Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Posts Tagged ‘Fulmer Cup’

A Blue Hen gets stabbed…by themselves….maybe…

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 13, 2009

The University of Delaware’s top wide receiver was arrested for a stabbing, except he might have been the one that was stabbed. Unless he wasn’t the stabber. It’s confusing. Let’s chase this vortex of confusion a little further. 

The Blue Hen’s best offensive player, Mark Duncan, might not be ready for the upcoming season due to getting stabbed and being charged with filing a false police report. Duncan was admitted to the hospital because of a stab wound on 05/30/09, and told the police he was attacked and victimized by some stranger while playing basketball. I’m sure things like this happen all the time in the state of Delaware so of course that version of the story is believable. 

Then something happened to his story and it changed. Duncan then said he knew his attacker however he refused to give him or her up to the local Po Po. I believe something was whispering in his mind’s eye: Stab wound? That’s nothing. Only bitches get stitches. 

A few days later the story changed again. In this version Duncan states he was out walking and four men jumped him. 

Newark (Del.) police issued a warrant this week “after determining that he’d switched his story too many times,” which goes to show that three times is the charm to go from hapless victim to lying football player with a hole in him. 

What still hasn’t been answered is: Who really stabbed Duncan? Did he stab himself as a way to get out of the state of Delaware a year early? Oh and he threw a ball at the cop in the National Championship game.

Posted in Delaware Blue Hens, dumbass, Fulmer Cup, Little Bitch, Snitches, stabbed | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

It all smoke and mirrors because Georgia cheats!

Posted by Billy Bob Bammer on August 5, 2008

The Fulmer Cup is ours bitches! Keep your MFing paws off!

The Fulmer Cup is ours bitches! Keep your MF'ing paws off! RTR!

You dirty MF’ing Dawgs! I know that you know that I know that Little Bear Cub knows that you dirty Dawgs are nothing but cheaters! I should know I’m a Bama fan and Bama fans know cheating tactics (R.I.P. Logan Young) when they see it. Hell we invented it! rtr

Do you Dawg fans have a contract on my life? As Thomas the Terrible reported, when I heard about your practice sessions for next years Fulmer Cup I went on a Copenhagen & PBR bender. Now that I’m out of the hospital I see you’re actually trying to make a push to win that dang’um cup this year!

Georgia listen to me, you’ll never defeat Alabama (except on the football field.) To add insult to injury you’re holy of holiest coaches is trying to steal our cup by cheating!! You dirty Dawgs! rtr

Go ahead and suspend Darius Dingleberry Dewberry for overturning the beds of Bama fans trashcans and vandalizing a hospital. Truth is he wasn’t arrested so you get no Fulmer Cup points! Ha! RTR!

“Yeah, it’s embarrassing,” Richt said, “it’s sad. It’s certainly been a distraction. There is no way you can say it’s not a distraction because it has been.”

You should be embarrassed about how you are trying to win the Fulmer Cup by cheating.

I will give Richt credit for choosing the pattern of discipline that the Florida Gators School of Discipline proved useful:

  • Rule 1 – Always suspend your players during the first game (or two) of the year against patsies. No longer is suspension ever necessary.
  • Rule 2 – The Crowder rule. If a tough opponent appears during the first two games, enforce the discipline at a later game in the year against a weak sister team.
  • Rule 3 – The Thomas rule. Alternate suspension time around important games. Suspend the player. Bring him back. Suspend him again. Bring him back. Then dismiss him.

Go ahead and try to cheat in order to win. You’ve bitten off than you can chew Dawgs. Alabama perfected this method. The crimes of your players are frail and weak compared to Bammers crimes. You have pubic drunkenness we have cocaine dealer. (Remember to stop by the corner of Main & 4th that’s where I opened my Jimmy Johns franchise.) RTR

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to masturbate to old episodes of “Petticoat Junction.” RTR Bitches!

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama'zoids, Bammers, cheaters, Fulmer Cup, Georgia Bulldogs, mark richt, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »