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Archive for the ‘SEC Basketball’ Category

Kennedy takes a plea deal I wonder if he is finally able to have sex with Kimber again

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 22, 2009

kennedy_punch_out

Well it’s come to this. Andy Kennedy takes a plea deal for a reduced charge of disorderly conduct in return received 40 hours of community service and six months probation. Thanks in part to this an international incident has been avoided. 

After months of denying and calling others liars, he cops a deal. I’m sure it was just to put this behind him, and not because of the pictures, police report, and impartial witness to his actions supporting the taxi driver’s statement. 

The AD doesn’t seem pleased about this situation and I think he has many questions for which only Kennedy has the answers. 

“Andy should have handled this situation better as it relates to the time frame and subsequent dispute,” athletics director Pete Boone said. 

For those of you who might not know Kennedy was arrested last December when Mississippi was in Cincinnati for a game against Louisville as part of the SEC/Big East Invitational. Cab driver Mohamed Moctar Ould Jiddou said Kennedy punched him in the face and called him a terrorist after he told the coach he couldn’t fit him and four others into his cab. 

Kennedy has dummied up after the hearing Monday, noting that the civil lawsuits are still pending. Like the one where his spouse, Kimber, is suing the cab driver because the stress involved with this incident has caused Kennedy not to sexually perform like a man 

Kennedy later released a statement through Ole Miss apologizing to the school and its fans. 

“I acknowledge using poor judgment which resulted in an adverse reflection on me, my family, our program and the university that I so proudly represent,” Kennedy said in his statement. 

I think this was a bad move on Kennedy’s part due to the fact he has now opened himself up even further to civil lawsuits by essentially pleading guilty though a plea bargain. 

I can’t help but wander how much differently the situation would have been handled had it been a player involved in the skirmish as opposed to the head coach. With this admission of guilt, Kennedy deserves to be punished by the university and the NCAA. 

If they make a movie of this, I hope Michael Chiklis gets the role of Andy Kennedy.

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Posted in Andy Kennedy, Crime & Punishment, Kimber Kennedy, Lawsuit, ole miss rebels, SEC Basketball, SEC Coaches | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

What a shocker. Calipari tricks everyone and says the grass isn’t greener in Kentucky after all!

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 1, 2009

calipari

In a shocking turn of events it appears that John Calipari is not headed to Kentucky after all. Apparently ESPN who has popularized erroneous reporting in the past strikes again! However Calipari is indeed leaving Memphis but instead of selling his soul to Kentucky he has elected to save his soul by coaching the Nu Delt Society at Bob Jones University.

Bob Jones University (BJU) is a private, Protestant fundamentalist, liberal arts university in Greenville, South Carolina. It is the largest private liberal arts university in South Carolina and has a reputation for being one of the most conservative of religious schools in the United States.

Strict rules govern student life at BJU.  Some of these are based directly on the University’s interpretation of the Bible. For instance, rules include the requirement that freshman and sophomore resident hall students sign out before leaving campus and that all resident hall students abide by curfew. Students are forbidden to go to movie theaters or listen to contemporary popular music.  Men are required to wear ties and conservative hairstyles, and facial hair is prohibited. Women are expected to dress modestly and wear knee-length dresses to class and religious services.

The specifics of the BJU contract is unknown at this time however it’s doubtful that it will match the Kentucky contract that was believed to be the richest in college basketball. Sources close to the situation believe that L.A. Law (1993-94) character Jane Halliday, played by Alexandra Powers, who was a graduate of Bob Jones University was the turning point in Calipari’s decision.

Even though that Bob Jones Jr. once said that Catholicism was:

“Not another Christian denomination. It is a satanic counterfeit, an ecclesiastic tyranny over the souls of men….It is the old harlot of the book of the Revelation-‘the Mother of Harlots.'”

He seems ecstatic to have made this monumental hire.

Despite their perceived differences, Pitino has little doubt Calipari will be a great fit at BJU.

“He’s done a great job at UMass. He’s done a great job at Memphis and he would have done a great job at Kentucky but the Phi Beta society at BJU better watch their watch ass cause he’s bringing the pain to them next season,” Pitino said Tuesday.

This most recent move leaves both Memphis and Kentucky scrambling for coaches. It’s believed that Memphis will make a run at famed NBA player and ex-Knicks coach Isiah Thomas and while Kentucky is believed to be making plans to resurrect the body of Adolph Rupp.

Kentucky AD, Mitch Barnhart was quoted as saying:

“Enough with the tomfoolery! Bring out the Rupp!”

ESPN 100 top recruit Xavier Henry isn’t going to Memphis now that Calipari is going to BJU. He has reopened his recruitment but a source close to him said:

“He might go to BJU. He likes God and shit.”

Either which way let’s hope this works out for everyone in the end. Happy April Fools Day!

Posted in Adolph Rupp, Isiah Thomas, John Calipari, Kentucky Wildcats, Memphis Tigers, Rick Pitino, SEC Basketball | Tagged: , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Vaya Con Dios, Billy Clyde

Posted by Joel Jackson on March 30, 2009

billy-clyde-gillispie

Last year, I wrote a piece on Kentucky basketball and their lack of NBA lottery picks the past few years. Anytime we have posted about Kentucky basketball, it is highly read by some Wildcat fans. This post was different though. This one was picked up by a Wildcat blog, and by the time I got off of work, there were 96 comments that were left on the posting. 110 total comments would be posted. Thomas and the Moderator were amazed and pissed at the same time, and frustration over sensitive Wildcat fans invading the place set in. Some of the favorite comments were:

Wow! I love me some jealous, unclassy, can’t look at your own coach’s immoral personal life, still looking for that elusive elite eight, Tennessee Volunteers! Whoa!!!! The round of 16! Everyone come to UT: Where we guarantee mediocrity!-Kyle

I don’t discount your point about the name of the arena being racist. But the rest of your “point” is off to say the least! You are talking about UK not having any players drafted in the lottery, but UT hasn’t even had any players drafted in Pearl’s time. By the way Hopson didn’t leave UK’s program.

Jealousy will not get you anywhere when it comes to recruiting. So now recruiting an 8th grader gets you compared to R.Kelley sexual assault? You should be ashamed of yourself for such a statement. Than again I shouldn’t be surprised, I’ve read your “writing” before!-Jack

1st Round NCAA Tourney exit = Back-to-back bowl bids to ritzy Shreveport.-3rd Down H Back

UK built SEC basketball the same way Alabama built SEC football.

So in response to all of the commentators, I wrote this piece in response to all of the comments. Didn’t really matter though, Wildcat fans were pissed, and even a Pulitzer prize winning journalist (I think) by the name of John Clay of the prestigious (wait, let me get this right) Lexington Herald-Ledger chimed in. Side note: I am still waiting on a response from this Peabody award winning journalist to the e-mail that I sent him.

To all of you Wildcat fans who said that Kentucky was back and happy days were here again, let me just say…

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, good luck in trying to get the sexy name coach. Donovan and Wright have already turned you down. Calipari has a LOADED recruiting class coming in and has FedEx and International Paper money paying his high salary. Anthony Grant, a really good coach, was already snatched up by Alabama. The fact remains that Kentucky, for all of its glitzy facilities and rabid fanbase, will have to really overpay for its next head coach, which means you might have a shot at Cal, but doubtful. Seriously, who would want to coach with reporters like this???


Posted in Billy Clyde, Billy Donovan, Billy Gillispie, College Basketball, Fail, Kentucky Wildcats, SEC, SEC Basketball, SEC Coaches, Sports | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Kimber Kennedy must prove her loss of consortium

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 12, 2009

con·sor·tium (kən sôrtē əm; -sôrs̸hē əm, -s̸həm)

noun pl. -·tia—ə

  1. a partnership or association; specif.,
    1. a temporary alliance of two or more business firms in a common venture
    2. an international banking agreement or association
  2. Law the companionship and support provided by marriage, including the right of each spouse to receive this from the other

Now that you know what the definition of consortium is let’s hope Kimber Kennedy knows as well and has the ability to prove it. But first a recap.

On December 18th of last year Ole Miss head Basketball Coach Andy Kennedy was arrested for alledgidy assaulting a Cincinnati taxi driver. A video of the inicedent has been released in which Kennedy attempts to bring the United Nations into the matter by telling the police officier that this could be an “international inident.” The exchange during the arrest prompted the greatest line ever spoken by a Cinncinati police officer ever.

“You think we’ve never arrested somebody that’s made national media? … We deal with the Bengals all the time.”

Shortly thereafter Kimber Kennedy, Andy’s spouse, filed a lawsuit against the taxi driver and his witness claiming the this whole mess has been so stressful that Andy can not perform his husbandly duties. Meaning Andy just can’t take it to the hole anymore.

Now according the attorneys of the taxi driver, Kimber must prove the “loss of consortium” claim.

“Kennedy amended his civil suit against them when his wife said she deserved damages from the cabbie and valet because the incident had caused the couple a “loss of consortium” and damaged their marriage. But if Kennedy and his wife contend his December assault arrest ruined their personal life, they’re going to have to prove it with medical documents, say attorneys for the cab driver.”

No I’m not a doctor but I play one on this blog so at the risk of offending some readers out there, I’ll volunteer to help Kimber get her groove back. I can hop in my car and be there in a matter of hours. Hold on, Kimber. Eventually, I’ll be coming.

I truly wish I could there for this trial, I can see the entered evidene now:

  • Exhibit A: A receipt for 50 AA batteries and a ‘muscle massager.’
  • Exhibit B: Kimber rips open her blouse and shouts “Your honor, THESE have not been sucked since the incident!”
  • Exhibit C: A video of the couple NOT having sex

Unfortunately I can’t help but believe that there will be a legal document in the future containing the words “forceps”, “knock”, and “dust off”. I’m betting Kimber is hoping for a stiff penalty to be handed out for this crime.

I bet this suit is doing wonders for recruiting.

Posted in Andy Kennedy, Cincinnati, Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, Kimber Kennedy, Lawsuit, ole miss rebels, SEC Basketball, SEC Coaches | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

Maybe Andy Kennedy should have punched a Cleveland cabbie in the face instead

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 3, 2009

On December 18th ’08 Ole Miss Basketball coach, Andy Kennedy, was arrested for allegedly assaulting a Cincinnati taxi driver. Shortly thereafter Kennedy filed a deformation of character suit against the cab driver and his witness. Of course the stress & anxiety of all these events have left Kennedy unable to perform his “husbandly duties” for which his spouse filed her own lawsuit against the cabbie and his witness. I personally think her milkshake went sour and Kennedy was cheating on her and she found out…thus ultimate revenge.

If you thought things couldn’t get worse for Kennedy, especially after his wife proclaimed he was getting “soft”, then you’re mistaken. What does every police in this country have other than a radio? That’s right…a dash camera and voice recorder, let the festivities begin!

WLWT-TV, a television station in Cincinnati obtained the video footage of the arrest. I tried to post the video here but VodPod won’t allow me, however I did link to it.

The video shows Kennedy pleading not to be arrested because he’s famous and stuff. Here is some of the video translated.

popokennedy

“I’m here for the Big East SEC challenge,” Kennedy was heard saying on the video, WLWT reports. “I’m playing Louisville and Rick Pitino tomorrow. I was the UC head coach. I am going to be on national television. If I’m not standing there at 9 p.m. tomorrow, this is an international altercation.”

Wow…name dropping and attempting to involve the United Nations by claiming this could be an international altercation, isn’t exactly the best way to appease the officer. I personally hate name droppers. (Dick Vitale I’m speaking at you buddy) This also marks the first time a non-prostitute tried to get out of being arrested by mentioning Rick Pitino.

“I’m begging you. I’m looking at you. Please look at me. This is…this is a major deal man,” Kennedy pleaded, according to WLWT.

“I understand, sir, but if I don’t do this, I could lose my job,” said the officer.

“It’s not worth it. Please trust me. Please trust me on this. This is going to be a national incident, sir,” continued Kennedy.

“Sir, everything you’re saying right now is being recorded,” replied the officer.

“No, I understand that,” said Kennedy.

Yes judges always look favorable on people who try to talk the police out of doing their jobs.

However the next sentence out of the officer’s mouth is perhaps the greatest sentence a Cincinnati police officer has EVER uttered.

“You think we’ve never arrested somebody that’s made national media? …We deal with the Bengals all the time,” said the officer.

Boo-Yah!!!!  Absolute comic genius there!!!!

This cop is lucky this incident didn’t take place near Chappaquiddick, where the Kennedys are impervious to the law. Here’s hoping the Cincy cop’s wife doesn’t sue for lack of sex like Kennedy’s wife did.

Posted in Andy Kennedy, Cincinnati, court tv, Lawsuit, ole miss rebels, SEC Basketball, SEC Coaches | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Andy Kennedy has lost that loving feeling

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 20, 2009

You may recall that not to long ago Mississippi Basketball Coach Andy Kennedy was arrested for allegedly for putting a beat on some Cincinnati taxi cab driver. Since then Kennedy has strongly denied this claims and even went to far as to file a deformation of character law suit against the driver and his witness.

When he filed this lawsuit my first impression was “Good because I don’t blame him.” Now this case has taken a stranger turn. It seems that the litigation involving this case has caused him so much undue stress that he can not perform his husbandly duties that involve his wife, Kimber.

Kimber alleges that when she boxed out, Andy wouldn’t post up. Meaning Andy just can’t take it to the hole anymore.

Wait a Kennedy with a libido problem why that’s unnatural! So unnatural that she has filed suit against the cab driver and his “witness”, some valet-driver.

“Kennedy’s wife sued that cab driver and a valet driver who backed his claims to police and the media, saying their accusations had harmed the couple’s personal relationship, including their sex life.

Kennedy, who was in Cincinnati as the head coach for the University of Mississippi, was charged Dec. 18 with misdemeanor assault after police said he punched cabbie Mohamed Jiddou while shouting racial slurs at him after leaving a downtown bar.”

The think this case is brilliant legal maneuver! If this works then I’m signing up for E-Harmony and if I don’t get laid, then buddy watch out because I’m so suing them!!!

Of course there’s always the possibility that Kimber’s milkshake doesn’t bring Andy to her yard anymore or maybe Andy just can’t “get up” for games anymore. Talk about the coach making her ride the pine…sheesh.

I see a sponsorship from Cialis in the near future.

Posted in Andy Kennedy, Cialis, legal troubles, ole miss rebels, SEC Basketball | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

Finally ESPN gets Something Right

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 17, 2008

Well here is a pleasant ESPY awards spoiler for you fellow Vols to chew on.

Candace Parker was selected overall female athlete of the year and female college athlete of the year. She led our beloved Tennessee Vols to a second consecutive NCAA national championship and then went on to become the WNBA’s No. 1 draft pick and going to the Los Angeles Sparks.

“I’m just excited I got to meet David Beckham,” said Parker, who received her trophy from the English superstar. “I grew up playing soccer, so I love David Beckham. I was thinking, ‘Don’t trip, don’t trip.’ He’s truly an inspiration.”

Coaching legend Pat Summitt, who won her eighth NCAA championship as coach of our beloved Lady Vols, was named coach-manager of the year. She beat out Terry Francona of my beloved Boston Red Sox, Tom Coughlin of the New York Giants and Doc Rivers of the Boston Celtics thus proving she can take on the professional coaches.

The Lady Vols also won an ESPY for top women’s collegiate team.

Of course this whole retarded event will not be aired until this Sunday at 9:00 PM EST. I’ll be watching the Deadliest Catch.

GO VOLS! 🙂

Posted in Big Orange, Candace Parker, ESPN, Go Vols, Pat Summitt, SEC, SEC Basketball, Tennessee Volunteers | 2 Comments »

Good Lord Wildcat Fans, Cool Your Jets

Posted by Joel Jackson on June 29, 2008

When I wrote this article, I knew it would get a reaction. NEVER did I think it would get this type of reaction, although similar posts about Kentucky basketball have gotten much more traffic than anything else. With that said, instead of responding to every comment, I will post this and let the chips fall where they may…

Regarding my name and avatar, my real name is Joel. I chose to post under my own name because I am my own person. I understand why someone would want to have a different username, but not me. Nothing worng with it in my opinion, but that is how I roll. I chose to use The Pyramid Arena in Memphis because I am a proud native Memphian. I am also proud to be from the great state of Tennessee. Even though I attended Tennessee State University in Nashville (after deciding not to attend Columbia University, Brown University, Morehouse college, or the University of North Carolina, all offering academic scholarships while I was in high school), I still support all things Volunteer and all things regarding Memphis Tiger basketball. Equally, on this site, I have personally made fun of both. Examples of me making fun of Tiger basketball can be found here, here, and here. I do live and die Memphis Tiger basketball, despite the recent heartbreak of the title game and lack of national titles (unlike Kentucky). A few of my favorite posts of satire of Tennessee can be found here, here, and here. There have been other things that we have touched upon, including West Virginia football, Alabama, and the Miami Dolphins during their “run” to futility. Check out the “April Fool’s Day” page .The original and still current mantra of this blog is “A Sports Blog On Why ALL Teams Suck”. It just so happened that I did one on Kentucky, and things went bat shit. Of course, I was hoping people to understand sarcasm but I guess I expected too much.

First off, I do actually work during the day and I am not around a computer until I get home. So if you are pissy about anything I have written, cool it until later in the evening. I am not some snot nosed college kid or an unemployed bum watching Judge Judy and ESPN First Take all day.

Second, the only mistake I made (I feel) is making the title “Wanna be an NBA Player???” It was intended to sarcastically point out that Kentucky hasn’t had an NBA lottery player in a long time and a first round player drafted in a few years. That is a fact, as confirmed by John Clay of the Lexington Herald Ledger (he even called my work crude. I feel honored). But some of you Kentucky fans pointed out how Rajon Rondo just won an NBA championship with Boston and Tayshaun Prince has just been named to the Olympic team. Kudos. The fact of the matter is that Rondo was on a great team and while point guard is an important position, Paul Pierce handled the ball more than any other Celtic during the title run. Thomas the Terrible could have run point guard and the Celtics were still going to win it all. As for Prince, while he has been a valued member of the Pistons, there is no way I would have picked him over Tyson Chandler, Amare Stoudamire, Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett, or even Paul Pierce. I am not the only one of this opinion.

Here is the bigger issue though: What is the real reason for the swarm of reaction??? Is it because the fanbase of Kentucky basketball is that fragile??? Or, did the truth really hurt??? Let’s look at these two questions.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Adolph Rupp, alcoholics, All SEC Teams Beware!!, ass chewing, Ass Whipping, basketball, Billy Clyde, Billy Gillispie, boo birds, boosters, cat killer, classless, College Basketball, crazy, Cry Baby, ESPN, Fights, Kentucky Wildcats, NCAA, satire, SEC, SEC Basketball, SEC Coaches, Sports | Tagged: , | 20 Comments »

Wanna Be An NBA Player??? Here Is NOT Where To Play

Posted by Joel Jackson on June 27, 2008

I finally get some time to put up a post and it just so happens to be right after the 1st round of the NBA Draft . Then something came over me: Our favorite overrated, elitist, ass backwards, and drunken coached team from the SEC didn’t have a player drafted in the 1st round. This makes the second year in a row that a Kentucky player was not drafted in the 1st round, and continues the 11 year streak since a Wildcat player was picked in the lottery.

Oh don’t worry Wildcat fan. I know where to place the blame. It was “10 Loss” Tubby’s fault. He was too busy making sure he ran a clean program, free of racism (unlike the arena named after the “great” Rupp), and made sure that he didn’t hit the Wild Turkey bottle and try to drive home from the bar. He just simply didn’t have time to recruit players who would be developed into NBA talent.

Leave it to Billy Clyde Gilispie to recruit like a mother. He has already scored top 10 talent of all ages. He will take Kentucky back to single digit losses in just a few short years, as soon as his 8th grade recruits start arriving to Lexington. Too bad he said he was gonna stop recruiting young kids. Rumor is that he had planned to recruit Chicago next week while school is out for the summer. R. Kelly was gonna show him where all the hot spots were to get top talent, before Mr. Kelly got some talent of his own. Of course, knowing Billy Clyde’s track record, he’ll be gone quicker than you can say “Nick Saban”. It’s all good anyway, the best coach in the state left you back in the 90’s and now coaches your in-state rival.

So, for all of the Derrick Jasper’s, Scotty Hopson’s, and (insert latest player’s name to leave the Kentucky program here) of the world, things will be ok. You will make it to the NBA Draft Lottery, because you never put on the Wildcat uniform.

Let’s hear Tim Brando spin another year of Kentucky mediocrity…

Posted in Adolph Rupp, alcoholics, All SEC Teams Beware!!, bad drivers, basketball, Billy Clyde, Billy Gillispie, boosters, cat killer, College Basketball, Cry Baby, Dead Drunk, draft pick, drunk, DUI, ESPN, Evil Empire, Kentucky Wildcats, Liar, Louisville, Louisville Cardinals, NBA, NCAA, satire, SEC, SEC Basketball, SEC Coaches, Sports | Tagged: , , , | 110 Comments »

The Idiocity of the Florida Justice System Strikes Again

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 29, 2008

People say professional athletes are treated special when the Po Po & the courts are involved and for the most part that really isn’t true when you look at the sentences of normal people verses athletes. Then there’s Florida….

Sunday was a busy day for the People’s Princess Joakim Noah. Hours after being arrested and charged with marijuana and alcohol offenses, the Bulls’ center was issued two traffic citations by University of Florida police.

According to the Gainesville Sun, campus police stopped a speeding Hummer driven by Noah and eventually issued citations for driving with a suspended license without knowledge and for not wearing a seat belt.

Why was his license suspended in the first place? Looks like the NBA has their own little Pacman.

Now if it was me, Joel or any number of people caught driving on a suspended license we would go directly to jail without passing go and collecting two hundred dollars.

Nothing like weed, beer, and a speeding Hummer to make the chicks or in your case male Gates think you’re sexy! Not very good judgments there buddy.

The stop occurred at around 7:20 p.m. Sunday, later around 1:50 a.m., Gainesville Po Po issued notices for Noah to make a June court appearance after stopping Noah for carrying an alcoholic beverage in a plastic cup on a public sidewalk and later finding marijuana in his pants pocket.

Now if all this happened to me I’m sure I would be bailed out awaiting trial. But this is the People’s Princess we’re talking about here. Noah accepted a deferred prosecution agreement Wednesday in his marijuana possession case, resulting in six months’ probation and a $200 fine.

Ouch what a hefty fine. (Note the sarcasm because I’m laying it on rather thick)

The charges will be dropped in six months if Noah meets the terms of his probation.

Noah also must pay $206 in traffic fines for two citations he received Sunday on the University of Florida campus.

Again most people are arrested and booked when caught driving with a suspended license and the fines, for the most part, are considerably higher. Maybe the judicial system thought better of placing Noah in custody since he already looks like a prison bitch without actually having been to prison. After all he might get violated; then again can a willing soul be violated?

Florida coach Billy Donovan and Eddie Munster look-a-like told the Gainesville Sun that he talked to Noah.

“He’s realized he made a mistake,” Donovan told the newspaper. “I want to see what happens with everything that went on there. In my conversation with him, he feels bad.

“The thing I’ve tried to talk to him about is there are so many young kids who look up to him, and he’s such a giving kid and he’s always given his time. He needs to turn this into a positive and being able to help young kids because he has a great opportunity to really help a lot of people. I told him to try to turn this into a positive because he’s got enough of a personality that he can do that.”

There are mistakes and there are people who think they are above the law. Am I really supposed to believe that some careless athlete who can’t find a taxi or a friend to drive him, and does other illegal activities “feels bad” about it. I’m willing to bet he is smoking weed right now.

Remember I still need “bail” money!!! Click here for details.

Posted in Billy Donovan, Chicago Bulls, drugs, Florida Gators, Florida Sucks, Gator Gangsters, Joakim Noah, NBA, SEC Basketball | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »