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Archive for the ‘Stephen Garcia’ Category

Gamecock football player arrested signifies that spring is officially here

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 23, 2009

Toke toke pass

You know it’s been awhile since I’ve had the pleasure of to write anything negative about a Gamecock football player. To be totally honest I was beginning to get worried. I mean spring just isn’t the same around here in Columbia unless you have pollen, thunderstorms in the afternoons and a Gamecock arrest. Luckily for Mother Nature 2 out of 3 ain’t too bad.

Last Tuesday it was announced that defensive tackle Ladi Ajiboye was suspended indefinitely which of course in Steve God Spurrier terms means a couple of practices. It has now been revealed that Ajiboye was arrested in February for being a participant in a drug deal. Somehow the Spurrier regimen somehow kept this hidden from the Gamecock hating liberal media of Columbia. This reason I say that is because all the Gamecock fans complain how only negative things are written about their team.

Within the past two seasons Ajiboye has started in 22 games and is considered a key to the defensive line. Don’t worry Gamecock fans this boy is a producer on the field and you know as well as I do that if the starting QB can key a professor’s car, be arrested multiple times within a year and set of fire extinguishers in the dorms for fun then Ajiboye will be back on the field by next week.

According to the Columbia Po Po, on the February 21st, they witnessed Ajiboye engage in a “hand-to-hand transaction” with another person. Ajiboye at the time was driving Terrence Campbell’s car. Campbell is an offensive lineman for the Gamecocks. Ajiboye just wanted to get his Phelps on!

The Po Po staked out the car and after Campbell like a moron failed to signal for a turn, he was promptly pulled over. There the Po Po found evidence of the sweet sticky icky weed that Ajiboye confessed was his. I will give credit to Ajiboye for manning up there.

“Our narcotic agents witnessed a drug transaction,” sheriff’s department spokesman Chris Cowan said. “They saw him get into the car. They made the stop. He was arrested.”

Campbell, a redshirt junior who started nine games at guard last season, was not charged in the incident.

Never fear Gamecock fans you have Neal “Johnie Cochran Jr.” Lourie. Believe me he could have gotten OJ off the last charges. Then again if Lourie can’t work his magic then there’s always pumping gas.

Posted in bongs, Crime & Punishment, mary jane, Po Po, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Stephen Garcia, Steve Spurrier, USC | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

The Tennessee/South Carolina grade book. The end is near!

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 3, 2008

Has anyone ever seen the movie Magnolia? I was conned into seeing it by a former girlfriend. It’s like three hours and eight minutes of tortuous hell. This Tennessee football season certainly reminds me of that. There never seems to be an end in sight.

This past Saturday’s game was yet another double digit loss and yet another three plus hours of watching mistake after mistake.

Unfortunately asshole Steve God Spurrier said it best in his press conference yesterday.

“The Tennessee band was there last night, weren’t they?” Spurrier said Sunday afternoon in his weekly conference call with reporters. “I’m used to hearing ‘Rocky Top.’ . . . Maybe they only play that when they score. Usually when you play Tennessee, you hear that ‘Rocky Top’ so often it’s ringing in your brain.”

Fulmer’s focus is clearly on winning out however it will not save his job. A 24-23 loss by Tennessee to the Gamecocks in 1992 was one of the main reasons Coach Fulmer’s predecessor, coach Johnny Majors was fired.

No one on the team cares anymore; there was no emotion on the sidelines, even when Berry intercepted the ball when the game was still in reach. It looked like everyone was at a funeral and maybe they were.

Any & all discipline is now gone, I saw how Stephens turned away from Fulmer when he got into his face, there is no respect for the coach because no one cares, they feel like the season is already over.

The amazing thing about this season is the fact the incoming recruiting class is phenomenal. On Saturday afternoon Phoebus quarterback Tajh Boyd announced his commitment to Tennessee. Boyd is ranked as the top QB in Virginia. The Vols so far have what is considered to be a top five class shaping up. However if and when Fulmer is fired will we keep any of those recruits?

“Anybody that likes Tennessee and cares about what the product looks like on the field is frustrated,” Fulmer said, echoing comments from this year. “I’m disappointed that we haven’t played well. I don’t think I’ve let it show on the practice field or in meetings. The players, they’re disappointed and frustrated, but they haven’t let it show in the game. We continue to get effort and haven’t seen a whole lot of finger pointing or anything like that.

“They’ve done what we’ve asked them to do and what they should do, and that’s continue to work and stay positive, play hard and look forward to what the next challenge is.”

My main goal is to get Coach Fulmer elected to the white house. As you can see below I spared no expense and sponsored a car in yesterday’s NASCAR race.

OK let’s go to the grade book.

Quarterbacks: F

Maybe we need to start B.J. Coleman. I wonder if the whole offensive system is broken. Rumor has it that 75% of the offensive plays are being changed by Coach Fulmer. If that is the case then he needs to allow Clawson to call the game against Wyoming and keep mum about the play calling. Regardless of the system no team can overcome to stupid mistakes that both quarterbacks seem to have made this past Saturday.

Running Backs: F

Creer’s fumble set up a touchdown that put the game out of reach. Foster ran hard and averaged around 4 yards per carry. He was very fortunate to get the ball over the goal line for a touchdown just moments before losing the handle on it.

Receivers: D

With Jones and Moore on the bench there was zero explosiveness. South Carolina’s secondary was not challenged.

Offensive Line: F

Just when you thought Tennessee was going to start running the ball effectively the O-line would fail. There was no pass protection. The O-line gave up six sacks and of course penalties were again a problem.

Defensive Line: A-

With an injured D-line, the Vols still recorded three tackles for a loss and a sack.

Linebackers: B+

Welcome back Rico McCoy. He had nine tackles and one was for a loss. Ellix Wilson had six. Nevin McKenzie had four, one for a loss.

Secondary: A-

Two words: Eric Berry. I’m willing to bet Chuck Norris wears Eric Berry underroos.

Special Teams: F-

Rogan’s fumble during a punt return was inexcusable. Demetrice Morley was called offside during a field goal attempt that prompted South Carolina to go for it on fourth down. And let’s not fail to mention the 67-yard punt return that almost scored.

Coaching: F

Discipline is dead and of course there were to many conservative calls.

Overall F

Tennessee is consistent…consistently awful and embarrassing. This loss could go down in the books as the worse loss in this decade.

Posted in Discipline, Eric Berry, fire philip fulmer, fulmer sucks, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, Rocky Top, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Stephen Garcia, Steve Spurrier, Tennessee Volunteers, UT vols | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

College Football Week 7 is in the books & here’s what I learned

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 12, 2008

Chaos in the polls and I love it!!!! Yesterday was definitely the best slate of games this whole season and of course the best slate to surprising upsets.

Who is #1? It’s question that will be answered later today in the coaches poll and will be argued by everyone in the country.

I wonder who is feeling the heat more Tommy Bowden or Phillip Fulmer. Of course Tennessee lost because they suck no matter how hard I cheer for them. The full write up on the game verses Georgia will be tomorrow after I painstakingly watch a tape of the game later today.

Toledo’s record against Michigan improved to 1-0 yesterday which was a shocker.

I’m sure Arkansas is tanking Auburn for firing their offensive coordinator. You can the “inside” story of the firing right here.

All eyes were definitely on Texas yesterday as they upended Oklahoma.

“I’m 40! I’m a man! & I just beat Missouri bitches!” says Mike Gundy AKA America’s coach.

Tim “TiVo the Teabag” Tebow can go back to circumcising kids now since Florida hands LSU an ugly loss. Hell Tennessee didn’t allow Florida to score that many points.

Penn St. makes an argument on why they should be considered #1. as they gave Wisconsin a second straight loss at Camp Randall.

The Texas Tech offense isn’t putting up the points it used to but manages to defeat Nebraska and avoid being upset.

USC rolled against a dead Arizona State team.

BYU won. Who cares?

What’s wrong with Ohio State’s offense? Sure they won but they only scored 16 at home.

I was one of the few people in my pick’em to pick Miss. State over Vandy. Bobby Johnson you just got Croomed!

Kansas proves that they are still a factor in the Big 12.

Everyone point and laugh at Notre Dame. OK that’s enough. I seriously wonder how much Charlie Weis weighs.

It took the G-Spot Stephen “I keyed a professor’s car” Garcia to allow South Carolina a victory or KY. Hey Brooks maybe they stole your plays as well…asshole.

Look out Virginia is 3-3.

Not only does Lou Holtz have a lisp, slobbers when he talks but he also looks like he has had a chemical peel that never healed.

Georgia Tech you barely defeated Gardner-Webb seriously WTF?

Show some love to Minnesota as they handed the Illinois Fighting Zookers a surprising loss at Illinois.

Wow Iowa actually won a game.

Dumb ass comment of the day goes to Lou Holtz when he mentioned comparing Colt McCoy’s stats to that of Vince Young’s the year Vince Young won the Heisman. The problem is Young never won the Heisman…what a dumb ass.

Posted in ACC Football, Arizona State Sundevils, Arkansas Razorbacks, big ten football, Big Twelve Football, BYU, Charlie Weis, Clemson Tigers, Corn Dogs, Croom, Florida Gators, gardner webb, Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, Illinois Fighting Illini, Iowa Hawkeyes, Joe Pa, Lou Holtz, Lou Lisp, Michigan Wolverines, Mike Gundy, Minnesota Gophers, Nebraska Cornhuskers, North Carolina Tarheels, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, notre dame sucks, ohio state buckeyes, Oklahoma sooners, Oklahoma State Cowboys, Pac 10 football, Penn State Nittany Lions, Rich Brooks, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Stephen Garcia, Texas Longhorns, upsets, Vanderbilt Commodores, vandy, War Eagle, Zooker | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

College Football Week 6 is in the books & here’s what I learned

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 5, 2008

Let’s be honest for the most part yesterday was an exciting & entertaining crappy day of college football.

As always I’ll have a full review of the Tennessee game tomorrow after I watch a tape of the game today. For the most part the death clock continues to toll for Philopotamus.

Pittsburgh is still alive in the Big Least and shot down South Florida which I was glad to see.

Duke was on a roll until they met another team from a “smart school” that was also a buzz saw name Georgia Tech.

Michigan State continues to quietly win while Iowa continues to quietly suck.

Has anyone noticed that Minnesota is 5-1?

Right now Penn State is the most underrated top 10 team in the country.

I asked this question on a message board this week it is worth asking again. Should Arkansas be considered a Div. 2-A school this season? I bet Atlanta doesn’t look so bad to Bobby P. now huh?

Kansas, remember them? Well they almost were victims of an upset yesterday.

Oklahoma didn’t have any trouble winning their first game as the #1 in the country.

Virginia Tech is suddenly the team to beat in the ACC.

Notre Dame is 4-1 and almost lost to Stanford. With their weak schedule why aren’t they in the top 5? (Sarcasm people catch the fever!)

The Fighting Zookers of Illinois reinserts themselves in to the Big 10.

Wisconsin is on the fail slide.

Texas Tech is 5-0 and it looks like their offense has awaked.

I hate F$U but they are 4-1 and their game with Miami was a classic.

UCONN is the latest Big East failure.

America’s coach Mike Gundy has Oklahoma State at 5-0. He’s a man he’s 40! By God.

Holy shit just when you think Maryland is coming back and Virginia is dead. Virginia dismantles Maryland big time.

Arizona is 4-1 look for them to be ranked later today.

Oregon you picked a bad time to play SoCal.

Missouri might be the best team in the country right now and Chase is clearly the Heisman leader.

Wow Hawaii beat Fresno State…wow.

Vanderbilt upends Auburn at home which worries the hell out of me.

South Carolina’s offense finally shows life and Garcia still isn’t a starter, maybe he should key another professor’s car to get a little attention.

While Bama might have won yesterday the fact that Kentucky has the #1 scoring defense in the nation is no fluke.

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Arizona Wildcats, Arkansas Razorbacks, Auburn, Bama Sucks, Big East, big ten football, Big Twelve Football, Duke Blue Devils, fire philip fulmer, Florida State Seminoles, FSU, fulmer sucks, Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, Illinois Fighting Illini, kansas jayhawks, Kentucky Wildcats, Maryland, Miami hurricanes, Michigan State Spartons, Minnesota Gophers, Missouri Tigers, Nebraska Cornhuskers, North Carolina Tarheels, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, notre dame sucks, Oklahoma sooners, Oklahoma State Cowboys, Ole Miss, ole miss rebels, Pac 10 football, Pitt Panthers, SEC Football, SoCal, South Florida Bulls, Stephen Garcia, Tennessee Volunteers, Texas Tech Red Raiders, University of Southern Cal, Vanderbilt Commodores, vandy, Virginia Cavaliers, Virginia Tech, War Eagle, Wisconsin Badgers, Zooker | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Karma is a bitch for Stephen Garcia

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 13, 2008

Stephen Garcia you were reinstated two weeks early & for what? To sit on your ass? Sure you look better since you’ve gotten a haircut unfortunately you’re also sitting and not practicing.

Garcia is injured after spraining his right ankle “sometime Saturday,” as Steve God Spurrier put it.

“I may let him tell you. I don’t know. He said he did it in the scrimmage (Saturday). But he was OK ‘til he woke up Sunday morning,” USC coach Steve Spurrier said. “He thought he got hurt in the scrimmage somewhere. But anyway, he’s limping around.”

“He said he twisted it Saturday,” Spurrier added. “That’s his story and he’s sticking to it.”

That sounds like an implication meaning that Garcia injured the ankle doing something other than playing football.

Maybe he slipped and fell while out drinking in Five Points.

Garcia, who is said to be on third different zero-tolerance policy, better known as Zero Tolerance 3.0 the Garcia Edition, after following three arrests and at least one other university wrist-slap disciplinary incident will not be able to tell reporters what happened, because he returned to the team Aug. 1 after a four-month suspension, he released a statement saying he would not talk to the media until he played in a real game.

Spending a week or more sitting on his ass while on the sidelines is not the best course of action for someone who’s missed all but a couple of practices each of the past two springs.

Posted in Crime & Punishment, Discipline, Douche Bag, drunk, Gamecocks, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Stephen Garcia, Steve Spurrier, USC | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

South Carolina Trustee says Garcia was targeted by USC campus police. Well I know something about that. =)

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 7, 2008

Garica getting ready to be strip searched. Don't ask what he's about to do with the mic.

Eddie Floyd, a surgeon from Florence is one of the longest-serving and most influential members of USC’s board of trustees believes Gamecocks athletes have been targeted by the university’s police force.

“I feel they have overstepped in some areas,” Floyd said Wednesday from his home in Florence. “After talking to some of the people, this is how I feel. And I always say what I feel, good or bad.”

“My feeling is that (targeting athletes) has happened. I’m sure the administration may have a different opinion,” Floyd said. “But certainly that’s what I think.”

Of course Dr. Floyd has no thing such as evidence to back this up but hey he claims he is going on his “gut feelings.”

Since I virtually write about every Gamecock arrest I’ve have only found 2 football players arrested by campus police. One was Garcia & the other was Emanuel Cook. Both admitted they were guilty of the crimes they committed but hey Dr. Floyd believes they are caught in an elaborate trap by the campus police.

Floyd, whose contributions helped pay for the USC football office that bears his name, ain’t snitching out who his sources are but said they were not from the Gamecocks athletics department.

Another longtime trustee disputes Floyd’s claims and thinks the guy is off his rocker.

“I don’t think anyone has targeted (athletes) whatsoever,” said Mike Mungo, the longest-serving trustee in USC history with 36 years on the board. “I think the allegations are totally baseless, and I think I’m as well-informed as anyone at the university.”

Mungo said university officials investigated the claims and found no evidence of a police conspiracy against athletes. Gee imagine that.

“Eddie can say what he want wants to say, but I don’t believe that it’s a fact,” Mungo said.

Floyd first voiced his allegations to GamecockCentral.com, some lame-ass fan site. (I think all sites like this are lame)

Floyd told the site he believes Gamecocks quarterback Stephen Garcia was being watched by campus police in March when he and two teammates were cited for underage drinking outside the East Quad dormitory that houses many USC athletes.

Of course he fails to mention that all parties pleaded guilty.

This is where it gets good.

He also said he knew of an investigator with USC’s police force whose office was decorated with Clemson’s signature Tiger paws.

But Floyd pulled what is known as a “half-Saban” Wednesday, and admitted he knew little about the investigator whom he implied had a pro-Clemson bias. Basically he’s an asshole.

“One of the investigators that had a tiger paw in his office, my understanding is he said it was a joke. I don’t know,” Floyd said. “I haven’t looked at it. I haven’t seen it. But that’s what I heard.”

Funny how bravely he can make those statements to a major (although lame-ass) Gamecock site and yet he has never seen it with his own eyes.

The shocking thing about all of this is he’s right…sorta.

Enter operation:

Let’s nail that hippie freak Garcia!Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in alcoholics, Emanuel Cook, Po Po, Police, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Stephen Garcia, Steve Spurrier, USC | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Like the Herpes Garcia keeps returning to the Gamecocks

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 31, 2008

How many college students do you personally know can key a professor’s car and not get expelled? The answer is either zero or one if you happen to know Stephen Garcia on a personal level.

Here is what the Garcia time line looks thus far:

2007

  • January: Arrives on campus
  • Feb. 17: Arrested in Five Points and charged with drunkenness and failure to stop on police command
  • Feb. 19: Suspended indefinitely by Steve Spurrier from team activities
  • Feb. 22: Reinstated to team
  • March 3: Arrested and charged with vandalizing the car of a USC professor two days earlier; suspended indefinitely
  • March 5: Issues a public apology and has his long hair trimmed
  • March 7: Spurrier announces Garcia will be suspended from spring practice
  • April 16: Reinstated to team
  • June 29: Enters pretrial intervention program that would clear charges from two previous arrests
  • Aug. 28: Spurrier announces intention to red shirt Garcia for 2007 season
  • October: Girlfriend gives birth to a boy, Memphis

2008

  • March 21: Begins spring practice in open competition for starting quarterback job
  • March 22: Cited and charged with underage drinking; listed as only suspect in discharging of fire extinguisher in campus dorm
  • March 25: Suspended from team activities until Aug. 15 by the university.

And of course the USC higher-ups can not even make that stick. Pathetic.

Garcia, suspended since March following his third run-in with the law in a 15-month span, is back on the campus of USC. Anyone want to take or make bets as to how long it will be before he is wearing handcuffs again?

“Stephen is the third quarterback. Stephen’s not going to talk to the media. Stephen doesn’t need anymore attention,” Spurrier said. “He’s had plenty of attention for a guy who’s never played a down.”

Oh but don’t you believe that. After all it was the Ole Ball (sac) Coach Steve God Spurrier that proclaimed in April of 07 that if Garcia slips up one more time he would be forever kicked off the team. Of course that didn’t come to pass now did it?

Garcia earlier today issued a statement through USC thanking the University for yet another chance and saying he will not speak to the media until he’s played in an official game.

“I thank everyone at the University of South Carolina that was involved with my reinstatement – for giving me another chance to be a student-athlete here.

All I can say is that I will try to be the best student-athlete I can during my career here and make this decision a positive one for our university.

The media attention needs to go to Tommy Beecher and the other players on our team. I will not start talking to the media until I begin playing in the real games here at Carolina.”

pic courtesy of Chicken Curse Dot Com

Of course he is back. USC coaches are not into trying to form young minds properly and to teach them what they need to succeed in the world. By God they’re football players NOT student athletes! All they care about is their dumb, pugilistic, criminal football team that is so second rate that they are barely worth mentioning when discussing college football, unless you’re talking about college football failures. 😉 Garcia’s real game of quarters will be sometime tonight expect a press conference by tomorrow.

The Gamecocks are expecting a 7-6 season this year: 7 Arrests, 6 convictions. Hopefully they won’t mistake him for one of the refs when he shows up still wearing his prison jumpsuit.

Let’s face it Spurrier is feeling the heat in the Deathbed of Coaches of trying to climb to a 7 – 5 record this year. If he believes Garcia can help, he’ll do whatever it takes to have him on the field. Some things never change.

Q: What is Steve Spurrier’s biggest concern?
A: Whether or not the NCAA will count bail money as a recruiting violation.

Billy Bob Bammer has issued the following statement in regards to this matter:

“This is kind of fine upstanding player that could have saved Coach Shula from getting fired. rtr Mr. Garcia has been at USC since 07 and still a freshman? How in the daggum hell did Shula let this one get away? RTR Bitches!”

Posted in moral victories, Old Ball Sack Coach, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Stephen Garcia, Steve Spurrier | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Garcia is None & Done? It’s very Likely

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 26, 2008

Stephen Garcia, the most prized football recruit in USC history was tabbed the future of South Carolina by Steve God Spurrier himself. Now a little over a year since arriving on campus it’s very possible is none and done at USC without never even playing one snap in a game.USC athletics director Eric Hyman the Cock in charge decided to give Spurrier a crash course in discipline. Garcia has been suspended from all team-related activities until Aug. 15.

In addition, university officials have suspended Garcia from summer school and will require him to adhere to several stipulations, including drug tests and participation in an alcohol counseling program, if he wants to return to USC on Aug. 15 when summer school ends.

Garcia will be allowed to finish this semester at USC, but must move out of campus housing next week. He would have to ask to be readmitted in August.

Attempts to reach Garcia were unsuccessful. Gary Garcia, the player’s father, declined comment.

Many speculate that Garcia will sign with another school and not return to USC. I’m sure Urban Meyer is feverishly trying to contact Garcia’s parents.

The offense which was in disarray to begin with is now shattered.

“His attitude now is that he’s going to accept a very strong penalty and hopes to return next fall,” Spurrier said. “So we’ll just have to wait and see if that occurs.”

.

“He was upset. It’s very disappointing. His parents are crushed,” Spurrier said. “But he said he came to South Carolina to play here, to play for me and coach (David) Reaves. He loves it up here. He wishes he’d been a little smarter in some of his actions.”

Below is a timeline of the Garcia era.

2007

  • January: Arrives on campus
  • Feb. 17: Arrested in Five Points and charged with drunkenness and failure to stop on police command
  • Feb. 19: Suspended indefinitely by Steve Spurrier from team activities
  • Feb. 22: Reinstated to team
  • March 3: Arrested and charged with vandalizing the car of a USC professor two days earlier; suspended indefinitely
  • March 5: Issues a public apology and has his long hair trimmed
  • March 7: Spurrier announces Garcia will be suspended from spring practice
  • April 16: Reinstated to team
  • June 29: Enters pretrial intervention program that would clear charges from two previous arrests
  • Aug. 28: Spurrier announces intention to redshirt Garcia for 2007 season
  • October: Girlfriend gives birth to a boy, Memphys

2008

  • Friday: Begins spring practice in open competition for starting quarterback job
  • Saturday: Cited and charged with underage drinking; listed as only suspect in discharging of fire extinguisher in campus dorm
  • Tuesday: Suspended from team activities until Aug. 15 by the university.
USC quarterbacks and coaches work on new plays in lieu of Garcia’s absence.

Posted in Discipline, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Stephen Garcia, Steve Spurrier | Tagged: , , , , | 3 Comments »

Academic Probation, Underage Drinking, Fire Extinguishers & the Amish, Yep Spring Practice has Begun for South Carolina

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 25, 2008


Yes he’s probably drunk & he’s a moron

A hippie, an Amish man & a dope smoker all walk into a bar together. No, this isn’t a joke they are all real people and they all play football for USC.

Stephen Garcia is the “future” of Gamecock football. So far his off the field resume of getting in trouble with the Po Po is rather impressive.

Garcia enrolled early at South Carolina to get a jump start on spring practice but was suspended from the team a year ago after two arrests. In February 2007, he was charged with drunkenness and failure to stop for a police officer. About a month later, he was charged with malicious injury to personal property after he keyed a professor’s car. Then Steve God Spurrier stated that one more slip up and Garcia will be history. At the time Garcia swore to the public that he had “learned” his lesson.

Hey Old Ball (sac) Coach here’s the other slip up and another is being investigated your boy hasn’t learned jackshit.

Last Saturday it seems Garcia, offensive lineman Heath Batchelor and walk-on quarterback Zac Brindise were having a mini-Mensa meeting outside the East Quad dormitory around 6:30 p.m.

After several complaints of loud noise in the courtyard between the East and South Quad dormitories, the Po Po was called. There they discover this meeting of young brilliant minds debating Einstein’s theory of Relativity, the writings of Nietzsche & whether it’s best to change the bong water daily or let it sit awhile. The Po Po also discovered coolers of beer which was supplied to them by Garcia’s older creepy brother.

All three USC football players were charged with underage drinking while Garcia’s brother was charged with transferring beer to a minor. Heath Batchelor parents are rather distraught considering his strict Amish upbringing. At least he looks Amish from the photo.


Let’s get drunk & churn us some Old Ball (sac) Coach butter!

Garcia paid a fine of $257.50 in Columbia magistrate’s court Monday on the underage drinking charge, according to his attorney, Neal “Johnnie Cochran Jr.” Lourie. Garcia’s license will be suspended for four months, but he will be able to drive his moped. At least Garcia didn’t embarrasse himself any further by asking for a jury trial.

But that’s not the end of story dear readers, some five hours later officers interviewed Garcia again after police and the Columbia fire department responded to a fire alarm at the dorm at 11 p.m. Authorities discovered an extinguisher had been discharged on the third floor of the dorm.

Garcia told police he discharged the extinguisher after noticing sparks coming from his electric bong stove, according to the incident report. Garcia is listed as a suspect on the report, but has not been charged. McKinney said the incident remains under investigation.

Under USC athletic department policy, athletes who are arrested face automatic suspensions that can last from 30 minutes or even a whole day. It is unclear whether the same discipline applies to athletes issued citations by police. Of course that doesn’t make a difference because Garcia wasn’t going to be able to practice anyway because he has already missed classes this semester.

Why he would miss classes is beyond me, after all he has been a student at South Carolina for over a year now and yet he’s still a freshman! Plus does this jeopardize his PTI (Pre Trial Intervention) status? The judge did warn him that one more slip up could mean trouble for him.

Instead of being a Cock of balls, Spurrier has elected to leave the fate of Garcia to school officials. Which is strange when he wants or needs something he’s usually the one to tell the school how to do things.

“Stephen Garcia’s fate is in the hands of the University of South Carolina,” Spurrier told reporters Monday night following practice. “He may be out here or he may not, we’ll just have to wait and see.

.

Asked to clarify, Spurrier said: “They’ve got a president. They’ve got an athletic director. They’ve got a dean. They’ve got a whole bunch of people over there. So if they say he’s here, he’ll be here, OK? His fate is out of my hands. Let’s put it that way.”

Wow, God Spurrier sounds testy. Maybe it’s because his lack of discipline is finally catching up with him or maybe it’s because he knows that a certain Florida coach is rubbing his foreskin vigorously at the thought of being able to pick up Garcia.

A timetable for when the university may make their decision is not yet known so with a little influence from Spurrier, punishment could happen in 2-3 years…depending if Garcia goes pro early.

To view Stephen Garcia’s ticket, click here.

To view Stephen Garcia’s incident report, click here.

To view Gary Garcia’s ticket, click here.

To view Zac Brandise’s ticket, click here.

To view Heath Batchelor’s ticket, click here.

 

Another unidentified USC football player getting harassed by “the man”.

Posted in Crime & Punishment, Discipline, dumbass, Johnnie Cochran, moped, moral victories, moron, Po Po, PTI, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Stephen Garcia, Steve Spurrier | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »