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Archive for the ‘scandal’ Category

Naked Softball Hazing: Should it be an Olympic sport? Let’s hope not!

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 17, 2009

There once was a safer time in this great country when you could allow your kids to play outside unsupervised or you could sleep with your doors unlocked. Of course all that has changed significantly but how I yearn for times like those, a time where people remained “innocent” until about 17-years old and nude softball hazing was still allowed and not frowned upon. 

Well in today’s world all children should be supervised when outside, doors remain locked at all time and damn it nude softball hazing is now a bad thing. Recently a softball coach from Knoxville, Tenn. has found that out the hard way. While on a spring break tournament trip in Myrtle Beach, Anderson County High School softball coach, Heather Branum, members of her team allegedly forced freshmen teammates to strip in a hotel swimming pool and stay there for up to 10 minutes.  Because of this incident she has resigned her position at the school. 

Oh but wait there’s more. From WATE6 in Knoxville

The parent also says Branum watched the incident and threatened the girls with running laps if they told others about the incident. In her resignation letter, Branum writes: 

“It is with my deepest regret that I submit my resignation as the Head Coach of the Anderson County Softball team. During a recent spring break trip, an event occurred that I am extremely sorry that I allowed to happen and I take full responsibility. I would never do anything to put my team in harm’s way or embarrass my team. There is nothing that I wouldn’t do for any of my girls if they needed me. In the past two years, I’ve learned a lot about how hard it is to be a coach in today’s environment and I am still learning. Please accept this letter of resignation with my sincerest apologies.” 

The coach then added, “But you can never take the mental images away from me, suckers!” OK I made up that part. 

I’m betting ff the coach hadn’t played the Indigo Girls so loud the other guests would have never complained. 

That photo of the coach is a stone-cold reminder that not all that has to do with the world of softball is related to Jennie Finch. I wonder if the hotel staff was notified of the naked swimmers when a concierge noticed horrendous vomiting by several visitors returning from the pool area.

Posted in fat chix, Girls High school softball, scandal, Softball Hazing | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

Isiah Thomas is employed again no really he is

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 15, 2009

In a state known more for hurricanes, mullets and jorts comes one man to turn the college basketball scene upside down and that is Isiah Thomas. 

Now history tells us that Isiah Thomas as a coach is well…dreadful but that was at the pro level. There is no telling what he will or can do at a college level. However I believe that Thomas’ qualifications to coach a college team are nil. 

Let’s run review his qualifications and I’ll you decide: 

  • 30 years ago he played 2 years for Bobby Knight
  • He took a conference champion to a .500 record and three straight first-round playoff defeats. 
  • He bankrupted the entire ABA league.
  • He ruined the New York Knicks who at the time was a historically proud NBA franchise. 

Those things alone should bring fear to any athlete director but then there are these things that took place when he was in charge of the Knicks to consider: 

  • An $11 million sexual harassment suit
  • Accusations of racism
  • Stephan Marbury
  • OD’ing on sleeping pills to only blame the daughter
  • He’s an asshole 

It would be hard for Florida International not to get better considering their record this past season and the antics of Thomas’ past might even land them some games on ESPN but did they sell their soul in order to obtain Thomas? We see what a disaster he was at the Knicks so you should wonder if he is even capable at reading an NCAA rulebook. However you can look at it like this: If Isiah can find another job; the economy must finally be on the mend. 

Rumor has it that the students have already petitioned to change the school’s abbreviation:




In a related story, Flip Saunders has agreed to coach the Wizards. 

This is the man that FIU should have hired!

Posted in Bob Knight, Florida International University, Isiah Thomas, jorts, Kige Ramsey, NBA, NCAA Basketball, NCAA Rules Violation, New York Knicks, scandal, Sexual-Harassment Case, suicide attempt, zeke | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Adult Diapers, CGI fakery, heat strokes & one person paralized…but oh what an opening ceremony

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 20, 2008

If you haven’t noticed by now I’m not a fan of China’s totalitarianism regime or the fact the Olympics are being held there in the first place.

I’ve already written about China’s CGI fakery and the fact they are hardcore Milli Vanilli fans last week. Now let’s go into some new lows and some shocking comments as well.

Reports are coming out that 2,200 chosen pugilist prodigies spent an average of 16 hours a day, every day, rehearsing a synchronized tai-chi number for three months in trying conditions at a restricted army camp on the outskirts of Beijing, just so they can wow the rest of the world with the Olympic opening ceremony.

Performers stated that they sustained injuries from slipping during rain-drenched rehearsals or fainting from heatstroke amid hours of training under the relentless summer sun.

“We never went out during the time we were training,” one performer told the AP in a phone interview. “Our school is quite strict. When we stay in school we can’t go out on our own, let alone when we’re at a military camp.”

In the most extreme case, it has been revealed last week that Liu Yan, a 26-year-old dancer, was seriously injured during a July rehearsal. Shanghai media reported that she fell from a 10-foot stage and is likely to be permanently paralyzed from the waist down.

“North Korea is No. 1 in the world when it comes to uniformity. They are uniform beyond belief! These kind of traditional synchronized movements result in a sense of beauty. We Chinese are able to achieve this as well. Through hard training and strict discipline,” Zhang Yimou the ceremony’s director, said.

Zhang said, citing his experience working on an opera performance abroad. Though he didn’t mention specific productions:

Zhang Yimou

“Performers in the West by contrast need frequent breaks and cannot withstand criticism. In one week, we could only work four and a half days, we had to have coffee breaks twice a day, couldn’t go into overtime and just a little discomfort was not allowed because of human rights,” he said of the unidentified opera production.

“You could not criticize them either. They all belong to some organizations … they have all kind of institutions, unions. We do not have that. We can work very hard, can withstand lots of bitterness. We can achieve in one week what they can achieve in two months.”


In the Olympic ceremony segment showcasing the Chinese invention of movable type, the nearly 900 performers who crouched under 40-pound boxes donned adult diapers to allow them to stay inside for at least six hours, Beijing organizers said.

It is so hilarious that this Director felt that the rules that kept him from bullying the performers here in the States were an obstacle. Those rules were put in place specifically to keep people like him from abusing workers. It’s like a police officer from another country coming here and saying “Darn it, how am I supposed to enforce the law when I can’t beat people? I can’t even talk down to them!” Priceless!

What’s it matter what you can accomplish in a week when you have to hurt people to do it? Personally, I’d rather take two months to get the job done if it meant people were actually happy and treated well, getting to enjoy the journey, the process, and not just the destination.

Of course you can accomplish more with slaves than free people, but what’s the point? It’s the same insane justification that people who run sweatshops use. Why worry about human rights when you can ship more units at a lower price, right?

And just so no one gets it twisted, NOBODY, including your great grandparents, wants to go back to the days when workers had fewer rights. Those were NOT better times. People today STILL work 16 hour days (including the Olympians), but they do it because they WANT to, not because they are being forced, which is exactly how it should be.

Wonder if Mr. “North Korea is #1” would have given up his salary and jumped in a diaper like he expected everyone else to do? Hmm …

The fact that the director admired North Korea is terrifying. I guess it’s ok to let hundreds of thousands of people to starve to death as long as the ones who get food can all dance in lockstep.

Some students of the Shaolin Tagou Traditional Chinese Martial Arts School in Henan province who began training for the event last May were injured in falls on the LED screen that forms the floor on which they performed and was made slippery by rain, said Liu Haike, one of the school’s lead instructors.

“At one point, the children had to run in four different directions. … When one fell, others quickly followed,” Liu said, adding the injuries were minor.

While in Beijing, the constant exposure to the dizzyingly hot summer resulted in heatstroke for some students, particularly during one rain-drenched rehearsal that stretched on for two days and two nights.

Maybe some people want to live in a society like that. I don’t… I appreciate the concern for people’s wellbeing (even though our society has gone too far in trying to protect people) and the freedom to make choices as opposed to being given no option but to participate.

Strictly speaking, China has become a fascist state, not a communist or socialist one. The interconnectedness between the government, ruling class, and business leaders is consistent with the textbook definition of fascism.

The only thing that surprises me about this is that these atrocities weren’t broken long before the Olympics began.

As if Costas’ inane commentary wasn’t enough, this story will surely put a damper on NBC’s Opening Ceremony DVD sales…

Posted in China, Human Rights, Milli Vanilli, scandal, The Olympics, trickery | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Chinese apparently love Milli Vanilli & other Olympic trickery

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 13, 2008

Read my lips ... Lin Miaoke miming the song on Friday. Inset: Yang Peiyi, the face of the real voice.

Oh those Chinese are so clever. Remember what everyone was talking about Monday around the water cooler? I certainly do. How the opening ceremony of the Olympics was so grand and no one will ever be able to out do them. Blah Blah Blah

Well in less than a week and we now see how things aren’t always as they seem in the worlds most popular and lovable Communist country.

If you watched the opening ceremony last Friday night you saw an adorable little girl and heard her song. For some reason this actually captivated millions of viewers. But what you saw was not what you or they heard.

Yes folks that’s right. China pulled a Milli Vanilli on the world. The bastards! The little girl everyone saw, Lin Miaoke, was paraded Friday into Beijing’s National Stadium, was not singing at all.

Lin was lip-syncing to the sound of another girl, 7-year-old Yang Peiyi, who was heard but not seen, apparently because she was deemed not adorable enough.

Didnt they do this with C&C Music Factory where they replaced CeCe Peniston with some non-fat chick?

“The reason was for the national interest,” said Chen Qigang, the ceremony’s musical director, in a state radio interview. “The child on camera should be flawless in image, internal feeling and expression. … Lin Miaoke is excellent in those aspects.”

Apparently she is a flawed singer though and I just love the comment about “national interest.”

Oh, I’ll pass judgment on THIS.

Oh hells yes. “For the national interest” my ass. Do they honestly think this is going to IMPROVE their image with the world, because they told a seven year old KID that she wasn’t cute enough to sing on stage in front of the world, even though she has a great voice?! Yeah the rest of the world will really forget the millions of forced abortions in China now.

Those who watched the Olympic ceremony never realized the deception & the state controlled press were no help either. “Tiny singer wins heart of nation,” was the headline in Tuesday’s China Daily newspaper.

“Lin Miaoke might be only 9 years old but she is well on her way to becoming a star, thanks to her heartwarming performance,” the article stated — without mentioning the very important fact that she never sang a note.

Let’s chalk this on the ever growing list of why I had China.

  • Biggest violators in human rights
  • Links to the genocide in Dufur.
  • The whole Tibet issue.
  • Yao Ming (OK I don’t hate Yao but I’m not putting General Tso’s Chicken on this list 🙂 )

But there’s more trickery my friends. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in China, Milli Vanilli, scandal, The Olympics, trickery | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »

Ed McMahon & Latrell Sprewell Have Something in Common

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 6, 2008

It’s no secret that there seems to be a financial crisis in the country. Everyone has been affected. Pac Man Jones can’t afford too go to as many strip clubs these days. I’ve been cutting back on my diet Pepsi consumption.

Ed McMahon is in danger of losing his multi million-dollar Beverly Hills home to foreclosure. If you remember Latrell Sprewell recently lost his home due to foreclosure as well. Maybe they can become roommates and be the ultimate odd couple. Latrell can tell stupid jokes and Ed can say “YES” over and over.

As of Wednesday afternoon, McMahon’s Mediterranean-styled house was still in the process of foreclosure; the bank hasn’t taken it over yet and no trustee sale date has been set. McMahon and his wife, Pamela, are having “very fruitful discussions” with the lender to resolve the problem, spokesman Howard Bragman said Wednesday.

The former “Star Search” host has found himself in the same situation so many homeowners have recently, said Daren Blomquist, spokesman for RealtyTrac, which follows foreclosure filings. He found that McMahon has taken out several loans on the house over the past few years, including a $300,000 home equity line of credit the same day he took out the $4.8 million loan in November 2005.

“You’re using your house as a piggy bank because there’s so much equity — at least back in 2005 — so you’re able to take money out of it and use that for just spending in any way you see fit,” Blomquist said. “But the problem with that in the long term is that with the housing in this market, you don’t see it continue to go up in property value. Now, you see it going down in many areas … and you still have to pay your mortgage payments. You don’t have the option to take more cash out of the house.”

I recently read that he was awarded a settlement that exceeds the value of the home in question…and he can’t afford to pay the mortgage? What’s really going on here?

If it’s a gated community, I hope Publisher’s Clearinghouse can make it to his front door.

Hey, he *could* be a winner!

Seriously he was paid millions to laugh at Carson’s jokes, rep for Publisher’s Clearinghouse and several other companies. Where does the money go? And can’t these people (the rich) learn to pay cash upfront and purchase the entire “estate” at once. That way if something truly happens all they would need to worry about is making the tax payments.

Remember I still need “bail” money!!! Click here for details.

Posted in Ed McMahon, Latrell Sprewell, legal troubles, scandal | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »

SoCal Prepares to Play Dumb Again

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 22, 2008

SoCal s planning to tell the NCAA it did not know of any improper activity between over hyped O.J. Mayo and an event promoter alleged to have given the basketball player $30,000 in cash and gifts. Yeah…and I’m the pope…

USC still doesn’t realize that buying Reggie Bush a house is improper. Big surprise they don’t see impropriety.

School officials said the NCAA might speak with the school this week, and USC is preparing its initial defense, including telling the NCAA that it previously had banned the promoter, Rodney Guillory, from receiving tickets to Trojans games.

“Right now, we’re just trying to weather the storm,” a USC official said

Just one slight problem with that defense, Guillory was seen often at the USC basketball offices, around the locker room, and at pickup games at the Galen Center, where Mayo played last summer.

Mayo has repeatedly denied allegations of accepting money and gifts in violation of NCAA rules.

“My family hasn’t accepted anything, so I’m just waiting for the NCAA to do what they have to do to prove that I haven’t done anything wrong,” Mayo told the Los Angeles Times last week, “… but I know for a fact that I haven’t accepted anything.”

Scene…NCAA Investigation Room…Tom Cruise starring as the NCAA, Jack Nicholsen starring as USC in the movie “A Few Good Liars”:
USC: You want answers?
NCAA: I think I’m entitled.
USC: You want answers?!
NCAA: I want the truth!
USC: You can’t handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has money and that money needs to be accumulated by big companies that flaunt rules. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, NCAA? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for OJ Mayo and curse the Trojans; you have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that hanging OJ Mayo out to dry and denying culpability, while tragic, probably saved millions of dollars and that my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves millions of dollars.
You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties you want me to make you money, you need me to make you money. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use then as the backbone of a life trying to defend something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket bought by the money I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said “thank you,” and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest that you pick up a tin cup and beg on street corners. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

Now my take:

This can all be circumvented if college athletes are ineligible to be drafted in ALL sports until after their junior year of eligibility. I know, I know, I know, some one will probably challenge this in Court. Heck let them. Let’s get a ruling on it. There can be an out. Don’t sign a scholarship following high school graduation to participate in inter-collegiate and go straight to the pros; that is, of course, if you are good enough. But anomalies like Moses Malone; Kobe Bryant and LaBron James are few and far between; hence, anomalies. An Another exemption is if a coach takes a scholarship away from an athlete after his/her freshman or sophomore year. Those athletes can then and only then become eligible to turn pro prior to completing their junior year of college. As for athletes that abuse the process and purposefully get kicked off teams in order to become eligible to turn pro then fine. Hey, they will fit right in with spoil bratted pros, but then again they may not get drafted because who wants, needs, or can trust such a surreptitious character on their team anyway.

Finally, this rule will curtail a lot of train wrecks from occurring. Too many young men who think they are ready for pro sports and who have had their heads filled with agent’s garbage about how good they are “right now” and how ready they are “right now” have had their dreams foiled when they find out that they aren’t ready at all and find themselves on the scrap heap of cut players.

Whatever the outcome of this will be one thing is for sure…USC isn’t doing too well with former athletes named OJ.

Remember I still need “bail” money!!! Click here for details.

Posted in cheaters, NBA, NCAA Rules Violation, O.J. Mayo, Pac 10, scandal, SoCal, southern cal, University of Southern Cal, USC | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

I Squeeze Elmer’s In Your Honor

Posted by Joel Jackson on May 4, 2008

RIP Eight Belles

For you gave your life through & through.

Now as you lie on a cold slab for autopsy,

Your remains will soon become glue.

You were an amazing philly,

Trying to chase the men.

All for a few bucks,

Gold diggin’ until the end.

The way you ran that race,

And snapped your front sticks.

All so your owners can get some cash;

Is their last name Vick???

As you go out

Into the great sky.

I hope you meet Barbaro in heaven

As your earthly bodies will take an hour to dry…

RIP Eight Belles…

Posted in satire, scandal | Tagged: , , , , | 2 Comments »

Hey Roger it’s Called Child Molestation

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 29, 2008

Roger Clemens’ squeaky clean baseball image went down in flames earlier this year with the Mitchell Report Hearings, now his family life is doing the same. (As if throwing his wife under the bus in the steroid allegations wasn’t enough)

The Daily News is reporting Roger Clemens carried on a decade-long affair with country star Mindy McCready, a romance that began when McCready was a 15-year-old aspiring singer performing in a karaoke bar and Clemens was a 28-year-old Red Sox ace and married father of two.

To bad Dateline NBC wasn’t around then. Let’s review. Clemens 28, McCready 15. I believe that’s called child molestation in all 50 states, or at the very least statutory rape. Wow……talk about a fall from grace.

Rusty Hardin, the lead council for Clemens confirmed a long-term relationship but denied that it was of a sexual nature. Rrrriiiiggghhhtttttttt they don’t call him Rocket for nothing.

“He flatly denies having had any kind of an inappropriate relationship with her,” Hardin said. “He’s considered her a close family friend. … He has never had a sexual relationship with her.”

Is this the same “no sexual relations with this woman” that President Clinton had. I mean after all, if the President of a Nation can justify sex, and what is not sex in the court of law…surely Roger can get away with it as well.

Hardin said the Rocket’s wife, Debbie, knew McCready and that the singer had traveled on his plane.

Of course this could damage his lawsuit against McNamee.

“The issue in Roger’s suit against McNamee is Roger’s reputation and how it has been damaged,” said Richard Emery, one of McNamee’s lawyers who is handling the defamation suit. “If it’s proved that he’s a philanderer, his reputation is already damaged. When you sue for defamation, you put your whole reputation in the community at issue. Anything is fair game, including his claim of sanctimonious purity. We would cross-examine him and other witnesses who might impact on his alleged behavior. We would probably subpoena her and witnesses who knew [of the relationship]. He’s a ‘family man’ – he implies that. It’s about what his damages are. All is fair game.”

This has nothing to do with his steroid use, but has everything to do with Roger’s integrity. If proven true, this will take all Roger’s credibility away. Roger lies about affair = Roger lies about steroid use. He should just come clean.

Clemens was with his Red Sox teammates in a Fort Myers, Fla., bar when then-teenager McCready caught his eye. After Clemens threw a shirt with his and several teammates’ signatures onstage, an introduction was made.

“It was love at first sight, no doubt about it,” said a source with intimate knowledge of the relationship.

Ummm, I think it’s time to break out the “misremember” card again, Roger.

According to the source, McCready did not learn that Clemens was married to Debbie Clemens until McCready attended a baseball game with her two younger brothers and read Clemens’ bio in the program. The source says that McCready was too young to be angered by the news that Clemens was taken.

And why be mad? She was 15…fucking 15! She wouldn’t have the understanding or the cognitive thinking to be mad.

McCready was briefly engaged to actor Dean Cain and later was in an abusive relationship with Billy McKnight – the father of her only child, Zander. But she also continued to see the “Rocket” take off.

Her personal life, however, soon played out like a bad country song which there are plenty of. There was a 2004 arrest for prescription fraud. A near-overdose while pregnant. A guilty plea by McKnight for assaulting McCready. And her stint in a Tennessee jail last year after violating probation, for allegedly hitting her mother in Florida.

How appropriate that she was arrested for Prescription fraud in 2004….. Wonder what the specifics were, or maybe Clemens got her addicted to prescription drugs. I can see it now, Roger shooting up and McCready begging him to let her try it. Sort of like that scene from Ray.

Even during her troubles, the sources say Clemens was never far from McCready. Clemens would frequently send bundles of cash in FedEx packages, they say, as she dealt with her legal issues. According to one of the sources, Clemens even reached out to McCready through an intermediary while she was in jail last year, although McCready had cut ties with the Rocket as far back as 2006.

According to reports when McCready and Clemens were together, there was barely any friction between them. The two were known to take lavish trips to Las Vegas and New York. One time, McCready attended a Yankees game at the Stadium and jokingly donned a catcher’s mask near the home dugout. During another Big Apple excursion, the two holed up in the trendy SoHo Grand and later partied with Monica Lewinsky and Michael Jordan. McCready, according to a source, even bummed a cigar off His Airness to give to Clemens. And the topper there were personal love missives to Clemens hidden in McCready’s album liner notes. Now go out there and buy some CD’s! 😉

Let me get this straight. SoHo, Vegas, Bill Clinton’s personal cum stain and Debbie Clemens was ok with this?!?!?!

The relationship with McCready paints a very different picture of Clemens than the one drawn by Jose Canseco in his book “Juiced,” where he went out of his way to say that Clemens was one of very few professional ballplayers who was faithful to his wife. Of course Clemens didn’t take steroids either…

And it smacks of a different Clemens than the one who spoke passionately of his family in his opening remarks to Congress Feb. 13. Debbie Clemens was seated behind her husband at the hearing.

“Anyone who has spent time around me knows that my family is and has always been my top priority,” a portion of the statement read. “My wife, Debbie, and my sons – Koby, Kory, Kacy and Kody – mean more to me than anything in the world. Having said that, baseball has definitely provided me with significant opportunities off the field.”

Just one more example of why Clemens is in trouble. People with power and money always seem to think they are above reproach. Welcome to the peasant’s world, Mr. Clemens. Clemens, you should have just admitted you did steroids. This could have all be over with.

This is McCready today….Yeah Roger hit that!

Posted in Mindy McCready, Roger Clemens, scandal, secrets, Sports, steroids | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

She’s A ‘Bama Cougar

Posted by Little Bear Cub on April 1, 2008

Alana Colette Connell is one sexy lady. And don’t you dipshits forget it. You clandestine sissy boys made fun of her last year kissing Nick Saban and getting arrested for DUI immediately afterwards. You fans of other schools are just jealous that a woman would take off of her job at Dollar General to attend a pep rally for the new coach. You wish you had fans as dedicated to the Capstone as Ms. Connell. She’s a Cougar.


Now that’s a fan. So what she had a few drinks too many? The cop that arrested her was a Barner. Those numbnuts from the Barn are just sooooooooooooooo jealous of our 12 prizes and the Paul “Bear” Bryant Museum. Remind me again who the fuck Pat Dye was? That’s right animal lovers, he ain’t even Bill Curry. Leave our George Dickel drinking cougar alone.

Oh, and to show you some more talent from Tuscaloosa, not that these jackasses on this site know what beauty is, here you go:


Roll Tide Roll Bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted in Alabama, Alabama Crimson Tide, All SEC Teams Beware!!, Auburn, Bammers, BCS, boosters, Mascots, NCAA, Nick Saban, Saban, satire, Scams, scandal, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, SEC Speed, Sex Video | Tagged: , , | 6 Comments »

Logan Young: Sacrificial Lamb

Posted by Little Bear Cub on March 31, 2008


Look at Mr. Young. He looks so peaceful, stoic, determined, and defiant. Damned all of the legal troubles, he is a true sacrifice for the institution that we call Alabama football. I love this pic of Mr. Young. Hanging on the wall behind him is God in houndstooth, Coach Bryant. I dare not call Mr. Young by his first name, because he is too important in the annals of Alabama football.

Some of us members of the now “Saban Nation” have distanced ourselves from Mr. Young. Not me. I fully embrace Mr. Young for his efforts to make sure that ‘Bama Ball keeps its rightful place among the top of college football. USC, Notre Dame, Ohio State, and Michigan football be damned. Alabama IS college football and the sacrifice that Mr. Young has made should be a shining example of giving up yourself for the greater good of Alabama football. RTR…

I am getting almost misty eyed writing this, but if I can get at least one of my fellow ‘Bama brethern to see the light, then I will gladly dehydrate by ocular extraction for the greater good. After all, Mr. Young gave the ultimate gift in the name of Alabama football, so a few lost tears won’t hurt.

Last December, before I made my winter hunting trip to Shreveport, I was in the Bass Pro Shop in Prattville looking for a brand new Benelli Super Nova w/ Steady Grip. This gun is perfect for hunting the native nutria in Shreveport. As I was holding the piece, a vision came upon me. As I made my purchase, I decided to name this particular gun Mr. Young. This gun would be used to pierce the hearts and heads of any prey that may come before me, just as Mr. Young used his incredible finances to ensure recruits land at Alabama. Anyway, after we set up our nutria blind in Shreveport, I got my gear on and loaded Mr. Young. As I laid down cabbage leaves in the nutria kill zone, I raced back to the blind until the first critter came out. I grabbed Mr. Young, saw the creature through my Bushnell scope, and squeezed the trigger. I caught that nutria right between the eyes. Mr. Young was accurate and deadly, just like the original. We ate plenty of nutria that night in December, along with some Golden Flake chips and a Coke, just like Bear did. The next night, we watched the Tide roll over those pagans from Colorado.

Mr. Young, you are gone, but this Little Bear Cub will never forget you or the sacrifice that you made for the University of Alabama. ROLL TIDE ROLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted in Alabama, Alabama Crimson Tide, alcoholics, All SEC Teams Beware!!, armed robbery, Asphyxiation, ass chewing, Ass Whipping, Bama Bangs, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, BCS, Bear is Dead, boosters, cheaters, College Football, Crimson Tide, Dead Drunk, DUI, ESPN, fire philip fulmer, Florida Sucks, football, Football Poll, Fulmer, fulmer sucks, killer, legal troubles, Logan Young, Mascots, mentally challenged, mobsters, moral victories, moron, NCAA, Nick Saban, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Phillip Fulmer, pimps, Po Po, poker, Police, repo, retarded, Rips Media, Roll Tide, Saban, satire, Scams, scandal, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, SEC Speed | Tagged: , | 4 Comments »