Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Posts Tagged ‘Jason Giambi’

Yankees players are finding new things to suck at

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 26, 2008

The Yankees are all but dead when the post season is concerned so some of them are doing what Mickey Mantle did: drink a lot when not playing.

According to the New York Post Jason Giambi (former porn-tache supporter) & Joba Chamberlain were drowning their sorrows in some dump when a table of fans challenged them to a game of “Beer Pong.”

“IT would be tough for average Joes to beat a couple of Yankees at baseball, but slamming them in a game of beer pong was no sweat. Last week, Jason Giambi and Joba Chamberlain were celebrating their win against the Kansas City Royals at Southern Hospitality, on Second Avenue, when a table of fans challenged them to a game of the college drinking sport. Our spy said, “The fans gave them a beating. Toward the end Chamberlain and Giambi got really competitive, but it wasn’t enough.”

The last line might signify the entire for the Yankees. They got competitive but it wasn’t enough. Trust me I’m not shedding a tear.

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Posted in Beer Pong, Jason Giambi, Major League Baseball, MLB, new york yankees, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Random Musings Part 2

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 31, 2008

Even though she hasn’t won a tournament yet or apparently can write her name on a score card Forbes reports that Michelle Wie is hightest paid golfer on the LPGA tour. That might explain why the rest of the LPGA ladies hate her and questions her skipping a major event to play in some rinky-dink men’s event that sounds like it is straight out of Tincup.

“I really don’t know why Michelle continues to do this. We have a major this week and, if you can’t qualify for a major, I don’t see any reason why you should play with the men.” said Sorenstam

The Packers offered Brett Fa*** more money to say home and shut the hell up. I heard Brett was late for the meeting…that’s odd it’s not like Fa*** to keep the Pack waiting…oh wait…nevermind.

Oh to be Renault Formula One managing director Flavio Briatore (who already knocked up Heidi Klum), check out more pictures of his wife.

The Olympics will suck, we all know that. Especially now that China will be limiting journalist access to the Internet something they promised the IOC they would not do. Of course the IOC is backing China now. I say we boycott.

Danny Ford is God is getting under God Spurrier’s skin. Also check out their tag line at the top.  🙂

The Chicken Curse takes a look at Spurrier’s latest presser. They offer some different perspectives.  😉

I’ve added two new Vols blogs to the list:

Legions of the Miserable

The View from the Hill who is also the newest edition to the Big Orange Roundtable

Also so checkout these BOR members responses to this weeks questions

Finally porn-tache thong wearing Jason Giambi flies the bird during a game. Stay classy Jason!

Posted in Bear is Dead, Beat Bama, Chicken Curse, Golden Thongs, Indy Car, Jason Giambi, LPGA, Major League Baseball, Michelle Wie, MLB, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Steve Spurrier, The Big Orange Roundtable, The Olympics, yankees suck, YouTube | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The AMI & the Porn Industry Support Jason Giambis’ All Star Mustache

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 10, 2008

Up until this year most Yankee fans would have told you that they hate Jason Giambi. He was just another overpaid underachieving cog in the Yankees evil empire. Then suddenly something happened, he grew a mustache reminiscent of the mustaches that the 70’s porn kings such as Ron Jeremy sports.

So let’s be clear on this. Jason Giambi wears a golden thong & sports a porn-stache all equal starting first baseman for the American League in this years’ all star game.

Of course Jason had some help. The American Mustache Institute (AMI) whose mission statement of “Protecting the rights of, and fighting discrimination against, mustached Americans by promoting the growth, care, and culture of the mustache,” officially endorsed Giambis’ all star ballot.

“It doesn’t take a mathematician to figure out that Jason Giambi’s hitting prowess plus a fashionable mustache, equals a bona fide All-Star,” said Aaron Perlut, Executive Director of The American Mustache Institute. “Giambi’s significant first-half production as well as his powerful lip fur – indicating great intellect and good looks – make two very compelling reasons for his place on the American League All-Star roster.”

Lip fur…lovely…oh & they made a video as well. Praising Giambi and man-loving his mustache.

The Yankees actually urged the fans in a press release to vote for Giambi and his porn-stache:

The New York Yankees are urging fans to “Support the ‘Stache” and vote for first baseman Jason Giambi on Major League Baseball’s Final All-Star Ballot.

Before this year the only thing Giambi delivered for the Yankees was an admission to using steroids but thanks to his golden thong and his Ron Jeremy like mustache he’s in the all star game.

All this is driving Yankees radio announcer John Sterling to act less than professional in the media dining room at Yankees stadium. According to the New York Post:

Yankees radio announcer John Sterling is being called out for foul behavior in the stadium’s press dining room. “Sterling has made a habit of walking over to the dessert table and dipping his finger into the ice cream barrel,” one stadium worker told us, adding that the play-by-play vet has also used the same tablespoon to repeatedly take samples. During the Boston series, “He wandered over to the cake and pie section, broke off a piece of a cake slice, ate it and wiped his grimy hands on the linen tablecloth, leaving the remainder of the slice for someone else to eat – which indeed happened,” our spy continued.

See what you can achieve with the support of the AMI and the porn industry backing you? The porn-stache is a powerful thing. But only a goatee like I and Boston Red Sox slugger Kevin Youkilis sport, can bring you the riches of a popular blog and your own sports drink.

Posted in Boston Redsox, Evil Empire, Jason Giambi, Kevin Youkilis, Major League Baseball, MLB, Mustache Fever, new york yankees, Ron Jeremy, Sox Rock!, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »