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It’s time to kick off the 2009 Big Orange Roundtable

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 14, 2009

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What you think one bad season was going to break-up the mighty roundtable? To that I say HA! <flips you the bird>

Before we begin I would like to welcome out newest Big Orange Roundtable members to the brotherhood: Vol Junkies, Pigskin Pathos & Bleeding Orange welcome aboard!

For those that aren’t familiar with the Roundtable I’m going to quote Moondog because he’s cool like that.

For those of you not familiar with the roundtable, each week leading up to the start of the season one of the participating sites will serve as the host, asking questions for the other members of the roundtable to answer.

As the week progresses and the member web sites answer the questions, we’ll post a link to their responses. This year nine sites will be discussing every aspect of the upcoming season and for Volunteer fans, it’s a great opportunity to present your views.

In addition to MoonDog Sports, the Big Orange Roundtable consists of the 3rd Saturday in Blogtober, Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain, Vol Junkies, Pigskin Pathos, Rocky Top Talk, Bleeding Orange, Gate 21 and Losers With Socks.

At the end of the week after all of the sites have had a chance to respond, the host site will post a review with the best answers to the week’s questions.

We’re less than two months from Football Time in Tennessee so let’s get this year’s version of the Big Orange Roundtable kicked off.

Moondog and his awesome site, MoonDogSports.com, are the first blog to host the Big Orange Roundtable. Let’s see the questions he has for us.

  1. In my mind, this season’s success — or failure — centers around one man, Jonathan Crompton. What is your opinion of Crompton’s ability to run Lane Kiffin’s pro-style offense? Can Crompton overcome his miserable 2008 season and lead the Vols to a winning record?

If Crompton can be the Crompton who played extremely well while filling in for Erik Ainge a few years ago then he should fine. However that being said I’m not like some of us who believe he will have a breakout season because he won’t. Crompton is not smart enough to be a great QB. I’m sorry but it’s true, but he does have the tools physically.

Crompton09

Trust me the caveman might be smarter

The story is that last year the Clawson offense was confusing and the players were not the right fit for it. From what I saw in the spring game, King Kiffin® has simplified the offense and kept it simple. (I’m sure Crompton is thankful for that.) Crompton was productive in the spring game and Stephens was also productive.

I believe Crompton can lead the VOLS to a winning record but not by himself. There will have to be a lot of hand holding on Kiffin’s part for Crompton to succeed. If Crompton doesn’t succeed then for the love of God, yank him and put Stephens in.

  1. Last season, the kicking game was mediocre at best, and the special teams — especially the punt coverage unit — was a disaster. Daniel Lincoln returns as the kicker and Chad Cunningham will return as the punter. What are you thoughts about the Vols kicking game and special teams?

The main reason I believe the kicking game was in disarray is because some former coach <cough Phil Fulmer cough> didn’t believe in having a special teams coach. Well that’s been rectified. With the addition of Eddie Gran more time can be spent on special teams and with the kickers. I believe this to be a major factor and I believe that Lincoln Logs and Cunningham will be just fine this coming season.

  1. Tennessee’s offensive line was thought to be a strength in 2008, but like the rest of the offensive unit, didn’t perform well. What are your thoughts regarding the offensive line for 2009?

First let me start that last year our offensive line couldn’t block their way out of a Gymboree. I know this might sound like a cop out but again I think Clawson had something to do with this. I know offensive linemen are considered to be smarter than other players but after looking at some of the schemes from year I believe some bio chemists couldn’t figure what he wanted to run.

I believe this year the line should be much improved which will also help in other areas of the game such as QB and the running game.

  1. Tennessee finished 5-7 last season, a huge disappointment for a team expected to perform much better. How do you believe the Vols will finish in 2009?

Eight & four. We will lose to Bama, Florida, Ole Piss and Georgia. We should win the rest of our games hands down. For once we have an easy schedule with only four road games.

That’s it for this weeks Roundtable be sure to check the other blogs to see their answers to these questions.

3rd Saturday in Blogtober

MoonDogSports.com

Vol Junkies

Pigskin Pathos

Rocky Top Talk

Bleeding Orange

Gate 21

Loser With Socks

Posted in cromptonites, King Kiffin, Lane Kiffin, Rocky Top, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, The Big Orange Roundtable | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Bama to give up 21 wins

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 12, 2009

001AlabamaFan

Alabama football will be forced to give up 21 wins from the 2005-07 seasons. Does that really hurt? No, not really. In all 16 athletic programs and 201 athletes were involved in a textbook scam. 

Five players were suspended from the team in 2007 after it was revealed that they used their scholarship benefits to gain free textbooks for other students. Officials were immediately suspicious when athletes decided to pick up any textbooks at all.  However, since the violations allegedly started in 2005, any victory from those three seasons that those players participated in would have to be vacated. The school will also be on the never ending probation for three years and have to pay a fine. 

Vacating wins means absolutely nothing. It doesn’t take back the booster money or tickets sales that those wins generated. The only true way to hurt a school is to take away scholarships, and the NCAA will not be doing that, even though Alabama is a multiple repeat offender. This particular offense is very minor and so is the punishment, even if the NCAA probably wants you to think otherwise. 

Mike Price is celebrating by heading to the strip club…”Roll Tide, right coach?”

“It’s rolling, baby!”

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, cheaters, classless, Fuck Bama, NCAA Rules Violation, Nick Saban, SEC | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Playboy’s Top 10 party schools

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 23, 2009

After this picture was taken, Howie Long chastised Jimmy Johnson for using a "man hand protector" while drinking his beer.

Just what every parent needs to know: Playboy magazine’s top 10 party schools. Coming in at #1 is the University of Miami. 

”I’ve been to the University of Michigan and that UM is crazy…[W]e rarely have parties on campus. We just go to ones that are more exclusive.” [Miami Herald

Michigan students party to blackout their school’s performance on the football field.

Here is a complete list of the schools: 

1 – University of Miami 
2 – University of Texas at Austin 
3 – San Diego State University 
4 – University of Florida 
5 – University of Arizona 
6 – University of Wisconsin at Madison 
7 – University of Georgia 
8 – Louisiana State University 
9 - University of Iowa
10 – West Virginia University 

And here is the list with pictures is case Jerrell Powe is attempting to read this.

Posted in ACC, Beer Pong, big 10, Big 12, Big East, Jerrell Powe, Miami hurricanes, Pac 10, Party Schools, Playboy Magazine, SEC | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Grading the Tennessee Vols spring game

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 20, 2009

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Due to the overwhelming interest in Coach “Visor-Boy 2.0″ Kiffin’s first year as the Tennessee football, I’ve decided to issue a report card for the annual spring game. Whether the grades pan out during regular season play will remain to be seen. 

Quarterbacks: C 

In an alternate universe Crompton won the Heisman last year. However we live and breathe in this universe. Crompton has lost some weight and appears more mobile but he is still bobbling snaps and throwing interceptions. For someone that is coming wrist surgery junior Nick “Ginger Haired Warrior” looked average but that could be a good sign and Nick “Huge Hands” Stephens looked uptight and anxious. No QB could get into a rhythm but that isn’t their fault after all this is the spring game we’re talking about. 

Running Backs: A 

Creer who? Hardesty looked sharp amd Poole proved he will be a factor in the new offensive system. Toney Williams emerged as a surprisingly fast power back. Let’s not forget there are two special running backs coming in the summer as well. 

Receivers: B- 

Gerald Jones is back and looked good even with a sore hand. Hancock proved to be a great practice player however that needs to show up in the fall. Denarius Moore and Brandon Warren closed strong. Of course Stocker dropped a sure touchdown it wouldn’t be a game with a dropped pass by Stocker. 

Offensive Line: C- 

While the Vols ran the ball well, pass protection was still an issue. Jarrod Shaw and Cody Pope (who id from my old stomping grounds of Greenville, SC) are fighting for a starting spot but neither could set themselves apart from one another. Cody Sullins is the big surprise. Let’s hope it translates to game play. 

Defensive Line: A 

Chris Walker is a beast and Monton Hughes is a special player. Expect great things from this group in the season. 

Linebackers: C- 

Rico McCoy shall shine even brighter this year. 

Defensive Backs: C 

It’s hard to tell how this group will truly do. Brent Vinson didn’t play because of a recent shoulder surgery and Berry is recovering from a shoulder surgery. However Raines and Dennis Rogan are improving in great strides. This group would have earned a high grade if Berry and Vinson were healthy. 

Special Teams: C- 

They ain’t looking so special. Daniel Lincoln Logs is struggling with consistency however punter Cunningham is looking better. 

Coaches Spouse: A+ 

ven though I didn’t see her I’m sure Layla Kiffin is the only woman I know who has mysterious background music (Pretty Woman Van Halen’s version) playing everywhere she goes.

Posted in coach o, GBO, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, King Kiffin, Layla Kiffin, SEC, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Vaya Con Dios, Billy Clyde

Posted by Joel on March 30, 2009

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Last year, I wrote a piece on Kentucky basketball and their lack of NBA lottery picks the past few years. Anytime we have posted about Kentucky basketball, it is highly read by some Wildcat fans. This post was different though. This one was picked up by a Wildcat blog, and by the time I got off of work, there were 96 comments that were left on the posting. 110 total comments would be posted. Thomas and the Moderator were amazed and pissed at the same time, and frustration over sensitive Wildcat fans invading the place set in. Some of the favorite comments were:

Wow! I love me some jealous, unclassy, can’t look at your own coach’s immoral personal life, still looking for that elusive elite eight, Tennessee Volunteers! Whoa!!!! The round of 16! Everyone come to UT: Where we guarantee mediocrity!-Kyle

I don’t discount your point about the name of the arena being racist. But the rest of your “point” is off to say the least! You are talking about UK not having any players drafted in the lottery, but UT hasn’t even had any players drafted in Pearl’s time. By the way Hopson didn’t leave UK’s program.

Jealousy will not get you anywhere when it comes to recruiting. So now recruiting an 8th grader gets you compared to R.Kelley sexual assault? You should be ashamed of yourself for such a statement. Than again I shouldn’t be surprised, I’ve read your “writing” before!-Jack

1st Round NCAA Tourney exit = Back-to-back bowl bids to ritzy Shreveport.-3rd Down H Back

UK built SEC basketball the same way Alabama built SEC football.

So in response to all of the commentators, I wrote this piece in response to all of the comments. Didn’t really matter though, Wildcat fans were pissed, and even a Pulitzer prize winning journalist (I think) by the name of John Clay of the prestigious (wait, let me get this right) Lexington Herald-Ledger chimed in. Side note: I am still waiting on a response from this Peabody award winning journalist to the e-mail that I sent him.

To all of you Wildcat fans who said that Kentucky was back and happy days were here again, let me just say…

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, good luck in trying to get the sexy name coach. Donovan and Wright have already turned you down. Calipari has a LOADED recruiting class coming in and has FedEx and International Paper money paying his high salary. Anthony Grant, a really good coach, was already snatched up by Alabama. The fact remains that Kentucky, for all of its glitzy facilities and rabid fanbase, will have to really overpay for its next head coach, which means you might have a shot at Cal, but doubtful. Seriously, who would want to coach with reporters like this???


Posted in Billy Clyde, Billy Donovan, Billy Gillispie, College Basketball, Fail, Kentucky Wildcats, SEC, SEC Basketball, SEC Coaches, Sports | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

The question is: Did it taste like chicken?

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 30, 2009

As I mentioned in an earlier posting, spring is here, the pollen count is up and more South Carolina Gamecocks are being arrested and/or suspended. 

The latest victim…err….perpetrator is fullback Dustyn McElroy. The Po Po says that the 22 year-old was getting his St. Patrick’s drink on at a bar called the Village Idiot in the dreaded Five Points area of Columbia. While there at the Idiot, this moron is involved in an altercation where his Hannibal Lecter shown through and he bit…yes bit another man on the face. 

I have to ask: Did he taste like chicken? I mean really. According to the report, when a man tried to break up the fight, McElroy placed him in a “bear hug” and bit him on the left cheek, causing a “severe facial laceration.” 

Apparently McElroy wasn’t satisfied with the taste of human flesh and then decide to punch & shatter a storefront window of an art gallery that is adjacent to the Village Idiot.

Michael Jeffcoat, McElroy’s attorney, claims McElroy acted in self-defense after seven men jumped him on the sidewalk outside the bar.

“He’d been attacked by seven guys and he just wanted to get away,” Jeffcoat said. “They jumped on him and he didn’t have any choice but to defend himself.”

I have to agree. I know that if I was jumped by numerous people I would have to punch a storefront window. That’s in the Chuck Norris self defense manual. 

This isn’t the first time McElroy has been in trouble with the law, he pleaded guilty in November to a previous charge of assault and battery of a high and aggravated nature, and was sentenced to 18 months probation.

Posted in Crime & Punishment, dumbass, Fights, Five Points, SEC, South Carolina Gamecocks, Taste like chicken, Village Idiot | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The University of Florida wants to honor their jort wearing zombie boosters

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 5, 2009

Remember Jamar Hornsby? He was the Florida Gator player who stole the ATM card from a dead student and used it numerous times. Well, now the University of Florida wants to make it easier to steal from dead people by building a graveyard right on the campus.

Must not make burial at sea joke… must not make burial at sea joke…

According to officials at Florida they receive multiple requests from jort wearing fans that want their ashes spread onto the field and/or to be buried on the campus. So in order to this and of course turn a profit they want to charge alumni $3,000 to $5,000 to store their remains there for all eternity or until Tim Tebow ascends to heaven.

Now it’ll be a little easier to approach the Gators in Heaven.

“We feel like it would be meeting a need. I can’t tell you how many people call,” said Katie Marquis, the university’s alumni association director of membership and marketing.”

They want to start out by building something called a columbarium which is a fancy way of saying fireplace mantle but there is a problem the university doesn’t meet the state requirements for starting their own cemetery.

Of course the state legislature who happens to be filled which jort wearing Florida grads is working on a bill that would grant state schools special dispensation, so that they might better address the needs of boosters.

The first two burials will be the careers of Rex Grossman and Danny Wuerffel followed by Joakim Noah.

Of course if the bill fails the fallback plan closely mirrors the end of Temple Of Doom.

A remake of “Left for Dead” starring Tim Tebow, Jokim Noah Steve Spurrier and Erin Andrews is hopefully in the cards.

Posted in Florida Gators, Gator Gangsters, Gator mafia, SEC | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

Good God Please Help Save the Lizards, Feed an Auburn Fan

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 5, 2009

This video is wrong on so many levels even without the lizard. Do you see what Auburn fans have been reduced to since the hiring of Gene Chizik? However eating a lizard is still smarter than firing Tubs for Chizik.

I always thought lizards were reasonably low-cal, but clearly Martha dump truck has downed quite a few.

Her New Year’s resolution is to switch to Diet Mountain Dew.

Billy Bob Bammer has responded to this video by saying “Oh yeah? Well, well, I can eat an Iguana! Wanna see? You just fucking wait!”

Posted in Auburn, Crazy Women, SEC, Skank, War Eagle | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Broken Plays: Happy 2009 Edition

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 2, 2009

sany0308

Woo hoo 2009 is here and you know what means right? It means you put the past behind you and look to the future.

Welcome to Tennessee Coach 0, I sure have missed you. That’s right folks I’m going to have to get Cajun man out of retirement because Coach 0 has left the Saints while snubbing LSU and joined King Kiffin’s staff at Tennessee. All this of course means I have new ammo to make fun of my favorite team.

Yaw yaw Go Vols yaw.

Welcome back Cajun Man

I’m gonna leave this blog…and when I get back I’m not gonna have a shirt on….and the rest of you (*&%$%*^s better have their shirt off too…and if anyone in this %*&^*^% room thinks they can take me…then BRING IT!!!

wOw…sOrry…I think I just blacked Out…did I just say sOmething?

See? That was easy!

Congrats to Jerod Mayo former Tennessee defensive God and this years NFL Defensive Rookie of the year!!!

The former University of Tennessee standout was a nearly unanimous choice, earning 49 of 50 votes Wednesday from a nationwide panel of sports writers and broadcasters who cover the league.

Sir Charles Barkley’s political aspirations aren’t starting off as well as he would have liked.

As most of you know he was cited for a DUI on New Years Eve but now there are something rather interesting circumstances surrounding this situation.

The Smoking Gun has the full report:

According to the officer who wrote the report, “He told me that he ran the stop sign because he was in a hurry to pick up the girl I saw get in the passenger seat.”

The officer continues: “He asked me to admit that she was ‘hot.’ He asked me, ‘You want the truth?’ When I told him I did he said, ‘I was gonna drive around the corner and get a b**w job. He then explained that she had given him a ‘b**w job’ one week earlier and said it was the best one he had ever had in his life.”

The report says when Barkley was taken to the station, he told one of the employees, “I’ll tattoo my name on your ass” if he helped “get him out of the DUI.” According to the report, “He laughed and then quickly corrected himself and said, ‘I’ll tattoo your name on my ass’ and then laughed again.”

Well that would explain the sweatiness in the mug shot. The old “blow job around the corner” trick, been there tried that. Nice try Sir Charles.

But everyone wants to know it the same “girl” Eddie Murphy picked up a bunch of years ago?

Denver fires Mike Shanahan and yet Norv Turner will most likely remain employed this year. I like Mike Shanahan but I see it was time for him to go after 13 seasons and 2 super bowl victories.

Is it me or does he look like a zombie in the photo below?

Posted in Charles Barkley, coach o, Denver Broncos, DUI, Ed Orgeron, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, SEC, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Bama Fans make the Best Prostitutes (If you equate best to skanky)

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 19, 2008

Police in Montgomery, Alabama took down a prostitution ring yesterday that netted 7 sluts and 3 white trash pimps. Good job!

While looking through the mug shots picture 8 really stands out. It’s name is Leslie Parker and it’s obvious she’s a Bama fan! RTR!

She’s just trying to get paid by any means necessary… one might call her behavior “Saban-esque”. She may only charge a dollar but she feels like a millionaire. RTR!

alabama-pros

Rammer Jammer, Skank goes to the Slammer

She looks like the looks like the bastard child of Jeremy Shockey and Molly Ringwald. Let me guess. You take her home to your wife/girlfriend and your better half automatically feels better about herself…right?

The jerseys are actually a form of “prostitution code”. For example, the Johns are supposed to sport something from the University of South Carolina.

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Crime & Punishment, Hookers, SEC, Skank | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

 
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