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Archive for the ‘walk-on’ Category

For The Thug Who Has Everything

Posted by Joel Jackson on January 29, 2008


Now this is a present. This game is basically a Monopoly, but instead of “Go To Jail”, you try to break out of jail and/or get parole. This is a description of the game from the official website:

Fight your way through 6 different exciting locations in hopes of being granted parole. Escape prison riots in The Yard, slip glass into a mob boss’ lasagna in the Cafeteria, steal painkillers from the nurse’s desk in the Infirmary, avoid being cornered by the Aryans in the Shower Room, fight off Latin Kings in Gang War, and try not to smoke your entire stash in The Hole.

The artistry of each handcrafted piece is matched with comparable humor & intelligence on every card. Stack your smokes, sharpen your shank, and get ready for an experience that only someone on the outside could appreciate.

Wow. What more can be said. Check out the game pieces. Who among us played Monopoly as a kid and thought “Wouldn’t it be cool if instead of a thimble I could use a Glock as my game piece???”

What’s the sports connection??? Well let’s see: The founder of the company and game is John Sebelius, son of Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius. Kansas is where America’s “favorite” marijuana smuggling (and smoking), lawsuit avoiding, Valtrex popping, inaccurate throwing, dog killing QB Michael Vick is currently doing his time. But let’s think of the endless possibilities..

How about a “Playmakers” Edition featuring O.J., his white Bronco, memorabilia, copy of “If I Did It”, and a Naked Gun DVD for playing pieces???

Or a “Ballers” Edition, with Kobe attached to a blonde female hotel clerk, Roy Tarpley, transcripts of Tim Donaghy’s gambling probe, Jack Sikma’s perm, and WNBA TV Ratings???

Lastly, what about a “Juiced” version, with Jose Canseco, Barry Bonds, Marion Jones, a syringe, and a torn record book???

If they market this game right, it could be a gold mine. Of course, someone needs to mail some of these games to all SEC schools, so they can play as part of the “Super Secret Double Probation”…

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Oh for God’s Sake Even the Walk-Ons at South Carolina Get in Trouble With the Law.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 11, 2007

Personally, I think it was a great win for South Carolina last Saturday when they defeated Georgia. It made everyone, including me, forget about all those legal troubles some of the players had or were having. See this guy to the left? Yeah the one looks rather stupid. He thought it was a great win as well, so in true “Be Like Florida” fashion, he decided that since he’s a Gamecock, though a loser walk-on, he would get himself arrested in an all out effort of earning that coveted “Scholarship” status.

“USC linebacker John Guerry was arrested Saturday night in Athens and charged with underage consumption of alcohol and an open container violation.

According to an Athens-Clarke County Police report, the 20-year old Guerry was seen hiding a beer bottle while walking down a public street in Athens Saturday at 2:00am. After being spotted, the report says Guerry threw the bottle into the garbage and then acknowledged that he was 20 years old. Guerry was then placed into custody and taken to jail.

John Guerry is a sophomore linebacker from Columbia who played at Dreher High School. The USC media guide says Guerry enrolled in 2005 but did not play football. Last year he worked on the scout team as a squadman and this year he was expected to add depth as a walk-on. It is believed that Guerry was not a part of USC’s traveling squad this week.

Guerry is the fourth Gamecock to be arrested this year. “

Not your typical Emanuel Cook arrest hence why he’s still a walk-on. The loser. He obviously didn’t hide the beer bottle very well if the Athens Po Po spotted it. God Spurrier needs to send him to the Richland County Detention Center, for a class in anal object incursion, only then can he be a chosen “Scholarship” starter. Now I know there are some Gamecock fans reading this thinking I’m “picking” on your school, well yeah, but look around I pick on ever school including my own. Then there are some that might be thinking he was nobody, ahh…but he was expected to add depth this year, and that’s important, no matter who the team is. I wonder if he’ll still be on the team after this, if a call is placed to Neal “Johnie Cochran Jr.” Lourie, then you can bet your sweet ass he it. I love the line “it’s not believed that he was traveling with USC”, that generally means that he was in some fashion, though he probably didn’t suit up. Let’s face it, the coaches would know or not know he was traveling with the team, but it causes a PR problem because if he was “with the team” then what was the curfew? See how all this plays out? 🙂

So I profess on this day 9/11/07.


Posted in College Football, Discipline, Gamecocks, Georgia Bulldogs, legal troubles, moral victories, satire, SEC, SEC Coaches, South Carolina Gamecocks, Sports, Steve Spurrier, walk-on | Leave a Comment »