Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Posts Tagged ‘final four’

A Week Later & I Am Still Upset

Posted by Joel Jackson on April 15, 2008

First off, let me start off by saying congratulations to Kansas for willing the NCAA Men’s Basketball Championship. Their team deserves all the credit because they won.

Let me also congratulate the Memphis Tigers for an amazing season. So close but yet and still so far away.

As the second half began, a funny feeling came over me. Simultaneously, mucus started running out of my nose, and I was cold. I was watching the rest of the game in a blanket and my MacBook burning my lap. So as the game started slipping away, I started getting sicker and sicker. Coincidence, or maybe God once again telling this native Memphian that, once again, this is not your time.

As the next couple of days progressed, I got sicker and sicker, spending more time in bed than a hooker in Amsterdam. Of all the weeks to get flu, and it is in the 80’s outside.

During this time, I watched the second half of the game. There was a common theme each time that I watched. There was one person that stood out as the reason that the Tigers lost the game. Looking back at the season, the Tennessee loss and the near loss to UAB in Birmingham was the fault of one man:

Earlier, when I wrote the college basketball preview, I referenced the lack of John Calipari’s in-game coaching abilities. He can recruit like nobody else. He can spot talent. But sometimes I wonder if he thinks X’s and O’s are part of his favorite childhood game, Tic Tac Toe. The Tigers basically run 3 plays on offense and play a pressing man to man. Billy Packer, the most arrogant mic guy this side of Joe Buck, correctly said that the Tigers should have been running more zone during the championship game. In the semifinal game against UCLA, Pierre Niles should have been bumping uglies against Kevin Love, saving Joey Dorsey for foul trouble (even though Kevin Love choked harder than the Tigers). And for God’s sake, Mario Chalmers SHOULD HAVE BEEN FOULED!!!

Oh, but the Great Calipari said after the game that he told the team to foul before the ball gets to mid-court. I call BS on that one. He is a coach who screams at his players what he wants them to do, and if they don’t, he sits them. The team knows this, and IF he told them to foul, they didn’t listen.

The point being is that the Tigers lost two games because Calipari got outcoached, which happens a lot if you look at his career. Talent alone won the Tigers 30+ games. If there were a better coach on the sidelines, the title would be sitting on Beale St instead of some scarecrow infested wheat field in Kansas, not that I am bitter or anything…

Posted in NCAA, Sports | Tagged: , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Texas Shorthorns

Posted by Joel Jackson on March 30, 2008


The stars at night-are small and light

Deep in the heart of Texas.

Longhorn shots-are high and wide

Deep in the heart of Texas.

D Rose in bloom-is like perfume

Deep in the heart of Texas.

Reminds me of-the Tiger Blue

Deep in the heart of Texas.

The cowboys cry-oh why oh why

Deep in the heart of Texas.

Shawn Taggart rush-and Dorsey must

Deep in the heart of Texas.

Augustin wails-along the trail

Deep in the heart of Texas.

The Longhorns bawl-and bawl and bawl

Deep in the heart of Texas.

Posted in aggies, Ass Whipping, basketball, Big 12, bongs, boo birds, boosters, College Basketball, Conference USA, drugs, dumbass, Memphis Tigers, NCAA, Texas Longhorns | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

Let’s Go Belmont!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Joel Jackson on March 18, 2008

It’s NCAA tournament time. The time of year where 65 teams have hopes of winning a title. People call in sick for work, office copiers run off brackets constantly (someone keep and eye on Rick Neuheisel) for office pools, and ESPN has their college basketball talking heads in overtime. Yet, just as it has been for as long as I can remember, I analyze the brackets for one singular reason: To cheer on whatever college is playing Duke. This year, we start with Belmont

In my time in Nashville, I ran across a lot of students and alums of Belmont University. They are very nice people, and they represent their school (founded on Christian principles) to the fullest. Minnie Pearl and Rachel Smith (Miss USA 2007) are two of their most famous alums. Athletically, the school is part of the Atlantic Sun Conference and is going to their 3rd consecutive NCAA tournament.

However, this is not so much a post rooting for the Belmont Bruins, although I am now officially on the Bruin bandwagon. There are a few sports teams that I cannot stand, and Duke is one of them. I hate the love fest that Dick Vitale and Mike Patrick have whenever they broadcast a Duke basketball game. The school turns McDonald’s All-Americans into NBA busts (Jason Williams, Mike Dunleavy, Jr, Bobby Hurley, Mike Gminski). The “Cameron Crazies” with their supposedly above average intelligence and their trust funds jump around like someone put Icy Hot in their Calvin Kleins. Their point guards are so gritty and tough slapping the half court at home to fire up the crowd. Coach KKK (affectionetly called this by the Nation of Islam Sportsblog) slowly morphs more into the Duke logo that he defends. You would have thought when UConn, led by Richard Hamilton, won the NCAA title in Tampa that I was a Husky fan.

Duke is officially on watch. I wanna see Greg Paulus (maybe the worst starting point guard in the NCAA today) get teabagged like Deron Washington from Va. Tech did here in the pic…


Go Bruins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, here’s Rachel Smith’s headshot…

Posted in ACC, Coach K, Dick Vitale, draft pick, Duke, Duke Blue Devils, dumbass, ESPN, Evil Empire, legal troubles, Mascots, mentally challenged, NCAA, Virginia Tech | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »