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Archive for the ‘NFL’ Category

R.I.P. #9

Posted by Joel on July 8, 2009

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(pic of Gridiron9 courtesy of Melanie McGee-Pace)

It has been 3 days and I am still in shock. Though he died in, to say the least, odd circumstances, for a community, city, state, and fans scattered across the world, our QB has left us.

For years, Tennessee did not have a professional sports franchise to call our own. Yes the Vols were kings of Tennessee college football and the Tigers were the kings of Tennessee college basketball, but we watched as Jacksonville got our NFL team. We watched as Vancouver got our basketball team (ironic huh???) For years, we could only imagine the possibilities of seeing our team going to a Super Bowl. We could only dream of going to pro basketball games with our parents, and one day taking our own children to those same games.

Thanks to K.S. “Bud” Adams, our pro sports thirst was finally quenched (with all apologies to the Nashville Predators). The then-Oilers would build a home in Tennessee. For a couple of years, they were a rag tag group of football players, first by playing in Memphis and then in Vanderbilt Stadium in Nashville. But they were led by our QB, Steve McNair.

I remember when the Oilers would hold pep rallies on Beale St. in Memphis. Where as a lot of the players would look like they did not wanna be there, he made sure to lead the cheers. After those pep rallies, he made sure to sign as many autographs and take as many pics as he could. I had many opportunities to meet Steve McNair on many occasions, and on each one, he was always nice and smiling.

Later on, he would lead the team to Super Bowl XXXIV against the St. Louis Rams. We hung on every play. We knew we as Titans fans had a shot of winning the game in the 4th quarter because of our QB. We came up 1 yard short, which still eats away at our sports soul. But the thrill of being oh so close to glory almost makes up for not winning (almost).

We cheered when he won the MVP trophy. We cringed when Ray Lewis tackled him. We got pissed at Bud Adams & Floyd Reese for kicking him out of the door. We were glad to see him in the neighborhood after he retired. Through it all, he was our QB. He gave away free admissions to his football camps for needy kids. He gave shoes to high school football players who couldn’t afford them. He asked people to donate supplies during the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, and Middle Tennessee gave truckloads (he loaded the trucks). He opened a restaurant across the street from Tennessee State University when he could have opened it elsewhere. Most importantly, he did it selflessly and with a smile.

We don’t have the storied history of the Boston Red Sox, L.A. Lakers, New York Yankees, or Pittsburgh Steelers. He was our Ted Williams, our Kareem, our Joe DiMaggio, our Terry Bradshaw. Coach Jeff Fisher said it best:

“The Steve McNair that I knew was a great person. He helped put this organization on the map here in Tennessee, put it in our first Super Bowl. I will miss him, as you all will miss him. And I ask you to honor what he did on the field and in the community and he was a tremendous legacy. And that is his legacy and I am proud to have been a part of that.’’

Posted in NFL, NFL Football, Sports, sports & stuff, Tennessee, Tennessee Titans | 2 Comments »

Oh yeah this was a fine pick for Dallas…

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 30, 2009

Behold David Beuhler, the place kicker from USC and 5th round draft selection of the Dallas Cowboys. Riding a mini horse just tells me he has a sense of humor. It is those velcro sneakers that let me know he’s retarded. Think his cleats will have laces? 

Your move, Gramatica brothers.

Posted in Dallas Cowboys, dumbass, NFL, NFL Draft, NFL Football | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

Hot links are the future for Vince Young

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 31, 2009

Some people didn’t believe me when I reported that Vince Young wanted to share his sausage with the world. Here is photo evidence and it’s important to note that Young has it right: When appearing on a package of hot link one should always wear a suit and tie.

It seems like yesterday we saw Young failing at the forward pass in the NFL and today the weekly special at Kroger. I wonder if the Vince Young Hot Links Family Pack comes with a prescription for Prozac and a complimentary trip to therapy.

Seems strange that Vince Young is selling Hot Links considering his Wonderlic score resulted in a court order forbidding him from being near an open flame.

Posted in Hot Links, NFL, NFL Football, Tennessee Titans, Vince Young | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

Calling all depressed Cowboy fans

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 13, 2009

Are you down in the dumps because the T.O. experiment was a colossal failure? Maybe you’re depressed because the Steelers are the one true king of the NFL.

Well…I have just the solution for you.

GET DRUNK! Off the Jerome Bettis edition of Jose Cuervo! That way you will feel like how Pacman Jones feels while in strip-clubs:

jose

Alone, angry, depressed and drunk all at once.

Posted in Adam Jones, Dallas Cowboys, NFL, Pacman Jones, Pittsburgh Steelers | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

Pacman Jones: “I liked’d the Scrip clubs”

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 12, 2009

Vodpod videos no longer available.

During the CBS pregame last Saturday the most enlightening interview with Pacman Jones was aired in which Jones admitted the obvious. Of course all of this was ruined with in the appearance of his attorney.

After seeing this interview I’m convinced that we should enter Pacman in the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee.


Posted in Adam Jones, NFL, Pacman Jones | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Ultimate Christmas Miracle

Posted by Joel on December 29, 2008

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‘Twas the Sunday after Christmas, when all in Green Bay

Not a Lion was winning, oh what can I say;

The game plans were hung by the lockers with care,

In hopes that victory soon would be there;

The players were huddled all chill in their beds,

While visions of winning danced in their heads;

And Coach in his jacket, and I in helmet,

Had just got hyped so the losses I would forget,

When out on the field there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the room to see what was the matter.

Away to the tundra I flew like a flash,

Went to the field and listened to “The Clash.”

The sun on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the lustre of mid-day to Packers below,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But Grant, and Rodgers, and Driver are near.

With a little shimmy, so lively and quick,

I knew, in that moment I said oh shit!

More rapid than our DB’s they came,

And they whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

“Now, Clifton, now, Jordy! now, Jennings we’ll mix it!

These Lions don’t recognize coverage & zone blitzes!

To the middle of the field, Lambeau Leap over the wall!

Al Harris, Charles Woodson, TD’s for all!

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with more obstacles, mount to the sky,

So up to the concourses of the field they flew

With 0-16 shirts worn on kids as young as 2.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard in the huddle

The crying of grown men, tears in puddles.

As I drew plays in my hand, and was turning around,

Down the pike the referee came to town.

He was dressed all in stripes, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all clean & snug with Reebok boots.

A Hall of Fame football he had in his hands behind his back,

And he was ready, for Canton this ball he would pack.

His eyes — how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His whistle was chrome! His yellow flag was scary!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And he wanted to be part of history, so it was time to go;

The look in his eye was not a welcome treat,

And looked at us & he could smell the defeat;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook, when he ran downfield like jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old ref,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a flick of his wrist,

Soon gave me 15 yards for another illegal shift;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And launched the flag; then turned (the big jerk),

And laying his finger besides the helmet that was bent,

And giving a nod, back to the sidelines he went;

He sprang to the sidelines and blew his whitsle,

At the end of the game, he left like a missile.

But I heard the fans exclaim, as they drove off in their trucks,

“You guys are 0-16, the Detroit Lions suck!!!”

Posted in Detroit Free Press, Detroit Lions, fired, football, Green Bay Packers, NFL, NFL Draft, NFL Football, Sports | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Disney World is not so magical for two Pop Warner teams

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 16, 2008

Next thing you know these kids will all be wearing sweatpants to nightclubs and getting their Johnsons on National TV!

This is a story that could make Pacman Jones reminisce about the good ole days of his youth. Apparently the state of Florida holds the super bowl of Pop Warner teams and as many of you know whenever a super bowl is in town so is trouble.

The Eagles of Dorchester (Massachusetts) & the Eagles of Edgewood (Rhoda Island) decided to have an all male version of Westside Story in the hotel cafeteria which led to both teams actually being booted from their hotel.

For punishment they should have forced them to spend 4 hours at It’s A Small World.

“The Dorchester Eagles, ages 11 to 15, and the Edgewood Eagles of Rhode Island were booted from their Disney World hotel on Thursday after multiple members of the two teams got into a physical fight in the hotel cafeteria, said Pop Warner spokesman Jason Howarth.

As a result, the Dorchester Eagles’ future with Pop Warner may be in jeopardy, he said.

[Edgewood Eagles President George] Lindell said the Thursday incident was a continuation of an incident Wednesday at Hollywood Studios, formerly MGM studios, which Disney opened up to all Pop Warner teams and guests for free food, ice cream and rides”

Pop Warner teams have team presidents now? Maybe Phil Savage does have a future.

To make matters worse the Dorchester team received about $4000.00 from the NFL to help cover costs of the trip. I’m sure Goodell is thrilled to hear about that. Each and every player on that team now has an immediate 4 game suspension waiting for them if they ever get to the NFL.

Whatever happened to that whole modicum of respect and dignity… You know the stuff the modern NFL has with such athletes like Plaxico Burress, Adam Jones and Matt Jones…

Wait… These kids are screwed.

With this behavior it’s a wonder Jerry Jones has asked for the roster to help identify the troublemakers and offer them a future contract.

Posted in Disney World, NFL, Pop Warner, Roger Goodell | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

Glocks & Athletes Are Not A Good Combination

Posted by Joel on December 1, 2008

I was well prepared to talk about Tennessee hiring Lane Kiffin and what I thought of it. I along with millions of other Volunteer fans have my opinion, but I want to spend this time to talk about a troubling trend the past, oh, 14 years or so. I am about to do my best Jason Whitlock impersonation, except I am not as big, well-known, or paid.

I have known and/or met quite a few pro athletes in my day. By and large, the ones that I have met are down to earth guys, trying to improve themselves in the sport that they play. They are trying to improve themselves so they can improve their bank accounts. For the athletes that have come from little to nothing growing up, they try to help out family and friends along their journey to fame and fortune. This cycle can lead to problems.

To the athletes reading this blog, please do the following couple of things for me:

*Leave the guns at home…

I am watching the Redskins vs. Giants game. Ironic because on this day, where the Redskins are honoring fallen teammate Sean Taylor, who was murdered in his home a year ago, Plaxico Burress is facing weapons charges because he decided to go “Cheddar Bob” on his thigh while carrying a handgun illegally (or he wanted to be on the next diss record of Eminem, 50 Cent, and Busta Rhymes). If the club was such a bad place to be, then why go??? He’s married (to a lawyer) and has a young son. Why put yourself through now facing jail time over seeing some ass shaking at the club, and get teammate Antonio Pierce involved??? Stephen Jackson, Jamaal Tinsley, and Marvin Harrison would agree. If you are about to go somewhere and you think that you need a gun, then don’t go. If I need a gun to go to my local Quickie Mart for a chocolate squishy, then I won’t be seeing Apu that night. Which leads me to the next point…

*Do not own more than 3 guns…

A wise man once told me that if you are gonna own a gun for home protection, get 3. One should be a handgun that you can grab quickly (Glock), one should be a rifle or shotgun, and one should be a small pistol that your woman could shoot in a pinch (.22 or .38). Whether this is wise or not, I think this is sound advice. In other words, do not be Tank Johnson. And if you wanna be a rapper, PLEASE do not be T.I.

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*Last, everyone is not out to get you…

Unless you allow yourself to be associated with bad people, not everyone is out to get you. Yes, crime is everywhere, and what happened to Sean Taylor was a tragedy not of his doing, but of 4 kids who wanted to take a short cut at getting ahead. At the same time, you athletes for the most part have more money than I will ever see. Use some of that to invest in a security company and let bodyguards carry the weapons. Because if you pull a Plax and not have that concealed handgun license, you could shoot yourself at 3 a.m., or face jail time. And please don’t rob any convenience stores…

Posted in A&E's Intervention, Adam Jones, armed robbery, Assault & Battery, Bail Bondsman, basketball, Brawls, Chicago Bears, classless, court tv, Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, Dallas Cowboys, dumbass, ESPN, FBI, Feds, Fines, football, Goodell, guilty, Jemele Hill, New York Giants, NFL, NFL Football, NRA, Police, Sports, Washington Redskins | Tagged: , , | 1 Comment »

The Saints & Poo: Will the Mystery Man be Found?

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 25, 2008

The New Orleans Saints might be a middle of the pack football team, but they’re savvy car shoppers.

“Saints owner Tom Benson owns various car dealerships. We’re told that, each year, he brings a mini-fleet of new cars to the team facility in the hopes of getting some of his employees to make a purchase.

As we hear it, the players don’t really appreciate the sales pitch, due in part to the perception that they aren’t offered much of a deal.

This year, some of them made it known.

On Saturday, when players arrived at the facility to continue preparations for Monday night’s home game against the Packers, more than one of the cars was coated in a certain byproduct of the human digestive system.”

I wonder what the owner would say if he found out who the culprit was…”What is it going to take for me to poop you on this car today?”

Then again one could blame this on the government; after all if FEMA had provided them with Port-a-Potties, this would never have happened.

That’s a nice car…for me to poop on!

Posted in New Orleans Saints, NFL, NFL Football, Poo | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

Cue up the Wham! Intro Music, Brady Quinn has been named the Starting QB for the Browns

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 5, 2008

All metrosexual Notre Dame and Cleveland Browns fans can now publicly cheer and jitterbug to Wham’s Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go because tomorrow night Brady Quinn makes his first official start as a NFL quarterback.

Brady Quinn the most popular second string QB to never start a game or contract a Cleveland staph-infection not only does a great Michael Jackson pose but was also a damn fine college QB and because of that he deserves no DEMANDS to start, at least that’s what analyst Tony Grossi thinks:

Quinn doesn’t have the RPMs on his throws that Anderson does. But what the Browns lose in torque, they gain in accuracy and, based on Quinn’s major college career, field leadership and perhaps huddle presence.

The Browns have to find out who is the quarterback to lead the team to the Super Bowl. Quinn deserves to start the final eight games, time enough to develop a rhythm with the front-line players previously denied him.

The Browns better hope that Quinn is the player for whom Phil Savage traded two high picks in 2007 to acquire. Nobody can say the Browns forced him in ahead of his time. If anything, they waited too long.

I think the No Homo thing in the NFL is now officially over. If this gig doesn’t work work, I can see Quinn doing The Village People 2.0 or being in a remake of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

This bold and exciting move can only mean that this year’s football season in Cleveland is officially over. A 4-4 team with no defense vs. a 3-5 team? Great scheduling!

Does this mean Browns fans can quit their griping from earlier about being the most tortured fan base or does this move just prove their point?

I just think Browns fans are kidding themselves if they think Quinn is going to be doing any better than the current QB. During his final year at Notre Dame he played three teams with a winning record and crapped his pants against all of them. I fear that he’s going to have the mental makeup of Rex Grossman, with half the arm strength.

Brady is not the monsoon to Cleveland’s championship drought but hey he apparently doesn’t like gays either even though you can’t tell by the photo below.

Posted in Brady Quinn, cleveland browns, metrosexual, NFL, NFL Football, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, notre dame sucks | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »