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Archive for the ‘white trash’ Category

This guy will make a great dad. *Sarcasm*

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 16, 2009

Here is the perfect story of father’s day 2009. It seems that Jonathan Weaver of Las Vegas recently had a problem but poorly chose the wrong way to correct it. 

Jonathan wanted to watch Game 3 of the NBA Finals Tuesday of last week but he had to baby-sit because his girlfriend selfishly had something to do like school. So while watching her two kids (ages 1 and 2) he started desperately needing sports. Just then he had a brilliant idea. He decided to tie up the kids in their car seats, bind their hands (so they wouldn’t mess with his tools, you know safety first), tie a rope around their necks, stuff a cloth in their mouths and leave them in the garage. I mean it isn’t his fault he couldn’t afford that cage at Petco. After that he went to PTs Pub and watch the game. Now since he isn’t 21 I’m sure how he was allowed in, however if the bar isn’t checking IDs anyway, why not just bring the kids with you? Not one, but two designated drivers. 

Jonathan’s reasoning for all this was nothing short of a Mensa member: 

Police said Weaver didn’t think leaving the children was a big deal “because they have had campouts inside” the garage. 

The mom wasn’t charged with attempted murder however she is currently preggers with this moron’s kid. 

All kidding aside, I get knots in my stomach when I think of what those poor kids had to endure. Oh, and I do hope the bound and gagged routine is allowed in prison. They love child abusers there.

Posted in Child Abuse, dumbass, Los Angeles Lakers, NBA Finals, Orlando Magic, white trash | Tagged: , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Howdy Doody Has A Doozy Deal

Posted by Joel Jackson on September 24, 2008

For the 2 regular readers of this blog (and the thousands of trolls), you may or may not know that West By God Virginia holds a special place in our hearts and minds. By no stretch are we Mountaineer fans. Our beloved orange warriors win championships (although none in football thanks to that fat, stubborn…sorry, wrong subject). All one has to do is type West Virginia in the search box to see plenty of Mountaineer fodder.

So whenever this fine institute of higher learning makes the news, we take special notice. I mean, why wouldn’t we??? The writers at The Young & The Restless couldn’t write more drama in the past year. Just Rich Rodriguez alone would be Victor Newman, and Michigan would be the new young and beautiful chick that stolls into Genoa City that he would bang instantly.

In Coach Bill Stewart’s contract, the signed deal includes 1 extra year that wasn’t on the original offer sheet. Also, if he is fired before January 3, 2009, the school must pay him $4.125 million. Former embattled school president Mike Garrison can’t be blamed for this one though, because he was gone by the time the contract was finalized and signed, which was on Sept. 10. The big deal was that a flat $1 million buyout clause was negotiated and agreed upon in the original offer sheet. In other words, now West Virginia can’t fire this guy until Jan. 4. By then, the Mountaineers could easily be 6-6. There is hope though, 6-6 could be good enough to win the Big East.

West Virginia is it’s own worst enemy. Shame too. The school could be great. Wait, let me re-phrase that. The school could be better than mediocre. Whenever the administration and athletics department decide to join 2008 and get out of 1972, please let me know. For all I know, they could still be playing John Denver in Mountaineer Field on an 8 track. Mountain momma, take me home…

Posted in BCS, Big East, bongs, boo birds, boosters, College Football, Couch Burning, Crack, NCAA, West Virginia, West Virginia Mountaineers, whiners, white trash, WVU | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

At 2:26 PM Today the Official One Year Anniversary Begins

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 27, 2008

Wow, one solid year of writing this crap for you peons sharing our thoughts on sports related subjects.

First & for most I would like to thank Joel and Ghetto Philosopher for being the men that they are first and contributing writers second. I would thank Billy Bob Bammer and Little Bear Cub but they’re Bama bastards.

I also thank the following blogs in no particular order for inspiration and for giving me laughs when I sometimes need it the most.

I also want to thank the following people/teams/morons & all around idiots for giving such great material.

  • Steve God Spurrier and the USC thugs
  • Florida Gaytors
  • Cheating Bammers
  • O.J. “Slasher” Simpson
  • Michael Vick
  • University of West Virginia
  • New York Yank’mees
  • Every athlete that has been arrested this past year
  • Roger Clemens
  • Mindy Mccready
  • Jerrell Powe
  • Danica Patrick
  • Adam Pacman Jones

But mostly I want to thank you the readers. Whether we have pissed you off or made you laugh thank you for stopping by. The writers and I look forward to another year of slamming your favorite team and/or sports personality.

Posted in Adam Jones, Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, conVick, Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, Florida Gators, Jerrell Powe, Michael Vick, new york yankees, Ole Miss, ole miss rebels, Pacman Jones, Po Po, Roll Tide, Ron Mexico, satire, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Steve Spurrier, West Virginia Mountaineers, white trash, WTF, WVU, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

Native American Basketball Player Proves she can Crossover Dribble while Shoplifting

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 16, 2008

I would personally like to thank Danometer for this story tip. And in the words of Dan:

“The OU Sooners used to be known as the Be$t Player$ Money ¢ould Buy, especially back under the Herr Switzer era. Did the pay-off cash dry up?”

Walmart must be beginning to hate University of Oklahoma athletes. It seems every few months an OU athlete is arrested in a Walmart which can be technically found every 2.5 square miles across this country.

Women’s basketball point guard Jenna Plumley sent a message out to the OU football players yesterday. The message was simple. If you can fail at shoplifting then so can I. I am woman hear roar!! (And cry when the cuffs are placed on my wrists)

According to an arrest report, Plumley was busted while trying to steal four cosmetics items valued at $34.65. She allegedly put a compact, eyeliner and two eye shadows in her purse after removing their bar codes and tried to leave the store without paying for them and by the looks of her she needs all the makeup she can get.

Officer Jennifer Newell said a Walmart theft prevention officer made the arrest.

This should be a lesson to all and any ugly women reading this. Save yourself some trouble by donning a paper bag with eyeholes. How embarrassing is it to be busted for shoplifting by what is essentially a rent-a-cop?

An OU athletics department spokesman said coach Sherri Coale is aware of the situation, but the department is making no comment and Coale would handle the matter internally.

Meaning the coach was looking into start selling Mary Kay cosmetics to supplement her income, but since her players can’t afford Walmart makeup how in the hell can they afford the expensive stuff?

Tony doesn’t love shoplifters

Posted in basketball, Big 12, Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, Oklahoma sooners, Shoplifting, Walmart, white trash | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 13 Comments »

West Virginia Is Trying To Imitate An SEC School…HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Posted by Joel Jackson on February 7, 2008

Ah yes West By God Virginia. Apparently, if making the news for fake degrees, suing former football coaches, and, well, being West Virginia was not enough, now the football players are trying to imitate an SEC team. Which SEC team??? I will get to that in a minute…

New Mountaineer coach Bill Stewart has recently announced that LB John Holmes (insert porn joke here), DL James Ingram (no relation to soul singer of the same name), and RB Ed Collington (I got nothing here) are no longer on the team. They will be able to retain their scholarships through the end of the spring semester. These 3 geniuses were pulled over for speeding. When the police opened the car, they detected the smell of the “stickiest of the icky” commonly called in Gainesville Gunja-Aid or in Knoxville known as a Recruiting Tool (which obviously didn’t work due to the crappy signing class). Upon searching the vehicle, baggies of the “green stuff” were found both in the car and in Ingram’s shoe. Wait, it gets better: Ingram told the cops that more weed was located in their apartment. Try not to shake your head so hard.

So of course, thanks to a helpful hint from Deputy Barney Fife, the cops search the apartment and found a lot more drugs and bags. Now, because McGruff the Crime ‘Eer told the cops about the extra weed and baggies, they are facing several more felony charges than they would have been if he had just kept his mouth shut. Either he had a moment of clarity because he knew he was doing wrong, or that weed was so good that he just had to tell the cops in hopes they would buy some. Of course, I wonder where that weed will end up once the trial is over with. Someone should have told these 3 that couches are the thing to burn in Morgantown, not blunts…

Now I know which SEC team that WVU reminds me of, and honestly it only took a few seconds of reflection because well, this is West Virginia we are talking about. The school is Thomas’ favorite whipping boy, the University of South Carolina. Let’s examine a little further. Both the Mountaineers and the Gamecocks have losing all-time bowl records, neither school has won a national championship in football but their in-state rivals (Marshall and Clemson) both have national titles, both fanbases have an over inflated sense of entitlement, and both have had players that have done some of the most head scratching things to get in trouble with the cops that you can think of.

So there you have it. The Mountaineers and the Gamecocks are now 2 kindred spirits. West Virginia can say with pride that even though their athletics department is slightly more organized than Iraq circa 2003, they can say with pride that they are almost at an SEC level. Nothing will stop the ‘Eer and ‘Cock Connection from years of mediocrity and no glory to speak of. Long live ‘Eer and ‘Cock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wvu9.jpg 1320566.jpeg

Posted in ass chewing, bad drivers, BCS, Big East, bongs, classless, clemson, Clemson Tigers, Coach Rich Rodriguez, College Football, court tv, Crime & Punishment, Dave Wannstedt, Discipline, drugs, dumbass, Gamecocks, guilty, legal troubles, Major Harris, Marijuana, mary jane, moral victories, moron, mullets, NCAA, Old Ball Sack Coach, Pacman Jones, Po Po, Police, pot, road rage, satire, Scams, scandal, SEC, SEC Football, South Carolina, South Carolina Gamecocks, stupid, team spirit, USC, West Virginia, West Virginia Mountaineers, whiners, white trash, WVU | 9 Comments »

For The Thug Who Has Everything

Posted by Joel Jackson on January 29, 2008


Now this is a present. This game is basically a Monopoly, but instead of “Go To Jail”, you try to break out of jail and/or get parole. This is a description of the game from the official website:

Fight your way through 6 different exciting locations in hopes of being granted parole. Escape prison riots in The Yard, slip glass into a mob boss’ lasagna in the Cafeteria, steal painkillers from the nurse’s desk in the Infirmary, avoid being cornered by the Aryans in the Shower Room, fight off Latin Kings in Gang War, and try not to smoke your entire stash in The Hole.

The artistry of each handcrafted piece is matched with comparable humor & intelligence on every card. Stack your smokes, sharpen your shank, and get ready for an experience that only someone on the outside could appreciate.

Wow. What more can be said. Check out the game pieces. Who among us played Monopoly as a kid and thought “Wouldn’t it be cool if instead of a thimble I could use a Glock as my game piece???”

What’s the sports connection??? Well let’s see: The founder of the company and game is John Sebelius, son of Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius. Kansas is where America’s “favorite” marijuana smuggling (and smoking), lawsuit avoiding, Valtrex popping, inaccurate throwing, dog killing QB Michael Vick is currently doing his time. But let’s think of the endless possibilities..

How about a “Playmakers” Edition featuring O.J., his white Bronco, memorabilia, copy of “If I Did It”, and a Naked Gun DVD for playing pieces???

Or a “Ballers” Edition, with Kobe attached to a blonde female hotel clerk, Roy Tarpley, transcripts of Tim Donaghy’s gambling probe, Jack Sikma’s perm, and WNBA TV Ratings???

Lastly, what about a “Juiced” version, with Jose Canseco, Barry Bonds, Marion Jones, a syringe, and a torn record book???

If they market this game right, it could be a gold mine. Of course, someone needs to mail some of these games to all SEC schools, so they can play as part of the “Super Secret Double Probation”…

Posted in Alabama, Alabama Crimson Tide, alcoholics, All SEC Teams Beware!!, Arkansas, Arkansas Razorbacks, armed robbery, ass chewing, Ass Whipping, Auburn, bad calls, bad drivers, bad newz kennels, Bammers, baseball, basketball, BCS, bongs, boo birds, boosters, cheaters, classless, College Basketball, College Football, conVick, court tv, crazy, Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, Crimson Tide, DAvid Stern, Dawgs, Dead Drunk, Discipline, divorce court, dog fighting, drugs, DUI, dumbass, Ed Orgeron, ESPN, FBI, Feds, Fines, fired, Florida, Florida Gators, Florida State Seminoles, football, FSU, Fulmer, gambling, Gamecocks, Gator Gangsters, Gator mafia, Georgia, Georgia Bulldogs, Go Vols, God, Goodell, guilty, Herban, Herban Meyer, ho, hooker, Houston Nutt, Internet Rumors, Isiah Thomas, James Dolan, Johnnie Cochran, Judge Judy, killer, Kobe, legal troubles, Little Bitch, LSU Tigers, Major League Baseball, marcus vick, Marijuana, mary jane, Michael Vick, michael vick pleads guilty, mississippi state bulldogs, Mitchell Report, MLB, mobsters, moron, murderer, NBA, NCAA, New York Knicks, NFL, NFL Football, nickelback sucks, notre dame sucks, NRA, NWA, OJ, OJ Simpson, Ole Miss, ole miss rebels, oliver stone, ookie, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Pacman, Pacman Jones, Phillip Fulmer, pimps, pitbull, Po Po, Police, pot, Prison for Vick, refs, repo, Ricky Williams, riots, satire, Scams, scandal, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, secrets, Sports, Stephon Marbury, steroids, stupid, taser, taxes, team spirit, Tennessee, Tennessee Volunteers, The Juice, Touchdown Jesus, trader, trailer trash, ugly wives, upsets, Vick, Vick Plea, VIP Connection, vols, walk-on, West Virginia, West Virginia Mountaineers, whiners, white trash, whore, WVU, zeke | 1 Comment »

See I Told You T.O. Was a Little Bitch

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 14, 2008

I have little respect for Terrell Owens. Don’t get me wrong he’s a great wide receiver and one hell of an athlete, but it’s his character that I have issues with. That’s why I was, and still am elated to see him cry for a 12 year old girl who just got dumped for the first time, on television.

“It is a loss that really hurts,” Owens said, his tears shielded by a pair of dark glasses.

All loses should hurt but this lose is how last season ended as well, with the ball coming out of quarterback Tony Romo’s hand and ending up where it didn’t do Dallas any good. And for the record Romo wasn’t throwing it to T.O. either.

T.O.’s tears can only be blamed on himself. He claims he bought the plane tickets to Cabo for Romo and Simpson, as an apology for calling Simpson “a distraction” when she attended the Eagles’ upset of the Cowboys in December.

“This wasn’t about Tony. You can talk about him, you can talk about the vacation, but it’s unfair. That’s my teammate. That’s my quarterback,” Owens said, breaking into prison bitch sobs and tenderly drawing out the word quarterback.

“It’s unfair because I know what it’s like,” T.O. said. “He’s the quarterback of this team, and win or loss, it’s going to fall on his head.”

Don’t you mean you know what’s it like to always blame the quarterback and everyone else as well? Last year T.O. claimed he wasn’t used enough in the offense even though he led the league in dropped passes.

It’s the next comment that made me do a double take.

“I’ve always had a good relationship with quarterbacks,” he said. “I know what type of person I am on the inside. I know who I am.”

Paging Drs. Garcia and McNabb. The patient is not responding normally.

If you’ve ever see the show South Park then you’re familiar with the famous way Kyle Broflovski’s mom reacts to something shocking. That’s exactly what I did when I heard this. I said “Wh Wh Wha What!!”

Is T.O. talking about high school or college quarterbacks? Everyone knows the Philadelphia story and I’m not to sure calling Jeff Garcia gay even though he was dating a Playboy playmate at the time is a “good relationship.”

In any event I’m glad the Cowboys lost, I freaking hate them. Their only redeeming quality is having Jason Whitton on the team.

Giants running back Brandon Jacobs, who is a developing young trash talker, left town making some back-handed compliments.

“The Cowboys are a great football team,” he said. “They might have had a chance to win if Patrick Crayton didn’t drop the two key passes. There was a lot of talk. But it’s over with. We won the game. They’re chillin’ and we’re going to Green Bay next week.”

As Giants defensive end Michael Strahan walked off the field, he said, “Hope everyone at home enjoyed the game. I hope you had your popcorn ready.”

I know I did and I will next week as well.

This I proclaim on 1/14/08.




Posted in Dallas Cowboys, Little Bitch, T.O., Terrell Owens, Tony Romo, whiners, white trash | Tagged: , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Rich “Dirty Sanchez” Rodriguez says “He Ain’t Paying Shit Back Bitches”

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 19, 2007

Eer fans everywhere I’m truly not trying to piss you off, except for “Bill” since he’s a cocksucker. The “New Nick Saban” of college football is claiming he isn’t paying that 4 million dollar buyout clause and that’s he has his attorneys ready to take it all the way to Judge Judy if need be. Story

No contract is iron clad when Nick Saban is concerned and Rich Rodriguez following in the same suit states he was “fraudulently induced to sign a contract with false promises.” Now what those promises really were is anyone’s guess. Some say a needed upgrade in facilities and higher pay for the assistant coaches, but I say the promises were a longer work visa with the potential of an official “green card” and no more cutting the grass during the off season.

Rich’s friend and big time West Virginia booster, Ken Kendrick, states Rodriguez is in the right and WVU is wrong. With booster like that who needs rival schools as enemies. Kendrick also is the managing general partner for the Arizona Diamondbacks, some shitty little MLB team out west. If it isn’t the Red Sox then it’s crap!

“I will be a witness to any and all proceedings that occur,” said Kendrick. “They baited and switched him. Rich was boxed in by a university and athletic department that was arrogant, mean-spirited and intellectually bankrupt. How can someone like me now commit money to this university?”

Whoa! Hold the phone! I can understand athletic departments being arrogant and mean-spirited; after all I’m arrogant and mean-spirited. So basically most athletic departments want to be like me, but I’ve never heard of an athletic department being intellectually bankrupt. This is sports we’re talking about and not whether the Venona Project clearly proved the guilt of Alger Hiss. (Which it did)

Anyone seen “Bill” around?

Here’s a list of broken promises as proclaimed by Kendrick.

  • Allowing players to keep textbooks for resale, a practice that occurs at some other schools.
  • Waiving a $5 charge for high school coaches to attend Mountaineers games.
  • Having authority over distribution of sideline passes. Kendrick said Rodriguez “negotiated” one for his wife, Rita. (Looks like a white trash stripper)
  • Having authority to allocate funds from the 1100 Club for coaches.
  • A committment to increase pay for his assistant coaches.
  • Additional money to pay graduate assistants.
  • Hiring an additional recruiting assistant.

For god’s sake! Why in the hell would ESPN allow a story to run with the word “commitment” misspelled? Fucking slackers.

Of course West Virginia’s chairman of Board of Governors, Stephen “Fuck Rodriguez” Goodman is telling a little different version of events.

“WVU went to the ends of the earth to keep the coach here — and clearly, some of our major donors assisted the school in that effort,” Goodwin said. “There were some very minor issues that [Rodriguez] raised with the administration — and people were working on them. I think you will agree that the things that are being talked about are pretty minor in comparison to what has been done already.

“But he clearly was looking for an excuse to leave — he looked last year, and again this year.

“But when he went to visit [Michigan], and then came back to campus with demands based on those minor issues — university officials simply told him they would continue to work the issues,” Goodwin said. “He was asked to focus on the student athletes and the upcoming bowl game. There’s a long offseason coming up to work out those sorts of minor issues. Whoever comes in as coach will know that they can count on support from WVU on big issues and small issues.”

All I’m saying is this better make Court TV damn it! Goodwin also had this to say about Kendrick:

“At the end of the day, the university is governed by its board and its president, and the people they appoint to positions of responsibility. Making donations to a public university does not entitle anyone to dictate policy or personnel.”

I’ll say this I’ve given West Virginia hell this year, but damn I like Goodwin hopefully Tennessee can steal him away. I think Rodriguez is in for a battle.

People in West Virginia officially hate Rodriguez, the mayor of his home town has already taken the “Grant Town, population of less than 1,000, as the hometown of Rodriguez” sign down. Ouch….A shop that sells cemetery memorials in Charleston put the words “Coach Rodriguez” on one of the headstones displayed in a shop window.

Fenway Park Baby! No reason to put this pic here other than it was a pain to make

I think the later sums up the feelings of West Virginia fans. Did I mention that Nick Saban’s agent contacted West Virginia? 🙂

So I profess on this day 12/19/07.


Posted in Big East, big ten football, boosters, Coach Rich Rodriguez, Michigan Wolverines, West Virginia Mountaineers, white trash, WVU | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 7 Comments »

Rich “Dirty Sanchez” Rodriguez Talks to Michigan Behind West Virginia’s Back

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 15, 2007

Well Big Eleven Ten fans prepare yourself for the possibility of Big East mediocrity invading your conference. The University of Michigan must be pretty desperate now that leader of the corndogs, Les “Big Hat Small Penis” Miles has said that unthinkable word “no” to their offer. Now the focus is on Rich Rodriguez, the West Virginia football coach. Story

There seems to be a problem, no one told West Virginia officials that he was taking a little trip to Toledo to speak with Michigan athletic director Bill Martin about the coaching vacancy. Leave it to the crack bribing reporting of ESPN to break the story. Wait…didn’t they also break the story of Les Miles going to Michigan? Way to sabotage Curt Herbstreet!!

This latest rumor appears to be different though. Instead of holding an over-dramatic press conference to deny the report, Rodriguez simply states “Going to practice. I’m going to practice,” after arriving back in Morgan Town from Toledo where the interview occurred. Why in the hell is Michigan interviewing coaching candidates in the state of Ohio? Isn’t that considered blasphemous?

Of course the always in the dark and last to know, West Virginia athletic director Ed Pastilong says he wasn’t aware that Rodriguez was even in Ohio.

Psstt Ed I have a secret to tell you and you can’t tell anyone. Your coach was in Ohio speaking with the AD of Michigan about the job vacancy there. Are you happy now? Now you know and as GI Joe says, “Knowing is half the battle”.

“He has not shared that with me,” Pastilong told The Associated Press. “Rich has not mentioned anything of that nature to me. Secondly, we have a strong commitment with Rich, a strong contract. We’re strongly committed to him and he’s strongly committed to us. I think it would be unusual that he would be doing that without sharing it with us.”

Ed, buddy pal, he was in Ohio and the AP even caught up with him the airport while he was returning from Ohio. Face the facts man. Damn.

Michigan said I could have my own Mexican gardener. I’m taking him with me.

This is the third coach that Michigan has approached and the second coach from the Big East, the other being Rutgers’ Greg Schiano. Of course after seeing his dreams of a national championship go down quicker than the Titanic when Pitt defeated West Virginia, Rodriguez was quoted as saying:

“The impact of your name being thrown about is sometimes a little overrated. It probably makes for a lot of angst among families and we don’t want that, sorry but you all are stuck with me here.”

Will Rich Rodriguez be the Nick Saban of the Big Eleven Ten? We’ll all shall know soon enough.

So I profess on this day 12/15/07.


Posted in Big East, big ten football, ESPN, Michigan Wolverines, West Virginia Mountaineers, white trash, WVU | Tagged: , , , , , , | 23 Comments »

Football Season is Over but the Gamecocks are Still Racking Up Moral Victories

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 13, 2007

Ha ha I almost wrecked when I first saw it 🙂

Yes USC’s football season is over as for as the gridiron is concerned, however they’re still scoring moral victories for God Spurrier. See he’s pretty pissed off right now. Think about it. You’re ranked 6th in the country with one loss, and then you lose 5 straight, finishing 6-6 and no bowl. To make matters worse some Clemson fan puts a billboard up on 26 right as you drive into Columbia rubbing the lose to your arch rival, Clemson, in your face. To memorialize that I had to stop and take a picture of it.

So God Spurrier goes back to where the success was born in the first half of the season, and that is have another USC player beat someone up only to be stabbed in the end. This is just like the Quintin Richardson incident. Sad.

Jordin Lindsey and his twin brother Dustin were in the Five Points area and supposedly were in a verbal altercation with this little geek teenager. The Lindsey twins, who are from Alabama for the record, claim geek boy came up from behind and stabbed Jordin. Hell, Daddy Lindsey claims his son cut in the jugular, even though if that happened Jordin wouldn’t have been able to walk to fuck up QB Blake Mitchell’s house much less be alive today. That and the police say the cut was behind the neck, but the daddy is from Bama so we’ll excuse ignorance here.

Meet Geek Boy 2008. Gamecock player slayer.

Just one problem with the above scenario, the “attacker” turned himself in and he has two black eyes and a badly bruised arm with proof he received medical care. He also has a lawyer and he’s claiming self defense. Considering this is the second time one of the Lindseys was involved in a fight in Five Points a lot of people are starting to believe geek boy. Plus Lindsey is 100 lbs. heavier than geek boy, and geek boy doesn’t have a criminal record. The Lindsey boys can’t say that, having a criminal record is a requirement to even get recruited by South Carolina. Of course Spurrier is “reserving judgment” until all the facts are released. I don’t know about you but if I was the coach of a flop like the Gamecocks, I would have something called a “curfew” in place. This incident took place a 4:00 AM for Christ sake.

Considering the fact Jordin was to stupid to play last year because his GPA fell below 2.0, it looks like another moral victory for South Carolina football. Way to go Gamecocks!! Make God Spurrier proud since you have ruined his streak of never have been beaten by Vandy. And of course his streak of bowl games as coach. Well, the AD made him star in this holiday musical to make up for lost revenue. One of the songs on it is probably “All I Want for Christmas is Another Moral Victory” thanks for offering that Lindsey twins.

So I profess on this day 12/13/07.



Posted in Clemson Tigers, Gamecocks, moral victories, satire, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Steve Spurrier, trailer trash, USC, whiners, white trash | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »