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Posts Tagged ‘Bill Callahan’

Ole Miss Will Most Likely Begin Coaching Search Today

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 26, 2007

Today’s date is 2 A.0. (after 0) for the Ole Miss football program. For the second time in four years, Ole Miss has really screwed themselves royally by firing their football coach. When I learned about this my first thought was “That’s a mistake he’s only been there 3 years”, my second thought was “I wonder if Jai Eugene of ‘Losers With Socks‘ will have to change his aviator now”. The first time involved the firing of David Cutcliff after so much success he brought them, the latest firing involves the man, the myth, the legend, the man-god with 42″ python arms Coach 0, just after a poultry 3 years there. Three years? Are you kidding me?

Coach 0’s firing comes on the heels after Chancellor Robert Khayat endorsed Orgeron last month. Khayat told the AP that Coach 0’s job was safe and he believed the coach would eventually field a winner, even if it took five or six years. In that same interview Khayat also showed some rather unnatural man-love towards the 0. Those details can be found here.

So now after Ole Miss has shown the SEC that they too can be like Alabama & Notre Dame, and fire a coach after a relatively short period of time. The search should begin today. Let’s look at some candidates that could possibly become the next Ole Miss football coach.

David Cutcliff: Oh wait my bad. Not only would the athletic director have to get on his knees and beg him to return, he would also have to tongue his balls in the process.

Bo Pelini: HA! You think he’ll go there over Nebraska? Bahahahaha.

OK OK OK here’s the real list, I was just kidding on the first two.

  1. Rick Neuheisel: He hasn’t been coaching for awhile now. In fact I’m not even sure if he’s still alive, but if they can find him and sober him up it possible.
  2. Mike Shula: Why not? He was wrongly canned last year so getting fired again within another 3 years wouldn’t be a new experience.
  3. Gary Barnett: He can enticed recruits to come to Ole Miss with sex and alcohol during recruiting visits & actually coach as well, he’s a winner.
  4. Coach Fran: Wait even Ole Miss wouldn’t stoop that low.
  5. Bill Callahan: He can win more than 3 times a year.
  6. Gus Malazan: This could be a real win-win here. The “I’ll whip your ass in the parking lot” looks he would throw towards Houston Nutt is worth the admission price alone.
  7. Kevin O’Dea: Don’t know a lot about him but he is a coach with the Chicago Bears. The cool thing about him is people can still keep their Coach O decals on their cars.
  8. Me: That’s right bitches m-e ME! I have no clue on how to coach, but neither did Coach 0 and that’s didn’t stop him. For a generous salary I’ll coach that team or at least teach Jerrell Powe how to read. I’ll employ my patented motivational tools to the job. A whistle and cattle prod.

Hire Kevin O’Dea


So take your pick Ole Miss but remember I have a cattle prod and I’m not afraid to use it bitch.

So I profess on this day 11/26/07


Posted in bad calls, Bill Callahan, Coach Fran, coach o, Jerrell Powe, mentally challenged, ole miss rebels, satire, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, trailer trash | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

Nebraska Is Callahan Free & A&M is Coach Fran Free!

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 24, 2007

Nebraska fans join hands and rejoice, for the evil scourge Bill Callahan has been defeated by the White Knight that goes by Tom Osborne. In less than 24 hours of giving up an eleven point halftime lead and 65 total points to Colorado, Callahan one the most arrogant idiots in sports history was fired.

Callahan also ensured that Nebraska doesn’t become bowl eligible for just the second time since 1962. Osborne has been quoted as saying:

“As a former coach this is a role I really don’t like,” Osborne said at a news conference.” I hate to sit in judgment of other people. I never envisioned having to do this.”

I’m sure that’s true. After all he was betting that the AD would fire him, but that was the problem, the AD was fired earlier in the season. The dismal results came one season after the Huskers reached the Big 12 championship game. This year also was marked by a 76-39 defeat at Kansas, the most points allowed by a Nebraska team.

This firing comes after about a month ago Callahan was quoted as saying:

“I have done an excellent job in every area.”

Apparently Osborne, the Nebraska fans, boosters, media & God must think different. Because Nebraska willing to eat the $3.1 million buyout clause in your contract just to get your ass out of the door.

The names most often mentioned as possible replacements are LSU defensive coordinator Bo Pelini and University of Buffalo head coach Turner Gill.

Callahan is the first coach from a big name school to be canned this year, however Coach “I sell my players injury reports while possibly violating HIPPA laws” Fran decided to “step down” after defeating Texas yesterday afternoon.

Coach Fran came to Texas A&M to restore the glory to the Aggies. He left with a mediocre record and an embarrassing scandal on his resume. He finished 32-28 at A&M, far short of the expectations when he took the job in December 2002.

Coach Fran is quoted as saying

“We appreciate the opportunity we have had at this great institution, to work with this administration,” he read from a prepared statement. “We have made many lasting friendships.

We have an outstanding group of young men on this team and especially great people. We want them to know that we love them, feel blessed for our time together, and will miss them.”

After he resigned, AD Byrne was the only man speaking for him.

“I want to express my regret and gratitude to Coach Franchione for his courage in making this decision, and putting the interests of his players and this institution ahead of his own interests,” Byrne said in a prepared statement. “We wish Coach Franchione the very best moving forward and we are grateful for all of his hard work and effort while he was here at A&M.”

A week after the loss in Miami, a newspaper reported that Franchione’s personal assistant had been sending out e-mails with inside information about the program to boosters who paid $1,200 a year to get it. Bill Byrne suggested Franchione breached his contract, admitted NCAA rules were broken and vowed the messy scandal would be part of Franchione’s year-end evaluation.

Byrne said after Friday’s game that the school had completed its investigation into the e-mail scandal. He said the school was convinced that Franchione “did not intentionally, knowingly, or directly participate in actions that were inappropriate or in violation of rules or policies.”

Rumors have been swirling about that A&M will go after Tommy Tuberville or God Spurrier. As for Coach Fran & Callahan maybe they can have a death match to see who will get the open SMU job.

So I profess on this day 11/24/07


Posted in Big Twelve Football, Bill Callahan, Coach Fran, Colorado Buffalos, Nebraska Cornhuskers, scandal, Texas A&M, Tom Osborne, Tommy Tuberville | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

This Weekends Games Could Be the End All Be All For Some.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 22, 2007

This college football season has been the craziest and the best ever!!! This weekends games are bountiful. Here are the ones you should be paying attention to and why.


No. 11 USC at No. 6 Arizona State (ESPN, 8 p.m. ET)

If USC beats Arizona State, then it’s bye-bye to any BCS dreams for the Sun Devils. I for one will be pulling for USC just for the Gridiron Goddess’s sake & I think the ASU coach is a douche bag.


Nebraska at Colorado (ABC, noon ET)

This game used to mean something something now it’s irrelevant…or is it? This is pretty much Callahan’s last stand, that’s evident, but on the other side of the ball Dan Hawkins has a chance to take Colorado to a bowl game in his second year. Let’s face it, Colorado was mess of stripper allegations and recruiting violations when he took over. He’s has done a great job. I’ll admit I’m somewhat a Nebraska fan, but Callahan is a dick who should have been fired weeks ago.. Let’s go Buffs!

Ole Miss at Miss. State (JP “Jesus Christ We Suck” Sports, 12:30 p.m. ET)

Sly Croom already has my SEC coach of the year vote. Before the season started the Croom coffin was already built, only the undertaker needed to be called. Now Miss State is bowl eligible with wins over Auburn & Bama, thus proving they are the best program in Alabama. 🙂 Coach 0 and his 20 thieves can end the season on a high note with a win. If he does that he’ll be yaw yawing to another top 10 recruiting class.

Arkansas at No. 1 LSU (CBS, 2:30 p.m. ET)

Bottom line if LSU slips here no national title and you’ll see signs like below pop up all over Cajun country.

Too fucking funny….

If Arkansas wins & maybe more importantly D. Mac has a good game then his name is back in the Heisman race. Even though Coach Nutt claims those only “rumors” about his stepping down…everyone know he’s gone. Maybe…just maybe…he could stay with a win.

No. 13 Texas at Texas A&M (ABC, 3:30 p.m. ET)

Coach Fran’s last game before the new coach (more about that later) is possibly announced. Coach Fran has already shown he loves money more than the confidence of his players. Why is he even still there is beyond me. A win could be good for Fran and any high school coaching jobs he might be inline for in the future.


No. 18 Tennessee at Kentucky (CBS, 1:30 p.m. ET)

Coach Fulmer and Tennessee fans such as myself have experienced a roller coaster year. A win here sends the Vols to the SEC championship game to be slaughtered by LSU. A loss here means that maybe Tennessee is looking for another coach next season.

No. 7 Georgia at Georgia Tech (ABC, 3:30 p.m. ET)

The only thing that is hotter than Georgia’s playing right now, is Chan’s ass on the Tech hot seat. A win could knock Georgia out of a BCS bowl birth. A lose could knock Chan out of a job.

Florida State at No. 12 Florida (CBS, 5 p.m. ET)

Even though Matt Stafford was quoted as saying

“Let me say somebody so you guys won’t say I just won’t vote for Tebow,” he said. “Let’s say Darren McFadden. He’s been doing it a long time, and he deserves it.”

A win could give Tebow a Heisman as a true sophomore. A win also could have people wondering is time to replace Bobby as coach. A FSU win will send the Gators spiraling down the polls, and no trophy for Teabag Tebow.

No. 22 Clemson at South Carolina (ESPN2, 7 p.m. ET)

I live in Columbia SC, but I grew up in Greenville SC. So I’ve been around both fan bases for an extended time. These people hate each other. The Tigers were a dropped TD pass away from the ACC championship game, God Spurrier’s Gamecock squad was ranked 6th in the country, that was before four straight losses. A win for Clemson, whose fan base is the ACC’s version of Bama’s fan base meaning delusional, will keep Tommy Bowden around for another year.

A loss for USC could mean God Spurrier jets to take the A&M job. According to’s “sources”

There’s no doubt there’s serious interest on both sides. As I said yesterday, the USC admin is very wary of Spurrier possibly leaving due to his dissatisfaction over the disposition of two high priority recruits that had passed the NCAA Clearinghouse yet hit some hurdle in getting admitted by the university.

There is a ton of smoke surrounding Spurrier and that’s where many early signs are pointing to, but at this late hour at night I can’t confirm that it’s a done deal or near done deal.”

Now God Spurrier has said he plans on staying at USC. The last big name coach who said he is planning on staying somewhere was Saban, and we all know how that turned out. Spurrier has also been forced to admit he was wrong and regrets hyping up his team of felons. In fact this week has been a week of retractions all around for the Old Ball Sack Coach. In an press conference Tuesday, God Spurrier, stated:

“To me, attitude is everything, and right now, our attitude is sorry. We can’t worry about the winning or losing, we have to concern ourselves with playing football at a very high level — and obviously that’s something we haven’t done.”

But of course he pulled a “Saban” on Wednesday:

“I said our attitude stinks, but the attitude of our guys is pretty good … I said it wrong and I told our team that I was mistaken,”

My question is why would A&M even want him? The program is no better in his third year there, than it was when he took over. In Grannie Holtz’s third year at South Carolina he was taking them to back to back Outback Bowl victories. A loss here would mean a 6-6 record, and possibly no bowl game whatsoever.

No. 4 Missouri at No. 2 Kansas (ABC, 8 p.m. ET)

If Kansas wins they are one step closer to the unbelievable, if Missouri wins they have a chance to make it all the way, and their QB takes a step closer to the Heisman.

Alabama at Auburn (ESPN, 8 p.m. ET)

Bama has 3 straight loses. The liberal media have started to turn against Saban, referring to the Tide as the Tide’tanic. A win here might make the Bama faithful forget about getting Croomed back to back and losing to Oh La La. For Auburn I believe they are going for six in a row. (If I’m wrong please correct me) Tommy T. has also been linked to the A&M job, but he flatly as said he’s happy at Auburn and he wants to stay. A win here could insure a contract extension.

I hope you’re enjoying your Turkey day and remember:

So I profess on this day 11/22/07



Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Arkansas Razorbacks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Big Twelve Football, Bill Callahan, Clemson Tigers, coach o, Croom, Ed Orgeron, Florida Gators, Florida State Seminoles, Georgia Bulldogs, Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, Houston Nutt, kansas jayhawks, Kentucky Wildcats, Les Miles, Louisiana Monroe, LSU Tigers, mississippi state bulldogs, Nebraska Cornhuskers, Nick Saban, Old Ball Sack Coach, ole miss rebels, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Tennessee Volunteers, Texas A&M, Texas Longhorns, University of Southern Cal, USC, UT vols | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Things are Getting Ugly in Nebraska & are Bound to Get Worse

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 8, 2007

By now I’m sure everyone has heard about Callahan’s comments about how he would not resign before the season ends, even if he were offered a buyout worth more than he is entitled to by his contract. I’m not sure if I would classify it as arrogance or sheer stupidity.

“That term ‘resignation’ is not in our vocabulary,” Callahan said.

OK, are the words “first five-game losing streak since 1958 & being outscored 226-98 in those five games” in your vocabulary? Or are the terms “you’re an embarrassment to the once great Nebraska program and you have one of the nation’s worst defenses, allowing 35.9 points and 477.6 yards a game,” there as well?

This Saturday Nebraska plays Kansas State. I’m predicting that this game will be so unbearable to watch that judges are sentencing criminals to watch it as a form of punishment.

Callahan signed a new contract in September that is worth over three million dollars, since then the AD has been canned & officials have brought in Tom Osborne as acting AD. Translation: He is currently looking for a new coach as I type this.

“You need to understand this isn’t about money. I didn’t get into coaching for money, for buyouts or anything like that,” Callahan said.

This disappointing season hasn’t changed his feelings for Nebraska, he said. Callahan has often said he wants to finish his career at Nebraska.

“I sincerely want to be here,” he said. “I think I indicated that when I signed a contract extension. If I didn’t want to be here, I wouldn’t have signed the extension.”

Dude you signed for money just admit it, there’s no shame in that. What is a shame is the fact you recruited and signed 29 JUCO players and the majority of those haven’t panned out. You lost 7 starters on defense with no one to fill in the gaps. No one is saying you can’t stay in Nebraska, you just can’t continue to fuck up coach their program.

Jesus won’t help until Callahan is gone

“Gosh, I don’t think we wanted to do this,” he said. “These coaches didn’t purposely tell these kids, ‘Hey, don’t go out there and tackle today’ or ‘Don’t go out there and rush the passer.’

“Our guys coach to the best of their ability, and they did the best they could. It hasn’t been good enough at this point. Hopefully, Saturday we can rectify this,” he said.

No shit it hasn’t been good enough to this point, nor would it have been good enough at majority of the D-1 schools that have some semblance of football history.

“It’s a game,” he said. “I understand here in Nebraska it’s more than a game. It’s life. It’s the most important thing to Nebraskans, and I share that passion.”

Callahan said he won’t leave on his own accord, even if it means relieving pressure on himself, his staff and their families.

“There is a message if you do resign, that you’ve quit on your football team,” he said. “There is no quit in this staff. We’re going to keep plugging away and keep pushing and keep coaching and try to get through this.”

First of all if you truly did have that passion for Nebraska then you would willfully step down instead of planning on getting fired, which is exactly what you’re doing. Sometimes it’s better to admit that you’re not in the right situation and admit failure than be so self-centered to the point that you’re willing to place unneeded pressures upon your own family.

Callahan claims much of his fan correspondence has been supportive, which I’m not buying for a second. I have a feeling that if there are some supportive e-mails, faxes or letters they were written by Colorado, Oklahoma and Kansas fans. I’m not sure if I would count those if I were him.

So I profess on this day 11/08/07.


Posted in Big Twelve Football, Bill Callahan, fired, K-State, Kansas State Wildcats, Nebraska Cornhuskers, Steve Pederson | Tagged: , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Just Fire The Guy Already!!!!!!!!

Posted by Joel Jackson on November 5, 2007


So apparently Texas A&M is reportedly negotiating a buyout with head football coach Dennis Franchione. Yes, that Coach Fran, who left Alabama after 1 year for A&M, has done absolutely squat since arriving, and who was apparently selling inside information to 12 boosters for $1,200 a pop, even though his annual salary was $2.6 million. In the interest of full disclosure, the NCAA is looking into the situation as potential rules violations may have occurred.

Word around the Aggie Bonfire is that the language in Coach Fran’s contract may allow the school to outright let the “embattled” coach go without having to pay a penalty due to his website and possible violations of HIPPA. Let’s not forget that he has been a crappy coach.

So why in the hell would A&M not just fire him??? Why wait??? The Aggies still have to go to a VERY loaded Missouri team and then the annual Texas butt-kicking (I know, A&M won last year, and a broken clock is right twice a day). Let him go. He screwed himself out of a buyout with his website.

I know Texas A&M has some powerful boosters with deep pockets, but money talks. Also, if the rumor about going after Tommy Tuberville, you are gonna have to pay Auburn for the buyout in his contract ($6 million) plus whatever his annual salary will be. Plus, why string Coach Fran along??? Let him go so that he can find the next tiny D-1A school to coach, since hardly anyone would hire him as an offensive coach (quick: name 5 teams that still run the option. I will spot you Navy).

On a related note, for any other schools that may be looking at a coaching change (Nebraska, UCLA, Arkansas), go ahead and fire these coaches. Why string it along??? Plus, by letting these guys go early, it will give your school ample time to find the replacement. Do it, and LET THE COACH STEALING BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted in ACC Football, aggies, Alabama, Alabama Crimson Tide, Arkansas, Arkansas Razorbacks, Auburn, Bama Sucks, BCS, big 10, Big 12, Big East, big ten, big ten football, Big Twelve Football, Bill Callahan, cheaters, Coach Fran, College Football, Crime & Punishment, Crimson Tide, Dennis Franchione, HIPPA, Houston Nutt, Missouri Tigers, NCAA, Nebraska Cornhuskers, retarded, Scams, scandal, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, secrets, Texas A&M | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

The Revelations After a Saturdays Worth of Football Week 9

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 28, 2007

Let’s look at the SEC East Division. Florida beats Tennessee, South Carolina beats Georgia, Tennessee beat both South Carolina & Georgia & Georgia beats Florida. Florida also has other SEC losses to Auburn & LSU. Make sense yet? I didn’t think so.

Georgia perhaps played their best game of the decade against Florida yesterday.

NC State ruins Virginia’s run.

Coming off the by or is it bye? Either way coming off the bye week Clemson is looking good.

Oregon is perhaps the best team in the country.

Will someone please for the love of God beat Hawaii so they will fall to 60th in polls.

Every time Penn State has a “white out” game at night they lose, anyone else notice that?

Thanks Cal the one time I was pulling for you to win, you don’t. I blame Aberclay.

Kansas is beginning to look legitimate.

The team to beat in the Big Least in Uconn. (snicker)

Notice how the pink shirt defense of Nebraska showed up late and let Texas come back to win? Callahan is a goner.

People at Ole Miss are already starting talking about firing Coach 0. That would be a mistake because I enjoy picking on him and he is only in his third season.

Notre Dame didn’t lose yesterday!!! but then again they didn’t play either.

Watch out ACC Wake Forest is starting to come alive.

Give it up for Colorado they need one more win to be bowl eligible.

Iowa sucks less, Michigan State sucks more.

Finally if anyone is still wanting to fire Coach Croom of Mississippi State see below. He deserves to stay.

Oh yeah, you did.

So I profess on this day 10/28/07.


Posted in ACC Football, big ten football, Big Twelve Football, Bill Callahan, Cal, Clemson Tigers, coach o, Colorado Buffalos, Croom, Florida Gators, Georgia Bulldogs, Hawaii Warriors, Iowa Hawkeyes, kansas jayhawks, Kentucky Wildcats, Michigan State Spartons, mississippi state bulldogs, NC State Wolfpack, Nebraska Cornhuskers, North Carolina Tarheels, ohio state buckeyes, Oregon Ducks, Pac 10, Penn State Nittany Lions, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, southern cal, Texas A&M, Texas Longhorns, Uconn, University of California berkeley, University of Southern Cal, upsets, USC, Virginia Cavaliers, Wake Forest | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »