Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Posts Tagged ‘Douche Bag’

UCLA QB faces the facts

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 11, 2009

Fact: Chris Forcier, a redshirt sophomore QB is transferring from UCLA to play for Furman University. 

Fact: His family came up with one of the most bizarre and batshit crazy press releases ever to announce this decision. 

Fact: The Forcier family web site is poorly done. 

Fact: A copy of the press release can be found on the shitty website. 

Here is the press release

Fact: I was a National Recruit out of High School including multiple Pac-10 offers. 

Fact: I was a scout.com (4) Star QB labeled as a dual-threat. I learned a complicated offense that calls for a pocket passing QB. 

Fact: I’m a life long UCLA Fan. I love UCLA Football. Most Bruin fans have been very supportive/good people. 

Fact: I’ve always worked hard in the classroom as a student athlete where I’ve been recognized as a UCLA Honor Roll student. 

Fact: I’ve competed hard in games and on the practice field, in film and meetings where I’ve always come prepared, attentive, always taking notes. Read the rest of this entry »

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Posted in Dork, Douche Bag, Furman University, Pac 10 football, Rick Neuheisel, UCLA | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

In case you didn’t know…

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 20, 2009

Michael Vick snuck out of prison this morning to avoid the onslaught of media that was awaiting for him. However YMSWWC’s super photographer did manage to snap this shot.

FreeVick

Posted in Crime & Punishment, dog fighting, Douche Bag, Michael Vick, ookie | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Some rather sad & disturbing news to report

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 11, 2009

Further proof that only douche bags wear shirts with screen printed script on them.

I have some rather disturbing and sad news to report about the dad who hosted an underage party that was complete with cheerleaders and a stripper pole in the basement.

Last Saturday, Steven Russo, went from ignorant dad of the year to douche bag dad of year. As if his earlier actions didn’t concern people about his mental state his decided to implore a greater cry for help by closing his garage off and leaving the car running.

Even more disturbing is the fact he had his four-year old son with him at the time. This of course angers me to no degree. If this country has one true treasure that we need to protect it is its children. Fortunately he was discovered by the four-year olds’ grandfather so he’s okay.

I suppose being labeled as a sick freak was to much pressure for Russo to bare so he chose to attempt to end it all. Why in the world he would make his younger son bare the brunt of his mistake is incomprehensible to me. To confuse matters even worse than they are he sent a text message to the mother of the four-year old blaming her for his idiotic choices.

“Quoted in her statement to police, Jessica Clapso said Russo text-messaged her, saying, “This is on you and good-bye.”

Sending that text message meant he would be caught. He’s a coward who should get his wish- his 4-year-old needs to be safe with the mom, and then he (the father) needs to be lined up against a wall and shot.

I really hope one of the other dads beats the fuck out of this guy. You want to kill yourself, fucking fine. But do not take your kid down with you.

Posted in Cheerleaders, Crime & Punishment, Douche Bag, dumbass, Stripper Pole, stupid, suicide attempt | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Nothing says father and son bonding like getting drunk and letting the kid drive

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 17, 2009

I was going get on my soapbox about the poor parenting skills of Phoenix Suns’ guard Jason Richard and his desire to go slightly over the speed limit while his 3-year-old son was not properly buckled in. After all he was clocked for going 90 in a 35 MPH zone but I changed my mind. 

I have a better story to tell involving poor parenting skills instead. Take two soccer coaches, an eight-year-old, a van and a bottle of whiskey shake and stir and you have Disney’s newest straight to DVD release. 

Mark A. Belanger, 34, of Sarasota, was arrested on February 8th for allowing his son to drive the family van which almost hit two Toronto FC coaches who were walking nearby.

“Belanger told police he was “feeling woozy and didn’t want to drive.” He also told them he let his child drive “because he wanted to have a bonding moment with his son.” The two pedestrians nearly hit by the child driver are coaches with a Major League Soccer club team, Toronto FC. The team has been in the area for about a week in a training camp.

Witnesses said the boy crashed the van into a tree, shattering the driver’s side rear window, after the two coaches got out of the way. The boy then crashed a second time into a tree, damaging the car’s radiator, the police report said.

When police arrived, Belanger fell to the ground after he dropped his wallet. When he fell, he slammed his face on the pavement, leaving a gash on the bridge of his nose. The boy told police his father took “liquid medicine in order to feel better.” He pointed to an empty bottle of Canadian whiskey in the vehicle.”

Not fair! My mother would not allow me to drive when she got sauced until I was eleven-years-old. Man kids have got made these days. This officially makes the 8 year old the best driver in Florida. Also Belanger should’ve taken his kid to a whorehouse. That’s how you bond with your son.

This is the problem with today’s children. They grew up on Grand Theft Auto, so he crashed into a tree. I grew up on Mario Kart; I would have shot the tree with a red shell and kept it moving.

Posted in Douche Bag, drunk, DUI, Florida, Soccer | Tagged: , , , , | 2 Comments »

More crappy Christmas Gifts

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 4, 2008

Yes this season looks bleak especially if you’re a sports fan. If you’re like me and is forced…FORCED damn it…to participate in the office “Secret Santa” then get them a crap-tastic sports gift.

What says “You’re a gold digging whore” to that slutty office person who is constantly raving on about how drinks she scored for free over the weekend by offering over hyped cleavage and a lack of substance better than an ESPN Monopoly game?

Is Erin Andrews on the community chest cards?

This ties into the biggest thing that bothers me about ESPN – they in large part dictate the sports narratives of the day. Public opinion regarding an issue, player, or team can literally be shaped by ESPN now. So when the BCS goes to ESPN, not only will ESPN’s tune change on the issue of a college football playoff, but you can bet that public opinion will as well.

Know anyone that ever wanted to smell like JoePa’s adult diapers? Then here’s your chance to make them happy while grossing out their cubical neighbors.

Masik is a company that “specializes” in collegiate fragrances.

They offer colognes in the following schools:

  • UNC: When Just Looking Like Stu Scott Ain’t Enough, Bro. WARNING: do not spray directly in eyes.
  • Penn State: Musk, passion, wrinkles…Joe Paterno Moth Balls fragrance

And coming soon!

  • Florida: When being a douche-bag isn’t enough and you can smell like one.
  • Georgia: Boone’s Farm and urinal cakes with subtle notes of denial.
  • Alabama: mixture of baby back ribs, dead Behr and bacon is tantalizing to the ladies.
  • Tennessee: concoction of whiskey in a jar and Lane Kiffin
  • Auburn: heady combination of sinsemilla and ass.
  • LSU: A subtle blend of coonass and corndogs.

To bad they don’t make one for Oregon St Beavers the women’s version could embody the true essence…

Of course if you have an asshole boss like me get them a Redsox coffin. The special edition Ted Williams model comes with built-in air conditioning.

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Auburn, Bear is Dead, Boston Red Sox, Douche Bag, ESPN, Evil Empire, Florida Gators, Georgia Bulldogs, Joe Pa, Joe Paterno, LSU Tigers, North Carolina Tarheels, Penn State Nittany Lions, Tennessee Volunteers | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

You know that Mindy McCready chick is really turning into a media whore

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 19, 2008

The never ending story of Mindy “I’m now a media whore” McCready & Roger “I’m a jacked up steroid using, wife cheating bastard” Clemens is now taken yet another strange turn.

Media Whore Mindy told Inside Edition that contrary to other published reports she didn’t meet Clemens when she was fifteen instead she was sixteen and relations didn’t occur until “years later”.

So he wasn’t a pedophile, just a philandering douche. I guess that moves him up to a significantly less horrific circle of hell.

“Carrying on a relationship with him is not something I’m proud of,” she said, according to a partial transcript released by the show. “Roger Clemens is one of the most wonderful men I’ve ever known. … He treated me like a princess.”

“We never had a meeting in secret. We went on vacations together. We went to Palm Springs. We went to Las Vegas, New York City,” McCready told Inside Edition. “I wanted him to do right by me … and when he wouldn’t, I broke it off.”

McCready also apologizes to Clemens’ wife, Debbie, and says that at one point she wanted to end it all. “I have nothing but remorse and nothing but sympathy for what [Debbie] had to go through with this situation, and she has my utmost apology,” she told Inside Edition.

Now many of you might remember me reporting on a documentary that was being filmed about McSlutty, well with the timing of this interview, it might be a safe guess that it’s about to be released.

I’m guessing that both will be on Surreal Life here in a few years.

Posted in cheaters, classless, Douche Bag, Mindy McCready, Roger Clemens, secrets, steroids | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

A Peek Inside of Billy Clyde’s World

Posted by Joel Jackson on November 17, 2008

Inside the Kentucky Wildcat Locker Room After Friday’s Loss To VMI

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Wow!!! You fucktards really did it now. I cannot believe it. You are not about to embarrass me again. Wait, too late. You guys are really a group of fine individuals. 2 years in a row. I go to Sew Fine Tailors on Euclid Avenue & tell them to hook me up with the finest suit they have, so ol’ Billy Clyde can look sharp as a tack on opening night, and this is how you sissy merries repay me??? Jeremy, bring me my special Gardner-Webb flask…

flask-gascan

(Billy Clyde takes a swig)

You 22 mother fuckers are making me the fucking laughingstock of college basketball. You hear that??? That is ol’ Billy Donovon laughing his ass off. He turned down this job because their wasn’t enough hair gel in this barren wasteland of a state to last a year. He’s got his own personal Soul Glo guy just to style his hair. But not ol’ Billy Clyde. I don’t need gallons of Royal Crown Pomade in my contract. All I need is some of that Kentucky bourbon and some hot poon. Glynn, show these boys the action I got lined up after I leave here. Where’s that fancy iPhone??? Pass it around the locker room and show these sorry ass losers what they almost ruined for Billy Clyde.

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This here is Becky. She is a Miller Lite girl. Now I don’t waste time on beer because it gets in the way. Now you boys might think ol’ Billy Clyde would be in hog heaven, with a hot piece of tail & massive quantities of beer. But that is why you boys are losers. You don’t think. See, ol’ Billy Clyde is warming up.

(Takes 3 more huge swigs out of G-W gas can flask)

Billy Clyde wants it all. That white suit wearing asshole in Louisville is laughing his ass off at ol’ Billy Clyde. I want it all. That piss ant is getting all the glory in this state. I want one of those fancy banners in the rooftops too, so I can use it as a blanket when I am bedding trim in my off time. Tracy, I need 3 tonight.

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Damn Tracy, times must be hard. The economy is in the tank but I get a 4, 7, and 5??? I thought this was Lexington, not Morgantown??? What about the douchebag guys in the background??? Oh well. Bring them too. First time for everything, like you dipshits losing to a 6 win team. See boys, this is how ol’ Billy Clyde is rolling tonight, since you just ruined my season. Thanks. Career high my ass. There’s a reason I left College Station. That cow town had 3 hot chicks, and all of them were horrible in bed. If you are ever driving through Texas & wanna find College Station, let ol’ Billy Clyde tell you how to find it. You will know you are getting close when you start seeing the sheep back ass up to the fences.

Well, you sorry sacks of shit are excused. I will deal with you tomorrow after I give this poon some of Big Billy Clyde. Towelboy, I am taking some towels home. Gonna need that flask too.

Posted in A&E's Intervention, Adolph Rupp, Billy Clyde, Billy Donovan, Billy Gillispie, College Basketball, Condoms, Dead Drunk, Douche Bag, drunk, DUI, gardner webb, Kentucky Wildcats, NCAA, SEC, SEC Coaches, Sports, Texas A&M, whiners | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Karma is a bitch for Stephen Garcia

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 13, 2008

Stephen Garcia you were reinstated two weeks early & for what? To sit on your ass? Sure you look better since you’ve gotten a haircut unfortunately you’re also sitting and not practicing.

Garcia is injured after spraining his right ankle “sometime Saturday,” as Steve God Spurrier put it.

“I may let him tell you. I don’t know. He said he did it in the scrimmage (Saturday). But he was OK ‘til he woke up Sunday morning,” USC coach Steve Spurrier said. “He thought he got hurt in the scrimmage somewhere. But anyway, he’s limping around.”

“He said he twisted it Saturday,” Spurrier added. “That’s his story and he’s sticking to it.”

That sounds like an implication meaning that Garcia injured the ankle doing something other than playing football.

Maybe he slipped and fell while out drinking in Five Points.

Garcia, who is said to be on third different zero-tolerance policy, better known as Zero Tolerance 3.0 the Garcia Edition, after following three arrests and at least one other university wrist-slap disciplinary incident will not be able to tell reporters what happened, because he returned to the team Aug. 1 after a four-month suspension, he released a statement saying he would not talk to the media until he played in a real game.

Spending a week or more sitting on his ass while on the sidelines is not the best course of action for someone who’s missed all but a couple of practices each of the past two springs.

Posted in Crime & Punishment, Discipline, Douche Bag, drunk, Gamecocks, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Stephen Garcia, Steve Spurrier, USC | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »