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Archive for the ‘retarded’ Category

Logan Young: Sacrificial Lamb

Posted by Little Bear Cub on March 31, 2008

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Look at Mr. Young. He looks so peaceful, stoic, determined, and defiant. Damned all of the legal troubles, he is a true sacrifice for the institution that we call Alabama football. I love this pic of Mr. Young. Hanging on the wall behind him is God in houndstooth, Coach Bryant. I dare not call Mr. Young by his first name, because he is too important in the annals of Alabama football.

Some of us members of the now “Saban Nation” have distanced ourselves from Mr. Young. Not me. I fully embrace Mr. Young for his efforts to make sure that ‘Bama Ball keeps its rightful place among the top of college football. USC, Notre Dame, Ohio State, and Michigan football be damned. Alabama IS college football and the sacrifice that Mr. Young has made should be a shining example of giving up yourself for the greater good of Alabama football. RTR…

I am getting almost misty eyed writing this, but if I can get at least one of my fellow ‘Bama brethern to see the light, then I will gladly dehydrate by ocular extraction for the greater good. After all, Mr. Young gave the ultimate gift in the name of Alabama football, so a few lost tears won’t hurt.

Last December, before I made my winter hunting trip to Shreveport, I was in the Bass Pro Shop in Prattville looking for a brand new Benelli Super Nova w/ Steady Grip. This gun is perfect for hunting the native nutria in Shreveport. As I was holding the piece, a vision came upon me. As I made my purchase, I decided to name this particular gun Mr. Young. This gun would be used to pierce the hearts and heads of any prey that may come before me, just as Mr. Young used his incredible finances to ensure recruits land at Alabama. Anyway, after we set up our nutria blind in Shreveport, I got my gear on and loaded Mr. Young. As I laid down cabbage leaves in the nutria kill zone, I raced back to the blind until the first critter came out. I grabbed Mr. Young, saw the creature through my Bushnell scope, and squeezed the trigger. I caught that nutria right between the eyes. Mr. Young was accurate and deadly, just like the original. We ate plenty of nutria that night in December, along with some Golden Flake chips and a Coke, just like Bear did. The next night, we watched the Tide roll over those pagans from Colorado.

Mr. Young, you are gone, but this Little Bear Cub will never forget you or the sacrifice that you made for the University of Alabama. ROLL TIDE ROLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Posted in Alabama, Alabama Crimson Tide, alcoholics, All SEC Teams Beware!!, armed robbery, Asphyxiation, ass chewing, Ass Whipping, Bama Bangs, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, BCS, Bear is Dead, boosters, cheaters, College Football, Crimson Tide, Dead Drunk, DUI, ESPN, fire philip fulmer, Florida Sucks, football, Football Poll, Fulmer, fulmer sucks, killer, legal troubles, Logan Young, Mascots, mentally challenged, mobsters, moral victories, moron, NCAA, Nick Saban, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Phillip Fulmer, pimps, Po Po, poker, Police, repo, retarded, Rips Media, Roll Tide, Saban, satire, Scams, scandal, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, SEC Speed | Tagged: , | 4 Comments »

Jigaboos vs. Wannabees

Posted by Joel Jackson on March 20, 2008

Jigaboos are smart, athletic, natural, and talented. Jigaboos are every woman. Wannabees are special. They take pride in their appearance. They are not afraid of perfection, even if it means more time spent on themselves and the others around them.

Jigaboos are led by a person who tries to look out for their own interests, yet is not afraid to capitalize on her own individual success. Wannabees have a fearless leader who would rather stay the course as opposed to jumping from one place to another.

Whenever Jigaboos and Wannabees play each other, the Wannabees win. Wannabees win championships, sometimes defeating Jigaboos if necessary. The Jigaboos are jealous of the Wannabees recent victory. Wannabees are not complaining at all. Jigaboos have enlisted the help of someone of ancient descent to complain to the higher powers that the last matchup was not fair. Wannabees shrug it off.

Jigaboos are just jealous that they are not proud winners like the Wannabees. Jigaboos, deep down inside, want to be pretty like Wannabees. Jigaboos should just shut up and play.

As you can tell, I am a Wannabee fan. Rocky Top Wannabee…

Posted in basketball, Big East, karma, mentally challenged, moral victories, NCAA, nickelback sucks, retarded, Rips Media, Rocky Top, Rutgers, Tennessee, Tennessee Volunteers, The Big East, ugly wives, UT vols | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

What Do You Do, Coach Stew???

Posted by Joel Jackson on March 14, 2008

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Well what a banner day for West Virginia University. Freshman sensation Noel Devine, along with his 3 henchmen, were (finally) arrested for the Feb. 13 incident outside of Club Z. Apparently Devine took time out of his busy schedule of doing the Superman while at the club and started a little static. The 4 future brain surgeons have been charged with battery, and have pleaded no contest.

Now, this puts our new favorite undefeated coach Bill Stewart in an interesting conundrum. Earlier, he suspended 3 players for drug possession. A certain someone thought that Stewart would be up the creek when/if his star player was arrested. Well guess what has happened…

What does Stewart do??? Does he a) kick his star RB off the team and continue the precedent that he has set, b) tell the Mountaineer clan to wait until the legal process has been done (keeping in mind that he didn’t do that during the first incident, but could be spun as “I overreacted”) or, c) only suspend Devine and the Crew for spring practice, and still keep them fresh for the upcoming year???

Well if Stewart were an SEC coach, he would put Devine on “Double Super Secret Probation”, or take an approach similar to Thomas’ favorite coach, Steve Superior. There is also the ‘Bama approach where the charges “mysteriously” are dropped. How about police ride alongs, Fulmer style??? Whichever he decides will determine the course of the Mountaineer football season. None of this will matter much anyway, considering Jim Leavitt and the USF Bulls treat ‘Eers like their own personal chew toy. (Thanks Thomas. The one day this week I write and you beat me to the punch).

Oh, nothing major on the WVU v. Rodriguez case, but I did happen to stumble across this tasty morsel of news: The school is now getting sued, no less than by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, the most trusted source of Mountaineer news. The school has not been entirely cooperative when it comes to the Freedom of Information Act (see Nutt, Houston). This goes back to the newspaper’s investigation into whether Gov. Manchin’s daughter actually earned her MBA, as the school’s records were “imcomplete”. Seems as though certain records, such as phone logs, e-mails, and other information has either been withheld or redacted from the newspaper. Now I am no lawyer (maybe LawVol can offer up some more details without going too much in boring detail speak), but I know enough about the FOIA that public records must be turned over in a timely manner, except those not required by law. Also keep in mind that school Mike Garrison is himself a lawyer by trade, and should be well-versed on such legalities. Maybe their legal department has been so busy trying to collect a check from Rodriguez that they didn’t think that they themselves could get sued. Isn’t it a great day to be a Mountaineer??? What is that I see??? I think those are the outstretched arms of the God of Mediocrityland, welcoming WVU back and sitting them next to Syracuse. How special…

Posted in Coker, College Football, Conspiracy Theory, Crime & Punishment, retarded, road rage, satire, Scams, scandal, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, South Florida Bulls, Sports, Steve Spurrier, stupid, suicide, Superman, Syacuse, team spirit, trailer trash, ugly wives, University of South Florida, USA Today, USC, USF, West Virginia, West Virginia Mountaineers, whiners, WVU | Tagged: , , , , | 3 Comments »

Cardinals v. Wildcats Will Play When Exactly???

Posted by Joel Jackson on March 11, 2008

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Apparently, in the “Bluegrass State”, there is a pissing match brewing (as usual) between the Louisville Cardinals v. Kentucky Wildcats. The argument this time??? What day of Labor Day weekend the annual football game will be played on. Louisville wants to play the game on Monday night, Sept. 1. Kentucky wants to play the game sometime between Thursday, Aug. 28 to Aug. 31. ESPN would like to televise the game on Monday to take advantage of the usualMonday night Football slot (the NFL season won’t start until the following week). Kentucky’s reason for wanting the game at an earlier date: They want recovery time so that they can prepare for…NORFOLK STATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here’s a quote from Kentucky AD Mitch Barnhart:

“We’re willing to play that game Thursday through Sunday, and we’ve communicated that to the people at ESPN,” Kentucky AD Mitch Barnhart told the Courier-Journal. “We’re not going to play that on a Monday night and give ourselves that short turnaround on a Saturday game. We’re going to have a young team, and we feel it’s in the best interest of our program to guard that prep time and that recovery time.”

Now keep in mind he is complaining about resting for Norfolk State. Not Ohio State, Florida State, Arizona State, Oregon State, or Michigan State. He is talking about Norfolk State, an HBCU, D-1AA program. Yes I know Appalachian State beat Michigan last year, but Appy State has been a dominant team in D-1AA (yes I still refuse to call it Football Championship Series). This is Norfolk State we are talking about. If Kentucky can’t man up on 5 days rest to beat Norfolk State, then they will be screwed for the upcoming SEC slate. Of course, they just might be screwed anyway, considering Andre Woodson and Wesley Woodward aren’t there anymore.

At the end of the day, this is gonna be a battle of mediocre teams, and whatever ESPN wants, ESPN gets. If they wanted this game played a day before Kentucky plays the “mighty” Norfolk State Spartans, it will happen. Money talks, and ESPN has billions of Disney Dollars. So Kentucky, give it up. Play the game on Monday night, have a light practice week, and roll up Norfolk State on that Saturday. One or two extra days to rest up against a D-1AA opponent is not gonna make a difference when you are gonna have the second string in by half time anyway. Oh, and can someone from Kentucky please explain this???

Posted in A. Woodson, All SEC Teams Beware!!, Appalachian State, Arizona State Sundevils, ass chewing, Ass Whipping, BCS, Big East, Bobby Petrino, boo birds, boosters, cat killer, classless, College Football, College Gameday, crazy, draft pick, dumbass, ESPN, Kentucky Wildcats, Louisville, Louisville Cardinals, moral victories, moron, NCAA, Norfolk State, Ohio State, Oregon State Beavers, retarded, riots, Rips Media, satire, scandal, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, SEC Speed | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

WVU Update 1/25/08

Posted by Joel Jackson on January 24, 2008

So in keeping with my new found obsession into mismanagement of a Division 1-A (I refuse to call it the Bowl Subdivision), the latest salvo is a tried and true method made famous by Arkansas fans: The Freedom of Information Act. According to documents obtained by the AP, a series of e-mails between Mike Brown, Rich Rodriguez’s agent, WVU President Mike Garrison and his chief of staff Craig Walker show that Rodriguez long sought more operational and marketing control with the football program. He also wanted things like free game passes for high school coaches, an all-access pass for his cougar wife Rita, and seats for football recruits at WVU basketball games. Now there are two things that stick out at first glance. One, these requests are not that unreasonable, hell, they should be expected. But this is WVU so keep that in mind. The school’s football program has never been a national power (as evidence by the spot in the trophy case that has dust 9 inches thick in the spot where the national championship trophies go). The other thing that sticks out is that embattled athletic director Ed Pastilong was not involved in any of these emails, meaning that Rodriguez was so frustrated with the man that he went to his boss. Not good…

Also, there were several charges of interference by Gov. Joe Manchin into the Mountaineer program. Let’s see: the governor has time to poke his nose into the school’s football program, all the while the state has the second worst economy in the country and the third most fragile. Instead of trying to create jobs, bring in new industry, and try to raise the state’s GDP, he has time in his busy schedule to devote to the Mountaineer football team. Of course, the governor denies all of this, but let us not forget that he was all over the hiring process, even interviewing coaching candidates, so he hasn’t exactly had a clean track record when it comes to all things Mountaineer…

The final straw for the hated coach came in a last ditch meeting on Dec. 15 between Team Rodriguez and Garrison. Those same demands that Rodriguez asked for (marketing control, etc) was brought up. Garrison told Rodriguez basically “go to hell”. Instead, a couple of days later, Rodriguez went to Michigan.

On the surface, it looks like Rodriguez left over a few items that the school was too cheap to give him. But it goes deeper than that. Rodriguez was working in an environment where he wanted changes to reflect the “just about” big time status that West Virginia was obtaining, but the school was still stuck in the mentality that a horseless carriage would take West Virginia football players to the sockhop two counties over. He was sick of West Virginia being…well West Virginia. He couldn’t take anymore, and when his agent put in a feeler to the Wolverines, both sides couldn’t get to the bargaining table fast enough. Looking back, I can remember that everyone else in the country knew that Rodriguez was meeting with Michigan and Ed Pastilong thought that he was on a recruiting trip. Why this guy is still employed is still beyond me. His mismanagement of the athletic department and his smart ass attitude (he told Rodriguez after the loss to Pitt that losing would cause embarrassment for him at the Big East conference meetings, even though the school won the conference and was going to another BCS bowl game) has cost the school more than a couple of good coaches. The band of merry men that run the school, and by extension the state, have the management style of seasoned Iraqi generals under Saddam. I will nickname Ed Pastilong “Chemical Ali”.

Still, Rodriguez should cut the check and go. The school needs the money. And I just got word that they need to upgrade the above ground swimming pool that both their athletes and their administrators use for recreation. This is their current one…

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Posted in BCS, Big East, boo birds, boosters, Coach Rich Rodriguez, crazy, dumbass, football, legal troubles, Major Harris, mentally challenged, Michigan, Michigan Wolverines, moron, Pitt Panthers, retarded, satire, scandal, stupid, The Big East, upsets, West Virginia, West Virginia Mountaineers, whiners, WVU | Tagged: | 4 Comments »

Alcohol + Rednecks + Camera = Stupidity

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 21, 2008

Before I begin, let me say that I realize hardly anyone in the LSU family shares these same thoughts that are given in the video below. That being said if anyone, LSU fan or not, knows the men in the video below please do Joel and myself a favor, knock the shit out of them and show this video to their bosses.

WARNING RACIEST REDNECK COMMENTS IN THE VIDEO BELOW.

Posted in LSU Tigers, retarded, SEC Football, stupid | Tagged: , , , | 3 Comments »

The Revelations After a Saturdays Worth of Football Week 14

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 2, 2007

What a season it’s been. My greatest wish would be for not to end. This is the final edition of my revelations for the year 2007.

Hawaii remains unbeaten. Who cares.

The ACC championship game couldn’t even sell out. Sorry.

Missouri you and West Virginia should play each other in the “Biggest Overrated Jokes of College Football” bowl.

Rich Rodriguez you were crying at the press conference after the game. THERE’S NO CRYING IN FOOTBALL!! Unless it involves a death. You’re the shining example of what most everyone thinks of your conference: Weak & Pathetic.

Also while I’m still on West Virginia I noticed every time Pitt had the ball and was in the huddle the PA guy played Metallica, Guns & Roses & Manson. Jesus that’s sad, update your CD collection.


Goth chicks go to WVU games to hear Marilyn Manson

LSU didn’t really beat Tennessee, Erik Ainge did.

I’m beginning the hate that Dr. Pepper commercial of the fat football player.

USC still owns the PAC 10

The Big Least officiating makes the SEC officiating look good. Or West Virginia didn’t pay the refs enough.

Les Miles is a sound byte machine.

Kentucky basketball really, really sucks

How the crutches Wannstedt was on survived the night is beyond me.

Anyone else notice that the mics were a little to close on the Pitt bench? I clearly heard what Wannstedt said to the ref after the 2 fathom holding penalties.

Best image of the night is….

Like Joel said “Thank God of Pitt”

So I profess on this day 12/02/07

TtT

 

Posted in ACC Football, Big Twelve Football, Coach Rich Rodriguez, Dave Wannstedt, Erik Ainge, ESPN, Hawaii Warriors, Kentucky Wildcats, LSU Tigers, Pac 10, Pitt Panthers, refs, retarded, Rocky Top, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, The Big East, University of Southern Cal, upsets, Virginia Tech, West Virginia Mountaineers, whiners, white trash, WVU | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

The Revelations After a Saturdays Worth of Football Week 12

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 18, 2007

Yesterday wasn’t as exciting as the previous past Saturdays have been, but still for the 11th time this season, a team in the top 5 lost to a non-ranked team.

Good job Texas Tech but I have a few points to make.

Mike Leach talks about how officials are against him but those officials robbed OU of a touchdown.

It’s commendable that you didn’t want to run up the score on your friend Bob Stoops, it almost cost you the game

The Texas Tech cheerleaders are hot.

The Oklahoma QB, Sam Bradford, looks like a retarded caveman. Moving on….

Coach 0 almost looked like a coach yesterday and you could understand what he was saying, OK Ole Miss where’s the real Coach 0 at?

West Virginia almost lost, damn it Cincinnati learn to finish the job.

If Georgia committed those four turn overs at Kentucky they might not have won.

BC didn’t beat Clemson, those receivers that can’t seem to catch a ball that is placed perfectly beat Clemson.

Who would have thought that one of the biggest games of the year would Missouri & Kansas.

Well Notre Dame can finally look away, your horrible season is over.

Fulmer is like a resilient cockroach, no matter how hard he tries to get fired he finds a way to win.

How Penn State could let Michigan State comeback like that is beyond me.

What ever to that team that hammered Tennessee without mercy? No not Alabama, the other one, no not Florida, that other one, yes Cal…maybe Aberclay will answer that one for me. 😉

With Houston Nutt rumors swirling around his retirement, I see….I see a a…Baylor job in his near future.

I’m sick and tired of seeing about every damn Chick-Fil-A commercial they run this year.

There’s a lot of big games coming up this week. I’ll try to preview some of them.

Finally Lloyd Carr…I said at the beginning of the season he was retiring, it appears I’m right. Ohio State will really miss him.

So I profess on this day 11/18/07

TtT

Posted in ACC Football, Arkansas Razorbacks, bad calls, Baylor Bears, big ten football, Big Twelve Football, Bob Stoops, boston college, Cal, Clemson Tigers, coach o, Duke Blue Devils, Ed Orgeron, fire philip fulmer, Georgia Bulldogs, Go Vols, Houston Nutt, Jim Tressel, Joe Pa, Joe Paterno, kansas jayhawks, Kentucky Wildcats, LSU Tigers, Michigan State Spartons, Michigan Wolverines, Missouri Tigers, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, notre dame sucks, ohio state buckeyes, Oklahoma sooners, Penn State Nittany Lions, retarded, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, Texas Tech Red Raiders, Uga, University of California berkeley, UT vols, Vanderbilt, West Virginia Mountaineers, whiners | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Coach 0 Isn’t Going Anywhere Soon

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 6, 2007

Even though various anti Ed Orgeron websites such as Fire Coach0 have popped up, Coach 0 and Incredible Hulk fans can relax because the retarded strong coach and his sidekick Jerrell “I Can Spell Kat” Powe are going to be at Ole Miss for quite some time. In an recent interview with the chancellor of Ole Miss, Robert Khayat, he states that he seriously ♥’s Coach 0, and it kinda looks rather unhealthy at that.

“I’m very high on Ed Orgeron,” Khayat said in a recent interview with The Associated Press. “(I’m) very loyaland supportive to him and committed to him.”

“I really believe we cn only succeed if we unite and play together,” Khayat said. “So the people who make negative comments about Coach Orgeron and our football team really serve no purpose. Constructive criticism is fine. But negative comments of fire the coach is not the way to do this.”

“First of all I thought he was a real football man — good looking, I thought, strong, aggressive, competitive, excited,” Khayat said. “And he had the record of being the best recruiter in the country.”

Well, “those people” as you put it do serve a purpose, it’s called revenue for the school. I’ll admit since Coach 0 has only been there since 2005 it is a little early to be calling for his head, but as the chancellor one would think that Khayat could have worded his comments a little different. It’s rather insulting to dissatisfied Ole Miss tickets holder and supporters who have been critical of Coach 0. As for as the unhappy fans I’ll just quote Joel and say “Does anyone realize this is OLE MISS FOOTBALL that we are talking about???” end quote.


Yes that’s Coach 0 under there

What I do find a little strange is that the chancellor is committed to Coach 0 and found him good looking. As a dude the last thing I would say in public much less in an interview is I found the Raging Cajun tit twisting retarded strong coach as good looking. That’s way to much man love there.

Now Coach 0, in talking about when he first arrived to the campus, states:

“yaw yaw yaw craw fish yaw yaw yaw Brent Schaffer” which translates to:

“I get here and it’s just negative, negative, negative, negative,”

He goes on further to say:

“yaw yaw yaw Jerrell Powe yaw yaw Egg Bowl yaw yaw yaw liberal media yaw yaw footbaw yaw yaw” which translates to:

“We got ridiculed for it here,” Orgeron said. “I didn’t understand. I really didn’t. That really freaked me out. I mean, what’s wrong? And it really irked me that a lot of the things I said (that appeared in the media) came from someone in that room.

“Khayat said he’ll stand by Orgeron, even if it takes six years to turn the program around.”

Sweet that gives me a lot of time to poke at Coach 0. 😉

So I profess on this day 11/06/07.

TtT

Posted in boo birds, coach o, Ed Orgeron, mentally challenged, ole miss rebels, retarded, SEC Coaches | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Just Fire The Guy Already!!!!!!!!

Posted by Joel Jackson on November 5, 2007

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So apparently Texas A&M is reportedly negotiating a buyout with head football coach Dennis Franchione. Yes, that Coach Fran, who left Alabama after 1 year for A&M, has done absolutely squat since arriving, and who was apparently selling inside information to 12 boosters for $1,200 a pop, even though his annual salary was $2.6 million. In the interest of full disclosure, the NCAA is looking into the situation as potential rules violations may have occurred.

Word around the Aggie Bonfire is that the language in Coach Fran’s contract may allow the school to outright let the “embattled” coach go without having to pay a penalty due to his website and possible violations of HIPPA. Let’s not forget that he has been a crappy coach.

So why in the hell would A&M not just fire him??? Why wait??? The Aggies still have to go to a VERY loaded Missouri team and then the annual Texas butt-kicking (I know, A&M won last year, and a broken clock is right twice a day). Let him go. He screwed himself out of a buyout with his website.

I know Texas A&M has some powerful boosters with deep pockets, but money talks. Also, if the rumor about going after Tommy Tuberville, you are gonna have to pay Auburn for the buyout in his contract ($6 million) plus whatever his annual salary will be. Plus, why string Coach Fran along??? Let him go so that he can find the next tiny D-1A school to coach, since hardly anyone would hire him as an offensive coach (quick: name 5 teams that still run the option. I will spot you Navy).

On a related note, for any other schools that may be looking at a coaching change (Nebraska, UCLA, Arkansas), go ahead and fire these coaches. Why string it along??? Plus, by letting these guys go early, it will give your school ample time to find the replacement. Do it, and LET THE COACH STEALING BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted in ACC Football, aggies, Alabama, Alabama Crimson Tide, Arkansas, Arkansas Razorbacks, Auburn, Bama Sucks, BCS, big 10, Big 12, Big East, big ten, big ten football, Big Twelve Football, Bill Callahan, cheaters, Coach Fran, College Football, Crime & Punishment, Crimson Tide, Dennis Franchione, HIPPA, Houston Nutt, Missouri Tigers, NCAA, Nebraska Cornhuskers, retarded, Scams, scandal, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, secrets, Texas A&M | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »