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Archive for the ‘ugly wives’ Category

Jigaboos vs. Wannabees

Posted by Joel Jackson on March 20, 2008

Jigaboos are smart, athletic, natural, and talented. Jigaboos are every woman. Wannabees are special. They take pride in their appearance. They are not afraid of perfection, even if it means more time spent on themselves and the others around them.

Jigaboos are led by a person who tries to look out for their own interests, yet is not afraid to capitalize on her own individual success. Wannabees have a fearless leader who would rather stay the course as opposed to jumping from one place to another.

Whenever Jigaboos and Wannabees play each other, the Wannabees win. Wannabees win championships, sometimes defeating Jigaboos if necessary. The Jigaboos are jealous of the Wannabees recent victory. Wannabees are not complaining at all. Jigaboos have enlisted the help of someone of ancient descent to complain to the higher powers that the last matchup was not fair. Wannabees shrug it off.

Jigaboos are just jealous that they are not proud winners like the Wannabees. Jigaboos, deep down inside, want to be pretty like Wannabees. Jigaboos should just shut up and play.

As you can tell, I am a Wannabee fan. Rocky Top Wannabee…

Posted in basketball, Big East, karma, mentally challenged, moral victories, NCAA, nickelback sucks, retarded, Rips Media, Rocky Top, Rutgers, Tennessee, Tennessee Volunteers, The Big East, ugly wives, UT vols | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

What Do You Do, Coach Stew???

Posted by Joel Jackson on March 14, 2008


Well what a banner day for West Virginia University. Freshman sensation Noel Devine, along with his 3 henchmen, were (finally) arrested for the Feb. 13 incident outside of Club Z. Apparently Devine took time out of his busy schedule of doing the Superman while at the club and started a little static. The 4 future brain surgeons have been charged with battery, and have pleaded no contest.

Now, this puts our new favorite undefeated coach Bill Stewart in an interesting conundrum. Earlier, he suspended 3 players for drug possession. A certain someone thought that Stewart would be up the creek when/if his star player was arrested. Well guess what has happened…

What does Stewart do??? Does he a) kick his star RB off the team and continue the precedent that he has set, b) tell the Mountaineer clan to wait until the legal process has been done (keeping in mind that he didn’t do that during the first incident, but could be spun as “I overreacted”) or, c) only suspend Devine and the Crew for spring practice, and still keep them fresh for the upcoming year???

Well if Stewart were an SEC coach, he would put Devine on “Double Super Secret Probation”, or take an approach similar to Thomas’ favorite coach, Steve Superior. There is also the ‘Bama approach where the charges “mysteriously” are dropped. How about police ride alongs, Fulmer style??? Whichever he decides will determine the course of the Mountaineer football season. None of this will matter much anyway, considering Jim Leavitt and the USF Bulls treat ‘Eers like their own personal chew toy. (Thanks Thomas. The one day this week I write and you beat me to the punch).

Oh, nothing major on the WVU v. Rodriguez case, but I did happen to stumble across this tasty morsel of news: The school is now getting sued, no less than by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, the most trusted source of Mountaineer news. The school has not been entirely cooperative when it comes to the Freedom of Information Act (see Nutt, Houston). This goes back to the newspaper’s investigation into whether Gov. Manchin’s daughter actually earned her MBA, as the school’s records were “imcomplete”. Seems as though certain records, such as phone logs, e-mails, and other information has either been withheld or redacted from the newspaper. Now I am no lawyer (maybe LawVol can offer up some more details without going too much in boring detail speak), but I know enough about the FOIA that public records must be turned over in a timely manner, except those not required by law. Also keep in mind that school Mike Garrison is himself a lawyer by trade, and should be well-versed on such legalities. Maybe their legal department has been so busy trying to collect a check from Rodriguez that they didn’t think that they themselves could get sued. Isn’t it a great day to be a Mountaineer??? What is that I see??? I think those are the outstretched arms of the God of Mediocrityland, welcoming WVU back and sitting them next to Syracuse. How special…

Posted in Coker, College Football, Conspiracy Theory, Crime & Punishment, retarded, road rage, satire, Scams, scandal, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, South Florida Bulls, Sports, Steve Spurrier, stupid, suicide, Superman, Syacuse, team spirit, trailer trash, ugly wives, University of South Florida, USA Today, USC, USF, West Virginia, West Virginia Mountaineers, whiners, WVU | Tagged: , , , , | 3 Comments »

For The Thug Who Has Everything

Posted by Joel Jackson on January 29, 2008


Now this is a present. This game is basically a Monopoly, but instead of “Go To Jail”, you try to break out of jail and/or get parole. This is a description of the game from the official website:

Fight your way through 6 different exciting locations in hopes of being granted parole. Escape prison riots in The Yard, slip glass into a mob boss’ lasagna in the Cafeteria, steal painkillers from the nurse’s desk in the Infirmary, avoid being cornered by the Aryans in the Shower Room, fight off Latin Kings in Gang War, and try not to smoke your entire stash in The Hole.

The artistry of each handcrafted piece is matched with comparable humor & intelligence on every card. Stack your smokes, sharpen your shank, and get ready for an experience that only someone on the outside could appreciate.

Wow. What more can be said. Check out the game pieces. Who among us played Monopoly as a kid and thought “Wouldn’t it be cool if instead of a thimble I could use a Glock as my game piece???”

What’s the sports connection??? Well let’s see: The founder of the company and game is John Sebelius, son of Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius. Kansas is where America’s “favorite” marijuana smuggling (and smoking), lawsuit avoiding, Valtrex popping, inaccurate throwing, dog killing QB Michael Vick is currently doing his time. But let’s think of the endless possibilities..

How about a “Playmakers” Edition featuring O.J., his white Bronco, memorabilia, copy of “If I Did It”, and a Naked Gun DVD for playing pieces???

Or a “Ballers” Edition, with Kobe attached to a blonde female hotel clerk, Roy Tarpley, transcripts of Tim Donaghy’s gambling probe, Jack Sikma’s perm, and WNBA TV Ratings???

Lastly, what about a “Juiced” version, with Jose Canseco, Barry Bonds, Marion Jones, a syringe, and a torn record book???

If they market this game right, it could be a gold mine. Of course, someone needs to mail some of these games to all SEC schools, so they can play as part of the “Super Secret Double Probation”…

Posted in Alabama, Alabama Crimson Tide, alcoholics, All SEC Teams Beware!!, Arkansas, Arkansas Razorbacks, armed robbery, ass chewing, Ass Whipping, Auburn, bad calls, bad drivers, bad newz kennels, Bammers, baseball, basketball, BCS, bongs, boo birds, boosters, cheaters, classless, College Basketball, College Football, conVick, court tv, crazy, Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, Crimson Tide, DAvid Stern, Dawgs, Dead Drunk, Discipline, divorce court, dog fighting, drugs, DUI, dumbass, Ed Orgeron, ESPN, FBI, Feds, Fines, fired, Florida, Florida Gators, Florida State Seminoles, football, FSU, Fulmer, gambling, Gamecocks, Gator Gangsters, Gator mafia, Georgia, Georgia Bulldogs, Go Vols, God, Goodell, guilty, Herban, Herban Meyer, ho, hooker, Houston Nutt, Internet Rumors, Isiah Thomas, James Dolan, Johnnie Cochran, Judge Judy, killer, Kobe, legal troubles, Little Bitch, LSU Tigers, Major League Baseball, marcus vick, Marijuana, mary jane, Michael Vick, michael vick pleads guilty, mississippi state bulldogs, Mitchell Report, MLB, mobsters, moron, murderer, NBA, NCAA, New York Knicks, NFL, NFL Football, nickelback sucks, notre dame sucks, NRA, NWA, OJ, OJ Simpson, Ole Miss, ole miss rebels, oliver stone, ookie, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Pacman, Pacman Jones, Phillip Fulmer, pimps, pitbull, Po Po, Police, pot, Prison for Vick, refs, repo, Ricky Williams, riots, satire, Scams, scandal, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, secrets, Sports, Stephon Marbury, steroids, stupid, taser, taxes, team spirit, Tennessee, Tennessee Volunteers, The Juice, Touchdown Jesus, trader, trailer trash, ugly wives, upsets, Vick, Vick Plea, VIP Connection, vols, walk-on, West Virginia, West Virginia Mountaineers, whiners, white trash, whore, WVU, zeke | 1 Comment »

Colleen Bellotti and the Family Nanny Will Whip Your Ass!!!

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 30, 2007

This woman and her posse will kick your ass read on!

On Saturday 10/20/07, John Canzano a professional blogger and sports talk radio host in Oregon, wrote an interesting story about how Luke Bellotti, part-time kicker & the son of the Oregon Ducks football head coach, pleaded guilty to his second DUI. He brings up the point that Oregon suspended receiver Derrick Jones indefinitely for “a violation of team rules.” And a few weeks before that, the school announced, in a lengthy, detailed news release, that it was suspending the Ducks’ mascot for fighting with the Houston Cougars mascot. Mascot fights rule damn it!!!

Somehow the university didn’t mention anything about the trouble of the head coaches son until he walked into a court facing two years of probation, a $1,000 fine, the loss of his driver’s license for one year, a substance-abuse evaluation, a meeting with a victims’ impact panel and five days in jail. And because there was nothing the university could do to control that from getting out since that is public knowledge.

I think the student section isn’t to happy about Luke.

I don’t blame him for writing about that, it’s an awesome scoop. It has football players, alcohol & nepotism all rolled into one. Hell, he should have tried to sell that baby to MTV studios for production.

Now I’m not a “professional” blogger like Canzano but what he experienced this past Saturday would be a personal “Miller High Life” moment for me, but since he’s not me he’s a little rattled by it. You see while Canzano was in the press box during the USC (not South Carolina the USC that wins titles)-Oregon game, Colleen Bellotti (wife of Oregon football head coach Mike Bellotti) along with friends and family, including her son (the place kicking alcoholic), his girlfriend, and a nanny, holding an infant, and a few young children in tow claiming he “dragged her family through so much hurt and pain…” It’s not like he forced Luke to get drunk and drive.

He claims he explained to her how why two DUI’s by a college football player at a Top 25 program was fair game for a column. Rock on dude!! By the way I’m pretty sure that isn’t Luke the drunk in the picture on the left, but he does look like a little hellion.

“I was disappointed in her approach. Particularly that there were 4-5 children present with her, including the youngest Bellotti son, and I didn’t think a working press box was the time or place for a heated discussion, especially given the high emotions and a big game.

She leaned in, grabbed by my suit lapel, and lit into me with a string of expletives, asking me if I have children, and telling me, “This is going to come back on you tenfold.” And she threatened to slap me, which was not such a nice example in front of the kiddies.

I told it was poor form that she would approach me in the press box, with a strong smell of alcohol on her breath, hissing and spitting mad, talking to me about alcohol abuse.

Then, the nanny, still holding the toddler, unleashed a foul-mouthed tirade.

“Nice nanny,” I said.”

The alcohol on her breath line is pure freaking gold. He better beware of the nanny though, they’re under paid as it is, so for a few extra bucks they’re liable to except an assignment of blogger termination.

“During Colleen’s rant, David Williford, Oregon’s sports information director, called a security guard and positioned him near my seat in the press box. I didn’t ask for that, but it allowed me to work. Williford also spoke with Colleen, and later, Williford told a New York Times reporter that her tirade was “certainly uncalled for” and “crossed the line.”

Dude no offense but you look like Moby except add on 20+ years. There’s no shame in asking for help when the coaches wife, alcoholic kid, alcoholic kid’s cum bucket girlfriend and nanny from hell ambushed you in the press box.

“What went down in the press box wasn’t a good, or productive, scene, though. It was surreal…. but mostly it was sad. This isn’t the first time I’ve been confronted by a reader or column subject who was upset at my opinions in a column, (and it won’t be the last). It was just the first time I’ve had it happen during the game, and the first time I’ve had it be a coach’s wife…. and nanny.”

I wish someone would confront me publicly about the stuff I write on this site, I would love that. It would let me know that someone really reads this stuff and most importantly I’ve pushed a button or two. Maybe I should start e-mailing my diatribes against God Steve Spurrier and his lack of discipline, but as anyone seen his wife? I’m not one to talk but if USC was to kidnap Uga, the Georgia mascot, and placed her in his doghouse, no one would notice.

No that isn’t Uga wearing a Gamecock hat.

So I profess on this day 10/30/07.

Photo © Copyright 2001-2003 WorldNow. All Rights Reserved even though the image is being hosted on another web site that I have no affiliation with. Maybe if “Chas McCarthy” would learn how to right click and copy image location he would learn that before making asinine comments. However since I researched it, this photo first appeared on “The Carolina Reporter” hence the copyright notice. Chas claims he took the photo however per his employers own terms of service I will not give him the credit but I’ll give his employers credit. Besides I don’t believe him. Any more dumb ass comments Chas?


Posted in alcoholics, Colleen Bellotti, DUI, John Canzano, Luke Bellotti, Mike Bellotti, nanny, Oregon Ducks, Uga, ugly wives, University of Southern Cal, USC, white trash, whore | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »