino to the Kansas student and fans: “Please quit quoting lines from the Waterboy during the games. I really hate Rob Scneider. I’d offer up an alternative Rob Scneider movie quote here but that would require having viewed a Rob Schneider movie.

In case you missed it. There a website dedicated to the hiring of Will Muschamp as the next head coach for the University of Tennessee.

In case you didn’t know…cause I sure as shit didn’t…but the boss of F1 racing is Bernie Ecclestone. His incredibly hot daughter Tamara posed for PETA’s “I would rather go naked than wear fur” campaign. I can’t remember the last time I saw someone wearing a fur coat, but I’m all for hot girls posing to protest them. Or protest anything, for that matter. More images here.

Mr. Met is sick & damn tired of these meltdowns at the end of the season...takes his frustration out on the Mets faithful.

Mr. Met is sick & damn tired of these meltdowns at the end of the season...takes his frustration out on the Mets faithful.

Just to continue bashing the Cubs here’s the Top 10 Teams to Root For Instead of the Cubs. [Top Ten Chicago]

Just what the world needs in this time of financial crisis…A Brett F*vr* coin. Finally – we’ve found a worse investment than the DOW! Is this the same company that makes the “Adam Jones Garbage Bag o’ Ones” Collection?

Posted in Brett Favre, Checker Flag, Cincinnati Bengals, Formula One, kansas jayhawks, Kimbo Slice, MMA, New York Mets, Philadelphia Phillies, Seth Petruzelli, tamara ecclestone | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »