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Posts Tagged ‘Michael Vick’

In case you didn’t know…

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 20, 2009

Michael Vick snuck out of prison this morning to avoid the onslaught of media that was awaiting for him. However YMSWWC’s super photographer did manage to snap this shot.

FreeVick

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Posted in Crime & Punishment, dog fighting, Douche Bag, Michael Vick, ookie | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Check out the big brain on Michael Vick…

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 6, 2009

There are things in this world that are guaranteed which can not be denied. For example, there will always be death and taxes, the sun will always rise and I will always hate the music of Nickelback no matter how much Holly likes them. There’s also one other thing in this life that is guaranteed and that is Michael Vick is an idiot. 

Last Friday Vick was bitch-slapped in a bankruptcy court. A Virginia judge rejected Vick’s complete and utter moronic bankruptcy plan. Apparently the judge didn’t think it was such a great idea for a convicted felon/ex-athlete, who is up to ears in debt, to claim he needs two houses and four cars. Hilarity did not ensue after this request. 

Reading over Lester Munson’s analysis of Michael Vick’s rejected bankruptcy plan, I can’t help but to wonder just how conscience-stricken the former Falcons QB and dog-fighting financer is. 

At one point during the bankruptcy hearing, Vick actually claimed he was “on lockdown” 23 hours a day, which is a complete lie since minimum-security Federal prisons have no lockdown. 

It was also revealed that Vick removed $150,000 illegally from a defined benefit pension fund, something Vick had already said he knows to be a no-no. Vick claims that he spent all the monies he obtained from Nike via endorsement deals, on life insurance on himself and his mother. I have a feeling that upon hearing this, Marcus probably sighed with relief because that means he will probably not be murdered for cash since no one really likes him anyway. 

So far Vick has spent a staggering $3.7 million for his crackerjack legal and accounting team. The judge pointed out to Vick’s team of legal eagles that he spending about $13,000 a day in litigation. Which I’m sure if this was pointed out privately by someone else would have caused high-fives between the attorneys. 

Maybe it’s time that Vick hires new help or go to Plan B which is where Marcus robs people at fast food joints in order to pay off Michael’s debts after he scrapes together enough money for a bus pass for his getaway first. 

Remember when Marcus said he was “taking his game to the next level” after he was kicked off the Hokies? I take that to mean that he only robs Applebee’s and TGI Friday’s now.

Posted in bad newz kennels, Bankruptcy, Crime & Punishment, dog fighting, Herpes, marcus vick, Michael Vick, Ron Mexico | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Atlanta residents hide your pups. I have Bad Newz, your protocol son might be arriving anytime now

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 27, 2009

You might remember that back in December of 2008 I reported about how America’s favorite dog killing QB, Michael Vick, was getting set to be released to a halfway house. Well, there was a little problem with that idea; the halfway house in question apparently had no room to house Vick. So, being the ever brilliant public servants that they are, officials have decided to send Vick home as in Atlanta to old house.

Vick will be required to wear an ever fashionable electronic monitoring device (I’m hoping for a Shock Collar or an Invisible Fence Collar) and not leave the premises. Of course there is the chance that Vick won’t have a home too go to, which would really make thing interesting.

I wonder if Vick knows that he has been secretly replaced by a non name-brand ACC quarterback.

Vick’s official parole date is this coming July which means he start training for the 2009 season however the Falcons have been trying to trade him since Feb. 12, but not team is stupid enough to want him. Only a team with fans who are a bunch of crazy assholes would go for Vick. Wait, Favre just retired, right?

I, for one, think Cincinnati is a great destination for him. That way, when he comes to Cleveland, half of the Dawg Pound will have nooses on their necks, which would make any bore-fest between Cleveland and Cincinnati somewhat entertaining.

Pity the XFL didn’t last. Think the UFL might grab him a la Doug Flutie?

Posted in Arthur Blank, Atlanta, Atlanta Falcons, bad newz kennels, dog fighting, Michael Vick, NFL Football | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Michael Vick, Chickens & You

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 26, 2009

cockfighting

As most people know I have zero love for Michael Vick or anyone else who abuses animals for that matter. That’s just how I roll. Now that Vick is in a halfway house and is looking to get back in the NFL, PETA is again stepping in requesting that Vick undergo some physiological testing and a brain scan.

When Vick was convicted in ’07, he enrolled and participated in PETA’s sensitivity training and little did I know until recently, his results are online on PETA’s website.

Vick scored a 73.5 out of a 100. One thing I can say for Vick is his handwriting is way neater than mine. However his answers are both surprising and well amusing.

Vick obliviously loves chickens. I do too especially when it’s fried.

Here are some quotes from PETA’s “Developing Empathy for Animals” test that Vick took.

  • “Chickens have an uncanny ability to think and are very agile. They are very athletic to me”.
  • Vick describes the sadness that elephants feel when “visiting the grave site of another family member…rubbing the bones with their trunks and…crying out in grief”. He also writes about the “deer who wouldn’t leave his mate and took a [bullet] for her” and the “piglet who went after the drowning little boy in a story I read. Now that’s heroic”.
  • Vick describes the golden rule as, “Do on to others as u want them to do on to u” (instructor’s note: “right”). He states he can apply it to his life by “showing [animals] that I care and accept them (as long as the feeling is mutual)” (instructor’s note: “not right”).
  • “My Aunt Tina own[ed] a Rotti named Tico. Once my aunt and her boyfriend Wayne [were] having an intense fight. Tico couldn’t get into the house and thought my Aunt Tina was in danger. She jump[ed] through a glass window and pin[ned] my Aunt boyfriend Wayne to the ground just growling until my Aunt called her off. Now that’s loyalty.”

The real question is if the chickens have respect for Michael Vick.

Coming this summer…Bad Newz Chicken Coop.

I’m against Vick playing in the NFL again but I also can’t stand PETA as well. So that being said, I gotta say, if you are going to apply the golden rule to animals and elevate them to the same moral status as man, Vick’s interpretation of how it should be applied has some merit.

So fuck you, Mr. “Not Right” instructor, and go find me some pictures of naked vegans.

Posted in classless, dumbass, Michael Vick, NFL Football, PETA, pitbull, Ron Mexico | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

First stop halfway house, next stop the football field for Vick

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 17, 2008

America’s favorite puppy killing football anti-hero, Michael Vick, is now one step closer to becoming the quarterback for the Detroit Lions.

According to his attorneys, Vick, could I mean COULD be released to a halfway house in the near future. While the attorneys are not giving a specific date of release or what area in the country the supposed halfway house is in, I for one welcome Mr. Vick into my community after all it’s not everyday that a former NFL QB is bagging my groceries at Kroger.

I will happily tip Mr. Vick my standard of three dollars and maybe that will relieve some of the expenses he has occurred in attorney fees since he decided to finance a dog fighting operation. It’s too bad he is being forced to sell his shit like boats and I mean really, really expensive boats at that.

Note the sarcasm in the above paragraph because I’m laying it on pretty freaking thick!

Of course maybe…just maybe Mr. Vick wouldn’t have to go through all this if he didn’t do something so stupid or at least spend $201K on the very day he went to jail. DUMBASS!

How much is a copy of “Making Toilet Wine For Dummies” anyway? That could have purchased a lot of soap-on-a-rope.

“The day he went to jail, Michael Vick bought a $99,000 Mercedes…He gave $28,000 to the mother of his oldest child. He paid a public relations firm $23,000 and gave a friend $16,000[…]

From Aug. 27, 2007, the day he pleaded guilty in a Richmond federal courthouse, until Nov. 19, the day he bought the new Mercedes before reporting to jail, Vick shelled out $3,627,291.”

To be fair, Vick can’t catch a break. The guy unselfishly does his part to stimulate the economy and all people (like me) does is shit on him. Even his cellmate. Especially his cellmate!!

I can’t wait to see him be less effective than Daunte Culpepper in the future or maybe he’ll be a Raider…that would almost be a perfect fit. That is of course he can convince Goodell to “misremember” the whole dog fighting thing.

sales-brisk

I'm getting Vick to sign his latest jersey for me

Posted in Crime & Punishment, dog fighting, Michael Vick, michael vick pleads guilty, Vick, Vick Plea | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Ron Mexico is working at my local Chick-fil-a

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 12, 2008

mrmexico2

Thanks goes to Jeremy for the image and info.

One of my “real life” friends informed me that Michael Vick AKA Ron Mexico must be on some work release program and is a register jockey a local Chick-fil-a. The bigger question here is, why did he tip $10 at Chick-fil-A?

Poor guy….his momma named him Ron Mexico and now he has to put up with crap like this for the rest of his life.

See the full image below.

thumb463x_mrmexico

Posted in Michael Vick, Ron Mexico | Tagged: , | Leave a Comment »

At 2:26 PM Today the Official One Year Anniversary Begins

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 27, 2008

Wow, one solid year of writing this crap for you peons sharing our thoughts on sports related subjects.

First & for most I would like to thank Joel and Ghetto Philosopher for being the men that they are first and contributing writers second. I would thank Billy Bob Bammer and Little Bear Cub but they’re Bama bastards.

I also thank the following blogs in no particular order for inspiration and for giving me laughs when I sometimes need it the most.

I also want to thank the following people/teams/morons & all around idiots for giving such great material.

  • Steve God Spurrier and the USC thugs
  • Florida Gaytors
  • Cheating Bammers
  • O.J. “Slasher” Simpson
  • Michael Vick
  • University of West Virginia
  • New York Yank’mees
  • Every athlete that has been arrested this past year
  • Roger Clemens
  • Mindy Mccready
  • Jerrell Powe
  • Danica Patrick
  • Adam Pacman Jones

But mostly I want to thank you the readers. Whether we have pissed you off or made you laugh thank you for stopping by. The writers and I look forward to another year of slamming your favorite team and/or sports personality.

Posted in Adam Jones, Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Bangs, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, Bama'zoids, Bammers, conVick, Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, Florida Gators, Jerrell Powe, Michael Vick, new york yankees, Ole Miss, ole miss rebels, Pacman Jones, Po Po, Roll Tide, Ron Mexico, satire, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Steve Spurrier, West Virginia Mountaineers, white trash, WTF, WVU, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

Marcus Vick Wants Everyone to Know that he’s Still Alive

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 16, 2008

Marcus Vick, the brother with lesser importance of Michael Vick, sent a shout out to the world last Friday proving that he is still alive and still an idiot by being arrested and charged with driving under the influence and eluding police.

Mama Vick just has to be so damn proud. I believe the family is scheduled on the Jerry Springer show some time next week.

Police said a uniformed bicycle patrol officer observed Vick and a female involved in an altercation in a car around 2 a.m. The officer asked if his assistance was needed, then asked Vick for his driver’s license. Police say Vick then sped away, but was stopped minutes later.

THIS IS SOOOOOOO SHOCKING!!!! Who knew this guy was capable of getting in trouble. Especially with the line of “pedigree” he comes from!! (I’m being facetious of course.)

I’m sure Jerry Jones has already called his agent…twice even.

The concept of bicycle cops just cracks me up. The fact he was stopped by one makes me almost pull a Ken Stabler and piss my pants. In the words of a wise cartoon character…Nelson Muntz….. “Ha, Ha”

Vick failed a field sobriety test and was charged with DUI, misdemeanor eluding police, reckless driving, driving on the wrong side of the road and of course driving on a suspended license. The passenger, Delicia Cordon of Miami, Fla., was charged with being drunk in public. Delicia is pictured on the left. Go ahead and click it.

This is truly a sad story…..I mean, that car could have been seriously damaged.

Vick was released from jail at 6 a.m. Friday on $1,000 bond and is scheduled to appear in court today.

Vick was kicked off the Virginia Tech team after repeated brushes with the law and misbehavior on and off the field. In March 2006, following his junior year, Vick’s guilty plea to traffic violations in Hampton brought the end of his college career because Virginia Tech had him under a zero tolerance policy.

What a WASTE OF LIFE!!! He had some potential in college (but big shoes to fill at VT). Then he did all his stupid things in college to get in trouble on and off the field. He was lucky to even get picked up from an NFL team. Then instead of being appreciative that he’s actually gotten so lucky and made it to that level (where thousands of REAL “college athletes” work their ass off their whole life and don’t make it) he slumps around, gets cut, gets signed by practice squad…and now he’s back in the news again after all of the crap that he did with ANOTHER negative thing.

I’m sure none of this has to do with his big brother giving him everything once he made it pro instead of earning things himself…Range Rover, expensive clothes, nice house, all courtesy of big bro while he was in high school/college. What a joke the Vick legacy has become. Mom and dad must be real proud. Maybe Marcus just misses his big bro a lot and he’s trying to get locked up with him so they can hang out everyday. At least when Marcus looks back to tell his grandchildren he can say that he played in the NFL. Oh wait, he only played one game. Oh wait, he didn’t even play he was just activated. Then he was cut and resigned by the practice squad and cut again from the NFL. My bad, guess you better leave the whole football thing out to the grandkids

I guess I should take an over under on which if any of the Vick boys will be free men in 2010.

Posted in DUI, dumbass, marcus vick, Michael Vick | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

The PC Police Strike Again!

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 21, 2008

A minor league baseball team has dropped plans to hold a welcome party for Michael Vick thanks to the PC police.

The Kansas City T-Bones of the Northern League had planned to have a Michael Vick “Welcome to the Neighborhood” night May 28, complete with prison uniforms, spotlights and escape sirens. Other events promoting caring for animals also were planned.

After receiving complaints about the promotion, the club announced Friday that it will drop the Vick-related events and will focus only on events that promote animal safety and adoptions.

Oh come on! Man up and have the event. it would make for a great laugh. I would pay to go to that for sure. Of course this could open the door for “No Means No!, Kobe” night.

“It was not our intent to be culturally insensitive,” T-Bones general manager Rick Muntean said. “We simply wanted to raise awareness for what we think are great causes. We recognize that the health and well-being of animals is a widely-supported cause of our fan base, so we’re going to keep that our only focus.”

The night will include a dog parade, pregame dog adoptions and entertainment by Rockin’ Ray and the Sky Dogs and some other nobody bands.

Why is it that the free country that we live in is also the most uptight country. Doesn’t anyone have a sense of humor? Anyone with a brain knows that what Vick did was horrible, and this baseball team is just making fun of Vick and not what he did. LOOSEN UP A LITTLE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted in dog fighting, Michael Vick, michael vick pleads guilty, MLB, moron, Prison for Vick | Tagged: , , , , , | 4 Comments »

According to Prison Officials Either Arthur Blank or Vick is Lying about Playing Football (I’m Banking on the Latter)

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 9, 2008

Just one day after the owner of the Atlanta Falcons Author Blank proclaimed in an interview with the New York Daily News that Vick is playing ball in prison to keep his body in shape, his arm limber and hoping to avoid rapists to pass the time, federal prison officials told the Journal-Constitution that Vick did not arrive at the Leavenworth Federal Penitentiary Camp in time to participate in the facility’s football season.

Uh oh someone is fibbing…gee I wonder who it could be. ConVICK’ed felon Michael or billionaire Blank. Hmm…the mind ponders this.

“Apparently, there was a prison football team and he played quarterback for both sides,” Blank told the Daily News. He was referring to statements dog killer Vick said in letters he wrote to Blank.

When told of Blank’s account of Vick’s football activity at the prison, a spokesman for Leavenworth sounded “incredulous,” according to the Journal-Constitution.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kevin Johnson told the newspaper.

A spokesperson for the U.S. Bureau of Prisons told the Journal-Constitution, however, that Vick might be throwing a football in his free time but he also might be getting gang raped and making license plates to pass the time as well.

Then the spokesperson clarified and said “No wait he’s washing pots and pans so being gang raped is more the sure thing. Either way both are great at passing time. However, Vick is on my federal correctional facility fantasy team.”

I wonder if there is a salary cap involved here

“It’s not unheard of for inmates to toss around a football,” Tracy Billingsley another prison spokesperson told the newspaper. “But there just are no games until the fall.”

I think Billingsley meant to say Vick had not COMPLETED any passes in the prison football league.

She also clarified to the newspaper that the inmates play only flag football at the facility and that tackle football aroused the bitch inmates to much.

Wow, they have a deadline to sign up for football in jail? Do they have free agency in jail too? Are we going to be watching a televised Jail house Flag Football game in the Fall?

Blank, through a spokesperson of his own, declined to be interviewed by the Journal-Constitution.

If Blank could pull some strings to get Vick moved to Nash Correctional Institution, he could be tossing bombs to Rae Carruth. How cool would that be?

By the way, the prison checkers league kicks off in February 2009, and the season will last two weeks. The deadline for sign up was two years ago. They’re totally running out of time to get everything organized and set up.

Posted in Ass Whipping, Atlanta Falcons, conVick, court tv, Crime & Punishment, dog fighting, Michael Vick, Ron Mexico | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »