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Archive for the ‘Roll Tide’ Category

College Football Week 5 is in the books & here’s what I learned

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 28, 2008

Ah how I love upsets and there were plenty for this week.

Well the Fulmer death clock continues to tick…as always be expecting a full game grade tomorrow after I watch a tape of the game today.

Don’t look now but UCONN is 5-0, you should expect them to be ranked.

Michigan State is a contender for now…but for some reason they always implode mid season.

Speaking of imploding, Syracuse actually led Pittsburgh but ultimately lost. There’s internet chatter about Lloyd Carr becoming the next Orangemen coach.

Clemson…WTF? Oh, wait my mistake…the annual Tommy Bowden fail is occurring.

Northwestern is 5-0 and Iowa still sucks.

The miracle that occurred in the Miami-North Carolina game was amazing to watch.

Gee. Urban…is fourth down and one yard to go. You trail by one with time quickly ticking away. Why didn’t you try the 49 yard field goal? Was it arrogance? At least update the play book and run something other than a Tebow keeper. Great win for Ole Miss and the Rev. Nutt.

Fresno state continues to win and I love it.

I’m getting sick and damn tired of seeing that stupid Olive Garden commercial that they were over playing last year.

I hate F$U when I pick them to win, they let down. Win I pick to lose they win. Bastards!

Look out Notre Dame is 3-1 let’s place them in the Top 5 stat!

Rich “Dirty Sanchez” Rodriguez gets a huge…huge win against a top 10 Wisconsin team.

I hope you enjoyed your visit to the top 25 East Carolina because it is officially over.

Wow…Navy beats Wake Forest…just how bad does the ACC suck?

Oklahoma should have scored more points than they did.

South Carolina struggled against a UAB team that Tennessee blew out…interesting.

Wow Miss. State does have an offense after all, to bad they lost though.

Look for South Florida to enter the top 10 this week.

Welcome back Virginia Tech. however the first year Nebraska coach actually helped your cause by getting a 15 yard penalty for “debating” a call with the ref.

I hope Ty Willingham has called North American Moving by now.

What can I say about Alabama…other than they cheat, but they laid it on Georgia. Anyone else notice that Nick Saban is sporting the Behr Bryant alcoholism red nose?

Don’t look now but Duke is 3-1 and the Virginia coach is probably and should be suicidal at this point.

Joe Pa rules bitches but give the fighting Zookers credit for keeping it respectable.

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Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, alcoholics, Bama Cheats, Big East, big ten football, Big Twelve Football, Clemson Tigers, Crimson Tide, David Cutcliffe, Duke Blue Devils, East Carolina Pirates, fire philip fulmer, Florida Gators, Florida State Seminoles, Georgia Bulldogs, Herban Meyer, Houston Nutt, Illinois Fighting Illini, Internet Rumors, Joe Pa, Joe Paterno, jorts, Lloyd Carr, LSU Tigers, Miami hurricanes, Michigan State Spartons, Michigan Wolverines, Nebraska Cornhuskers, Nick Saban, North Carolina Tarheels, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, notre dame sucks, Oklahoma sooners, Pac 10 football, Penn State Nittany Lions, Roll Tide, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Skip Holtz, South Florida Bulls, suicide, Tennessee Volunteers, UCLA, Uga, upsets, Urban Meyer, Virginia Tech, Wisconsin Badgers, WTF, Zooker | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

College Football Week 3 is in the books & here’s what I learned + an update on Joel!!

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 14, 2008

First off I have great news. Joel has more than survived his epic bout with Hurricane Ike. Joel suffered no damage however he does not power, but him and his family are safe & dry. He would like to thank all the people that were praying for him.

His next bout will be with the government over the fleecing of gas that has occurred with this hurricane. Did you know that oil prices actually dropped last Friday? Of course not because they spiked to a staggering amount. These refineries only produce 25% of this nation’s gas, and some of that is exported. Nevertheless gas should only go up by 25%, big government should step in but never will.

Ok I just had to get that off my chest. That will be one of few times you’ll see something political on this blog…unless I find some hot photos of Sarah Palin. Is so wrong to lust after a female running for vice president?

South Florida decided to show some Big East pride by beating Kansas. This was a great game. The Kansas QB is awesome. It would be foolish of teams in the NFL not to draft him. I don’t care how tall he is. Think how good Doug Flutie could have been. Trust me there are a lot of NFL teams kicking themselves for not drafting him because of his height.

The Kansas QB reminds me of Vince Young except not as tall, stronger, more accurate, and not suicidal and he isn’t whiner.

Hyped games like the Nuts verses the Contraceptives suck. The SoCal-Ohio State was b-o-r-i-n-g. Let’s face it. Right now SoCal is that good. I don’t care if Beanie Wells didn’t play. The score wouldn’t have changed that much.

Under hyped games rule!! Kansas-South Florida & Fresno State-Wisconsin were awesome games.

Georgia failed to impress. However some of you might remember back in August that I predicted that Garcia would make his debut in the Georgia game and I was right. Self ^5.

Oklahoma continues to impress as Ty Willingham might need to start packing his bags.

Missouri looks great!

LSU did what LSU was supposed to do and beat a nobody team convincingly.

Does Auburn have an offense or is the defense of Miss. State that good?

The Tide continues to roll and they will be rolling next week as they play the worst SEC team in Arkansas. And even though the Texas-Arkansas was postponed, Texas would have crushed them.

East Carolina pulls out a squeaker and the R-E-S-P-E-C-T factor is falling with them as it is with Georgia Tech as well.

People better watch out for Ole Miss and Nebraska.

Everyone point and laugh at the PAC 10 this week. Sure USC rolled and Oregon pulled out a miracle but Arizona State lost to UNLV, UCLA got ass raped by the Mormons of BYU, Cal lost to Maryland….that right there deserves a LOL.

The ACC isn’t fairing any better as well with Virginia losing to UCONN big. Remember UCONN struggled against Temple last week.

Cutcliff is winning at Duke though. Way to go Coach!

Oh La La almost pulled off another epic upset against Illinois yesterday.

Penn State looks impressive I mean very impressive.

Oklahoma State continues to roll and roll big.

OMG Kentucky is undefeated.

Utah continues to roll. How important will the Utah-BYU game this year?

The Notre Dame defense looks good then again it was against Michigan. However Charlie Weis is more man than Tom Brady by electing not to have surgery on his busted up leg. Get better Coach I hate to pick on gimps.

I have a post coming up about the Tennessee game.

Did anyone notice how Herbstreit finally admits Mark Sanchez will probably be a Heisman finalist after side stepping the question?

Finally has anyone noticed how eerily similar that USC QB Mark Sanchez resembles Richard Ramirez AKA the serial killer known as the Night Stalker? (Insert scary music here)

…………………………………..

 

Posted in Arizona State Sundevils, Arkansas Razorbacks, Auburn, Big East, big ten football, Big Twelve Football, BYU, Cal, Dawgs, East Carolina Pirates, Georgia Bulldogs, Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, Illinois Fighting Illini, Jim Tressel, kansas jayhawks, Maryland, Miami hurricanes, Michigan Wolverines, mississippi state bulldogs, Missouri Tigers, Nebraska Cornhuskers, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, notre dame sucks, ohio state buckeyes, Oklahoma State Cowboys, ole miss rebels, Pac 10 football, Roll Tide, SEC Football, SoCal, South Carolina Gamecocks, South Florida Bulls, Temple, Tennessee Volunteers, The Night Stalker, UCLA, University of California berkeley, University of South Florida, University of Southern Cal, USC, USF, Washington Huskies, Zooker | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Billy Bob Bammer 1 The Rogue Cop of West Columbia 0

Posted by Billy Bob Bammer on August 29, 2008

It seems that tricking the Rogue Cop of West Columbia is easier than I thought. Since he announced the news that he was looking for me I’ve been covering my tracks purdy good. RTR!

The latest twist is he thinks he broke into my house and seized some meth-making equipment but it wasn’t my house it was my cousin’s house, Berry Bob Bammer. RTR

This is my place go compare it to that dump Berry lives in. RTR (Sorry Berry)

See I own several Jimmy Johns franchises in and around the T-Town Ghetto area so I quit dealing with meth…errr I mean I’m a legit business man. However Berry unfortunately thinks he can make meth more marketable. He has even talked of opening a Mike Price strip club.

See what people like the Rogue Cop doesn’t understand is those big time Bama boosters like me are protected by the spirit of the Behr. RTR!

As you can see from the photo below we’re presently building an alter to the Behr and for that added realism effect, the hat was doused with copious amounts of bourbon. RTR! The hat would have been bigger, but Phil Fulmer secretly conspired with the NCAA to force the manufacturer to keep it at 550 pounds.

I'm protected by the spirit of the Behr. RTR!

I hear Auburn’s doing the same thing only with a giant Massengale Bottle in honor of Tuberville. RTR! There’s also a rumor floating around that Auburn has recruited the “Super Best Friends” to construct and animate a giant Bo Jackson to break in and steal our giant Behr Bryant alter, but don’t worry we’ll be ready for them. RTR!

Anywho back to Rogue Cop…see we’re protected from all forms of justice. Logan Young didn’t become a martyr for nuffin! Now there is a splinter group that call themselves Sabantologist…they might be AS protected as I am but they are protected because Saban is the Behr reincarnated! RTR!

Better luck next time Rogue Cop I’m Atlanter bound to watch the Tide score 300 points against Clemson.

RTR Bitches!

Posted in ACC Football, Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Clemson Tigers, Crime & Punishment, Crimson Tide, Roll Tide, SEC Football | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Cage fighting bammer gets jail time. Alternative title: Lou Holtz is a retard

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 8, 2008

Joey Barrett Jr. as thrust himself into the finalist of Alabama fan of year. Here is the distasteful tale of a Bammer, Auburn fans and a retard named Louie Holtz. (Story)

I always knew Lou Holtz was retarded.

Joey Barrett is a tough Bammer SOB why he’s even a cage fighter that comes from a cage fighting family. In 2005 Barrett challenged two Auburn students by yelling “Roll Tide” in front of the Phi Kappa Tau fraternity house on the eve of the Iron Bowl.

Now that’s tough! Of course Barrett also had a knife (Cheater!! But he’s a Bammer what would you expect?) and stabbed one of the fraternity brothers who had to be rushed to the hospital with a collapsed lung.

The police levied a litany of assault charges against him causing his father, Daddy Barrett who is also known as King of Abba Shrine Center cage fighters, to whine that his offspring was being “railroaded”.

During the first trial in 2006 Barrett’s defense attorneys told the jury that man named Louie Holtz was the one that stabbed the Auburn student and not his angelic cage fighting client.

Here’s the kicker. Louie Holtz is mentally retarded so the judge ordered that he be represented by council. Holtz’s attorneys advised him not to testify. Since the jury had already heard Barrett’s sleazy lawyers state during the trial that Holtz was the stabber the judge had to declare a mistrial.

Now how would a retarded man get involved in such a thing? Well the prosecution decided to investigate and found out that Barrett bribed Holtz with a car (probably something sporty that a bammer would love like a 87 Berretta) to take the blame for his misgivings.

Once, Billy Bob Bammer paid a homeless man named Petey Carroll three bottles of rubbing alcohol to confess to the murder of a prostitute.

Oh Barrett knew how to cheat. He might even have a job with the university when he’s released from jail.

Feeling the heat Barrett copped a plea and was sentenced to 18 months in jail and five years probation for first-degree assault, as well as one year, to run concurrently with the first penalty, for bribing a retard.

Daddy Barrett AKA King of Abba Shrine Center cage fighters could not be reached for comment after the trial which is typical. After all the whining he did. Rumor has it that he is training for his next match. I pity his opponent.

Meanwhile Barrett Jr. will be in the Mobile County Metro Jail serving his time and hopefully being raped by a large Auburn fan.

Alabama: Paying retards to take credit for the work done by others both on and off the field.

Stay classy Bammers!!!

Barrett's defense attorneys notice the nancy-boy in the skirt

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Bear is Dead, cheaters, Crime & Punishment, Roll Tide | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

R.I.P. John Mark Stallings

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 3, 2008

John Mark Stallings the son of former Alabama coach Gene Stallings passed away yesterday.

John Mark was born with Down syndrome and suffered from health problems related to a congenital heart defect.

In extending sympathy to the family, Mal Moore, Alabama’s athletic director, said for someone who never played or coach a game:

“I think John Mark may have touched more Alabama fans than any other person ever did. I would like to thank the Stallings family for sharing their love for John Mark with all of us.”

John Mark’s story was detailed by his father in the book, “Another Season.” John Mark was 46.

The loss of a loved one, especially a special child is bigger than football. Coach Stallings spoke so patiently about his son and the affect he had on his life. God Bless you Coach Stallings and your Son. He is in heaven now. I’m asking for all Tennessee fans to forget the recent animosity between our schools and express our sympathy to the Stallings and extended Bama families.

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Gene Stallings, John Mark Stallings, Roll Tide, SEC Coaches, Tennessee Volunteers | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

At 2:26 PM Today the Official One Year Anniversary Begins

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 27, 2008

Wow, one solid year of writing this crap for you peons sharing our thoughts on sports related subjects.

First & for most I would like to thank Joel and Ghetto Philosopher for being the men that they are first and contributing writers second. I would thank Billy Bob Bammer and Little Bear Cub but they’re Bama bastards.

I also thank the following blogs in no particular order for inspiration and for giving me laughs when I sometimes need it the most.

I also want to thank the following people/teams/morons & all around idiots for giving such great material.

  • Steve God Spurrier and the USC thugs
  • Florida Gaytors
  • Cheating Bammers
  • O.J. “Slasher” Simpson
  • Michael Vick
  • University of West Virginia
  • New York Yank’mees
  • Every athlete that has been arrested this past year
  • Roger Clemens
  • Mindy Mccready
  • Jerrell Powe
  • Danica Patrick
  • Adam Pacman Jones

But mostly I want to thank you the readers. Whether we have pissed you off or made you laugh thank you for stopping by. The writers and I look forward to another year of slamming your favorite team and/or sports personality.

Posted in Adam Jones, Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, conVick, Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, Florida Gators, Jerrell Powe, Michael Vick, new york yankees, Ole Miss, ole miss rebels, Pacman Jones, Po Po, Roll Tide, Ron Mexico, satire, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Steve Spurrier, West Virginia Mountaineers, white trash, WTF, WVU, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

The Tide is High

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 25, 2008

Little Saint Nicky is having a bad off-season at Alabama.

In February Saban said:

“I’ve said enough is enough and we’re trying to fix it.”

Now with the arrests totaling ten Saban might be heard saying:

“Those dang Shula recruits ruining my regime. The Saban Regime shall have no other coke heads or players packing heat. Hey secretary, call Mal Moore and tell him to get Shula in here, I am going to kick his little gravy training ass back to his Pa. I’m going to Dick’s to buy some more straw hats. Mal you little weasel, I want another million to put up with this crap.”

The reason? Just a little coke dealer on the team that’s all. Ken Stabler might have a new roommate in rehab.

And they say it never snows in Alabama.

Jimmy Johns (not the sandwich franchise) a linebacker, was arrested Tuesday in Tuscaloosa and charged with five felony counts of distributing cocaine.

To add insult to injury a sixth charge of possession was also tacked on after police officers searched his off-campus residence and found cocaine and Ecstasy pills.

Saban knowing a super secret double probation punishment wouldn’t cut it this time, kicked JJ off the team.

“This type of behavior obviously will not be tolerated, and he is no longer a part of our program,” Saban said in a statement.

Capt. Jeff Snyder, who heads up the West Alabama Narcotics Task Force, said the Po Po received information about two months ago that Johns was involved in the selling of drugs.

“Once we were able to get our investigation in place, we were able to buy from him five different times over the last week and a half and were then able to obtain a search warrant for his residence,” Snyder said. “He was popular. A lot of people knew him.”

Records did not indicate whether Johns had hired a lawyer. He was held at the metro jail with bond set at $120,000.

I’m no Johnnie Cochran, especially since I am not dead or in hell, but it looks like Mr. Johns is in some major trouble. Certainly more trouble than normal players who had the various drinking charges a few months back. $120,000 bond, it’d take Saban a couple of hours to earn that kind of money with his contract.

Saban+Alabama+3 years=Sanctions.

You stay classy Bama! I’d be doing drugs to if I lost to Louisiana Monroe!

To bad this police officer wasn’t the one investigating the matter…maybe JJ would still be on the team.

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, cheaters, cocaine, Crime & Punishment, Crimson Tide, Louisiana Monroe, Nick Saban, Roll Tide, SEC Football | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments »

The Book of Numbers Chapter 13 (NIV)

Posted by Joel Jackson on June 2, 2008

There was once a man named Bobby, who was excited about the upcoming Tide football season, but was a little concerned because the team still had the pagan Shula’s recruits left. Bobby would putter along like any other member of the Saban Nation, spending his days stockpiling Scott Toilet Tissue whenever Walgreens had a sale on it, and kissing the altar of his holiness The Bear. Tuscaloosa wasn’t heaven, however Bobby felt as though it was heaven on earth.

He would remember his days as a youth as Bear brought in the best of the best to maintain the team’s rightful dominance in college football. His heart was very joyful when Stallings won another championship and the cash flowed throughout the town of Tuscaloosa, both around the team and at the local t-shirt shop. He even remembers seeing the prophet Logan Young on the sidelines, credit card in hand, to provide the players with the finest liquor, drugs, strippers, whatever was needed for the good of the Tide Nation, and Bear looked down from heaven and was proud.

However, Bobby’s faith has been a little shaken. The Tide has been a punchline lately, and the program has not won a championship in what seems like years. Even with the arrival of St. Nick the Magnificent, the Tide still cannot vanquish the in state goat lover’s to the south or the nutria in Louisiana. The only bright spot has been the annual trips to Shreveport to enjoy whatever there is to do in Shreveport.

Bobby was now down and out. His childhood memories of ‘Bama glory has now been replaced with images of Dee Snyder looking strippers hugged up with Coach Price, Shula’s gold chains, stolen textbooks, and losing 6 straight to Tuberville. There just hasn’t been enough Golden Flake chips in the world to bring the good memories back. One day, during the 7th inning stretch of the Montgomery Biscuits baseball game (the only team winning championships in the state these days), he had a vision after visiting his friend John at the Biscuits souvenir stand. His faith in the Tide would be restored, because St. Nick the Magnificent has just appeared in front of him. He then told Bobby:

“Verily I say unto you, my child, that thy faith has been shaken. Why??? Be mindful of your thoughts, your feelings about the Crimson Tide have betrayed you. I have wined and dined with kings and queens, and I beseech you, my child, to have faith. Have you forgotten that I am a direct descendant of Bear himself??? Did you not remember that I vanquished the mighty Vols by my mastery and cunning alone??? I have unlimited resource$ at my disposal. Remember when Julio Jones put on that crimson hat on signing day??? Why have you lost your faith???

Bobby replied “My Prophet!!! You are not short like all the liberal left wing nut job papers report that you are. And your hair is so perfect and has a silky sheen to it. Do you use Prell???” To which St. Nick the Magnificent replied:

You mean to tell me that is the response that I get??? Typical. How can these people afford to pay me $4 million per year with such dumb ass responses??? Oh well, West Virginia will be open in a couple of years. Listen son, have faith in me. I am great. I have put downtrodden programs back on the map and have a national championship to my credit. The problem is that right now we are still trying to weed out Gold Chain Shula’s players that he recruited. In a few years, we will be competing for that SEC West crown in no time.”

Bobby was now feeling much better. His faith had been just about restored, but he had to ask the following: “What about Auburn???

“For there is a great eagle to the south that soars high and wide over the stars that fell over Alabama. The eagle has posed little to no threat to life as we speak until recently. But verily I say unto you, Bobby, ye of the “fine” public educational system in Alabama, that we shall vanquish that eagle and the Tide will roll once again. Fear not, my child, for lo, I will be with you always (until my next fat paycheck). Continue to drink out of the Biscuits souvenir cup that has just touched the hem of my garment and you shall be transported to a happier time.”

It was then that Bobby woke up, pissy drunk in Montgomery County jail on charges of public intoxication after consuming 64 oz. of moonshine at a Southern League baseball game. It seemed that his friend John was an Auburn alum and alerted the police of his drunkenness…

Posted in Alabama, Alabama Crimson Tide, alcoholics, All SEC Teams Beware!!, Auburn, College Football, NCAA, Nick Saban, Roll Tide, satire, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Sports, Tommy Tuberville, tommy Turbeville, War Eagle | 1 Comment »

Logan Young: Sacrificial Lamb

Posted by Little Bear Cub on March 31, 2008

300young_bryant_2751.jpg

Look at Mr. Young. He looks so peaceful, stoic, determined, and defiant. Damned all of the legal troubles, he is a true sacrifice for the institution that we call Alabama football. I love this pic of Mr. Young. Hanging on the wall behind him is God in houndstooth, Coach Bryant. I dare not call Mr. Young by his first name, because he is too important in the annals of Alabama football.

Some of us members of the now “Saban Nation” have distanced ourselves from Mr. Young. Not me. I fully embrace Mr. Young for his efforts to make sure that ‘Bama Ball keeps its rightful place among the top of college football. USC, Notre Dame, Ohio State, and Michigan football be damned. Alabama IS college football and the sacrifice that Mr. Young has made should be a shining example of giving up yourself for the greater good of Alabama football. RTR…

I am getting almost misty eyed writing this, but if I can get at least one of my fellow ‘Bama brethern to see the light, then I will gladly dehydrate by ocular extraction for the greater good. After all, Mr. Young gave the ultimate gift in the name of Alabama football, so a few lost tears won’t hurt.

Last December, before I made my winter hunting trip to Shreveport, I was in the Bass Pro Shop in Prattville looking for a brand new Benelli Super Nova w/ Steady Grip. This gun is perfect for hunting the native nutria in Shreveport. As I was holding the piece, a vision came upon me. As I made my purchase, I decided to name this particular gun Mr. Young. This gun would be used to pierce the hearts and heads of any prey that may come before me, just as Mr. Young used his incredible finances to ensure recruits land at Alabama. Anyway, after we set up our nutria blind in Shreveport, I got my gear on and loaded Mr. Young. As I laid down cabbage leaves in the nutria kill zone, I raced back to the blind until the first critter came out. I grabbed Mr. Young, saw the creature through my Bushnell scope, and squeezed the trigger. I caught that nutria right between the eyes. Mr. Young was accurate and deadly, just like the original. We ate plenty of nutria that night in December, along with some Golden Flake chips and a Coke, just like Bear did. The next night, we watched the Tide roll over those pagans from Colorado.

Mr. Young, you are gone, but this Little Bear Cub will never forget you or the sacrifice that you made for the University of Alabama. ROLL TIDE ROLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted in Alabama, Alabama Crimson Tide, alcoholics, All SEC Teams Beware!!, armed robbery, Asphyxiation, ass chewing, Ass Whipping, Bama Bangs, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, BCS, Bear is Dead, boosters, cheaters, College Football, Crimson Tide, Dead Drunk, DUI, ESPN, fire philip fulmer, Florida Sucks, football, Football Poll, Fulmer, fulmer sucks, killer, legal troubles, Logan Young, Mascots, mentally challenged, mobsters, moral victories, moron, NCAA, Nick Saban, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Phillip Fulmer, pimps, Po Po, poker, Police, repo, retarded, Rips Media, Roll Tide, Saban, satire, Scams, scandal, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, SEC Speed | Tagged: , | 4 Comments »

Alabama Might Want to Ask Saban for a Refund.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 18, 2007

Four million dollars can buy you a lot of things, but Alabama wasn’t counting on the fact that 4 million will buy them a lose to Louisiana Monroe. Sure Alabama destroyed my favorite team Tennessee, but then again so did Florida & Cal plus Tennessee nearly lost to South Carolina & Vandy, so it’s not saying that much.

Before the break of dawn tomorrow I’m sure some Alabama fans will sacrifice their first borns, short out the circuit board of the Psychic Hotline & and cry out to the one that bears the hounds tooth crown of thorns known as Paul Bear Bryant. After all Bear would have never been Croomed two times in a row. Then again Shula wouldn’t have lost to Ooh La La either.

“Quintez Secka had two interceptions and Louisiana-Monroe turned Alabama away three times on promising scoring drives in the fourth quarter to pull off a 21-14 upset Saturday and send the Crimson Tide to a third consecutive defeat.”

Word up Q-Dawg maybe you need to play for Tennessee, our defense made John Sarah Jessica Parker Wilson look like a Heisman candidate, then again you made Ainge look like one as well so umm never mind.

“James Truxillo batted away his final attempt, drawing a cascades of boos from Alabama fans who had been restless and mostly quiet the whole game, and drew chants of “U-L-M” from the tiny section of Louisiana-Monroe faithful.”

By tiny they mean like under 20. Bear is rolling in his grave right now. Bamazoids already booing their “Super Coach” Saban in his first year. Maybe they realized that they aren’t as good as they thought, or that deep down in his black soul he’s the greatest sports liar there was.

“It was a humbling loss for an Alabama team already coming off defeats to Mississippi State and No. 1 LSU, and a setback for a program that is paying Nick Saban $4 million a year to lead a turnaround.

The Tide had been expected to get a chance to use the game as a tuneup for the regular-season finale at Auburn. The WarHawks had other ideas. They forced three first-half turnovers to forge a 14-all tie and shut Alabama out in the second half.”

It wasn’t humbling, that was last week, it was humiliating. On the bright side maybe Saban will get a job offer from Texas A&M or Nebraska, then Hal can start the “Build a Bear” project for the second straight year.

A group of Bammers is already planning a smear campaign, in order to get a refund minus 20% handling fee from Saban. After three straight loses I’m sure somewhere in the distance Mike Price is laughing.


These Bammers don’t play around!

So I profess on this day 11/18/07

TtT

 

Posted in Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Bear is Dead, Louisiana Monroe, Nick Saban, Rocky Top, Roll Tide, Saban, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, whiners, white trash | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments »