Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Posts Tagged ‘Lord Saban’

The Big Orange Roundtable Volume VIII

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 26, 2008

Sings “It’s the most wonderful time of the year…” I hate that song but right now is the most wonderful time of the year because college football is about to kickoff. How fitting it is to have the craziest Big Orange Roundtablers, Losers with Socks, to be the host this week.

Now call your kids and/or significant other to the computer and STFU because we’re going to the Roundtable.

1. In a perfect world, what time would your UCLA Kick-off start?

For me the perfect time would be 7:00 PM EST. In my perfect world that would give me the time to get my exercise in by throwing unopened jars of baby food at the homeless AKA Bammers, leave plenty of time to blog about how much UCLA sucks ass & watch Judge Judy.

2. Sometimes doing the right thing is tough. Sometimes we have to choose between bad and worse.  I have known snipers that get bothered even though what they did was absolutely right. It seems being a coach would have some similar circumstances. Did you think that Coach Fulmer and staff ever lose any sleep over their choices?

I’m sure Coach Fulmer lost sleep over that embarrassing loss to Bama last year but not because of the choices he made but devising a way to enact full revenge for this years game.

I’m sure if we lose a game by three points the coaches will ponder about the choices they made during and before the game, but lose sleep completely….no.

Phil making it rain....

3. Nick Saban is going to start 10 freshmen against Clemson.  Why is he doing this and did he just buy another year of grace from the Red Elephant Club?

I’m going to allow Billy Bob Bammer to answer this question. After the 11 arrests unfortunate incidents this off-season, Lord Saban has no choice but to start the freshmen. I’m not sure that Saban will start 10 freshmen against Clemson. It is my belief that Saban is doing what he does best and that is lying through his teeth playing mind games.

If Lord Saban AKA the Behr Reincarnated doesn’t win against Tennessee, Auburn and gets Croomed again then I is sure the Red Elephant Club will be reluctant to give him a pass. Then again he is the most powerful man in football at least according to Forbes and A.I.L. magazine (Alabama Incest Love) so he might get a pass. I’m out of here I gots squirrels to hunt!

RTR Bitches!

4. Critique Lou Holtz as a ESPN “analyst”. Irish and Cock Homer or scripted live rassler?

I personally love Lou Holtz…when he’s not within earshot of me. Holtz is the evil moke announcer of ESPN. Someone says something intelligent Holtz is compelled to disagree. I would say that some of his spoken drivel is scripted but the “Lou Lisp” makes it impossible to tell.

The final analysis is he’s a criminally insane Irish Homer who loves the Cock. Funny thing is neither present day fan base can stand him now.

Oh yeah he sucks at everything he does.

Be sure to stop by all the Big Orange Roundtable members’ blogs for their answers.

Posted in Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Big Orange, Cocks, Fuck Bama, Fulmer, Go Vols, Holtz, Lord Saban, Lou Holtz, Lou Lisp, Nick Saban, Rocky Top, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Tennessee Volunteers, The Big Orange Roundtable | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

You damn Hawgs! You’ll never beat us!!

Posted by Billy Bob Bammer on July 31, 2008

Mrs Bammer love Arkansas love. Losers!

Good God almighty I’m tired. I just got back from cutting the kilos and getting ready for the grand opening of my own “Jimmy Johns” franchise. (wink wink) Now that things have settled down here I have time to celebrate the “Logan Young National Championship in Recruiting” and what the hell do I find out? Arkansas is attempting to steal the Fulmer Cup from us? rtr

Ernest Mitchell faces misdemeanor drug and gun charges after a traffic stop? What is this, the sixth player arrested this year, and the third in two months? I’ll admit it’s impressive but Bobby Petrino ain’t any Lord Saban!!! RTR!

However I am impressed with the Fayetteville police department. Mitchell was caught with a small-caliber gun, drug paraphernalia and what was believed to be a small amount of marijuana in his car.

Hey Mitchell come me I’ll hook your Hawg ass up!

Here is the kicker fellow Bammers, Mitchell wasn’t arrested but was given a citation for misdemeanor charges and allowed to leave. Why can’t the Po Po in this ghetto town be so kind?  If it was a Bama player the police would at least ask for a “donation” from the Tide legal fund. rtr

All told Mitchell faces charges of improper display of tags, possession of a controlled substance, possession of drug paraphernalia and simultaneous possession of drugs and a firearm. Improper tags? I never make Mrs. Bammer wear her tags of course she ain’t had her shots either. rtr

Well if you want to burn some ganja while cleaning your Glock, while driving that old truck, Arkansas is the place to be. They don’t call it The Land of Opportunity for nothing. I’ll be looking into opening some “Jimmy Johns” stores there soon. rtr

I’m sure Petrino sure is glad he left the Michael Vick circus in Atlanta for….Arkansas. I wonder what the over/under is in the category of “Hogs arrested” such that Petrino will up and leave in October? And the WalMartians are paying how much per annum for this? Can he guarantee a lose to Louisiana Lafayette? I didn’t think so!  RTR!

So I Arkansas credit for making a late rush for the runner-up spot in the Fulmer Cup. Very impressive. Only a few days to go till the tabulating is over with. But it would take a mega effort to overtake the Tide. RTR Bitches!!!

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Arkansas Razorbacks, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama'zoids, Bammers, Bobby Petrino, classless, Crime & Punishment, Crimson Tide, dumbass, Lord Saban, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »