Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Posts Tagged ‘Jerrell Powe’

Playboy’s Top 10 party schools

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 23, 2009

After this picture was taken, Howie Long chastised Jimmy Johnson for using a "man hand protector" while drinking his beer.

Just what every parent needs to know: Playboy magazine’s top 10 party schools. Coming in at #1 is the University of Miami. 

”I’ve been to the University of Michigan and that UM is crazy…[W]e rarely have parties on campus. We just go to ones that are more exclusive.” [Miami Herald

Michigan students party to blackout their school’s performance on the football field.

Here is a complete list of the schools: 

1 – University of Miami 
2 – University of Texas at Austin 
3 – San Diego State University 
4 – University of Florida 
5 – University of Arizona 
6 – University of Wisconsin at Madison 
7 – University of Georgia 
8 – Louisiana State University 
9 – University of Iowa
10 – West Virginia University 

And here is the list with pictures is case Jerrell Powe is attempting to read this.

Posted in ACC, Beer Pong, big 10, Big 12, Big East, Jerrell Powe, Miami hurricanes, Pac 10, Party Schools, Playboy Magazine, SEC | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Hells Yeah!!! The SEC rulez in this Top 20 poll as well!!!!

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 29, 2008

We all know the SEC generally dominates the football polls this year; well they also dominate the Princeton Review list of top party schools in the country!!!

Let’s break it down peeps.

1. University of Florida. Guns, sweet sticky icky weed & Tebow.

2. University of Mississippi. The Grove, the cheerleaders & Jerrell Powe

3. Penn State University. Joe Pa, a shitload of arrests and the Penn State Paranormal Research Society

4. West Virginia University. Deliverance, igniting couches & Rich Rodriguez

5. Ohio University. At least they can beat tOSU at something

6. Randolph-Macon College. Who the hell is this? Seriously

7. University of Georgia. Uga, the umpteen million personalities Herschel Walker & fans that paint their heads

8. University of Texas. Dope head/actor Matthew Mcconaughey, Bevo & Mac Brown

9. University of California-Santa Barbara. Mascot looks like a psychotic Hamburglar

10. Florida State University The Cowgirls, Bowden & wondering if he will ever retire.

11. University of New Hampshire. Like there is anything better to do there.

12. University of Iowa. Sex scandal, Haden Frye and still sucking at football

13. University of Colorado. Ralphie, Hawkins and see above

14. University of Indiana. Bobby Knight, text messaging fool Sampson & basketball season doesn’t look good next year

15. Tulane University. The green wave due to puke

16. University of Illinois. The Fighter Zookers enough said

17. Arizona State University. Ugly school colors, PAC 10 & Eckerson NCAA sanctions to follow

18. University of Tennessee. GO VOLS! Cumberland Ave. Rocky Top & Smokey!

19. University of Alabama. Cheaters, Dead Behr & Subpoenas

20. Loyola University. The French Quarter and attempting to out drink Tulane.

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, alcoholics, Arizona State Sundevils, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Colorado Buffalos, Fighting Illini, Florida Gators, Florida State Seminoles, Florida Sucks, Georgia Bulldogs, Jerrell Powe, ole miss rebels, Rocky Top, SEC, Texas Longhorns, Uga, West Virginia Mountaineers, WVU, Zooker | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

At 2:26 PM Today the Official One Year Anniversary Begins

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 27, 2008

Wow, one solid year of writing this crap for you peons sharing our thoughts on sports related subjects.

First & for most I would like to thank Joel and Ghetto Philosopher for being the men that they are first and contributing writers second. I would thank Billy Bob Bammer and Little Bear Cub but they’re Bama bastards.

I also thank the following blogs in no particular order for inspiration and for giving me laughs when I sometimes need it the most.

I also want to thank the following people/teams/morons & all around idiots for giving such great material.

  • Steve God Spurrier and the USC thugs
  • Florida Gaytors
  • Cheating Bammers
  • O.J. “Slasher” Simpson
  • Michael Vick
  • University of West Virginia
  • New York Yank’mees
  • Every athlete that has been arrested this past year
  • Roger Clemens
  • Mindy Mccready
  • Jerrell Powe
  • Danica Patrick
  • Adam Pacman Jones

But mostly I want to thank you the readers. Whether we have pissed you off or made you laugh thank you for stopping by. The writers and I look forward to another year of slamming your favorite team and/or sports personality.

Posted in Adam Jones, Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, conVick, Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, Florida Gators, Jerrell Powe, Michael Vick, new york yankees, Ole Miss, ole miss rebels, Pacman Jones, Po Po, Roll Tide, Ron Mexico, satire, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Steve Spurrier, West Virginia Mountaineers, white trash, WTF, WVU, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

Oh But Kenny We Hardly Knew Thee…and for that I’m Thankful

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 15, 2008

Junior wide receiver Kenny O’Neal will transfer to another school meaning one less piece of dead weight is gone from the team.

O’Neal, who began his career at F$U before coming to UT after playing one season at City College of San Francisco, struggled failed miserably with academics while at Tennessee. Look at him he literally looks stupid. However I bet he can dodge a bullet better than Matt Patchan. Ooohh yeah Gator fans I went there. If O’Neal couldn’t learn Cutcliffe’s 2 plays, he has no hope of success at another D-1 school.

He was declared academically ineligible for the Outback Bowl on Jan. 1 and missed all of spring practice in order to focus more on academics. Which really meant he was somewhere in between coloring between the lines and reading “See Dick Run” both of those combined are lite years ahead of Jerrell Powe.

“We excused Kenny from spring practice for the entire spring to get his academics in order,” Fulmer said last week when asked about O’Neal’s future with the Vols. “We’ll just to have to see how he comes out through finals. We should know any day now.”

Well apparently that day has come. I was never a fan of this guy.

A highly touted member of UT’s 2007 recruiting class, O’Neal finished his UT career with a whopping two receptions for 59 yards, including a 49-yard touchdown reception against Louisiana-Lafayette who Alabama LOST to. 🙂 No Phil didn’t kill Kenny his lack of focus in the classroom and on the field did though.

Posted in Florida State Seminoles, Florida Sucks, FSU, Jerrell Powe, Phillip Fulmer, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Ole Miss Will Most Likely Begin Coaching Search Today

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 26, 2007

Today’s date is 2 A.0. (after 0) for the Ole Miss football program. For the second time in four years, Ole Miss has really screwed themselves royally by firing their football coach. When I learned about this my first thought was “That’s a mistake he’s only been there 3 years”, my second thought was “I wonder if Jai Eugene of ‘Losers With Socks‘ will have to change his aviator now”. The first time involved the firing of David Cutcliff after so much success he brought them, the latest firing involves the man, the myth, the legend, the man-god with 42″ python arms Coach 0, just after a poultry 3 years there. Three years? Are you kidding me?

Coach 0’s firing comes on the heels after Chancellor Robert Khayat endorsed Orgeron last month. Khayat told the AP that Coach 0’s job was safe and he believed the coach would eventually field a winner, even if it took five or six years. In that same interview Khayat also showed some rather unnatural man-love towards the 0. Those details can be found here.

So now after Ole Miss has shown the SEC that they too can be like Alabama & Notre Dame, and fire a coach after a relatively short period of time. The search should begin today. Let’s look at some candidates that could possibly become the next Ole Miss football coach.

David Cutcliff: Oh wait my bad. Not only would the athletic director have to get on his knees and beg him to return, he would also have to tongue his balls in the process.

Bo Pelini: HA! You think he’ll go there over Nebraska? Bahahahaha.

OK OK OK here’s the real list, I was just kidding on the first two.

  1. Rick Neuheisel: He hasn’t been coaching for awhile now. In fact I’m not even sure if he’s still alive, but if they can find him and sober him up it possible.
  2. Mike Shula: Why not? He was wrongly canned last year so getting fired again within another 3 years wouldn’t be a new experience.
  3. Gary Barnett: He can enticed recruits to come to Ole Miss with sex and alcohol during recruiting visits & actually coach as well, he’s a winner.
  4. Coach Fran: Wait even Ole Miss wouldn’t stoop that low.
  5. Bill Callahan: He can win more than 3 times a year.
  6. Gus Malazan: This could be a real win-win here. The “I’ll whip your ass in the parking lot” looks he would throw towards Houston Nutt is worth the admission price alone.
  7. Kevin O’Dea: Don’t know a lot about him but he is a coach with the Chicago Bears. The cool thing about him is people can still keep their Coach O decals on their cars.
  8. Me: That’s right bitches m-e ME! I have no clue on how to coach, but neither did Coach 0 and that’s didn’t stop him. For a generous salary I’ll coach that team or at least teach Jerrell Powe how to read. I’ll employ my patented motivational tools to the job. A whistle and cattle prod.


Hire Kevin O’Dea

 

So take your pick Ole Miss but remember I have a cattle prod and I’m not afraid to use it bitch.

So I profess on this day 11/26/07

TtT

Posted in bad calls, Bill Callahan, Coach Fran, coach o, Jerrell Powe, mentally challenged, ole miss rebels, satire, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, trailer trash | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

Coach 0 & the 20 Thieves

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 19, 2007

Yaw yaw Who Wants Some? Come On!!

Coach 0 is starting to show signs of becoming a good SEC coach. A perfect example of this is even though 20 players were caught stealing from hotels for a second time, he doesn’t suspend them, no he only places them on “probation”. Story

Look out God Spurrier, Fulmer, Saban & Meyer there’s a new weak disciplinarian in town. He goes by Coach 0. Some of the items taken were pillows, radios, those little bars of soap, an ice machine, 2 house keepers & a La Quinta Inn billboard. Coach 0 quickly got some boosters to pay for the items so they would be able to play against Mississippi State. Like they say in those Guinness ads “Brilliant”!

“Yaw yaw yaw thieving Brent Schaffer yaw yaw yaw” Coach 0 said.

Which translates to:

“Any actions similar to this will result in more severe penalties which may but highly doubtful include dismissal from the team or washing my balls.”

This is the fourth time Coach 0 has had to swing his “justice hammer” this season. Of course the other times involved those mythical team rules. He even suspended the SEC sack leader Greg Hardy for two games. See how smart Coach 0 is becoming, you break team rules you’re suspended, you break the law, you’re “on probation”.

Ole Miss is refusing to give out a list of the offenders, another brilliant move. If Coach 0 would have placed 21 players on probation I might refer to him as a genius, since 21 is Jerrell Powe’s IQ.

So I profess on this day 11/19/07

TtT

Posted in coach o, Discipline, Ed Orgeron, Jerrell Powe, mississippi state bulldogs, Ole Miss, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Steve Spurrier | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »