Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Archive for the ‘Sox Rock!’ Category

Let the hate begin. It’s time for the Red Sox and Yankees to renew their rivalry for 2009

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 24, 2009

This weekend is one of the better sports weekends especially if you’re a Red Sox fan. That’s right Sox and Yankees renew their hate-fest. We all know the Yankees blow, my God they can’t even sell out that brand new stadium of theirs. 

David Ortiz has already issued a warning to Joba “The DUI Drunken Hutt” Chamberlain about throwing at the heads of Red Sox players. See in 2007 Chamberlain threw behind Youkilis’ head twice in one game. Then last July this occurred. 

Ortiz talked to reporters on Wednesday between games of a doubleheader with the Twins. 

“None of that, man – just play the game the way it’s supposed to be, and that’s about it,” Ortiz said, referring to Chamberlain. “This is a guy, as good as he is, the next step for him will be to earn respect from everybody in the league. He’s not a bad guy, but when things like that happen, people get the wrong idea.” 

Basically he is saying “Oh and please don’t pitch drunk.” 

Then again this is just another example of the Dominican Republic going out of its way to police other countries. See? And you thought I couldn’t pick on teams or players I like. 

The photo is a screen shot of CNBC’s Closing Bell during the Consumer Electronics Show of 2008. Don’t these guys know they don’t have to make degrading personal appearances until they’ve retired and shitted all their money away? 

Joba just can’t get away from the prison stripes look. Guess he’s preparing for his future 10-year stint when he pulls a Stallworth.

Advertisements

Posted in Big Papi, Boston Red Sox, DUI, Joba Chamberlain, Major League Baseball, MLB, new york yankees, Sox Rock!, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

College Football Week 8 is in the books & here’s what I learned

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 19, 2008

Ahh…another Saturday of college football has past us by. No real upsets to speak of however it was another great smorgasbord of games with some thrilling endings.

Don’t let the Tennessee score fool you. My complete wrap-up of that game will be tomorrow.

Everyone remember BYU? You know they’re the team with the unstoppable offense that was going to bust the BCS this year. Well TCU has something to say about that.

South Florida keeps in the mix of the Big Least by rolling over Syracuse.

Look out the smarty Northwestern team is now bowl eligible. They beat Purdue handily and this has to be Joe Tiller’s last season.

Maryland is like Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde of the ACC that or Wake Forest just wants to avoid a trip to Tampa and a chance to play in the ACC championship game.

Wow Rutgers actually won a game.

Georgia Tech upended Clemson. This was Dabo Swinney’s first game as interim head coach. I noticed that the AD was on the sidelines because he said something that obviously Swinney didn’t like.

If I was Swinney I would simply blame the AD at the post-game press conference.

“That play that got Korn injured, that was the AD’s call. The hook & ladder play it was the AD’s as well. I figured since he was on the sidelines interfering with my coaching he could call some of the plays”

Seriously folks the AD doesn’t belong on the sidelines. He should have been in the luxury suites entertaining the alumni.

Texas Tech manages to get the offense rolling and defeats Texas A&M.

Wisconsin once was ranked as high as #10 in the country, dropped their 3rd game in a row while taking a beating from Iowa.

Georgia sloppily beat Vandy. Vandy is looking to become bowl eligible.

Oklahoma State is 7-0 for the first time since the 1940’s.

Everyone though Michigan State had turned a corner…then they met Ohio State yesterday. It wasn’t pretty.

Oklahoma might the 4th in the country but they’re also 4th in their division.

I’m one of the few people that actually took Virginia to beat North Carolina.

Ole Miss. gave Alabama a huge scare. Alabama starts fast and fails to finish big.

Michigan looked awesome in the first half against Penn State. To bad the game has a second half.

Kentucky rallied 2 touchdowns in about the final minutes of the game to defeat Arkansas.

Don’t look now but Pittsburgh is now 5-1.

Hey did you know that Virginia Tech played Boston College last night? It was actually a decent game and Virginia Tech, like Wake Forest, doesn’t want too go to the ACC championship game either.

Texas crushes Missouri. (Insert Obligatory ‘Don’t Mess With Texas’ Headline Here)

California gets ranked the second time in the season just to get beaten again.

South Carolina fails to win a third game in a row. (Snicker)

Finally. My beloved Red Sox are still alive thanks to this fat-ass. Of course TBS has an epic fail due to technically difficulties.

“Two circuit breakers in our Atlanta transmission operations tripped causing the master router and its backup – which are necessary to transmit any incoming feed outbound – to shut down. This impacted our live feed from being distributed to any of the other networks in the Turner portfolio and caused the delay in our coverage. Both our primary and backup routers were impacted by this problem. We apologize to baseball fans for this mishap that caused a delay in our coverage.”

Everyone wanting to watch the game in the U.S. had to wade through about 20 minutes of a rerun of the Steve Harvey Show, and missed BJ Upton’s solo home run in the bottom of the first inning.

I’m no expert on TV transmission system design, but wouldn’t you think that your backup system would be isolated from your main system such that a circuit breaker going down wouldn’t take them both off line? Isn’t that, you know, the point of a backup system?

Way to go TBS…& where is the apology to those that might be upset about missing the last 10 minutes of the show? They might have wanted to see more wacky shenanigans.

Posted in ACC Football, Alabama Crimson Tide, Arizona Wildcats, Arkansas Razorbacks, Big East, big ten football, Big Twelve Football, boston college, Boston Red Sox, BYU, Clemson Tigers, Coach Rich Rodriguez, Dabo Swinney, Georgia Bulldogs, Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, Houston Nutt, Kentucky Wildcats, Major League Baseball, Michigan State Spartons, Michigan Wolverines, Missouri Tigers, North Carolina Tarheels, ohio state buckeyes, Oklahoma sooners, Oklahoma State Cowboys, ole miss rebels, Pac 10 football, Penn State Nittany Lions, Purdue, Red Sox, Rutgers, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Sox Rock!, Syracuse Orangemen, Texas A&M, Texas Christian, Texas Longhorns, Texas Tech Red Raiders, tOSU, Uga, University of California berkeley, University of South Florida, upsets, Vanderbilt Commodores, vandy, Virginia Cavaliers, Virginia Tech, Wisconsin Badgers, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

The Big Orange Roundtable Vol. VII

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 19, 2008

Is it that time again?

As Horseshack for the timely show Welcome Back Kotter would say, “Ooh ooh ohh I know the answer!”

Yes folks it time for this weeks Big Roundtable! This weeks host is none other than the smart-asses geniuses of Fulmer’s Belly, who of course takes sarcasm to whole new level. Hence that’s why they’ve been on my blog roll forever and a day now.

Now let’s get to the questions for this week.

1. Knock on wood before answering this question, but let’s assume that Jonathan Crompton goes out with a season ending injury in the 1st half of the first game of the season. Should we just pack it up and wait until next season, or is there a glimmer of hope in any of the young backups?

There is always a glimmer of hope! BJ Coleman and Nick Stephens are the back ups and people say they aren’t looking good. However I have it on good word that Coleman is so deathly afraid of the Mountain Messiah Crompton that he is mucking it up on purpose in practice.

The Mountain Messiah can throw the ball the distance of five football fields. Coleman can do that same except while laying on his stomach. Coleman is ironically the Mountain Messiah’s kryptonite, much like Crompton was Ainge’s kryptonite.

Colemanites assemble and start fighting for what is yours. Why wait till Crompton goes down? Carpe diem! Carpe diem!

If all else fails we have Eric Berry. He can do anything he wants to do except coach of course

2. Does Erik Ainge have a future in the NFL?

Of course he has a future. Someone will have to keep a current count of Brett Fa***’s happy pills pain relievers. The sad thing is if Ainge was drafted by Chicago he would probably be the starter. Grossman is out and Kyle Orton? Puh-lease. The Jets like Ainge because he holds the clipboard much like Chad Pennington did when he was injured. Which was a lot.

3. Why in the hell did you decide to blog about Tennessee football? Aren’t there already enough Tennessee blogs?

(Sigh) :::bangs head on keyboard::: THIS IS NOT A TENNESSEE BLOG.

Sure I love Tennessee to the point that my piss is orange. But me and the writers here strive to cover all teams from all sports. We don’t focus solely on Tennessee or the SEC. I do love to pick on Tennessee (which reminds me I’m worried since we haven’t had any arrests lately) & the other teams of the SEC. Like my tag line proclaims this is a blog on why ALL teams suck. (Alabama sucking the hardest though)

4. If you could be one player in one game in Tennessee history, which player and which game would you pick? Why?

Travis Stephens because he rushed for 226 yards on just 19 carries and scored 2 touchdowns as Tennessee broke a 30-year winless drought against the Gators in Ben Hill Griffin Stadium with a 34-32 victory.

As most of you know that was the last game God Spurrier coached the Swamp. I wonder how that feels. His last game at Florida was a loss to Tennessee.

5 Which is your favorite rivalry and why? (Not necessarily limited to Tennessee teams)

When people talk about rivalry in sports, the very first dual that comes to mind is Red Sox/Yankees or Yankees/Red Sox, depending if they are a scum sucking Yankee fan. This rivalry transcends the field of play and dates back to the Civil War. That’s a rivalry people!

I ♥ my white hangers

The Red Sox were one of the most successful teams in baseball at the turn of the 20th century and through the following two decades. The team won the inaugural World Series in 1903 and four more between 1912 and 1918. During this period, the Yankees were often called the Highlanders, in reference to playing their games in the Washington Heights neighborhood of Manhattan. Although physically located on a hilltop, the Highlanders routinely finished near the bottom of the standings because much like the Yankees of today they sucked. The one notable exception came in 1904, when the Highlanders, led by pitcher Jack Chesbro who won a record 41 games, met  Boston on the final game of the season to decide the AL pennant. Chesbro threw a wild pitch and Boston won the pennant, but there was no World Series that year as the Giants refused to play. That would be the last time in a hundred years that the Red Sox would defeat the Yankees in a title-deciding game.

In 1916, the Red Sox were purchased by Harry Frazee on credit for $500,000. Though the team won the World Series in 1918, Frazee was hard-pressed to pay off the loans he accrued by purchasing the team and by producing Broadway shows. After the Red Sox finished sixth in the American League in 1919, Frazee sold several Red Sox players, including pitcher-turned-outfielder Babe Ruth to the Yankees. Frazee received $125,000 and a loan of $300,000-secured on Fenway Park, the Red Sox’ home stadium-for Ruth.

Ruth’s arrival in New York simultaneously launched the Yankee dynasty while ravaging the Red Sox. While the Red Sox’ five World Series titles were a record at the time, 1918 would be the team’s last championship for 86 years. Meanwhile, Ruth’s home run hitting prowess anchored the Yankee line-up, which became known as “Murderers’ Row” in the late 1920s. After his trade to the Yankees, Ruth’s new team reached the World Series seven times during his career in New York, winning four. This abrupt reversal of fortunes for the Red Sox marked the beginning of the supposed “Curse of the Bambino”. But it was not the Ruth deal alone that reversed the fortunes of both clubs.

I will not get into the complete history of this rivalry. I don’t have the time to tell the complete story right here, so if you don’t know it already then I apologize. Let’s fast forward a little bit though.

The year 2004 brought Jason Varitek’s mitt in Alex Rodriguez’s face. And then came another October meeting, and the Yankees standing three outs away — with Mariano Rivera on the mound — from a humiliating sweep of the Red Sox. And then came the biggest postseason collapse in history, and the Red Sox celebrating on the Yankee Stadium field. And the earth itself seemed to tilt on its axis.

These days there is more friction between the fans than there is between the players. I mean, we see the heat come out every now and again, but by and large guys like Jeter and Veritek are too professional to let the whole thing get “too far” under their skin. I know what you are going to say, “What about Veritek and A-Rod?”

That was a catcher protecting his pitcher, and yes the rest of the team was energized by the way it played out, but the fans and media turned it into something bigger I think, and hey, I’m all for it.

Yankees vs. Red Sox is the Greatest Rivalry in Sports because it contains every element required for a great rivalry, and more

Between 1919 and 2003, the Yankees had won 26 World Series championships. The Red Sox had won none. The one constant in the rivalry was that the Yankees always won in the end, a fact that became a significant part of the lore surrounding the rivalry: According to the so-called “Curse of the Bambino,” the Red Sox’ woes began when they sold Babe Ruth to the Yankees.

So in October 2004, when the Red Sox finally trumped the Yankees, becoming the first team in history to overcome a three-games-to-none deficit — then went on to sweep the St. Louis Cardinals in the World Series — the curse was broken and the rivalry was changed forever. The Red Sox are the current defending champions the Yankees are pretty much out of it.

However the rivalry will live on and every year it grows stronger and more passionate for all the fans even the suck-ass Yankee fans.

Bonus: Who will win the national title this year? And by how many points will Tennessee win? (See what we did there?)

Tennessee over West Virginia with the score of 55-10.

Go on and check to other members of the Roundtable of their responses to these questions. Now go now damn t! Move it! GO VOLS! GO SOX!

Posted in Big Orange, Boston Red Sox, cromptonites, Erik Ainge, Go Vols, Rocky Top, SEC Football, Sox Rock!, Tennessee Volunteers, The Big Orange Roundtable, UT vols, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

The AMI & the Porn Industry Support Jason Giambis’ All Star Mustache

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 10, 2008

Up until this year most Yankee fans would have told you that they hate Jason Giambi. He was just another overpaid underachieving cog in the Yankees evil empire. Then suddenly something happened, he grew a mustache reminiscent of the mustaches that the 70’s porn kings such as Ron Jeremy sports.

So let’s be clear on this. Jason Giambi wears a golden thong & sports a porn-stache all equal starting first baseman for the American League in this years’ all star game.

Of course Jason had some help. The American Mustache Institute (AMI) whose mission statement of “Protecting the rights of, and fighting discrimination against, mustached Americans by promoting the growth, care, and culture of the mustache,” officially endorsed Giambis’ all star ballot.

“It doesn’t take a mathematician to figure out that Jason Giambi’s hitting prowess plus a fashionable mustache, equals a bona fide All-Star,” said Aaron Perlut, Executive Director of The American Mustache Institute. “Giambi’s significant first-half production as well as his powerful lip fur – indicating great intellect and good looks – make two very compelling reasons for his place on the American League All-Star roster.”

Lip fur…lovely…oh & they made a video as well. Praising Giambi and man-loving his mustache.

The Yankees actually urged the fans in a press release to vote for Giambi and his porn-stache:

The New York Yankees are urging fans to “Support the ‘Stache” and vote for first baseman Jason Giambi on Major League Baseball’s Final All-Star Ballot.

Before this year the only thing Giambi delivered for the Yankees was an admission to using steroids but thanks to his golden thong and his Ron Jeremy like mustache he’s in the all star game.

All this is driving Yankees radio announcer John Sterling to act less than professional in the media dining room at Yankees stadium. According to the New York Post:

Yankees radio announcer John Sterling is being called out for foul behavior in the stadium’s press dining room. “Sterling has made a habit of walking over to the dessert table and dipping his finger into the ice cream barrel,” one stadium worker told us, adding that the play-by-play vet has also used the same tablespoon to repeatedly take samples. During the Boston series, “He wandered over to the cake and pie section, broke off a piece of a cake slice, ate it and wiped his grimy hands on the linen tablecloth, leaving the remainder of the slice for someone else to eat – which indeed happened,” our spy continued.

See what you can achieve with the support of the AMI and the porn industry backing you? The porn-stache is a powerful thing. But only a goatee like I and Boston Red Sox slugger Kevin Youkilis sport, can bring you the riches of a popular blog and your own sports drink.

Posted in Boston Redsox, Evil Empire, Jason Giambi, Kevin Youkilis, Major League Baseball, MLB, Mustache Fever, new york yankees, Ron Jeremy, Sox Rock!, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Tempers Flare Sox Still Win

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 6, 2008

Coco Dodges

In the process of defeating the Tampa Rays by a score of 7-1 Boston center fielder Coco Crisp was hit on the right hip by Tampa Bay right-hander James Shields, prompting a benches-clearing brawl in the second inning.

Crisp dropped his bat, charged the mound, ducked a wild right by Shields before throwing a few punches of his own on Shields before being tackled to the ground by catcher Dioner Navarro.

Rays DH Jonny “I’m a Cheapshot Artist” Gomes charged the mound from the dugout, jumped on Navarro and Crisp, and threw a few punches that hit Crisp while he was on the ground.

I now know why nobody in Tampa watches these bums. What a bunch a jerkoffs. They try to pick fights with the Yankees in SPRING TRAINING and now this? Seems like a bunch of immature thugs crying over sour apples. I hope Sheilds gets a 7 day suspension, and Gomes, he should get 7 games as well. What a punk. Crisp deserves a lengthy suspension as well, but it’s not like he had a choice…Just trying to defend himself from a blatant attempt to injure him.

The tempers carried over from Wednesday’s game when Tampa Bay manager Joe Maddon said Crisp “intentionally” tried hurt somebody. He slid hard into second baseman Akinori Iwamura when he was caught stealing two innings after shortstop Jason Bartlett blocked the bag with his leg which was a bush league move. Crisp injured his left thumb against Bartlett’s leg.

“It’s simple,” Gomes said, when asked what he was doing when he got to the mound. “I’m just going out there for my pitcher’s defense.”

Crisp, who had a scratch on his forehead and right cheek, was most upset with what happened under the pile.

“I charged the mound. [Shields] tried to hit me with a punch,” Crisp said. “I’m not upset at all. We fought. That’s all it is. There were some cheap shots there. [Carl] Crawford came sliding in. I don’t know why he was pulling hair, scratching. After that it was three, four guys on one.”

Crawford = complete woman.

After Wednesday’s game, Maddon said

“I believe the players should take care of things on the field.”

Crisp was also involved in a flare-up in the eighth Wednesday. When he went to the mound to make a pitching change, Maddon turned toward the Red Sox dugout and said something to Crisp.

“Everybody else on the mound started looking over there so I got louder,” Crisp said after the game. “I don’t know if he could hear what I was saying but basically I just said, ‘I did that on my own so don’t punish anybody else on the team.”

Crisp said he was upset with shortstop Bartlett, not Iwamura, after Bartlett put his knee down in front of the bag on Crisp’s successful steal in the sixth. His thumb was bandaged after the game, but he started Thursday.

“I told him … I’d get back on base and then I’m going to show him how I felt about it,” Crisp said. “It wasn’t as dramatic as it probably would have been if he would have covered the bag.”

These guys miss hockey season already.

Coco Connects

Posted in Boston Redsox, Brawls, Major League Baseball, MLB, Red Sox, Sox Rock!, Tampa Rays | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Yankees Fan Desperate for any Kind Victory Tries Murder…She is still a Loser

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 6, 2008

Yankee fans I know that’s it driving you crazy that Boston is rocking the top of the AL East while your Scum-sucking Yankees are next to last, but is murdering a Red Sox fan going to help you win? No, no it won’t…

Meet Ivonne Hernandez. This lovely piece of Yankee trash ran down a man named Matthew Beaudoin in her car after a Red Sox-Yankees argument in a bar. This bitch never hit her brakes as she accelerated toward the small group he was in.

Don’t you just love friendly rivalries? People are taking the new GTA IV way too seriously. Judging from her picture, I would have thought she was the one that got ran over by the car…but in her defense, that sure is a snazzy Breathe Right strip.

“She never braked, and she accelerated at a high speed for about 200 feet. She went directly at this group of people,” prosecutor Susan Morrell said.

“Mary Kay” Hernandez was ordered held without bail after being arraigned Monday in Nashua District Court. The charges, including aggravated drunken driving, are felonies, so Hernandez could not enter a plea. Which being a Yankees fan would have been innocent because surely she would have misremembered the details.

What I would like to know why this is being charged as second degree murder when it should be first degree premeditated and she gunned the car right at them. However it wasn’t planned in advance nor premeditated. This was a drunk who obviously went way too far. Plus, it’s easier to get the 2nd degree murder conviction. Damn I answered my own question there, I’m brilliant!

Authorities won’t describe the argument beforehand in Slade’s Food & Spirits, but witnesses said it heated up when Hernandez identified herself as a New York Yankees whore. Nashua, 45 miles northwest of Boston, is Red Sox country.

Bartender Tanya Moran said the argument spilled outside, and at least one person in a group that included Beaudoin began chanting “Yankees suck!” when they saw a Yankees sticker on Hernandez’s car.

So instead of facing the truth Hernandez gunned her car and struck Beaudoin and his friend Maria Hughes, 21. Beaudoin’s sister, Faith Beaudoin, said Hughes had only minor injuries because her brother shielded her. Beaudoin died of massive head trauma at a hospital, Morrell said.

“Mary Kay” Hernandez was arrested at the scene. She acknowledged she had been drinking and refused to take a breath-alcohol test, said Morrell, a senior assistant attorney general. Hernandez said she had been in an argument with the group.

“She indicated to police that she wanted to scare this group of people. She thought they would get out of the way,” Morrell said.

Nice…alcohol and stupidly don’t mix but throw in the Yankee fan factor & you have yourself a drunken corporate whore.

Faith Beaudoin said her brother, who lived in Nashua, was a 1997 graduate of Nashua High School who worked dealing poker at Sharky’s Poker Room in Manchester and Nashua. She said his organs, including his heart, liver and kidneys, were donated in hopes of saving other people’s lives.

“He was always helping people when he was alive, and he’s still saving lives,” she said, choking back tears.

In all seriousness now I pray for the victim and their family.

Anyone that parrots the “typical Yankee fan” line or anything similar is a complete idiot. I mean, I’m a massive Sox fan, but there’s no place for stupidity like that.

I also have some questions.

  1. Why would any guy in his right mind follow a woman who looks like THAT out of a bar?
  2. Do bars in Nashua not have any semblance of security (or even the bartender) to diffuse the situation before someone gets killed???????
  3. How desperate will Joel and I be for stories get until football season starts?
  4. Why the hell was that Yankee skank even at a Red Sox bar?

Posted in Boston Redsox, Crime & Punishment, Evil Empire, murderer, new york yankees, Sox Rock!, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »