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Posts Tagged ‘Crimson Tide’

The Big Orange Roundtable Alabama Week Edition

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 22, 2008

That’s right folks it’s Alabama week and one can not have an Alabama week with the Big Orange Roundtable now can we? Taking a cue from the 3rd Saturday in Blogtober, both Billy Bob Bammer and I will be answering the questions this week.

With out further a due let’s go to the roundtable!!! (Never mind the smell it’s Bama related)

Both teams at some point or another have been described as an Evil Empire.  If your team is the Death Star, what is its planet-destroying weapon?

Thomas the Terrible: Simple Eric Berry. He is the crusher of the dreams for the QB’s and hits like hell, just ask Knowshon Moreno. He has already accumulated 5 interceptions this season and leads the county in interceptions as well.

He is a lock for all-American and possibly defensive player of the year in the SEC, unless the ref that tackled Stephen Garcia steals it. Not to mention he is also a tackling machine.

Billy Bob Bammer: Shoot that there is a easy one. Our boosters. You see our boosters pay the players more than what they might receive in the NFL. How the hell you think we get such good players in the first place?

The one thing a young man needs to worry when coming to Bama is football. You say you have a test in painting by numbers? Our boosters will gladly take that test for you.

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Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Bear is Dead, Beat Bama, boosters, Crime & Punishment, Crimson Tide, fire philip fulmer, Fulmer, fulmer sucks, GBO, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, Nick Saban, Nick Stephens, Phillip Fulmer, SEC, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, The Big Orange Roundtable, UT vols | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

College Football Week 5 is in the books & here’s what I learned

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 28, 2008

Ah how I love upsets and there were plenty for this week.

Well the Fulmer death clock continues to tick…as always be expecting a full game grade tomorrow after I watch a tape of the game today.

Don’t look now but UCONN is 5-0, you should expect them to be ranked.

Michigan State is a contender for now…but for some reason they always implode mid season.

Speaking of imploding, Syracuse actually led Pittsburgh but ultimately lost. There’s internet chatter about Lloyd Carr becoming the next Orangemen coach.

Clemson…WTF? Oh, wait my mistake…the annual Tommy Bowden fail is occurring.

Northwestern is 5-0 and Iowa still sucks.

The miracle that occurred in the Miami-North Carolina game was amazing to watch.

Gee. Urban…is fourth down and one yard to go. You trail by one with time quickly ticking away. Why didn’t you try the 49 yard field goal? Was it arrogance? At least update the play book and run something other than a Tebow keeper. Great win for Ole Miss and the Rev. Nutt.

Fresno state continues to win and I love it.

I’m getting sick and damn tired of seeing that stupid Olive Garden commercial that they were over playing last year.

I hate F$U when I pick them to win, they let down. Win I pick to lose they win. Bastards!

Look out Notre Dame is 3-1 let’s place them in the Top 5 stat!

Rich “Dirty Sanchez” Rodriguez gets a huge…huge win against a top 10 Wisconsin team.

I hope you enjoyed your visit to the top 25 East Carolina because it is officially over.

Wow…Navy beats Wake Forest…just how bad does the ACC suck?

Oklahoma should have scored more points than they did.

South Carolina struggled against a UAB team that Tennessee blew out…interesting.

Wow Miss. State does have an offense after all, to bad they lost though.

Look for South Florida to enter the top 10 this week.

Welcome back Virginia Tech. however the first year Nebraska coach actually helped your cause by getting a 15 yard penalty for “debating” a call with the ref.

I hope Ty Willingham has called North American Moving by now.

What can I say about Alabama…other than they cheat, but they laid it on Georgia. Anyone else notice that Nick Saban is sporting the Behr Bryant alcoholism red nose?

Don’t look now but Duke is 3-1 and the Virginia coach is probably and should be suicidal at this point.

Joe Pa rules bitches but give the fighting Zookers credit for keeping it respectable.

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, alcoholics, Bama Cheats, Big East, big ten football, Big Twelve Football, Clemson Tigers, Crimson Tide, David Cutcliffe, Duke Blue Devils, East Carolina Pirates, fire philip fulmer, Florida Gators, Florida State Seminoles, Georgia Bulldogs, Herban Meyer, Houston Nutt, Illinois Fighting Illini, Internet Rumors, Joe Pa, Joe Paterno, jorts, Lloyd Carr, LSU Tigers, Miami hurricanes, Michigan State Spartons, Michigan Wolverines, Nebraska Cornhuskers, Nick Saban, North Carolina Tarheels, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, notre dame sucks, Oklahoma sooners, Pac 10 football, Penn State Nittany Lions, Roll Tide, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Skip Holtz, South Florida Bulls, suicide, Tennessee Volunteers, UCLA, Uga, upsets, Urban Meyer, Virginia Tech, Wisconsin Badgers, WTF, Zooker | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Billy Bob Bammer 1 The Rogue Cop of West Columbia 0

Posted by Billy Bob Bammer on August 29, 2008

It seems that tricking the Rogue Cop of West Columbia is easier than I thought. Since he announced the news that he was looking for me I’ve been covering my tracks purdy good. RTR!

The latest twist is he thinks he broke into my house and seized some meth-making equipment but it wasn’t my house it was my cousin’s house, Berry Bob Bammer. RTR

This is my place go compare it to that dump Berry lives in. RTR (Sorry Berry)

See I own several Jimmy Johns franchises in and around the T-Town Ghetto area so I quit dealing with meth…errr I mean I’m a legit business man. However Berry unfortunately thinks he can make meth more marketable. He has even talked of opening a Mike Price strip club.

See what people like the Rogue Cop doesn’t understand is those big time Bama boosters like me are protected by the spirit of the Behr. RTR!

As you can see from the photo below we’re presently building an alter to the Behr and for that added realism effect, the hat was doused with copious amounts of bourbon. RTR! The hat would have been bigger, but Phil Fulmer secretly conspired with the NCAA to force the manufacturer to keep it at 550 pounds.

I'm protected by the spirit of the Behr. RTR!

I hear Auburn’s doing the same thing only with a giant Massengale Bottle in honor of Tuberville. RTR! There’s also a rumor floating around that Auburn has recruited the “Super Best Friends” to construct and animate a giant Bo Jackson to break in and steal our giant Behr Bryant alter, but don’t worry we’ll be ready for them. RTR!

Anywho back to Rogue Cop…see we’re protected from all forms of justice. Logan Young didn’t become a martyr for nuffin! Now there is a splinter group that call themselves Sabantologist…they might be AS protected as I am but they are protected because Saban is the Behr reincarnated! RTR!

Better luck next time Rogue Cop I’m Atlanter bound to watch the Tide score 300 points against Clemson.

RTR Bitches!

Posted in ACC Football, Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Clemson Tigers, Crime & Punishment, Crimson Tide, Roll Tide, SEC Football | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

You damn Hawgs! You’ll never beat us!!

Posted by Billy Bob Bammer on July 31, 2008

Mrs Bammer love Arkansas love. Losers!

Good God almighty I’m tired. I just got back from cutting the kilos and getting ready for the grand opening of my own “Jimmy Johns” franchise. (wink wink) Now that things have settled down here I have time to celebrate the “Logan Young National Championship in Recruiting” and what the hell do I find out? Arkansas is attempting to steal the Fulmer Cup from us? rtr

Ernest Mitchell faces misdemeanor drug and gun charges after a traffic stop? What is this, the sixth player arrested this year, and the third in two months? I’ll admit it’s impressive but Bobby Petrino ain’t any Lord Saban!!! RTR!

However I am impressed with the Fayetteville police department. Mitchell was caught with a small-caliber gun, drug paraphernalia and what was believed to be a small amount of marijuana in his car.

Hey Mitchell come me I’ll hook your Hawg ass up!

Here is the kicker fellow Bammers, Mitchell wasn’t arrested but was given a citation for misdemeanor charges and allowed to leave. Why can’t the Po Po in this ghetto town be so kind?  If it was a Bama player the police would at least ask for a “donation” from the Tide legal fund. rtr

All told Mitchell faces charges of improper display of tags, possession of a controlled substance, possession of drug paraphernalia and simultaneous possession of drugs and a firearm. Improper tags? I never make Mrs. Bammer wear her tags of course she ain’t had her shots either. rtr

Well if you want to burn some ganja while cleaning your Glock, while driving that old truck, Arkansas is the place to be. They don’t call it The Land of Opportunity for nothing. I’ll be looking into opening some “Jimmy Johns” stores there soon. rtr

I’m sure Petrino sure is glad he left the Michael Vick circus in Atlanta for….Arkansas. I wonder what the over/under is in the category of “Hogs arrested” such that Petrino will up and leave in October? And the WalMartians are paying how much per annum for this? Can he guarantee a lose to Louisiana Lafayette? I didn’t think so!  RTR!

So I Arkansas credit for making a late rush for the runner-up spot in the Fulmer Cup. Very impressive. Only a few days to go till the tabulating is over with. But it would take a mega effort to overtake the Tide. RTR Bitches!!!

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Arkansas Razorbacks, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Bobby Petrino, classless, Crime & Punishment, Crimson Tide, dumbass, Lord Saban, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Tide is High

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 25, 2008

Little Saint Nicky is having a bad off-season at Alabama.

In February Saban said:

“I’ve said enough is enough and we’re trying to fix it.”

Now with the arrests totaling ten Saban might be heard saying:

“Those dang Shula recruits ruining my regime. The Saban Regime shall have no other coke heads or players packing heat. Hey secretary, call Mal Moore and tell him to get Shula in here, I am going to kick his little gravy training ass back to his Pa. I’m going to Dick’s to buy some more straw hats. Mal you little weasel, I want another million to put up with this crap.”

The reason? Just a little coke dealer on the team that’s all. Ken Stabler might have a new roommate in rehab.

And they say it never snows in Alabama.

Jimmy Johns (not the sandwich franchise) a linebacker, was arrested Tuesday in Tuscaloosa and charged with five felony counts of distributing cocaine.

To add insult to injury a sixth charge of possession was also tacked on after police officers searched his off-campus residence and found cocaine and Ecstasy pills.

Saban knowing a super secret double probation punishment wouldn’t cut it this time, kicked JJ off the team.

“This type of behavior obviously will not be tolerated, and he is no longer a part of our program,” Saban said in a statement.

Capt. Jeff Snyder, who heads up the West Alabama Narcotics Task Force, said the Po Po received information about two months ago that Johns was involved in the selling of drugs.

“Once we were able to get our investigation in place, we were able to buy from him five different times over the last week and a half and were then able to obtain a search warrant for his residence,” Snyder said. “He was popular. A lot of people knew him.”

Records did not indicate whether Johns had hired a lawyer. He was held at the metro jail with bond set at $120,000.

I’m no Johnnie Cochran, especially since I am not dead or in hell, but it looks like Mr. Johns is in some major trouble. Certainly more trouble than normal players who had the various drinking charges a few months back. $120,000 bond, it’d take Saban a couple of hours to earn that kind of money with his contract.

Saban+Alabama+3 years=Sanctions.

You stay classy Bama! I’d be doing drugs to if I lost to Louisiana Monroe!

To bad this police officer wasn’t the one investigating the matter…maybe JJ would still be on the team.

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, cheaters, cocaine, Crime & Punishment, Crimson Tide, Louisiana Monroe, Nick Saban, Roll Tide, SEC Football | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments »

Just Fire The Guy Already!!!!!!!!

Posted by Joel Jackson on November 5, 2007

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So apparently Texas A&M is reportedly negotiating a buyout with head football coach Dennis Franchione. Yes, that Coach Fran, who left Alabama after 1 year for A&M, has done absolutely squat since arriving, and who was apparently selling inside information to 12 boosters for $1,200 a pop, even though his annual salary was $2.6 million. In the interest of full disclosure, the NCAA is looking into the situation as potential rules violations may have occurred.

Word around the Aggie Bonfire is that the language in Coach Fran’s contract may allow the school to outright let the “embattled” coach go without having to pay a penalty due to his website and possible violations of HIPPA. Let’s not forget that he has been a crappy coach.

So why in the hell would A&M not just fire him??? Why wait??? The Aggies still have to go to a VERY loaded Missouri team and then the annual Texas butt-kicking (I know, A&M won last year, and a broken clock is right twice a day). Let him go. He screwed himself out of a buyout with his website.

I know Texas A&M has some powerful boosters with deep pockets, but money talks. Also, if the rumor about going after Tommy Tuberville, you are gonna have to pay Auburn for the buyout in his contract ($6 million) plus whatever his annual salary will be. Plus, why string Coach Fran along??? Let him go so that he can find the next tiny D-1A school to coach, since hardly anyone would hire him as an offensive coach (quick: name 5 teams that still run the option. I will spot you Navy).

On a related note, for any other schools that may be looking at a coaching change (Nebraska, UCLA, Arkansas), go ahead and fire these coaches. Why string it along??? Plus, by letting these guys go early, it will give your school ample time to find the replacement. Do it, and LET THE COACH STEALING BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted in ACC Football, aggies, Alabama, Alabama Crimson Tide, Arkansas, Arkansas Razorbacks, Auburn, Bama Sucks, BCS, big 10, Big 12, Big East, big ten, big ten football, Big Twelve Football, Bill Callahan, cheaters, Coach Fran, College Football, Crime & Punishment, Crimson Tide, Dennis Franchione, HIPPA, Houston Nutt, Missouri Tigers, NCAA, Nebraska Cornhuskers, retarded, Scams, scandal, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, secrets, Texas A&M | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »