Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

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Posts Tagged ‘Billy Clyde’

Vaya Con Dios, Billy Clyde

Posted by Joel Jackson on March 30, 2009

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Last year, I wrote a piece on Kentucky basketball and their lack of NBA lottery picks the past few years. Anytime we have posted about Kentucky basketball, it is highly read by some Wildcat fans. This post was different though. This one was picked up by a Wildcat blog, and by the time I got off of work, there were 96 comments that were left on the posting. 110 total comments would be posted. Thomas and the Moderator were amazed and pissed at the same time, and frustration over sensitive Wildcat fans invading the place set in. Some of the favorite comments were:

Wow! I love me some jealous, unclassy, can’t look at your own coach’s immoral personal life, still looking for that elusive elite eight, Tennessee Volunteers! Whoa!!!! The round of 16! Everyone come to UT: Where we guarantee mediocrity!-Kyle

I don’t discount your point about the name of the arena being racist. But the rest of your “point” is off to say the least! You are talking about UK not having any players drafted in the lottery, but UT hasn’t even had any players drafted in Pearl’s time. By the way Hopson didn’t leave UK’s program.

Jealousy will not get you anywhere when it comes to recruiting. So now recruiting an 8th grader gets you compared to R.Kelley sexual assault? You should be ashamed of yourself for such a statement. Than again I shouldn’t be surprised, I’ve read your “writing” before!-Jack

1st Round NCAA Tourney exit = Back-to-back bowl bids to ritzy Shreveport.-3rd Down H Back

UK built SEC basketball the same way Alabama built SEC football.

So in response to all of the commentators, I wrote this piece in response to all of the comments. Didn’t really matter though, Wildcat fans were pissed, and even a Pulitzer prize winning journalist (I think) by the name of John Clay of the prestigious (wait, let me get this right) Lexington Herald-Ledger chimed in. Side note: I am still waiting on a response from this Peabody award winning journalist to the e-mail that I sent him.

To all of you Wildcat fans who said that Kentucky was back and happy days were here again, let me just say…

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, good luck in trying to get the sexy name coach. Donovan and Wright have already turned you down. Calipari has a LOADED recruiting class coming in and has FedEx and International Paper money paying his high salary. Anthony Grant, a really good coach, was already snatched up by Alabama. The fact remains that Kentucky, for all of its glitzy facilities and rabid fanbase, will have to really overpay for its next head coach, which means you might have a shot at Cal, but doubtful. Seriously, who would want to coach with reporters like this???


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Posted in Billy Clyde, Billy Donovan, Billy Gillispie, College Basketball, Fail, Kentucky Wildcats, SEC, SEC Basketball, SEC Coaches, Sports | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

A Peek Inside of Billy Clyde’s World

Posted by Joel Jackson on November 17, 2008

Inside the Kentucky Wildcat Locker Room After Friday’s Loss To VMI

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Wow!!! You fucktards really did it now. I cannot believe it. You are not about to embarrass me again. Wait, too late. You guys are really a group of fine individuals. 2 years in a row. I go to Sew Fine Tailors on Euclid Avenue & tell them to hook me up with the finest suit they have, so ol’ Billy Clyde can look sharp as a tack on opening night, and this is how you sissy merries repay me??? Jeremy, bring me my special Gardner-Webb flask…

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(Billy Clyde takes a swig)

You 22 mother fuckers are making me the fucking laughingstock of college basketball. You hear that??? That is ol’ Billy Donovon laughing his ass off. He turned down this job because their wasn’t enough hair gel in this barren wasteland of a state to last a year. He’s got his own personal Soul Glo guy just to style his hair. But not ol’ Billy Clyde. I don’t need gallons of Royal Crown Pomade in my contract. All I need is some of that Kentucky bourbon and some hot poon. Glynn, show these boys the action I got lined up after I leave here. Where’s that fancy iPhone??? Pass it around the locker room and show these sorry ass losers what they almost ruined for Billy Clyde.

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This here is Becky. She is a Miller Lite girl. Now I don’t waste time on beer because it gets in the way. Now you boys might think ol’ Billy Clyde would be in hog heaven, with a hot piece of tail & massive quantities of beer. But that is why you boys are losers. You don’t think. See, ol’ Billy Clyde is warming up.

(Takes 3 more huge swigs out of G-W gas can flask)

Billy Clyde wants it all. That white suit wearing asshole in Louisville is laughing his ass off at ol’ Billy Clyde. I want it all. That piss ant is getting all the glory in this state. I want one of those fancy banners in the rooftops too, so I can use it as a blanket when I am bedding trim in my off time. Tracy, I need 3 tonight.

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Damn Tracy, times must be hard. The economy is in the tank but I get a 4, 7, and 5??? I thought this was Lexington, not Morgantown??? What about the douchebag guys in the background??? Oh well. Bring them too. First time for everything, like you dipshits losing to a 6 win team. See boys, this is how ol’ Billy Clyde is rolling tonight, since you just ruined my season. Thanks. Career high my ass. There’s a reason I left College Station. That cow town had 3 hot chicks, and all of them were horrible in bed. If you are ever driving through Texas & wanna find College Station, let ol’ Billy Clyde tell you how to find it. You will know you are getting close when you start seeing the sheep back ass up to the fences.

Well, you sorry sacks of shit are excused. I will deal with you tomorrow after I give this poon some of Big Billy Clyde. Towelboy, I am taking some towels home. Gonna need that flask too.

Posted in A&E's Intervention, Adolph Rupp, Billy Clyde, Billy Donovan, Billy Gillispie, College Basketball, Condoms, Dead Drunk, Douche Bag, drunk, DUI, gardner webb, Kentucky Wildcats, NCAA, SEC, SEC Coaches, Sports, Texas A&M, whiners | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Billy Gillispie Likes them Young

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 15, 2008

Somewhere in a darkened bar at this very moment. Kentucky coach Billy “I’m a Member of the DUI Team” Gillispie is plotting his revenge on the world of basketball. He is assembling the most futuristic team known to man. That is if and when they finally hit puberty.

Last week the hard working writers at Losers With Socks broke the story of how the Kentucky School President was shocked that Billy G offered an eighth grader a scholarship. Well guess what. That class of 2012 or maybe 2013 will be awesome for Kentucky!!! Billy G is bucking the system and the school prez by offering a ninth grader a scholarship.

Kentucky, which recently received commitments from an Ohio ninth-grader and a California eighth-grader, has offered a scholarship to point guard Jeremiah Davis III of Muncie, Ind. Before it’s over with, UK will begin recruiting sperm in it’s attempts to regain it’s basketball stature.

“I was honored,” Davis said Monday about the offer. “I don’t know if I’m going to take it yet. I’m still a freshman.”

Couple more signings and he’ll be set for the 2013 season. Then he can devote the time he needs to kick back in the bar. I tell you…you have to admire a drunk with a work ethic.

Kentucky will have the best Junior High Team in the country. Did they sign them on the playground? Chuckie Cheese? Jr. High Dance? Do the parents have to sign a letter of intent?

This just in:

University of Kentucky coach Billy Gillispie has landed yet another commitment.

The future prospect, the unnamed fetus of Bertha and Adolf Cutshaw of Corbin Ky, measures 21 inches and 74 pounds at the young age of 7 months.

In an interview with the parents of the University of Kentucky recruit, Adolf Cutshaw was gushing at his son’s 4 inch in-utero vertical leap, however mother Bertha was less than overjoyed.

Coach Gillispie was quoted as saying, “Whatever his name, a player with this much potential will factor greatly, around the year 2026, in bringing Kentucky basketball back to the level it so greatly dererves.”

Rhetorical question. Is it against NCAA rules for a coach to sponsor neo-natal summer camps for potential recruits and the baby mamas?

Kentucky officials also released a news statement:

UK to start adoption plan,The coaching staff at UK is now starting an adoption agency. No questions will be asked, but the child must be male and have a guesstimated heighth of 6ft 8 inches. Weight may vary due to parent(s) giving child child for adoption. The staff must be assured of only the choice quality male child. We are sorry that we can not accept female children, but UK has no need for females due to the fact that UK has no female athletic program.

For additional information contact Billy’s Baby Blue Network.

Posted in Billy Clyde, Billy Gillispie, drunk, DUI, Kentucky Wildcats, SEC Basketball | Tagged: , , , , , | 3 Comments »