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Posts Tagged ‘Charles Barkley’

No one is safe when Charles Barkley tees off

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 18, 2009

Looks like Barkley just lost one potential vote in his Alabama Gubernatorial bid.

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Posted in Charles Barkley, golf | Tagged: , | Leave a Comment »

Barkley to pitch a tent for Sheriff Joe Arpaio

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 25, 2009

If he continues to cover himself in vaseline, that should go over real well in the joint...

 

You know lately I haven’t written much of squat, I’ll admit that. Due to work and other factors I’m an unhappy non-writing camper at the moment. You know who else is not a happy camper right now? You guessed it, Charles Barkley.

Barkley pled guilty to DUI charges in Scottsdale and was sentenced to 10 days in the can, so that mean he should be eligible for parole around March 26. This means that he will only miss only one TNT doubleheader: Pistons at Bulls and Rockets at Jazz on Tuesday, March 24. Some judge in Arizona got kick back for this favorable scheduling there, I’m sure.

Sir Charles also has to pay more than two grand in fines he also has to install an ignition interlock device on all of the vehicles he owns and complete a court-ordered alcohol treatment program. However this worse end of the deal is the fact that the never shy from controversy Barkley will be wearing pink in the clink because he will be serving his time in Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s infamous Tent City Jail where some of the inmates have to wear pink boxers. If this doesn’t have cheap Fox reality TV show written on it then nothing does!

“I’m taking a lot of heat for putting convicted illegal immigrants in the tents. How am I going to discriminate and not put high-profile people in the tents?” Arpaio asked.”

However Sir Charles will be on a working release so he will actually leave the prison from 8 a.m. and return 8 p.m. that same day because the reality is the prison stint is just one of the qualifiers to being Alabama’s governor. Strangely enough, the ’round mound’ means something completely different in prison showers.

When this is over with I’m sure Barkley will be a better person, let’s just all hope he doesn’t come out and say “That prison rape was turrrurrible.”

For the record I’m sure Barkley saw enough pink underwear from his days of playing with Kevin Johnson.

Posted in Charles Barkley, DUI, dumbass, Fines, NBA, Sheriff Joe Arpaio, Tent City | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Broken Plays: The TGIF Edition

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 20, 2009

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I know it’s been awhile since I ran a Broken Plays segment. So sue me.

MoonDogSports.com is reporting about how Charles Barkley will star in a golf-themed reality show. This of course cause me to wonder if Barkley will be the first person to bet on the fact that he will get a DUI on a golf cart.

The boys over at the Third Saturday in Blogtober have a new look and an excellent write-up about how the Atlanta Journal Constitution has become something a lot less than journalism.

Ashton Kutcher will try to ruin the game of football by playing a “superstar NFL QB” who trades bodies with some 12 year-old geek. Initial reports have Eli Manning cast as the 12 year old geek. In my opinion Faces of Death had more laughs in it than this pile of shit will ever get.

The Washington Nationals’ prized recruit has been caught lying about his name & age. This falsifying of the birth certificates of Latin-born players is just destroying the credibility of baseball.

Did Dr. Phil just shave his mustache on the left?

Is Baseball worse than pro-wrestling? It is if you believe Jesse “The Body” Ventura and he actually brings up some good points.

“My question is: They’ve now determined 104 baseball players failed their steroid test in 2003 – 104! They indicted Vince McMahon, why aren’t they indicting Bud Selig?”

Yahoo!’s Dan Wetzel agrees with Jesse and even further states that Major League Baseball under Bud Selig might even be steroid friendly than the days of Hulk-a-Mania.

“McMahon, who beat the conspiracy to distribute steroids charges in 1994, actually ran an honest operation compared to Selig. While Hulk Hogan may have claimed he was just “eating his vitamins,” anyone over the age of 12 understood the entire thing was make-believe, just entertainment.

Not Selig. Not baseball. They clung to an illusion they either knew wasn’t true or should’ve known wasn’t true. When confronted repeatedly with facts that the game was a sham, they reacted at a glacial pace.

Selig is so surrounded by yes-men and so comforted by apologists in the media – or organizations willing to suspend anyone who mocks him – that he believes his own lunacy.”

“That Selig.
Son of a bitch is dug in like an Alabama tick.”

Jessie Ventura as “Blain” in Predator.

I’ll admit freely that I’m a fan of the TV show Paranormal State. Now E! has a new take on ghost hunting that involves hot chicks in little IQ and scary places. Welcome to Hot Girls In Scary Places, starring the USC song girls.

“They’re totally scared, and totally believe experiences they’re going through,” says executive producer Gary Auerbach. “They’ll get scared and then be talking about a sorority party coming up. It’s a little bit ‘Scooby Doo’-ish.”

I think Weird Al already used this idea in UHF. I think some paranormal activity might be going in my pants. Quick, I need the USC Song Girls to investigate. (I realize that was crass but it sure is funny)

burnt-bama-hahaha

Regardless of what anyone thinks I was not in Tuscaloosa yesterday!!! I have an alibi, isn’t that right Joel? (wink wink nudge nudge)

My pick for next year’s NBA Slam Dunk contest is David Stern.

sb-david-stern-r

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Ashton Kutcher, Bud Selig, Charles Barkley, cheaters, DAvid Stern, Jesse "The Body" Ventura, NBA, University of Southern Cal, USC, Vince Mcmahon, Washington Nationals, wrestling, WWE | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Dwyane Wade can relax now that T-Mobil has dropped Charles Barkley

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 15, 2009

Nice outfit, Chuck. Apparently you’ve gone from the Round Mound of Rebound to the Drab Flab of Rehab.

Who knew that driving while intoxicating and then telling the arresting officer that you ran a stop sign because you were on your way to get a blowjob would get you dropped by T-Mobil? Is this still not America we live in? Maybe Barkley should have considered a limo service for his Fave 5.

Then again after a careful look at the situation maybe it wasn’t the drinking, whoring or gambling. Maybe it was the shirt in his mug shot. T-Mobile could not condone that.

Don’t tell me that T-Mobile didn’t know Barkley was an obnoxious asshole when they first signed him to do their advertising?

Was him getting a DUI while on his way to a BJ really such a deviation from anything Barkley did before they signed him up???

I’m betting Sir Charles’ new Fav 5 consists of:

  1. His attorney
  2. The producers at TNT so can beg to keep his job
  3. The country club because tee times must still be made
  4. His bookie of course
  5. Heidi Fleiss

The only person who wants Charles Barkley’s endorsement right now is Gene Chizik.

Posted in Charles Barkley, DUI, Dwyane Wade, Gene Chizik, T-Mobil | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

Broken Plays: Happy 2009 Edition

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 2, 2009

sany0308

Woo hoo 2009 is here and you know what means right? It means you put the past behind you and look to the future.

Welcome to Tennessee Coach 0, I sure have missed you. That’s right folks I’m going to have to get Cajun man out of retirement because Coach 0 has left the Saints while snubbing LSU and joined King Kiffin’s staff at Tennessee. All this of course means I have new ammo to make fun of my favorite team.

Yaw yaw Go Vols yaw.

Welcome back Cajun Man

I’m gonna leave this blog…and when I get back I’m not gonna have a shirt on….and the rest of you (*&%$%*^s better have their shirt off too…and if anyone in this %*&^*^% room thinks they can take me…then BRING IT!!!

wOw…sOrry…I think I just blacked Out…did I just say sOmething?

See? That was easy!

Congrats to Jerod Mayo former Tennessee defensive God and this years NFL Defensive Rookie of the year!!!

The former University of Tennessee standout was a nearly unanimous choice, earning 49 of 50 votes Wednesday from a nationwide panel of sports writers and broadcasters who cover the league.

Sir Charles Barkley’s political aspirations aren’t starting off as well as he would have liked.

As most of you know he was cited for a DUI on New Years Eve but now there are something rather interesting circumstances surrounding this situation.

The Smoking Gun has the full report:

According to the officer who wrote the report, “He told me that he ran the stop sign because he was in a hurry to pick up the girl I saw get in the passenger seat.”

The officer continues: “He asked me to admit that she was ‘hot.’ He asked me, ‘You want the truth?’ When I told him I did he said, ‘I was gonna drive around the corner and get a b**w job. He then explained that she had given him a ‘b**w job’ one week earlier and said it was the best one he had ever had in his life.”

The report says when Barkley was taken to the station, he told one of the employees, “I’ll tattoo my name on your ass” if he helped “get him out of the DUI.” According to the report, “He laughed and then quickly corrected himself and said, ‘I’ll tattoo your name on my ass’ and then laughed again.”

Well that would explain the sweatiness in the mug shot. The old “blow job around the corner” trick, been there tried that. Nice try Sir Charles.

But everyone wants to know it the same “girl” Eddie Murphy picked up a bunch of years ago?

Denver fires Mike Shanahan and yet Norv Turner will most likely remain employed this year. I like Mike Shanahan but I see it was time for him to go after 13 seasons and 2 super bowl victories.

Is it me or does he look like a zombie in the photo below?

Posted in Charles Barkley, coach o, Denver Broncos, DUI, Ed Orgeron, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, SEC, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Iowa State fondly remembers Gene Chizik

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 30, 2008

This was taken from Iowa State central campus web-cam. Charles Barkely would have written the message in yellow.

Posted in Auburn, Big Twelve Football, Charles Barkley, Gene Chizik, Iowa State Cyclones, SEC Football | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Charles Barkley makes fun of Isiah Thomas and his suicide attempt

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 29, 2008

The round mound of rebound and potential 2014 gubernatorial nominee for the state of Alabama, Sir Charles Barkley, beat me to the punch in making fun of the suicide attempt of Isiah Thomas. Damn my work schedule.

Sir Charles while commenting on the state of the once great Knicks franchise made this remark:

In discussing ways in which the Knicks should be improved this season, Barkley said, “I think they have a better coach. This coach probably won’t try to kill himself.”

Barkley, usually not one to shy from potentially insensitive remarks, seemed to sense his attempt at humor had crossed a line. “That’s my fault,” he said.

Well the odds of attempted suicide go up astronomically with each year when one chooses to coach the Knicks, so I wouldn’t count my Kurt Cobains before they hatch.

In all honesty I don’t believe Barkley meant to make that quip. Charles is now my role model, whether he likes it or not.

I’m betting D’Antoni was watching the presser and slowly put the bottle down and put the pills down and for the first time in a month looked into the mirror and sobbed.

I guess that Charles still needs to figure out the old Tragedy +Time=Comedy equation a little sooner.

Charles for Governor!

Posted in Charles Barkley, dumbass, Isiah Thomas, suicide, TNT | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »