Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Posts Tagged ‘NBA trade’

This Is Why The Grizzlies Suck!!!

Posted by Joel on February 1, 2008

Ok, so I am a Grizzlies fan. I am proud to be a fan of my home town team. Memphis has been the “Susan Lucci” of pro sports cities for a long time, so when the Grizzlies moved in 2001, I was hooked instantly. The franchise has had some success since moving, making the playoffs twice. But when the team has been bad, it’s been horrible. I would hope those of you still reading this post (if you didn’t move on after reading this was a post about a sorry NBA franchise) would allow me to vent. After all, Thomas created this blog to show “how ALL sports teams suck”…

Today, the Grizzlies traded star forward Pau Gasol to the Los Angeles Lakers for (drumroll please) center Kwame Brown, guard Javaris Crittenton, guard Aaron McKie, the rights to Pau’s younger brother Marc, and first round picks in the 2008 and 2010 draft. According to reports, the Grizzlies traded an unhappy star while in his prime and got cap relief in the process.

Let me translate what the Grizzlies got in return: the poster child of broken confidence and draft busts (Brown), another guard that they did not need (Crittenton), a guard who is old and on the inactive list (McKie), Gasol’s younger brother (who couldn’t even do squat against private school competition while going to school in Memphis), and 2 draft picks with a franchise that has been more miss than hit when it comes to draft picks. What the hell??? The Grizz might as well have just asked the Lakers for some bags of rice with all the magic beans they just got from LA. The team has been shopping Gasol for a while now and was rumored to go to the Bulls for a few actually good players (Gordon, Deng) but the best we could get back was Kwame Brown??? I think Woody Paige would have been a better fit for the team’s up tempo style, plus he is just as much of a stiff as Kwame Brown.

This is a franchise that doesn’t know what the hell they are doing right now. It is at best no more of an unmitigated disaster than post WWII Dresden. The team plays in a brand new arena with decent sight lines, you can get a $5 ticket to watch a game, and yet the team struggles to draw 10,000. When did the team become the Atlanta Hawks???

So what now??? I say they trade guard Mike Miller, build around Rudy Gay and Mike Conley and go from there. I am calling for owner Mike Heisley to sell the franchise to someone locally who will give a damn about the team. The team cannot relocate because of a city-franchise agreement, so sell to FedEx Founder/CEO Fred Smith, rename the team the Express or something related to package delivery, and call it a day. Or they could name the team the Bullets, since there’s millions of those flying around the city (though the Wizards may have an issue with that). The point being is that crap rolls downhill, and even though I said in the About the Wirters section that there are 547 Grizzlies fans worldwide, at this rate by this season’s end there will be 329. I will still be one, if only because my blood pressure is already high enough, so what the hell would a few more points matter???

As for what to do with the Pau Gasol jersey that I bought a few years ago (caught it on sale from Marshall’s when the NBA switched from Reebok to adidas apparel), I do have a solution, because we are a solutions-oriented blog:

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*Disclaimer: My dog Jake were harmed in any way for the making of this post. This is not Bad Newz Kennels in VA and am not in any way, shape, or form connected with Michael “Ookie” Vick, his child molesting little brother Marcus, or any other dog fighting members of the Vick family…

Posted in stupid, NBA, ESPN, bad newz kennels, satire, basketball, armed robbery, cat killer, ass chewing, bad calls, boosters, trader, scandal, boo birds, Hawks, Grizzlies, Kobe, Lakers, classless, dumbass, crazy, Internet Rumors, Ass Whipping, team spirit | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

 
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