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Archive for the ‘Texas Longhorns’ Category

College Football Week 2 is in the books & here’s what I learned

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 7, 2008

First off everyone stop for a moment and point and laugh at the Big Least. The years of fooling the college football world with smoke and mirrors and weak scheduling are over.

WVU falls to East Carolina and it was never even close. Somewhere Rich Rodriguez is laughing because he never lost to East Carolina.

How hot is the name “Skip Holtz” right now? I’ve been to various teams message boards since yesterday and a lot teams whose coaches are in the hot seat want him. For example:…………………………………………………………………………………………………..

………………………………………………………………………..

  • South Carolina
  • Clemson
  • Tennessee
  • Syracuse
  • Arkansas
  • Louisville
  • Washington
  • Pittsburgh
  • Notre Dame

Speaking of Syracuse how is it pathetic to lose to Akron. Other Big Least fail boats are Uconn & Pittsburgh. Sure Uconn won yesterday but it took an overtime to beat Temple. Are you kidding me? And Pitt struggled with Buffalo.

The best team in the Big Least is Cincinnati. Sure they lost yesterday but it’s difficult to go to Oklahoma and win.

Oh yeah you can continue pointing and laughing at the ACC. Way to go Maryland.

Ohio State should drop in the polls due to their dismal performance against Ohio.

Miami will be scary good by the middle of this season. And what a rank amateur move it was on Urban Meyer’s part to kick that last field goal. He could have let Miami have the ball on the 10 yard line. That was disgraceful.

Something else that is disgraceful is the PAC 10 refs. What an idiotic call yesterday involving Washington and BYU.

Arkansas better step it up or they will not win a conference game all year.

Notre Dame Football still sucks. If San Diego St. didn’t make some stupid mistakes they would have won that game.

Under the raider teams

  • Nebraska
  • Mississippi (I always knew Coach 0 could recruit now they have a coach.)
  • Clemson they will bounce back
  • Air Force
  • F$U
  • Cal
  • Georgia Tech
  • Iowa
  • Purdue
  • Oklahoma State
  • Vandy
  • TCU
  • Kansas St.
  • Arizona
  • Indiana

Teams that impressed

  • East Carolina
  • Wisconsin
  • Georgia
  • Oregon
  • Kentucky
  • Cal
  • Miami in a loss that game was closer than what the score dictates
  • Texas
  • Oklahoma
  • Missouri
  • TCU

Teams that failed to impress

  • Ohio State
  • Michigan
  • Illinois
  • Auburn
  • Texas A&M
  • Arkansas
  • Alabama
  • Kansas
  • South Florida
  • Utah
  • Texas Tech.
  • Texas

Schools that might be looking a new coach next year

  • Arkansas
  • Syracuse (that guy is a goner)
  • Pitt (him to)
  • Texas A&M
  • Tennessee (I had to)
  • Michigan
  • Washington
  • Colorado
  • Notre Dame
  • Virginia
  • Maryland
  • Memphis
  • Louisville

Even the water girls of Ole Miss are hotties much like their cheerleaders.

The Miami cheerleaders are hot in a soft-core porn sort of way

Georgia’s cheerleaders are so-so

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Posted in Air Force, Alabama Crimson Tide, Arkansas Razorbacks, Auburn, BCS, Big East, big ten football, Big Twelve Football, BYU, Cal, Clemson Tigers, Colorado Buffalos, Conference USA, East Carolina Pirates, fire philip fulmer, Florida Gators, Florida State Seminoles, FSU, Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, Houston Nutt, Iowa Hawkeyes, K-State, kansas jayhawks, Kansas State Wildcats, Kentucky Wildcats, Louisville Cardinals, Maryland, Memphis Tigers, Michigan Wolverines, Missouri Tigers, Nebraska Cornhuskers, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, notre dame sucks, ohio state buckeyes, Oklahoma sooners, ole miss rebels, Pac 10 football, Penn State Nittany Lions, Pitt Panthers, refs, SEC Football, Skip Holtz, South Florida Bulls, Sports, Tennessee Volunteers, Texas Christian, Texas Longhorns, Texas Tech Red Raiders, The Big East, tOSU, Uconn, Uga, University of California berkeley, University of South Florida, Urban Meyer, Vanderbilt Commodores, Virginia Cavaliers, Wake Forest, War Eagle, Washington Huskies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Hells Yeah!!! The SEC rulez in this Top 20 poll as well!!!!

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 29, 2008

We all know the SEC generally dominates the football polls this year; well they also dominate the Princeton Review list of top party schools in the country!!!

Let’s break it down peeps.

1. University of Florida. Guns, sweet sticky icky weed & Tebow.

2. University of Mississippi. The Grove, the cheerleaders & Jerrell Powe

3. Penn State University. Joe Pa, a shitload of arrests and the Penn State Paranormal Research Society

4. West Virginia University. Deliverance, igniting couches & Rich Rodriguez

5. Ohio University. At least they can beat tOSU at something

6. Randolph-Macon College. Who the hell is this? Seriously

7. University of Georgia. Uga, the umpteen million personalities Herschel Walker & fans that paint their heads

8. University of Texas. Dope head/actor Matthew Mcconaughey, Bevo & Mac Brown

9. University of California-Santa Barbara. Mascot looks like a psychotic Hamburglar

10. Florida State University The Cowgirls, Bowden & wondering if he will ever retire.

11. University of New Hampshire. Like there is anything better to do there.

12. University of Iowa. Sex scandal, Haden Frye and still sucking at football

13. University of Colorado. Ralphie, Hawkins and see above

14. University of Indiana. Bobby Knight, text messaging fool Sampson & basketball season doesn’t look good next year

15. Tulane University. The green wave due to puke

16. University of Illinois. The Fighter Zookers enough said

17. Arizona State University. Ugly school colors, PAC 10 & Eckerson NCAA sanctions to follow

18. University of Tennessee. GO VOLS! Cumberland Ave. Rocky Top & Smokey!

19. University of Alabama. Cheaters, Dead Behr & Subpoenas

20. Loyola University. The French Quarter and attempting to out drink Tulane.

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, alcoholics, Arizona State Sundevils, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Colorado Buffalos, Fighting Illini, Florida Gators, Florida State Seminoles, Florida Sucks, Georgia Bulldogs, Jerrell Powe, ole miss rebels, Rocky Top, SEC, Texas Longhorns, Uga, West Virginia Mountaineers, WVU, Zooker | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

The Little Known Features of EA Sports NCAA 2009 Football

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 15, 2008

Find your overrated school cover here

Well well well…today is the day that EA sports NCAA 2009 is released. There are many new features that aren’t gathering the attention they deserve, let’s go over some.

When you’re playing as Tennessee the more you lose the more stress is placed on the Great Battle Captain Phil Fulmer thus resulting in weight loss. Go for the male swimsuit model look! There’s also a special code that allows to take a virtual tour of Knoxville via police ride-a-longs. Sweet!

If you’re playing as Ohio State & make it to the BCS championship game but you’re paired against a SEC team…go ahead and press reset, you’ve automatically lost. Another note when you’re playing as Ohio State you can bypass playing Michigan game, you’ll win it every time so why waste your time.

There’s a secret Jimmy Johns mode when playing as Alabama where you can snort some of the end zone chalk.

While playing as Michigan if any opposing team makes fun of the fact you lost to Appy State you’re allowed to kick their mascot.

If you’re playing as Penn State and Joe Pa breaks his leg you can have him shot & put him out of his misery.

If you’re playing as Oklahoma and make it to a BCS bowl game just press reset you can’t win.

If you lose a game while playing as South Carolina you’re allowed to try and decapitate the opposing coach with Spurrier’s visor.

If you defeat Texas for the national championship you can kill and grill Bevo the Texas mascot or Matthew Mcconaughey your choice.

While playing as Alabama, Florida or South Carolina you’re allowed to comment crimes as players and then bail them out, supply them a lawyer and attend the trials as a spectator. There are also special codes of all three schools that allow you to use bongs, guns and stolen merchandise as “recruiting tools”.

While playing as Georgia you can have Uga defecate on any opposing coach’s shoe.

While playing against Michigan you can have the INS arrest and detain Rich Rodriguez for not having a green card on his person at the time.

If you lose to Louisiana-Monroe while playing as Alabama, you can send EA Sports a screen shot of the final score and they will ship you a loaded gun to kill yourself with, because no one should lose to them in real life much less during a freaking video game.

While playing as West Virginia you have a secret weapon in using the enormously ugly chicks as cheerleaders like the Angry Err posted here at LWS.

When playing as Ole Miss you can send dirty and obscene text messages to blond female members of press. Much like Houston Nutt did while at Arkansas.

When playing against Auburn at Auburn you have a brief window of opportunity to shoot down the eagle mascot in mid flight.

Speaking of Arkansas when you’re in coach mode you can up and quit without notice.

While playing as LSU, the more you win the bigger Les Miles’ hat gets.

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Appalachian State, Arkansas Razorbacks, Bama Sucks, BCS, big ten football, Big Twelve Football, Bobby Petrino, Coach Rich Rodriguez, Florida Gators, Gator Gangsters, Georgia Bulldogs, Joe Pa, Joe Paterno, Les Miles, LSU Tigers, Michigan Wolverines, Oklahoma sooners, ole miss rebels, Penn State Nittany Lions, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Steve Spurrier, Texas Longhorns, West Virginia Mountaineers | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Texas Shorthorns

Posted by Joel Jackson on March 30, 2008

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The stars at night-are small and light

Deep in the heart of Texas.

Longhorn shots-are high and wide

Deep in the heart of Texas.

D Rose in bloom-is like perfume

Deep in the heart of Texas.

Reminds me of-the Tiger Blue

Deep in the heart of Texas.

The cowboys cry-oh why oh why

Deep in the heart of Texas.

Shawn Taggart rush-and Dorsey must

Deep in the heart of Texas.

Augustin wails-along the trail

Deep in the heart of Texas.

The Longhorns bawl-and bawl and bawl

Deep in the heart of Texas.

Posted in aggies, Ass Whipping, basketball, Big 12, bongs, boo birds, boosters, College Basketball, Conference USA, drugs, dumbass, Memphis Tigers, NCAA, Texas Longhorns | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

A Visitor’s Guide to Houston

Posted by Joel Jackson on March 24, 2008

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I have been a resident of Houston (for better or worse) for 5 years now. No, I am not a Houstonian or even worse, a Texan, but this is a helpful guide for you fans of Michigan St., Stanford, or God’s team, Memphis, that will be coming here to cheer your team at beautiful Reliant Stadium. For once, someone will actually win something at reliant Stadium, seeing as though it is also the home field for the NFL’s Houston Texans. Yes I know I omitted the Texas Longhorns, but as much as they play in Houston and considering this is their home state, essentially it is a homecoming. Plus, the dope boys are excited because Matthew McGodhesgay will be here to root on his Longhorns, meaning an instant boost of the sticky icky sales for this year…

Travel

*There are 2 main airports here: George H.W. Bush Intercontinental Airport & William P. Hobby Airport. Hobby is the much smaller airport and less overall hassle, but from my experience, Bush is a little bit more efficient. I just have issues with the airport’s name.

*Avoid if at all possible all major interstates and highways between the hours of 6 am-7 pm Monday-Friday and especially I-45S towards Galveston and I-10W towards Katy on weekends. The more side streets that you can find, the better.

*The cabs inside the loop are pretty efficient, but just as in New York, Chicago, and LA, you might need to carry at least a foreign language dictionary. Pick one.

*Metro Bus System absolutely sucks. If anyone is big time enough to stay downtown, there is a light rail system that will transport you from downtown to Reliant Park, but a word of caution: The light rail is super quiet. What this means is that if you are either walking or driving your car and you are not paying attention, you will get run over.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Marijuana, mary jane, Memphis Tigers, Michigan State Spartons, NCAA, Sports, stupid, Texas Longhorns | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments »

Then there were 32…Alternate Title…My Brackets are Eff’ed Up

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 22, 2008

Upsets always happen in this tournament and round one proved no exception. My brackets are screwed up now. Sheesh.

My beloved Vols held their own and thwarted a late rally against the communist of American University.

Curry of Davidson became a legend as his team beat Gonzaga. I picked Davidson thank God.

Saint Mary’s was no match against Miami. Miami might be the most overlooked team in tourney.

Western Kentucky defeated America’s sweetheart team of Drake with a last second three pointer. Thanks Drake you screwed up my bracket.

South Alabama proved no match against Butler. The way Butler played I wouldn’t be surprised to see them defeat my beloved Vols.

Georgetown beat up on UMBC…yawn

Texas beat up Austin Peay…another yawn

But wait…on overtime game which saw UCONN get defeated by San Diego. Thanks UCONN you again proved you’re useless to me.

North Carolina looked like the number one should by scoring over a hundred against a hapless Mount St. Mary’s squad.

Oklahoma showed that people might have been overlooking them by defeated St. Joe’s handedly.

Vanderbilt embarrassed themselves and the SEC by losing to Siena. Thanks Vandy…you terds.

Miss. State rallied big time to defeat Oregon, another team the shouldn’t have been there.

Arkansas is jelling and Indiana is exited early so them can text Sampson whining.

Louisville attempts to make the case that for this year they are the best team out of Kentucky as they defeated Boise State.

Villanova defeated Clemson. Another five seed goes down to the twelve seed. Villanova’s tourney experience helped them mount a comeback. At one time Clemson led 32-18 in the first half. Nova won by six.

Memphis beat up on Texas-Arlington or as I have renamed them the University of Hank Hill.


Hank Hill with a young Billy Gillispie

Posted in Arkansas Razorbacks, Billy Gillispie, Boise State, Butler, Clemson Tigers, Davidson, Drake, Georgetown Hoyas, Go Vols, Gonzaga, Indiana Hoosiers, Louisville Cardinals, Memphis Tigers, Miami hurricanes, North Carolina Tarheels, Oklahoma sooners, Saint Mary's, Siena, South Alabama, Tennessee Volunteers, Texas Longhorns, Uconn, Vanderbilt, vandy, Villanova, Western Kentucky | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

There’s An Axe Swinging At ESPN/ABC

Posted by Joel Jackson on February 11, 2008

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In today’s USA Today, it is reported that Michele Tafoya and Suzy Kolber will have reduced roles during their Monday Night Football telecasts. As of right now, there is no word as to what exactly their new roles will be. According to ESPN’s Mike Soltys, “There precise roles are yet to be determined.” Also, on the ABC Sports side, contracts of Dan Fouts and Tim Brandt will not be renewed. Fouts and Brandt mostly worked on Pac-10 games.

Tafoya and Kolber should not be the only changes on the Monday Night Football broadcast. Kornheiser needs to go. While I am not that familiar with his columns, I thought he did a great on the radio and works well with Mike Wilbon on PTI. In the broadcast booth, he is no better than Dennis Miller. At least he doesn’t try to use words from an SAT study guide like Miller commonly does. Personally, I would like to see Mike “Sexual Harassment” Tirico go too. Give some young and up and coming broadcaster the gig. Also, if they want to upgrade from Tafoya and Kolber, America’s Favorite Gator Erin Andrews is available.

As for Fouts and Brandt, I thought they were great on the telecast. Personally, I thought they made the best broadcast team that ABC/ESPN had for football coverage. I think the problem was that they focused on the details of the game. X’s and O’s were their thing. This is the ABC/ESPN mindset: Who needs X’s and O’s and who wants to learn more about the game, when Matthew McGodhesgay is down there in the student section??? Let’s put a shirt on that guy, take that Texas sized spliff out of his hands, and bring him up to the booth so he can talk about his Longhorns. After all, nothing says Longhorn football like a shirtless neo-conservative playing the bongos and having a case of the munchies.

Here is my personal list of people I think need to be let go by ESPN specifically:

*Stuart Scott-Can a man be so much of a walking cliche??? He was cool back in 1997 and has aged since.

*Colin Cowherd-Bring back Kornheiser on the radio. Cowherd belongs on Fox Sports Radio. Douchebag.

*Sean Salisbury-Do I honestly need a reason here???

*Kirk Herbstreit-Pretty boy QB with the analytical abilities of a 5 year old Madden gamer.

*Skip Bayless-He’s another guy that believes his own press clippings too much.

*Mike Lupica-Suffers from “Little Man Syndrome” and probably Erectile Dysfunction.

* Any of the Baseball Tonight Crew Not Named Karl Ravech, Peter Gammons, or Buster Olney.

*Rachel Nichols-I think she would be cool not in front of the camera. She doesn’t blink for God’s sake. Freaky…

*Mike & Mike-Insert gay & meathead joke here.

I know I left out the usual names like Berman, Musberger, Mike Patrick, Dana Jacobson. They always give us great YouTube clips, so I think they should stay. Plus, I heard Dana Jacobsen loves to party. Also, I left out overrated RB Emmitt Smith. I know he can’t talk, but if they send him to ESPN Deportes for about 3 months so he can learn Spanish, he just might do better. Just keep him away from Adriana Monsalve

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Posted in ACC, ACC Football, alcoholics, All SEC Teams Beware!!, baseball, basketball, big 10, Big 12, Big East, big ten, big ten football, Big Twelve Football, Chris Berman, College Basketball, College Football, College Gameday, ESPN, fired, Florida, Florida Gators, Gator mafia, Internet Rumors, legal troubles, Major League Baseball, MLB, NBA, NCAA, NFL, NFL Football, Sexual-Harassment Case, steroids, Stu Scott, stupid, Texas Longhorns | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments »

Project “Find An Offense Coordinator Like the Bear Had” Could Begin Soon

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 15, 2008

In move I find shocking and utterly hilarious, Alabama offensive coordinator Major Applewhite seems to be ever so close to telling Saban to screw you jakehole I’m going home. Several published reports in Texas on Monday night said Applewhite is a prime candidate to join Mack Brown’s staff at the University of Texas.

The only vacancy on the Longhorns staff is for running backs coach. But the job could be sweetened by adding a title such as assistant head coach. Of Bama has no comment on the situation. (As always)

The newspapers cited anonymous sources within the Texas program. If Applewhite takes the job it would be his fourth in as many years. Jesus, dude learn to hold a job for more than a year.

It figures Applewhite would want to go back too the Big “We really really suck but not as bad as the Big 10” Twelve. I mean imagine the pressure he must have gone through working with Saban to get a stellar 7-6 team. Plus Texas doesn’t play Oh La La either.

Alabama already has a vacancy after special teams coordinator/tight ends coach Ron Middleton left to become associate head coach at Duke. I find that sad. I mean why leave an SEC school like Bama to take an associate head coaching job at graveyard Duke. If he stayed at Bama he might have been the head coach there within three years. God knows they seem to go though them.

Applewhite was hired by Saban last January after Jimbo Fisher said hell no I’m not working for Saban. Applewhite has also been a key recruiter for the Tide even though if he takes the Texas job those recruits will likely follow.

Applewhite is the fourth-highest paid coach of Saban’s nine-man, on-field staff. Applewhite makes $250,000 annually and is one of only three coaches on the staff with a three-year contract but all the money in the world might not make stay another year with Saban.

This I proclaim on 1/15/08.

TtT

 

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Bear is Dead, Big Twelve Football, Nick Saban, Texas Longhorns | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

This song is for Chris Jessee

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 28, 2007

You know what sucks worse than having the flu and laryngitis on Christmas day? Being Chris Jessee that’s what. You see Chris Jessee is the stepson of Mack Brown and a member of the University of Texas football operations staff, who like a dumbass, was a few feet on the field and reached out to touch a live ball in the second quarter, taking away what would have been a huge turnover for the Longhorns and setting up a touchdown for Arizona State.

It must be hard being Chris Jessee. He is always constantly trying to live up to his step fathers expectations and he resembles Jimmy Clausen. So, since I know it sucks being around the holidays, I’ve come up with a catchy song that Bud Light can use for their “Real Men of Genius” series. I’m going to submit it to them and hopefully they’ll use it. If so then I’ll be sure to let Chris Jessee know that he was the inspiration and hopefully that’ll make him better and less like a complete moron.

Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Genius

(real men of genius)

Today we salute you, Mr. I’m a coach thanks to nepotism.

(Mr. I’m a coach thanks to nepotism)

You’ve shown us the real American dream: no skills, no future but thankfully the man banging your mom is a coach and he made you a coach as well

(Thank you mom for being a whore)

You stare in space during team meetings, forget when the season really starts & try to nail every cheerleader on campus.

(Rufees are my friend!)

And when you finally were allowed to stand on the sidelines during a big game, you touch a live ball.

(Hey mom I’m on TV)

People will always wonder why you aren’t fired even though you’re “family”.

(I caught dad masturbating to Flex magazine)

So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, Coach Nepotism. You know the way to a man’s heart…you’re mom and the guilt trip you can lay because you’re real father isn’t around.

(Mr. I’m a coach thanks to nepotism)

Yeah I’m feeling better. Some of you might have noticed I haven’t been around. Well, duh…I’ve had the flu. So sorry to disappoint the few people that noticed my absence and sent e-mails wanting to know where I was buried so they may go defecate on my grave, I’m still around…and I’m feeling better bitches.

I’ve got a fresh bottle of Haterade and I intend to drink it and grab refills…

So I profess on this day 12/28/07.

TtT

Posted in Arizona State Sundevils, chris jessee, dumbass, moron, stupid, Texas Longhorns | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Fresh Off the Press YMSWWC’S 2007 Bowl Guide

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 7, 2007

Fresh off the presses and in time to call your bookie, here are mine and Joel’s bowl picks.

  • POINSETTIA BOWL San Diego
    Dec. 20, 9 p.m. (ESPN) Utah (8-4) vs. Navy (8-4)
  • Joel: Navy-Always gotta pick a Service Academy out of respect
  • Me: Navy-Because they beat Notre Dame, UCLA can’t say that
  • NEW ORLEANS BOWL New Orleans
    Dec. 21, 8 p.m. (ESPN2) Florida Atlantic (7-5) vs. Memphis (7-5)
  • Joel: Memphis-Total homer pick
  • Me: Florida-Atlantic because I hate Tommy West
  • PAPAJOHNS.COM BOWL Birmingham, Ala.
  • Dec. 22, 1 p.m. (ESPN2) Cincinnati (9-3) vs. Southern Miss (7-5)
  • Joel: Cincinnati-Brett Favre ain’t walking through that door for Southern Miss
  • Me: Cincinnati -One of the Big Least teams has to win
  • NEW MEXICO BOWL Albuquerque, N.M.
    Dec. 22, 4:30 p.m. (ESPN) New Mexico (8-4) vs. Nevada (6-6)
  • Joel: New Mexico-I got nothing for New Mexico
  • Me: Honestly I could care less who ever Jol picked
  • LAS VEGAS BOWL Las Vegas
    Dec. 22, 8 p.m. (ESPN) BYU (10-2) vs. UCLA (6-6)
  • Joel: BYU-The Fightin’ Polygamists
  • Me: BYU- UCLA has no coach and Big Love is a good show
  • HAWAII BOWL Honolulu, Hawaii
    Dec. 23, 8 p.m. (ESPN) East Carolina (7-5) vs. Boise State (10-2)
  • Joel: Boise St.-Please not another cheerleader proposal
  • Me: East Carolina-Why?Who the hell knows
  • MOTOR CITY Detroit
    Dec. 26, 7:30 p.m. (ESPN) Central Michigan (8-5) vs. Purdue (7-5)
  • Joel: Central Michigan-Why is Joe Tiller still a coach???
  • Me: Purdue-Because Joe Tiller is the God of mediocre coaches.
  • HOLIDAY BOWL San Diego
    Dec. 27, 8 p.m. (ESPN) Arizona State (10-2) vs. Texas (9-3)
  • Joel: Texas-Longhorns returns to their San Diego winter home & I get to hear them bitch about it. I should pick against them
  • Me: Texas-ASU has shown me nothing and their coach is a douche.
  • CHAMPS SPORTS BOWL Orlando, Fla.
    Dec. 28, 5 p.m. (ESPN) Boston College (10-3) vs. Michigan State (7-5)
  • Joel: Boston College-The Spartans have broken my heart & bank account too many times over the years
  • Me: BC-Michigan State sucks
  • TEXAS BOWL Houston
    Dec. 28, 8 p.m. (NFL Network) TCU (7-5) vs. Houston (8-4)
  • Joel: TCU-Houston has no coach because Art Briles took the death sentence…I mean Baylor job…
  • Me: TCU-Coolest Mascot name “The Horny Toads”
  • EMERALD BOWL San Francisco
    Dec. 28, 8:30 p.m. (ESPN) Maryland (6-6) vs. Oregon State (8-4)
  • Joel: Oregon St.-Love the nickname “Beavers”, as in plural. Just keep the gay rams away
  • Me: Maryland-Fattie Ralph always wins these types of games
  • MEINEKE CAR CARE BOWL Charlotte, N.C.
    Dec. 29, 1 p.m. (ESPN) UConn (9-3) vs. Wake Forest (8-4)
  • Joel: Wake Forest-In a battle of Dunkin Donuts (UConn) vs. Krispy Kremes (WF), gotta go with the Southern favorite
  • Me: Wake Forest-because they’re playing a Big Least team
  • LIBERTY BOWL Memphis, Tenn.
    Dec. 29, 4:30 p.m. (ESPN) Mississippi State (7-5) vs. UCF (10-3)
  • Joel: Miss. St-More Cowbell
  • Me: Miss State-Let the Crooming begin!
  • ALAMO BOWL San Antonio
    Dec. 29, 8 p.m. (ESPN) Penn State (8-4) vs. Texas A&M (7-5)
  • Joel: Penn St.-Does JoePa realize he is GREATLY overpaid???
  • Me: Penn St.-Texas A&M’s newest coach is to busy being an assistant for a losing NFL team.
  • INDEPENDENCE BOWL Shreveport, La.
  • Dec. 30, 8 p.m. (ESPN) Colorado (6-6) vs. Alabama (6-6)
  • Joel: Colorado-Alabama won’t be beaten by the Fightin Nutria of Louisiana-Monroe, but they can eat some in Shreveport. Nothin’ says luvin’ like nutria in the oven
  • Me: This is bullshit!!! Joel & I had a rock, paper, scissors contest. The winner got to choose Colorado. He cheated so I’m forced to pick Alabama.
  • ARMED FORCES BOWL Fort Worth, Texas
  • Dec. 31, 12:30 p.m. (ESPN) Cal (6-6) vs. Air Force (9-3)
  • Joel: Air Force-A motivated serviceman vs. an unmotivated hippie??? Gee, I wonder who to pick
  • Me: Air Force-Because Cal seems to be the South Carolina of the PAC 10. (snicker)
  • SUN BOWL El Paso, Texas
    Dec. 31, 2 p.m.(ESPN) USF (9-3) vs. Oregon (8-4)
  • Joel: South Florida-Which team is worse right now???
  • Me: Oregon-Ryan Leaf’s younger brother is playing well, making Ryan look less douche like.
  • HUMANITARIAN BOWL Boise, Idaho
    Dec. 31, 2 p.m. (ESPN2) Fresno State (8-4) vs. Georgia Tech (7-5)
  • Joel: Fresno St.-Love the Bulldogs coach Craig Stadler, I mean Paul Teutel, I mean Pat Hill. Has one man reminded you of so many???
  • Me: Fresno St-The only conference that is as bad as the Big Least is the ACC. And GT is coach-less. Read the rest of this entry »

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