Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Posts Tagged ‘classless’

Bama to give up 21 wins

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 12, 2009


Alabama football will be forced to give up 21 wins from the 2005-07 seasons. Does that really hurt? No, not really. In all 16 athletic programs and 201 athletes were involved in a textbook scam. 

Five players were suspended from the team in 2007 after it was revealed that they used their scholarship benefits to gain free textbooks for other students. Officials were immediately suspicious when athletes decided to pick up any textbooks at all.  However, since the violations allegedly started in 2005, any victory from those three seasons that those players participated in would have to be vacated. The school will also be on the never ending probation for three years and have to pay a fine. 

Vacating wins means absolutely nothing. It doesn’t take back the booster money or tickets sales that those wins generated. The only true way to hurt a school is to take away scholarships, and the NCAA will not be doing that, even though Alabama is a multiple repeat offender. This particular offense is very minor and so is the punishment, even if the NCAA probably wants you to think otherwise. 

Mike Price is celebrating by heading to the strip club…”Roll Tide, right coach?”

“It’s rolling, baby!”

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, cheaters, classless, Fuck Bama, NCAA Rules Violation, Nick Saban, SEC | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

20 Girls + One Long Pole + Jim Edmonds = I need to take a trip to St. Louis

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 6, 2009

Jim Edmonds previously played for the St. Louis Cardinals before going to the loser Cubs. Like some professional athletes Edmonds has business ventures outside of sports. One such business is the F15teen Restaurant and Lounge.

Edmonds is giving some young lady the chance of a lifetime by winning his newest invention that I have dubbed the Stripper Battle Royal.

Talk about class! One pole, 20 girls and yes tonight Edmonds will be there in person. This is sort of, well, exactly what I would do if I was Jim Edmonds for a day. At least for tonight he will cover more grass in one day than he has for about 2 seasons now.

Edmond’s has just opened a store account at Verlo Mattress in anticipation of the stripper killing he will be doing during this event.

Posted in Chicago Cubs, classless, Jim Edmonds, Major League Baseball, MLB, Role Model, St. Louis Cardinals, Stripper Pole, Strippers | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Michael Vick, Chickens & You

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 26, 2009


As most people know I have zero love for Michael Vick or anyone else who abuses animals for that matter. That’s just how I roll. Now that Vick is in a halfway house and is looking to get back in the NFL, PETA is again stepping in requesting that Vick undergo some physiological testing and a brain scan.

When Vick was convicted in ’07, he enrolled and participated in PETA’s sensitivity training and little did I know until recently, his results are online on PETA’s website.

Vick scored a 73.5 out of a 100. One thing I can say for Vick is his handwriting is way neater than mine. However his answers are both surprising and well amusing.

Vick obliviously loves chickens. I do too especially when it’s fried.

Here are some quotes from PETA’s “Developing Empathy for Animals” test that Vick took.

  • “Chickens have an uncanny ability to think and are very agile. They are very athletic to me”.
  • Vick describes the sadness that elephants feel when “visiting the grave site of another family member…rubbing the bones with their trunks and…crying out in grief”. He also writes about the “deer who wouldn’t leave his mate and took a [bullet] for her” and the “piglet who went after the drowning little boy in a story I read. Now that’s heroic”.
  • Vick describes the golden rule as, “Do on to others as u want them to do on to u” (instructor’s note: “right”). He states he can apply it to his life by “showing [animals] that I care and accept them (as long as the feeling is mutual)” (instructor’s note: “not right”).
  • “My Aunt Tina own[ed] a Rotti named Tico. Once my aunt and her boyfriend Wayne [were] having an intense fight. Tico couldn’t get into the house and thought my Aunt Tina was in danger. She jump[ed] through a glass window and pin[ned] my Aunt boyfriend Wayne to the ground just growling until my Aunt called her off. Now that’s loyalty.”

The real question is if the chickens have respect for Michael Vick.

Coming this summer…Bad Newz Chicken Coop.

I’m against Vick playing in the NFL again but I also can’t stand PETA as well. So that being said, I gotta say, if you are going to apply the golden rule to animals and elevate them to the same moral status as man, Vick’s interpretation of how it should be applied has some merit.

So fuck you, Mr. “Not Right” instructor, and go find me some pictures of naked vegans.

Posted in classless, dumbass, Michael Vick, NFL Football, PETA, pitbull, Ron Mexico | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

College Football Week 14 is in the books & here’s what I learned

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 30, 2008

Yes folks I decided to take some time away from writing and enjoy the Thanksgiving weekend, I hope you had a pleasant and happy Thanksgiving.

I dub yesterday as disappointment day with the exception of Tennessee. I don’t mean to gloat, well…actually I do but this is the worst team that Tennessee has even placed on the field and yet Kentucky still couldn’t beat them. The streak lives on because Tennessee is Tennessee and Kentucky is Kentucky.

I’ll have a full write up on that game tomorrow.

Notre Dame put up a fight against USC at least until kickoff occurred. The Irish kept interrupting the Trojans’ pregame warmups which resulted in punches thrown and the Po Po intervening. Of course in the end Southern Cal proved what everyone knows and that is Notre Dame is a horrid team. Next stop on the Brian Kelly rumor-mill…why I’m betting Notre Dame.

Georgia seriously screws my picks up and loses to Georgia Tech.

Same old South Carolina, they still can’t beat their arch rivals the Clemson Tigers even though Clemson has an interim head coach. Hopefully this win will lead to Clemson offering the job to Dabo Swinney.

The Ole Ball (Sac) Coach is plenty mad after this embarrassment which lead Spurrier to degrade his players even further publicly. Honestly I’m wondering if he has lost this team. The reason I say that is because at the end of the game South Carolina tried to start a fight instead of shaking hands…classless.

Florida did what everyone thought they would do and beat up Florida State.

With Boston College and Virginia Tech both winning yesterday it looks like a rematch is set for the ACC title game. The same game that didn’t sell 50% of the tickets last year. Joy…

Alabama ends the Auburn winning streak they had against Bama…rather soundly at that. Time will tell if Auburn is foolish enough to fire Coach Turbeville.

No Rose bowl for you Oregon State, unless by some miracle UCLA can upset Southern Cal. Oregon State got hammered by the ugly uniform wearing Ducks of Oregon.

Oklahoma and Oklahoma State was a closer game than what the score indicates and it was a great game. Hats off to both teams.

Posted in ACC Football, Auburn, Big Twelve Football, boston college, Brian Kelly, classless, Clemson Tigers, Dabo Swinney, Fights, Florida Gators, Florida State Seminoles, Fulmer, Georgia Bulldogs, Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, Hokies, Kentucky Wildcats, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, notre dame sucks, Oklahoma sooners, Oklahoma State Cowboys, Old Ball Sack Coach, Oregon Ducks, Oregon State Beavers, Phillip Fulmer, Rocky Top, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, southern cal, Tennessee Volunteers, Tommy Tuberville, USC, Virginia Tech | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

You know that Mindy McCready chick is really turning into a media whore

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 19, 2008

The never ending story of Mindy “I’m now a media whore” McCready & Roger “I’m a jacked up steroid using, wife cheating bastard” Clemens is now taken yet another strange turn.

Media Whore Mindy told Inside Edition that contrary to other published reports she didn’t meet Clemens when she was fifteen instead she was sixteen and relations didn’t occur until “years later”.

So he wasn’t a pedophile, just a philandering douche. I guess that moves him up to a significantly less horrific circle of hell.

“Carrying on a relationship with him is not something I’m proud of,” she said, according to a partial transcript released by the show. “Roger Clemens is one of the most wonderful men I’ve ever known. … He treated me like a princess.”

“We never had a meeting in secret. We went on vacations together. We went to Palm Springs. We went to Las Vegas, New York City,” McCready told Inside Edition. “I wanted him to do right by me … and when he wouldn’t, I broke it off.”

McCready also apologizes to Clemens’ wife, Debbie, and says that at one point she wanted to end it all. “I have nothing but remorse and nothing but sympathy for what [Debbie] had to go through with this situation, and she has my utmost apology,” she told Inside Edition.

Now many of you might remember me reporting on a documentary that was being filmed about McSlutty, well with the timing of this interview, it might be a safe guess that it’s about to be released.

I’m guessing that both will be on Surreal Life here in a few years.

Posted in cheaters, classless, Douche Bag, Mindy McCready, Roger Clemens, secrets, steroids | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

When (sports) parents go over the top

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 30, 2008

This posting will be a semi-funny/semi-serious posting. I’m going to look at three very different situations of when parents of athletes or if the parent is an athlete, go really over the top.

The first case is Tye Burke

Tye is an above average soccer dad. His daughter plays soccer so being a good dad he attends all the games. He also is teaching his little one how to treat other people with respect and keeping your cool. That is if you consider pointing a loaded gun at the head of the soccer coach’s husband respectful and keeping cool.

Investigators tell NewsChannel 11 that Burke got into a fight with the female coach of his child’s soccer team. The soccer association tells us the children playing at the time were between seven and eight years old. Apparently, the coach’s husband tried to stop Burke from yelling at his wife, and that’s when the two men got into an argument in the stands. The police report states that the victim pushed Burke, and then Burke pulled a handgun and pointed it at the victim’s head. Police say an off-duty prison guard tackled Burke, and got the gun away from him.

Just because you have a permit to carry a concealed weapon doesn’t mean you take it to a child’s soccer game. Only in Texas would a parent show up being heavily armed. Maybe he is just trying to compensate for being too much of a wimp to let his kid play youth football.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in BYU, Chicago Bears, classless, Isiah Thomas, NBA, New York Knicks, suicide attempt, zeke | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Mocking the Cubs could replace the WNBA

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 9, 2008

I received a rather hateful e-mail accusing me of taking pleasure in the pain of the Cubs fans. I was shocked…SHOCKED at this accusation, then I realized that they were right and promptly started laughing in an evil manner.

I’m not the only one who is making fun of the Cubs. In fact I found an amusing video in which the Daily Show with Jon Stewart mentions the Cubs.

JON STEWART: Cubs fans are considered a subset of stupid?
JOHN OLIVER: Oh absolutely John. They’ve had a hundred years to figure out that what they want will never happen, and yet they still yearn for it.
JS: And that is stupid.
JO: Yes, that’s very stupid.
JS: Because the Cubs will never win.
JO: No, that’s right John. The Chicago Cubs will never, ever win the World Series. They won’t do it.
JS: They’ve made God angry.
JO: That’s right. That’s what I’m saying.


And check this shirt out. (Note we here at YMSSWC are not political in any means but the shirt is funny as hell)

It’s hard NOT to make fun of the Cubs especially after they blatantly vandalized the visitor’s dugout in Los Angeles after getting swept by the Dodgers.

Moments after the final out (Alfonso Soriano fanning on three pitches), one of the Cubs — maybe two, maybe all 25 — took something large and hard, like a shoe or bat or sledgehammer, and busted a fair-sized water pipe at the back of the visitors’ dugout.

Water gushed out, and very quickly the floor of the area leading into the locker room was flooded.

White Sox fans in the Chicago area are making my mocking look like child’s play and are taking sweet sweet revenge.

Sunday morning at the Cubs house. A battery-operated CD player with a timer went off at exactly 7:30. A bullhorn is attached to the CD player. The whole contraption is placed right outside the Cubs couple’s bedroom. Blasting out of the bullhorn is a very loud and painfully slow version of “Go Cubs Go.”




Ah, but the Sox husband couldn’t leave it at that. No, as the Cubs husband sought the source of the noise, he ventured out to his front yard. There he found 100 lawn signs with nothing but a drawing of a billy goat stuck in the ground. Yes, 100 signs. For some reason, that number rings a bell.

What happened to the good old’ days where you got revenge on someone by killing their house pets?

So you see I’m being nice about my mocking…for now. Now it’s your turn. Add a caption for the picture below.

Posted in Chicago Cubs, Chicago White Sox, classless, Major League Baseball, MLB | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Making fun of the Chinese must be tradition in Spain

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 15, 2008

The dude in the back in the pink shirt thinks the Chinese stereotype is that they rock out to Slayer.

Even though a lot of people are shocked at the photo that Spain’s Olympic basketball team posed for, that doesn’t stop other athletes from Spain from making fun of Orientals as well.

Spain’s 2008 Federation Cup Tennis team, which beat China to move into the finals, was photographed in a similar pose. The above photo from the Spanish Tennis Federation’s site.

How is it possible for that many people (who you’d think would have SOME experience being in the public eye) to be so socially unaware? How is it even POSSIBLE to be that clueless?

The Chinese teams should counter with sombreros.

Posted in China, classless, Spain, tennis, The Olympics | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Spain Olympic basketball team could face a detention

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 12, 2008

Wait, why are my gardeners making fun of the ladies who do my dry-cleaning? JOKING relax people

The Guardian is reporting that Spain’s Basketball Federation had the nerve to  publish a good luck advertisement for their men’s team, the  Non-NBA “world” champions, and actually used the above photo

Of course you can see they are standing pulling at the sides of their eyes in a slit-eyed gesture.



Dirty Knees!

Look at these!!!!

(Makes fake boobies under shirt)

Give Spain credit for playing mind games with the Chinese albeit rather middle schoolish & gosh. Of course Team USA didn’t need mind games they just dominated the Chinese.

This should really help Spain’s quest to host the Olympics in 2016 and 2020 and erase those accusations of racism which have been leveled against the country in the past few years.

China will get the last laugh when the Spanish basketball team ingests the urine filled Coca-Cola.

Posted in basketball, China, classless, Spain, The Olympics | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Gee Cubs fans you actually wonder why you’re considered classless?

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 9, 2008

No not all Cubs are classless morons but the select ones that are take the cake or in this case the water jug.

A tall, semi-attractive female reporter is attempting to do a news report outside Wrigley Field.

However, a Chicago Cubs fan covered entirely in blue paint thought it would be cool to dump a cooler full of water on her. Is that guy the Gargamel/Smurfette love child?

Then again on the south side they just beat the shit out of visitors, so pick your poison.

Of course “cool acts” such as these are always videotaped and uploaded to YouTube by such classless dimwits.

The idiotic ironic of this is the guy yelling, “Welcome to Chicago,” at the end of the video.

I’ve been to Chicago several times; hell I almost took a job with the Rockford police department years ago. Rockford is the second largest city in Illinois and 30 minutes from Chicago for those that didn’t know. Funny nothing like that every happened to me when I was there which is good thing because I would have been arrested for murder.

Further proof that:

  1. Cubs fans are idiots
  2. Cubs will never win the World Series
  3. You can never trust the Orientals (joking 🙂 )

Posted in Chicago Cubs, classless, dumbass, Major League Baseball, MLB | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »