Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Posts Tagged ‘divorce court’

Jayson Williams doesn’t want you to forget him

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 28, 2009

You should remember Jayson Williams. Seven years ago the former New Jersey Nets player accidentally shot and killed his limo driver and then attempted to cover it up. Even though he never served time for the shooting he still faces a re-trial on manslaughter and obstruction of justice charges. But hey what’s another sevens years anyhow? So there’s no rush or anything. 

Williams was arrested yet again after destroying a hotel room and becoming violent and acting “suicidal.” My guess is he is upset over the Jets trading up to pick Mark Sanchez in the draft. I don’t think he’s going to get his TV job back if he keeps up this sort of behavior. 

A female “friend” (most likely a hooker) called New York’s finest were called to the hotel room shortly after 4:00 a.m. Once arriving to the room police discover that Williams to be agitated and “tipsy” and refused to leave the room. Officers then used “an electrical device” to subdue the perp (i.e., they tazed him, bro) and hauled him off St. Vincent’s Hospital for a psychological evaluation. 

Williams has 11 days to accept a plea deal involving the case where he shot his limo driver with a shotgun in his home and is facing a May 12 hearing in a divorce case filed by his estranged wife, Tanya. 

Williams’ lawyers also visited him at St. Vincent’s and one of them, Chris Adams, said afterward: 

“Jayson is at the hospital for a medical issue. He’s in stable condition, and we expect him to be released, with a full recovery. Any suggestion that he is there against will is false.” 

The limo driver’s sister, Andrea Adams, told The Post she doubted Williams tried to commit suicide. 

“It’s just another ploy to get sympathy from the public and postpone the retrial. They keep dragging it on and on and on. You have a wound and they just won’t let it heal.” 

“Somewhere, sometime, Jayson will have to answer for what he’s done,” she added. “Maybe not to me. Maybe not to a judge. But he’s not going to be able to buy his way into heaven.” 

I’d try to kill myself too if people were constantly confusing me with Rick Fox.

Posted in divorce court, Jayson Williams, NBA, New Jersey Nets, NYPD, Po Po, suicide attempt | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Hulk Hogan “understands” OJ Simpson…WTF?!?!?

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 16, 2009

hulkandlinda

Remember that ultra-gay song Hulk Hogan used as entrance music during his hay day? I believe the song was called “Real American Hero.” Well, apparently Hulk Hogan believes that OJ Simpson was a Hulk-a-Maniac at one point. OJ ate his vitamins, killed his spouse and another and then said his prayers. Which ironically worked since the murder remains “unsolved.” 

The New York Post is reporting that recently Hulk Hogan stated he “identifies” with OJ Simpson during a recent interview with Rolling Stone. Don’t ask me why that magazine feels the need to interview Hogan when there are limitless other candidates they could be talking to. 

“I could have turned everything into a crime scene, like OJ, cutting everybody’s throat,” he told the magazine. “You live half a mile from the 20,000-square-foot home you can’t go to anymore, you’re driving through downtown Clearwater and see a 19-year-old boy driving your Escalade, and you know that a 19-year-old boy is sleeping in your bed, with your wife . . . I totally understand OJ. I get it.”  

That 19-year-old boy happens to be the pool man (and you thought pornos made stuff up) who Hogan refers to as “some shaggy-haired pool boy 30 years her junior.” Hogan also say his soon to be ex, Linda, is spending around $40,000 a month. 

Now we have all said something in anger that we have later regretted but to reference OJ…I’m sure the judge overseeing his divorce proceedings will love hearing that one. 

I can emphasize with how Hogan feels…I mean his wife is a bitch but that doesn’t give him the right to cause physical violence against his wife or any other person for that matter. I honestly don’t think Hogan is THAT stupid. But if he was…whatcha’ going to do when the Hulkster attempts to stab you? “Brother!”

Posted in Anger Issues, divorce court, Hulk Hogan, OJ Simpson, WTF | Tagged: , , , , | 3 Comments »

Sounds like Dwyane Wade’s former business partner is a little green with envy to me

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 11, 2009

Smoking weed is awesome, baby!! With a capital A

As if it isn’t bad enough that Dwyane Wade’s wife claimed he has some kinda of super secret STD during their volatile divorce proceedings, a former business partner claims he saw Wade pull a Michael Phelps and also saw “remnants” of wild sex parties that occurs at an apartment that was used by Wade and his posse.

“The man isn’t what people worldwide think he is,” Von Houtman said Sunday in an extensive interview. “He and his friends are just a bunch of idiots. I mean, I’m in Chicago at a charity party in 2007, and weed is being passed around and Wade takes a hit. In front of everybody.

“I got sucked into doing business with him because he has a first-class media persona, the new Michael Jordan. He was that good guy, father-of-the-year, celebrity who had his head on his shoulder. I found out after a year he was not like that.”

This Von Houtman person claims met Wade in 2006 and went into business together to develop a franchises of restaurants named D. Wade’s Place. He claims he leased Wade a $1.7 million, two-story condo in what is known as the Spear Building which is on Miami Beach.  He states that Wade and his childhood friend Marcus Andrews was to use it as the  headquarters for their marketing company, Wade Global Enterprises. But, according to Van Houtman, it also became a headquarters for D. Wade’s Sin City…

Cue the Barry White music.

“They’d have these parties in there two or three times a week,” Von Houtman said. “There were always dozens of people in there. Rappers, Dwyane and his entourage, women they’d pick up in clubs. They (Wade and Andrews) both made it clear to me how their goal in life is to have sex with as many women as possible.”

Van Houtman then resumed checking in at his other properties, including the Poke, Pump, Stab and Heterosexual Vaginal Intercourse buildings.

Wade’s publicist says Van Houtman is apparently either watching to much porn and fantasying about Wade at the same time or is flat out lying.

In my opinion, if Wade and his friend claimed to have said that their goal in life was to have sex with every woman possible, then they’re just regular dudes. And with a tear in my eye I shout “USA! USA! USA!”

If a NBA star in his prime can’t smoke pot and have sex with unattainable women without some jackass tattling as soon as his divorce hearing comes up, then those “man law” commercials have meant nothing!

Posted in divorce court, Dwyane Wade, Miami Heat, NBA, porn | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Weeeeee let’s get ready for the NFL playoffs as the NFL coaching carousel begins

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 30, 2008

Before the NFL playoffs begin the coaching carousel must start to take shape and it has already begun.

So let’s review the coaches who are out so far.

The first on the list is Eric Mangini which is not a huge surprise. The Jets obtained the most delusional QB in Brett Favre and God knows Favre doesn’t throw interceptions at bad times in big games. *Sarcasm*

Is this where I can discuss Brett Favre's heroic effort through the greatest of injuries?

To makes matters worse according to Pro Football Talk, his role in Spygate could hinder his employability. Let’s also mention the fact he had man-boobs but was a good disciplinarian, but I swear to god you got out coached 4/5 weeks.

This is the worst thing to happen to him since King Of Queens got cancelled.

The second one on this list is Romeo Crennel. Now let’s not all act surprised here. Technically speaking Crennel was fired before the Jets’ Eric Mangini or the Lions’ Rod Marinelli who is next on this list.

Crennel’s firing came shortly after the Browns fired general manager Phil Savage.

I myself question his employability. He had five coaching job interviews in less than 36 hours in 2003. The teams that turned him down were the New York Giants, Buffalo Bills, Arizona Cardinals, Chicago Bears and Atlanta Falcons.

Charlie Weis and Romeo Crennel: The “Generation K” of Patriots coordinators.

Just to make Browns fans cringe in even more misery, according to AP, the Browns have asked Bill Cowher if he were interested in the job, but Cowher said no thanks.

The third on this list is the Lions’ Rod Marinelli which is the least surprising firing in the history of the NFL. That’s what 0-16 will do for you. So the Toyota “Saved by Zero” promotion does not apply here.

Nothing says ‘Happy Holidays’ like the bloodlust shown on the Monday after the football season. Three cheers for people getting axed!!

The Browns come a long way since being pre-season champs (4-0). On the bright side, they have two first-round draft picks, on the dark side; the Lions need a team enema.

Tim “The Toolman” Taylor thinks this team can’t even be fixed with the new Binford Suck3000.

So many new candidates for Al Davis to choose from!!!

Posted in Al Davis, Brett Favre, cleveland browns, Detroit Lions, divorce court, Eric Mangini, fired, New York Jets, NFL Football, Rod Marinelli, Romeo Crennel | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

This weeks mandatory Brett Fa*** post: Is the Fa*** circus coming to a close?

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 6, 2008

This whole soap opera started with an itch Fa*** had that tough acting Tinactin couldn’t cure. Things went from Fa*** wanting to be released, to Fa*** wants to stay with the pack (as early as last Sunday) to Fa*** now where Fa*** will likely be traded.

Here’s a detailed timeline to help you figure it out:

  • Jan. 20: Packers lose NFC Championship Game to the Giants in OT
  • March 6: Fa*** conducts retirement news conference and cries again
  • April 3: Denies rumors of a comeback
  • April 4: Agent reportedly contacts teams to gauge trade interest
  • April 9: Says he might consider comeback if opportunity was presented
  • June 20: Fa*** tells Coach Mike McCarthy he may want to play
  • July 2: Fa*** says reports of return were “all rumor” in other words he lied
  • July 6: Sends text message to Packers GM Ted Thompson
  • July 8: Fa*** asks for release with understanding he won’t be starter
  • July 11: Packers receive letter from Fa*** formally requesting release
  • July 16: Packers file tampering charges with NFL against Vikings
  • July 19: Returns to Lambeau Field to attend Packers Hall of Fame ceremony
  • July 25: Fa*** tells Packers he plans to report to training camp
  • July 29: Faxes reinstatement request to NFL
  • July 30: Meets with Packers president Mark Murphy in Mississippi
  • July 31: Fa*** offered millions to not report to camp
  • Aug. 3: NFL commissioner Roger Goodell reinstates Fa***
  • Aug. 4: Fa*** reports to training camp and is added to active roster after passing physical
  • Aug. 5: Left practice facility in the afternoon … did not practice with the team … met with Packers officials to discuss trade options … say “the best thing for this team is for us to part ways” … considers talking to the Buccaneers about a possible trade.

Fa*** has basically shown the world that one person can be bigger than the franchise. Even with the chance to win his starting job back, McCarthy claims Fa*** couldn’t seem to get past emotional wounds that were opened as tensions mounted in recent weeks.

This may sound cruel but IMHO Fa*** did it to himself.

“The football team’s moving forward,” McCarthy said. “The train has left the station, whatever analogy you want. He needs to jump on the train and let’s go. Or, if we can’t get past things that have happened, I have to keep the train moving.”

After reading that quote I can honestly see the coach breakout into his version of “Proud Mary.”

“They told him, ‘We’ll trade you, but not within the division,’ “Favre’s agent, James “Bus” Cook, told USA Today for Wednesday’s editions. “His first desire was to play here. Their first desire was for him not to play here.”

McCarthy is keeping quiet about the trade talks, but did say a quick resolution to the situation is important to the rest of his players.

“Absolutely,” McCarthy said. “The players, they want it resolved. Even talk to Brett about it — he feels bad about it. It’s time for them to talk about somebody else.”

“We’re at a stalemate,” Favre told ESPN’s Chris Mortensen. “Mike and I both agreed last night that me being out there is a distraction and will continue to be a distraction. We all know the reason I’m here is because the commissioner reinstated me, so we have a lot of things to figure out. It’s simple and complicated, both at the same time.”

When this mess does end one thing is certain, Thompson and McCarthy, will be known as, the guys who ran Fa*** out of Town.

He’s going to retire, he’s not going to retire, he wants to take the buy out, he doesn’t want to take the buyout, he wants to play for the Packers, he doesn’t want to play for the Packers, he doesn’t want to play for Tampa, he wants to play for Tampa….does this guy even know what he wants. I’m so sick of this being on every sports channel 24/7 that I could puke. The guy is acting like a spoiled kid. “I’m going to take my ball and go home”. I’ll admit he is a great player but I honestly do not blame the Packers for being tired of his antics. As football fans I believe we all are.

Posted in Brett Favre, divorce court, Goodell, Green Bay Packers, NFL, NFL Football | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Rich Rodriguez Wanted the Hell Out of There

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 25, 2008

The never ending saga of Rich “Dirty Sanchez” Rodriguez verses WVU has taken yet another twist.

According to documents obtained by West Virginia University’s attorneys, the anti-hero coach contacted Michigan before school officials approached him in December.

Buy eggnog

Buy stripper like spouse more Lee Press on Nails

Contact Michigan in hopes of landing job so I can escape this hell

A representative of Rodriguez’s contacted Michigan on Dec. 11, WVU attorney Jeffrey Wakefield said on Wednesday. The contact occurred three days before Rodriguez met with U-M president Mary Sue Coleman and athletic director Bill Martin in Toledo to interview for the position.

Michigan athletic director Bill Martin declined to comment through a U-M spokesman.

Depositions are continuing in the case, Wakefield confirmed. West Virginia athletic director Ed Pastilong was deposed last Friday and Rodriguez was deposed on Monday. Though no further depositions have been scheduled, Wakefield said they would like to speak with Rodriguez’s wife, Rita.

Wakefield must want a lap dance “for old times sake”.

Click to view some serious Lee Press on Nails

Posted in big ten football, Coach Rich Rodriguez, Conspiracy Theory, Dirty Sanchez, divorce court, Michigan Wolverines, West Virginia Mountaineers, WVU | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Ben Moffitt Wins Father of the Year From the American Douche Bag Association

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 4, 2008

Remember that annoying cuddly story of how Ben Moffitt a standout linebacker for USF’s football team, drives 55 miles daily to be with his family? Turns out that the marriage is falling apart and since November 11 he hasn’t been around much for his wife or kids. But it’s what she said that might be harmful to the entire USF program.

He is living a lie,” she said. “He’s lying to everyone. He’s not helping (us) with anything.” Their marriage of five years has deteriorated to the point that Shauna, 26, made public Thursday a larger allegation, saying that she had taken multiple online courses for her husband and written papers for his college classes to keep him eligible to play football.

“I have written every single paper he has ever written in five years at USF,” said Shauna, who works as a data specialist in the Sumter County Appraiser’s Office.

Can we say NCAA violations? If these turn out to be true USF could face major penalties. Of course USF officials had not responded to questions.

Moffitt has already retained divorce lawyer A.J. Rohe crushing any hopes of the public viewing this spectacle on the TV show “Divorce Court”.

“It’s our position that it’s harmful to the children when this personal stuff is aired in the papers,” said Rohe, who was retained by Moffitt on Thursday. “We’re disappointed that she would choose to do something in an attempt to damage his reputation and his potential for future earnings.”

If what she says is true any investigation that will be conducted by the NCAA should be breeze.

USF has marketed Moffitt, 23, as a family man, touting him for national awards with the phrase “Linebacker. Leader. Husband. Father.” Now he might be marked as “Linebacker. Loser. Divorcee. Bad Father.”

After their initial separation, Shauna said Ben visited their two children twice a week, but that stopped after a month. She said she does not know where he is living, and he has changed his cellphone, initially only calling from a blocked number before later giving her the number.

So much for happily ever after…

This I proclaim on 1/4/08.

TtT

Posted in Big East, divorce court, University of South Florida, USF | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »