Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Posts Tagged ‘Fines’

Barkley to pitch a tent for Sheriff Joe Arpaio

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 25, 2009

If he continues to cover himself in vaseline, that should go over real well in the joint...


You know lately I haven’t written much of squat, I’ll admit that. Due to work and other factors I’m an unhappy non-writing camper at the moment. You know who else is not a happy camper right now? You guessed it, Charles Barkley.

Barkley pled guilty to DUI charges in Scottsdale and was sentenced to 10 days in the can, so that mean he should be eligible for parole around March 26. This means that he will only miss only one TNT doubleheader: Pistons at Bulls and Rockets at Jazz on Tuesday, March 24. Some judge in Arizona got kick back for this favorable scheduling there, I’m sure.

Sir Charles also has to pay more than two grand in fines he also has to install an ignition interlock device on all of the vehicles he owns and complete a court-ordered alcohol treatment program. However this worse end of the deal is the fact that the never shy from controversy Barkley will be wearing pink in the clink because he will be serving his time in Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s infamous Tent City Jail where some of the inmates have to wear pink boxers. If this doesn’t have cheap Fox reality TV show written on it then nothing does!

“I’m taking a lot of heat for putting convicted illegal immigrants in the tents. How am I going to discriminate and not put high-profile people in the tents?” Arpaio asked.”

However Sir Charles will be on a working release so he will actually leave the prison from 8 a.m. and return 8 p.m. that same day because the reality is the prison stint is just one of the qualifiers to being Alabama’s governor. Strangely enough, the ’round mound’ means something completely different in prison showers.

When this is over with I’m sure Barkley will be a better person, let’s just all hope he doesn’t come out and say “That prison rape was turrrurrible.”

For the record I’m sure Barkley saw enough pink underwear from his days of playing with Kevin Johnson.

Posted in Charles Barkley, DUI, dumbass, Fines, NBA, Sheriff Joe Arpaio, Tent City | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Roger Goodell hates the snow and the fun you can have with it

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 24, 2008

I’ve concluded that Roger Goodell is just a grumpy old bastard In the video above you see the Jets’ Shaun Ellis “playfully” throwing a freaking block of ice snowball at fans, who by the way, started it by throwing snowballs at him and his teammates. In Philadelphia they would have thrown a sleigh right back in Ellis’ face.

Favre threw a snowball into the stands but it got picked off. Of course Goodell fines Ellis ten thousand dollars, apparently only NFL sanctioned snowballs can be used for post-game fan splattering. Plaxico would have found a way to drop that snowball on his leg.

I wonder what the fine will be for the Wes Welker snow angel incident.

Just wait until this weekend, when TO celebrates a touchdown by writing his name in the snow.

Posted in Fines, Goodell, New York Jets, NFL Football, Roger Goodell, Seattle Seahawks | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Vicious hit of the week & I mean vicious

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on September 30, 2008


  • (a.) Bitter; spiteful; malignant.
  • (a.) Characterized by vice or defects; defective; faulty; imperfect.
  • (a.) Not well tamed or broken; given to bad tricks; unruly; refractory; as, a vicious horse.
  • (a.) Addicted to vice; corrupt in principles or conduct; depraved; wicked; as, vicious children; vicious examples; vicious conduct.

Eric Smith seemly demolished Anquan Boldin in Sunday’s Cardinals/Jets game to the point that Boldin had to be taken off the field on a stretcher. It was clearly a cheap & vicious helmet to helmet hit, watch the video below and you will see the hit if you wait for the replay to slow down.

The NFL has now taken swift, and somewhat appropriate, action against Smith, by suspending him for one game and fining him $50,000.

Specifically, on a pass play on Sunday, Smith engaged in helmet-to-helmet contact with Arizona Cardinals wide receiver Anquan Boldin, who was in a defenseless position at the time contact was made.

The suspension will sideline Smith for the Jets’ game against the Cincinnati Bengals on Sunday, Oct. 12 following the Jets bye on Oct. 5. The $50,000 fine includes the game check Smith will forfeit for the week of his suspension.

While at the least it’s a punishment but is it enough? I wouldn’t mind seeing Roger “The Sheriff” Goodell suspend the violators of the helmet to helmet rule, for the length of the injury sustained by the victim and then a minimum of 3 games beyond that. Quite frankly I also wouldn’t mind see the fines raise to a minimum of $200,000 either. Let’s face it for some players a $50,000 fine simply means they will have to shorten a vacation by two days during the off season. These are just my opinions if you have any others please voice them.

Posted in Arizona Cardinals, Fines, New York Jets, NFL, NFL Football, Roger Goodell | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Well at Least Benson Didn’t Get Tasered.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 5, 2008

When I first read about this I had my fingers crossed that he ran from police, so the hilarious jokes could ensue. Needless to say, I’m disappointed. However Cedric Benson still needs a hug.

Chicago Bears failure of a running back Cedric Benson was charged with boating while drunk like pirate after failing a sobriety test and resisting arrest that required officers to use pepper spray before dragging him ashore Saturday night.

The flip side though is Benson didn’t have to say “Don’t taser me bro.”

“I was not intoxicated,” Benson told the Chicago Sun-Times. “There was alcohol on the boat and others were enjoying themselves, but I wasn’t drunk.”

“They gave me a field sobriety test, told me to say my ABCs and told me to count from 1 to 4 up and down,” Benson told the Chicago Tribune. “I’m thinking, I passed all the tests, did everything right. Then the officer told me we needed to go to land to take more tests. I politely asked him why we needed to go to land to take more tests when I took every test. Then he sprayed me with mace, on his boat.”

“I’m not handcuffed. I’m not under arrest. I’m not threatening him. I’m not pushing him. I’m not touching him. And he sprays me right in my eye.”

Yeah….right….sure. Just because you think you passed the tests doesn’t mean you passed the tests. That’s like the drunk guy at the bar thinking he’s the best looking. Just because he thinks he is, isn’t what other people are seeing. And don’t hand out that BS about I asked him politely.

The water patrol can pull you over for any reason, usually for a safety check. When you have more than a dozen people on a boat, you can plan on them pulling you over to see if there are enough life preservers on board. That’s too many people on a 30′ anyway, but no one accused Cedric of actually having a brain anyway.

Dumping “evidence” Cedric?

Benson was operating the boat with 15 passengers aboard when he was stopped by a Lower Colorado River Authority officer for a random safety inspection. He failed a field sobriety test on the officer’s boat and was uncooperative when the officer tried to take him ashore, the authority said.

“When Benson did not pass the test, he presented himself as a threat to the officer and argued about whether or not he would be taken to land to have a follow-up field sobriety test performed on land and refused to put on a life jacket,” the authority said in a statement. The officer had to use pepper spray to subdue Benson, a move the running back was to drunk and stupid to understand.

When are police departments going to realize that pro football players are special citizens who, in pursuing their dreams, have a god-given right to alcohol and guns? The government needs to get back to the business of protecting the rich against the poor and leaving these guys alone.

“Even after they pepper-sprayed me, I have no idea why they did that. I was cooperative,” Benson told the Sun-Times. “I asked them several times why they did that and they didn’t give me an answer.”

Benson then refused to leave the officer’s boat and authorities had to drag him to a car to be taken to the Travis County jail, the authority said.

Of course Benson’s account differs. He told the Tribune that he was not near his family when the police restrained him.

“Nobody saw what he did to me,” Benson told the newspaper. “I started screaming for my mother to come. That’s when they put me under arrest. And the officer threw a life jacket over my head.

“Once we got to land, the Travis County police grabbed me and kicked my feet from under me. So I landed on my back while I was handcuffed. They held me down and held the water hose over my face. I couldn’t breathe, I’m choking, I’m begging the cops, ‘Please stop. Please stop.’ Then they picked me up and dragged me backward toward their car. And I’m still being polite, asking them, ‘Sir, could you please allow me to walk like a man to your cop car?’ They just kept dragging me on.”

Wow you admit to calling your mommy….

“Right now it’s one-sided, and I would like to know exactly what they’re basing their allegations on,” Benson’s lawyer, Brian Carney, told the Tribune. “It’s very, very early. And we still haven’t had a chance to evaluate what exactly they think that they have.

“Those allegations are untrue,” Carney added. “I think it’s a shame that they proceeded the way they did. I can tell you right now that we’re going to resolve this. We’re going to work through it. And we’re going to maintain our position that this was inappropriate and that he’s not guilty of any of these things. Cedric was extremely cooperative with these officers. He complied. He performed their tests that they asked him to do.”

Benson told the Tribune he is about 98 percent healed from the ankle injury that ended his season in 2007.

Good to see him focused on his rehab and the upcoming season. Nothing like getting beat down by the Po Po to help you train. I guess resisting the police helps him work on his cutting and shedding linemen. Problem is that if he can’t shed a couple of cops, he isn’t ready, or ever will be ready to shed DL’s, DB’s, etc.

“This is tough to deal with because you’re guilty until proven innocent,” Benson told the newspaper. “My name is blasted out there like I was fighting these police officers or something. That totally was not the deal. I’m not stupid.”

Oh yes you are! You have had legal problems before.

He was sentenced to eight days in jail in 2003 for a misdemeanor trespassing charge after forcing his way into an apartment to look for a reported stolen TV.

In 2002, a misdemeanor for drug and alcohol charges was brought against him.

Did he also get pepper sprayed before every game last year? That’d explain a lot.

Benson rushed for more than 5,500 yards and 64 touchdowns at the University of Texas, going for 1,000 yards in four straight seasons.

The 25-year-old has done little since the Bears took him with the fourth pick of the 2005 draft.

As a rookie he didn’t beat out Thomas Jones and rushed for 272 yards in nine games. He was more effective the next season while sharing time with Jones, going for six touchdowns and 647 yards.

Last year, Benson took over as the featured back after Jones was traded. He rushed for 674 yards, four touchdowns and 3.4 yards a carry before going on injured reserve in November.

In three years with the Bears, Benson has rushed for 1,593 yards and 10 touchdowns, averaging 3.8 yards a carry. He’s also missed 13 games.

The Bears draft strategy with Benson was:

“Hey Ricky Williams came out of Texas, let’s get this guy!!!”

Nobody wants a RB that doesn’t wear a life-vest when he is abusing alcohol.

Posted in Cedric Benson, Chicago Bears, DUI, Fines, Po Po, Sports | Tagged: , , , , , | 1 Comment »