Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Posts Tagged ‘conVick’

At 2:26 PM Today the Official One Year Anniversary Begins

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 27, 2008

Wow, one solid year of writing this crap for you peons sharing our thoughts on sports related subjects.

First & for most I would like to thank Joel and Ghetto Philosopher for being the men that they are first and contributing writers second. I would thank Billy Bob Bammer and Little Bear Cub but they’re Bama bastards.

I also thank the following blogs in no particular order for inspiration and for giving me laughs when I sometimes need it the most.

I also want to thank the following people/teams/morons & all around idiots for giving such great material.

  • Steve God Spurrier and the USC thugs
  • Florida Gaytors
  • Cheating Bammers
  • O.J. “Slasher” Simpson
  • Michael Vick
  • University of West Virginia
  • New York Yank’mees
  • Every athlete that has been arrested this past year
  • Roger Clemens
  • Mindy Mccready
  • Jerrell Powe
  • Danica Patrick
  • Adam Pacman Jones

But mostly I want to thank you the readers. Whether we have pissed you off or made you laugh thank you for stopping by. The writers and I look forward to another year of slamming your favorite team and/or sports personality.


Posted in Adam Jones, Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, conVick, Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, Florida Gators, Jerrell Powe, Michael Vick, new york yankees, Ole Miss, ole miss rebels, Pacman Jones, Po Po, Roll Tide, Ron Mexico, satire, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Steve Spurrier, West Virginia Mountaineers, white trash, WTF, WVU, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

According to Prison Officials Either Arthur Blank or Vick is Lying about Playing Football (I’m Banking on the Latter)

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 9, 2008

Just one day after the owner of the Atlanta Falcons Author Blank proclaimed in an interview with the New York Daily News that Vick is playing ball in prison to keep his body in shape, his arm limber and hoping to avoid rapists to pass the time, federal prison officials told the Journal-Constitution that Vick did not arrive at the Leavenworth Federal Penitentiary Camp in time to participate in the facility’s football season.

Uh oh someone is fibbing…gee I wonder who it could be. ConVICK’ed felon Michael or billionaire Blank. Hmm…the mind ponders this.

“Apparently, there was a prison football team and he played quarterback for both sides,” Blank told the Daily News. He was referring to statements dog killer Vick said in letters he wrote to Blank.

When told of Blank’s account of Vick’s football activity at the prison, a spokesman for Leavenworth sounded “incredulous,” according to the Journal-Constitution.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kevin Johnson told the newspaper.

A spokesperson for the U.S. Bureau of Prisons told the Journal-Constitution, however, that Vick might be throwing a football in his free time but he also might be getting gang raped and making license plates to pass the time as well.

Then the spokesperson clarified and said “No wait he’s washing pots and pans so being gang raped is more the sure thing. Either way both are great at passing time. However, Vick is on my federal correctional facility fantasy team.”

I wonder if there is a salary cap involved here

“It’s not unheard of for inmates to toss around a football,” Tracy Billingsley another prison spokesperson told the newspaper. “But there just are no games until the fall.”

I think Billingsley meant to say Vick had not COMPLETED any passes in the prison football league.

She also clarified to the newspaper that the inmates play only flag football at the facility and that tackle football aroused the bitch inmates to much.

Wow, they have a deadline to sign up for football in jail? Do they have free agency in jail too? Are we going to be watching a televised Jail house Flag Football game in the Fall?

Blank, through a spokesperson of his own, declined to be interviewed by the Journal-Constitution.

If Blank could pull some strings to get Vick moved to Nash Correctional Institution, he could be tossing bombs to Rae Carruth. How cool would that be?

By the way, the prison checkers league kicks off in February 2009, and the season will last two weeks. The deadline for sign up was two years ago. They’re totally running out of time to get everything organized and set up.

Posted in Ass Whipping, Atlanta Falcons, conVick, court tv, Crime & Punishment, dog fighting, Michael Vick, Ron Mexico | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Michael Vick Supports Illegal Immigration

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 28, 2008

Michael Vick, the anti-hero for old and young alike, apparently doesn’t like prison as much as some thought. According to they spoke with a friend who has a friend, who is the mechanic of some dude that is the garbage man whose relative is currently incarcerated with Mike Vick in Leavenworth Federal Penitentiary – in the same cell block.

And that person claims:

“Michael Vick is not in [administrative segregation] – he’s right there with the rest of the inmates. A few [inmates] stepped to him when he first got there but everything is cool now … My [family member] says that he’s paying a Mexican gang to keep him safe.”

OK I admit I was wrong because I figured the Mexican Mafia would be pissed about him adopting their heritage, sue me. (Except for LawVol cause he would win) One thing is certain Vick getting better protection now than when he played for the Falcons.

With any luck we’ll see Clemens join him soon and at the rate the arrests are piling up in Knoxville…”The Longest Yard 2: Reality is a MoFo Bitch” will be coming soon to DVD everywhere.

Posted in classless, conVick, court tv, Crime & Punishment, dog fighting, Michael Vick | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Remember Everyone Tomorrow is “V-Day”

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 9, 2007

No, not Valentines Day, but instead a day that promises to be better. Tomorrow is the day Michael Vick is sentenced for his role as a financier of a brutal dogfighting ring. I’ve been looking forward for this day for quite sometime.

There’s a possibility he could receive five years. Whether he benefited from a public apology and a voluntary early start of serving his sentence is up to only one man, and that man is U.S. District Judge Henry E. Hudson. Of course I’m sure that the judge will also remember that Vick failed a drug test, a violation of the conditions set for Vick’s release after he pleaded guilty.

Vick faces a maximum of five years in prison. Hudson is not bound by sentencing guidelines that suggest a year to 18 months, or prosecutors’ recommendation, and I pray that Vick gets what exactly he deserves.

Vick admitted he bankrolled the “Bad Newz Kennels” dogfighting enterprise on a 15-acre property he owned in rural southeastern Virginia. He also gave his associates money to bet on the fights but said he did not share in any winnings. (cough BS cough)

The judge could take this info and say if it wasn’t for the money this would have never happened in the first place. And if he does that, he would be correct.

But there’s more Vick admitted helping kill six to eight pit bulls. Any details the judge learns about exactly what Vick did could weigh heavily in his decision. Vick should be thankful I’m not judge.

The Atlanta-based New Order Human Rights Organization plans to send members to support Vick, why I have no fucking clue. Let’s all support a spoiled star who kills dogs…that’s a brillant idea, if you’re a fucking moronic douche bag.

One thing I’m certain of, tomorrow will officially end Vick’s NFL career.

Vick’s “notes” before he made his public “apology”.

So I profess on this day 12/09/07.


Posted in conVick, court tv, Crime & Punishment, dog fighting, Michael Vick, Vick, Vick Plea | Tagged: , , , , , , | 2 Comments »