Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Posts Tagged ‘Fail’

Vaya Con Dios, Billy Clyde

Posted by Joel Jackson on March 30, 2009

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Last year, I wrote a piece on Kentucky basketball and their lack of NBA lottery picks the past few years. Anytime we have posted about Kentucky basketball, it is highly read by some Wildcat fans. This post was different though. This one was picked up by a Wildcat blog, and by the time I got off of work, there were 96 comments that were left on the posting. 110 total comments would be posted. Thomas and the Moderator were amazed and pissed at the same time, and frustration over sensitive Wildcat fans invading the place set in. Some of the favorite comments were:

Wow! I love me some jealous, unclassy, can’t look at your own coach’s immoral personal life, still looking for that elusive elite eight, Tennessee Volunteers! Whoa!!!! The round of 16! Everyone come to UT: Where we guarantee mediocrity!-Kyle

I don’t discount your point about the name of the arena being racist. But the rest of your “point” is off to say the least! You are talking about UK not having any players drafted in the lottery, but UT hasn’t even had any players drafted in Pearl’s time. By the way Hopson didn’t leave UK’s program.

Jealousy will not get you anywhere when it comes to recruiting. So now recruiting an 8th grader gets you compared to R.Kelley sexual assault? You should be ashamed of yourself for such a statement. Than again I shouldn’t be surprised, I’ve read your “writing” before!-Jack

1st Round NCAA Tourney exit = Back-to-back bowl bids to ritzy Shreveport.-3rd Down H Back

UK built SEC basketball the same way Alabama built SEC football.

So in response to all of the commentators, I wrote this piece in response to all of the comments. Didn’t really matter though, Wildcat fans were pissed, and even a Pulitzer prize winning journalist (I think) by the name of John Clay of the prestigious (wait, let me get this right) Lexington Herald-Ledger chimed in. Side note: I am still waiting on a response from this Peabody award winning journalist to the e-mail that I sent him.

To all of you Wildcat fans who said that Kentucky was back and happy days were here again, let me just say…

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, good luck in trying to get the sexy name coach. Donovan and Wright have already turned you down. Calipari has a LOADED recruiting class coming in and has FedEx and International Paper money paying his high salary. Anthony Grant, a really good coach, was already snatched up by Alabama. The fact remains that Kentucky, for all of its glitzy facilities and rabid fanbase, will have to really overpay for its next head coach, which means you might have a shot at Cal, but doubtful. Seriously, who would want to coach with reporters like this???


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Posted in Billy Clyde, Billy Donovan, Billy Gillispie, College Basketball, Fail, Kentucky Wildcats, SEC, SEC Basketball, SEC Coaches, Sports | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

All of a sudden Favre isn’t so damn popular now is he?

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 2, 2009

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Before this NFL season started I quite blatantly stated that the Packers were tired of Brett Favre’s antics and I believe that football fans in general were tired of them as well.

Don’t get me wrong Brett is an all-time great however he needs to just freaking retire and stay retired. Even has his off season has begun the aftermath of Favre’s year with the Jets is being felt now.

“Sources close to Cowher said he did not want to have Favre as his quarterback.” [NY Post]

That’s okay, Farve didn’t want anybody to coach him anyway.

Team owner Woody Johnson has stated clearly that he wants Brett Favre to be the New York Jets’ quarterback next season however it’s not a good decision to let your love of an over-the-hill, interception-prone QB get in the way of hiring a competent football coach.

Apparently Cowher isn’t the only person that doesn’t want to get hooked up with free Wrangler jeans for life. Thomas Jones ripped Favre’s final-game performance and seemed to suggest the QB’s play — nine interceptions and only two touchdown passes in the final five games — called for his benching.

“We’re a team and we win together … but at the same time, you can’t turn the ball over and expect to win,” Jones said in an interview Tuesday with New York Hot 97 FM. Favre threw three interceptions in the Jets’ season-ending 24-17 loss to Miami that clinched the AFC East for the Dolphins.

“The other day, the three interceptions really hurt us. I mean, that’s just reality,” Jones told the radio station. “If I were to sit here and say, ‘Oh, man, it’s OK,’ that’s not reality. … I don’t like it, I know everybody else on the team doesn’t like it.

“If somebody is not playing well, they need to come out of the game,” Jones told Hot 97 FM. “You’re jeopardizing the whole team because you’re having a bad day. To me, that’s not fair to everybody else. You’re not the only one on the team. So when you get to the wire and somebody is just giving the game up, I mean, it’s just not [fair].”

Thank you Thomas Jones for saying what we all are thinking.

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Jets safety Kerry Rhodes chirped in as well.

“If he’s dedicated and he wants to come back and do this, and do it the right way … and be here when we’re here in training camp and the minicamps and working out with us … then I’m fine with it,” Rhodes said. “But don’t come back if it’s going to be half-hearted or he doesn’t want to put the time in with us.”

A veteran Jets player, quoted anonymously by Newsday, described Favre as a “distant” teammate who, when at the Jets’ practice facility, spent his down time away from teammates in an office specially designated for him.

“There was a lot of resentment in the room about him. He never socialized with us, never went to dinner with anyone,” the player told Newsday.

At one time I’m sure some of his teammates were green with envy but now his teammates appear to be green with a malevolent sickness.

This is why the Packers were better off without him. Yes, they had a bad season, but they weren’t going to have a great season anyway. Favre was just a pain in the butt. A guy who he believes is bigger than the game. He peaked in 1996. He’s been a disaster the past 8 seasons. He needs to go. And congrats to the lame NFL players that voted him as a Pro Bowler over Big Ben and Matt Cassel. They should all be ashamed. (And I hate the Patriots!)

Brett please walk away while you still have some pride.

Posted in Brett Favre, Fail, New York Jets, NFL Football | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

Yes we scored now let me smack my bitch up

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 29, 2008

I have dubbed yesterdays match up between Dallas and Philadelphia as “The Best Comedy of the Season” for many reasons. If you watched the game then I’m sure you can see why.

Yeppers that video is Eagles owner Jeff Lurie smacking his wife, Christina, right between the eyes in an attempt to perform the dreaded high five. I believe this was after the 3rd touchdown scored. After the fourth touchdown he took a baseball bat to her kneecaps.

It is rather fun watching billionaires attempt to perform average Joe activities such as hand-slapping.

Posted in Dallas Cowboys, Fail, NFL Football, Philadelphia Eagles | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

Broken Plays: Don’t expect too much from us this week

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 22, 2008

With this being the week of Christmas it’s just a fair warning of not to expect too much from us this week.

Joel has a family which comes first and I have to drink a lot of bourbon and play Santa and the mall. (I’m just kidding about the Santa part) HO HO Hell!

Another South Carolina coach says “Screw you guys I’m going to Tennessee!” South Carolina strength coach Mark Smith has accepted an offer to join new Tennessee coach Lane Kiffin’s staff in the same capacity. Smith is considered one the best in the business and here is a collection of before and after pictures of Smith’s work.

Eric Berry can potentially kill someone now; it’s scary to imagine that boy any bigger.

It’s King Kiffin’s Kourt and don’t you forget it! King Kiffin attended the Tennessee basketball game this past Saturday and was asked about upsetting God Spurrier and loser interim Raiders coach Tom Cable with the recent coaching hires.

“I don’t really care,” Kiffin said Saturday. “I got a job to do in our athletic department and that’s to put together the best staff we can put together and the best players we can put together. I’m not really concerned about that stuff.

“If Steve’s concerned about my test, I got 39 out of 40,” Kiffin said, responding to comments made by South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier about whether Kiffin had passed the required NCAA recruiting test before contacting prospects. “I’d like to see what he got.”

Boom….headshot….I love it.

The photo above validates my desire to become a NFL referee. Garth DiFelice lays to wood on Saint Louis Rams Kenneth Darby with Tyson like precision. Who knew DiFelice vs. Darby would have more clean shots than Holyfield vs. Valuev?

Also Oakland showed that they have some life left in them. Not that I care but I wanted to use this picture.

Pacman makes it rain without showing remorse. This chick made it snow and is a crying mess, however she can sweep up the floor. She apparently set off the fire alarm during finals week at Okalahoma but I think she crying over the fear of Bob Stoops losing yet another BCS bowl game.

Don’t forget your dignity while you’re sweeping there, honey. I think I saw it over there by the dust bunnies.

Posted in big ten football, Fail, Fights, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, King Kiffin, Lane Kiffin, Oakland Raiders, Oklahoma sooners, SEC Coaches, Steve Spurrier | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Welcome to the FAIL room bitches!

Posted by Billy Bob Bammer on December 16, 2008

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That’s right! I is back! I’ve been silent this whole season while Saint Saban the Behr reincarnated racks up victory after victory. The reason for my silence is mainly because I’ve been doing a stretch in the state pen or as my fellow Bama boosters like to say: scouting for new football recruits. RTR!

First let’s talk about my bestest friend in the world Mr. James Fail, a fellow Bama booster. After all the millions of hard earned dollars that was earned through moonshine and cock-fighting that Mr. Fail has given to the BUSDGP (Buy us some damn good players) fund, Bama has officially named the visitors locker room “The Fail Room.” RTR! I also call my bedroom the fail room but for other reasons.

Strangely enough, another donor’s donation resulted in the renaming of Saban’s office. The Donor’s name is James J. HolyShitThat’sALotOfMoneyI’llTakeTheJob… Jr.

Hopefully someday I’ll get that outhouse in the west end zone named after me. Also this is coming just after Mississippi State renamed its stadium “LOL Field.”

Now on to the evil plan Auburn has that concerns assassinating Saint Saban.  Everyone knows this plan won’t work…but it almost did. Reports are flooding in that Saban’s ribs are sore from laughing at the fact that Gene Chizik has hired as the Auburn coach. RTR!

Nice try Auburn but it didn’t work.

Speaking of Auburn I see the services of former offensive line coach Hugh Nail are not wanted in college football. Hugh has taken a job with a trucking company. RTR good buddy! I’ll stop by later today and exchange some crystal meth for a hooker.

Congrats to Urban Meyer’s daughter, Nicki on receiving a scholarship from Ga. Tech. Here’s a piece from the Rivals write-up:

“Always being the new kid, Nicki often was asked to switch positions to fill whatever holes were left open.”

Well…alrighty then…

RTR Bitches!

Posted in Auburn, Bama Bangs, Bammers, Fail, Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, Nick Saban, SEC, SEC Football, Urban Meyer | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

The Big Orange Roundtable Volume XI Florida Looms Ahead

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 15, 2008

It’s that time again folks. It’s time for the Big Orange Roundtable and guess what…I’m king for the week again. First thing first…let’s all welcome the newest member of the round table Curveballs for Jesus. I should have welcomed last week but I failed to much like Travis Henry fails to use condoms. I know, I know I’m a bad king.

In order to keep things simple, I’m only asking one question. That hallowed questions is:

How would you grade the VOLS performance this past weekend?

Now members of the Big Orange Roundtable are free thinkers so they don’t have to use the format that I used.

I’ve got my red marker handy it’s time to go to the roundtable  Before we go any further it should be noted that Tennessee actually won the game.

Quarterbacks: F+

Let’s be honest here the Mountain Messiah sucks. Crompton went 19 of 31, 240 yards, two TDs, two INTs. However UAB’s defense has been giving up over 350 passing yards and zero…that’s right zero interceptions against Tulane and Florida Atlantic. The reason they get an F+ is because Nick Stephens showed zip and scrambling ability in limited time.

Running Backs: A

Lennon Creer looked absolutely awesome & Foster did as well. Foster also showed he can protect the ball.    Montario Hardesty owned the defense when he was in there. Great job guys.

Receivers: C

Luke Stocker one of the tight ends sucks worse than Crompton. The boy had 3 dropped passes. However the play of Lucas Taylor and Gerald Jones saved this group from getting a D+.

The O-Line: D

Still sucks ass. Three senseless penalties are way too much for a group to be this experienced.

The D-Line: C

They kept the UAB QB in check most of the day.

Linebacker Core: C-

The missed tackle bug has struck us once again. However Walker had a forced fumble and McKenzie broke up a pass and pressured the QB.

Secondary: A

Eric Berry is a monster. He had seven tackles and an interception and Willingham had four tackles and an interception as well.

Special Teams: C-

Decent kick and punt coverage however the return teams sucked and they didn’t “flip the field” like the Tennessee teams of old could do.

Coaching: F+

Poor clock management, not that much of an improvement in the QB play. Missed tackling reared its ugly head again. They get a plus on the basis that Fulmer actually showed some fire and emotion on the sidelines. However going for it on fourth down instead of attempting to kick a field goal was a poor choice and it also speaks volumes for our kicking game.

Overall: D-

We had the talent to score at least 50 on this sub-par Conference USA team but didn’t get it done. Crompton didn’t show any improvement and in fact it appears we abandoned the passing game. UAB’s defense is ranked 117 out of 118 and all we mustered was 35 points. With Florida looming ahead next week, this appears it’s going to be a lllllooonnngggg season ahead.

Be sure to check the sites of all the Big Orange Roundtable members to see their responses.

Posted in Big Orange, Fail, fulmer sucks, Go Vols, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, The Big Orange Roundtable | Tagged: , , , , , , | 2 Comments »