Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

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Posts Tagged ‘NCAA Rules Violation’

It’s the Lane Kiffin Show

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 24, 2009

I did not create this, however it’s funny as hell.

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, King Kiffin, Lane Kiffin, NCAA Rules Violation, Nick Saban, Tennessee Volunteers, The Lane Kiffin Show | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Bama to give up 21 wins

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 12, 2009

001AlabamaFan

Alabama football will be forced to give up 21 wins from the 2005-07 seasons. Does that really hurt? No, not really. In all 16 athletic programs and 201 athletes were involved in a textbook scam. 

Five players were suspended from the team in 2007 after it was revealed that they used their scholarship benefits to gain free textbooks for other students. Officials were immediately suspicious when athletes decided to pick up any textbooks at all.  However, since the violations allegedly started in 2005, any victory from those three seasons that those players participated in would have to be vacated. The school will also be on the never ending probation for three years and have to pay a fine. 

Vacating wins means absolutely nothing. It doesn’t take back the booster money or tickets sales that those wins generated. The only true way to hurt a school is to take away scholarships, and the NCAA will not be doing that, even though Alabama is a multiple repeat offender. This particular offense is very minor and so is the punishment, even if the NCAA probably wants you to think otherwise. 

Mike Price is celebrating by heading to the strip club…”Roll Tide, right coach?”

“It’s rolling, baby!”

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Bama Cheats, Bama Sucks, cheaters, classless, Fuck Bama, NCAA Rules Violation, Nick Saban, SEC | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Let’s not forget about the other scandal Memphis faces

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 2, 2009

memgolf

Ok now that we know about Derrick Rose supposedly having someone else take his SAT test for him let’s focus on the other part of the University of Memphis scandal, namely the women’s golf team.

Did any non-Memphis fans even know the school had a female golf team? Did any Memphis fans even care? And how many of you have read the book Best Friends?

In the litany of violations that the NCAA sent to the University of Memphis president, there are several that were supposedly commented by former golf coach Jenny Bruun. She is accused of providing “multiple extra benefits valued at approximately $3,115.70 to women’s golf student-athletes,” as well as “impermissible recruiting inducements valued at approximately $70,” that’s just lovely.

Here are some examples:

• “In December [redacted], Bruun provided [redacted] a Christmas gift that included a sweater, Starbucks coffee mugs and a Starbucks gift card. The sweater had an approximate value of $75, the mugs had an approximate value of $30 and the gift card had a value of $25.”

• “In December [redacted], Bruun provided a Christmas gift to [redacted] that included a season series of the television show ‘The West Wing’ on DVD and a wooden tea box and tea bag set. The gifts had an approximate value of $75.”

• “In December [redacted], Bruun provided [redacted] a Christmas gift that included a belt, a book entitled ‘Best Friends,’ a book entitled ‘A Wedding in December’ and a wall hanging. The gifts had an approximate value of $56.96.”

• “Between April and August [redacted] and before [redacted] initially enrolled at the institution, Bruun provided [redacted] a good luck gift, flowers, the movie ‘Miracle’ on DVD and a picture of a bible verse. The gifts had an approximate value of $70.”

A tea bag set? No. No, I can’t. It’s too easy and oh, the West Wing. I can practically taste the sanctimony. Assorted gifts from a women’s golf coach and no wrap around Oakleys? Shocking, just shocking.

Wow, the NCAA can track down the cost of a sweater but yet they fail to do anything about the Reggie Bush situation at Southern Cal. And they also fail to tell us which Bible verse was on the picture. Also can the Bible verse be considered a violation of separation of church and state?

This all seems vaguely familiar to that scene in “Blue Chips” where Nick Nolte’s character gave Anfernee Hardaway’s character a holiday gift basket from Harry & David.

Also:

“In November [redacted], Bruun permitted [redacted] stay at her residence at no cost for approximately two nights after [redacted] apartment was burglarized. The lodging had an approximate value of $160.”

Ok, that’s just being nit picky there.

If you’re a NCAA female golf coach, and insist on giving gifts to your players, just go with a little cunnilingus. It’s from the heart, always appreciated, and leaves no evidence*.

*Besides cold sores.

NCAA notice of allegations (PDF) Commercial Appeal

Posted in golf, Memphis Tigers, NCAA Rules Violation | Tagged: , , | Leave a Comment »

Apparently Derrick Rose really is stupid

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 28, 2009

In less than 24 hours after the news broke about Memphis and “major” recruiting violations, there’s a brand new report that claims Derrick Rose needed a lot of help getting into a finer institute of higher learning.

The Sun-Times is reporting that four students at Simeon High School in Chicago, including Rose, had grades changed on their high school transcripts after graduation. The grade were changed and then mailed to colleges and then changed back once they were mailed. So far no one knows who changed the grades or even why, because it would not have affected the students high school eligibility however it is interesting to note that Rose and two other students affected were apart of Simeon’s back-to-back state championship teams. Amateurs… all I needed was a sharpie to change my F to an A.

Also altered on Rose’s transcript: He likes Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain. He’s not much into Yoga and he has half a brain. Ok I’m paraphrasing on that.

Now I know the very thought of some “one-and-done” player might have needed some help getting into a college is hard to fathom, but trust me it does happen. Since Rose is already in the NBA I suppose we’ll just have to take our anger elsewhere. I vote for booing the kids who misspell words during the televised spelling bee tonight.

Posted in cheaters, Chicago Bulls, Derrick Rose, Memphis Tigers, NCAA Rules Violation | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

The rise of King Kiffin on Twitter

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 21, 2009

TweeterKiffin

Now that Lane Kiffin has proven that either he or his staff will use any kind of technology to get him and the school in trouble, I’ve taken drastic measures and I’ve taken his Twitter privileges away. From here on out if he feels the need to twitter then he has to go through me and I’ll post it under the name King Kiffin.

I’ve actually been doing this for a couple of weeks because his 140 Twitters are extremely boring. (Watching game film.) Mine will be funnier and there won’t be some dumb ass assistant writing them. Personally I would like to see Layla register for a Twitter account.

I keep expecting to see something like this on Lane’s ramblings:

Got up this morning, got caught violating NCAA rules again. Caught wife in bed with Bruce Pearl.

Or this:

LaneKiffinUT@BrucePearl: LOL I Kno! Why do they call us the Volunteers if we get paid, right? g2g, don’t tell Pat about my twitter account! ROTFL!

I picture Kiffin being wheeled away from Knoxville, strapped down to a hand truck, with a mask over his face to prevent him talking.

Somewhere in a dark chamber Al Davis is laughing maniacally. And as soon as someone finds him, changes his soiled britches, brings him back upstairs and tells him about this he’ll laugh even harder.

So if want to start follow King Kiffin on Twitter feel free to if all else fails it will at least be funnier than Ron Zook’s babblings.

Posted in dumbass, King Kiffin, Lane Kiffin, Layla Kiffin, NCAA Rules Violation, Ron Zook, SEC Coaches, Tennessee Volunteers, Twitter, Zooker | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Thanks to the Toledo Rockets we’ll never forget about point shaving

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 7, 2009

Yes point shaving and college athletics are still alive and well today. Just yesterday six basketball and football players from the University of Toledo, along with two from Detroit, were indicted of “conspiracy to comment sports bribery” between 2004 and 2006. Several Toledo area women have been accused of face shaving as well. 

Per the indictment two men from Detroit allegedly wagered over $400,000 on basketball games where point shaving occurred. The athletes involved are point guard Keith Triplett, forward Anton Currie, guard Kashif Payne, and running backs Adam Cuomo, Harvey McDougle, and Quinton Broussard. This investigation dates back to 2007 when McDougle and a gambler known only as “Gary” were first accused of point shaving, however those charges were dropped…only to resurface yesterday. McDougle was accused of helping recruit players into this scheme. 

The two Detritions (“Gary” is one of them) are also accused of attempting to fix a horse race. They didn’t use the right technique. Trust me I know from personal experience you should employ a technique similar to this: 

“You listen to me, Mr. Ed. Do you ever want to see your foals again you rat fuck? You see this blue steel? When it goes bang you fall down dead, fucko. Do yourself a favor. Do the right thing this Saturday. If you do well, you’ll see me one more time. If you do badly, you’ll see me two more times.” 

Today’s charges shine a light into the dark corner of illegal sports book-making and reveal the unfortunate consequences that the influence of money from betting can have on the integrity of both athletes and athletic contests,” U.S. Attorney Terrence Berg said in a statement. 

While some may believe point shaving scandals are as American as washing your car in the driveway, being suspicious of your foreign neighbors and blowing your fingers off with an illegally obtained quarter stick of dynamite, it isn’t. 

I believe that in the mid-majors/ non-BCS conference that point-shaving is a lot more prevalent than we think. I mean it’s not like most of the kids have a pro career to lose out on, and also think of the referees. How much cash could it take to buy off a referee or two college kids? With all the different internet casinos out there a group could easily make a $100,000 a game spreading out their bets. Pay the kids and/or ref $5,000 to $10,000 each (maybe more for the ref) and that’s a pretty decent return on investment. Most of the games aren’t widely televised.

Posted in Feds, NCAA Basketball, NCAA Rules Violation, Point Shaving, Toledo Rockets | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

Isiah Thomas is employed again no really he is

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 15, 2009

In a state known more for hurricanes, mullets and jorts comes one man to turn the college basketball scene upside down and that is Isiah Thomas. 

Now history tells us that Isiah Thomas as a coach is well…dreadful but that was at the pro level. There is no telling what he will or can do at a college level. However I believe that Thomas’ qualifications to coach a college team are nil. 

Let’s run review his qualifications and I’ll you decide: 

  • 30 years ago he played 2 years for Bobby Knight
  • He took a conference champion to a .500 record and three straight first-round playoff defeats. 
  • He bankrupted the entire ABA league.
  • He ruined the New York Knicks who at the time was a historically proud NBA franchise. 

Those things alone should bring fear to any athlete director but then there are these things that took place when he was in charge of the Knicks to consider: 

  • An $11 million sexual harassment suit
  • Accusations of racism
  • Stephan Marbury
  • OD’ing on sleeping pills to only blame the daughter
  • He’s an asshole 

It would be hard for Florida International not to get better considering their record this past season and the antics of Thomas’ past might even land them some games on ESPN but did they sell their soul in order to obtain Thomas? We see what a disaster he was at the Knicks so you should wonder if he is even capable at reading an NCAA rulebook. However you can look at it like this: If Isiah can find another job; the economy must finally be on the mend. 

Rumor has it that the students have already petitioned to change the school’s abbreviation:

Fuck.

Isiah?

Uuuuuuugggggggh. 

In a related story, Flip Saunders has agreed to coach the Wizards. 

This is the man that FIU should have hired!

Posted in Bob Knight, Florida International University, Isiah Thomas, jorts, Kige Ramsey, NBA, NCAA Basketball, NCAA Rules Violation, New York Knicks, scandal, Sexual-Harassment Case, suicide attempt, zeke | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Breaking down the 2009 Tennessee recruiting class

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 6, 2009

helmet

Well signing day has come and gone and of course most Tennessee fans are happy with this years results given that King Kiffin®  had a limited time getting them. Plus this class is ranked considerably ranked higher than last years.

With this class being ranked so much higher I found it more difficult to make fun of analyze them properly,  but I’ll give a try.

Since last year’s breakdown was such a success I’m here to breakdown this year’s recruiting class. Hopefully I’ll find another gem like Carson Anderson who is currently writing the “The Tao of Fat & Stupid Phil Fulmer” as I type.

askew1

Jerod Askew ****

Position:  Middle Linebacker

Other schools that offered:

  • Virginia Tech
  • West Virginia
  • Alabama
  • Clemson
  • Maryland
  • Michigan
  • NC State
  • Oklahoma
  • South Carolina

Strengths:

  • Speed
  • Toughness
  • Hitting ability
  • 4.7 GPA
  • Resisted the bags of cash and Jimmy Johns brand of cocaine that Alabama had to offer
  • Resisted the bong hits with Michael Phelps that South Carolina had to offer

Weaknesses:

  • 4.7 GPA. He studies too much when he should be learning the playbook and breaking laws
  • Size

Prediction:

This is one that Saban wanted and the Bama nation (of trailers) is not happy to lose this one. He will apply that lofty GPA to graduate early, cure cancer, develop time traveling wormholes & prank call Saban every chance he gets. This will all be completed as he sits on the bench because he proved he was indeed smarter than the entire coaching put together.

edwards

Mike Edwards ****

Position: Cornerback

Other schools that offered:

  • Cincinnati
  • Illinois
  • Indiana
  • Michigan
  • Minnesota

Strengths:

  • Great cover skills
  • Not afraid of contact

Weaknesses:

  • Wears funny looking hats

Prediction:

Will most likely lose an ear due to forgetting to take out the earring while he is being beaten down for wearing that funny hat.

gordon

Eric Gordon ****

Position: Cornerback

Other schools that offered:

  • Texas Tech
  • Alabama
  • Oklahoma
  • South Carolina

Strengths:

  • Speed
  • Natural athletic ability
  • Resisted the bags of cash and Jimmy Johns brand of cocaine that Alabama had to offer
  • Resisted the bong hits with Michael Phelps that South Carolina had to offer

Weaknesses:

  • Dazed look on his face

Prediction:

There’s a reason as to why he face looks so dazed… Here’s a hint…he is clueless as to who Phelps is because if he knew…. Let’s leave it at that.

green1

James Green ****

Position: Wide Receiver

Other schools that offered:

  • Auburn
  • Ole Miss
  • NC State
  • Ohio State
  • South Carolina
  • Syracuse

Strengths:

  • Great hands
  • Resisted the bong hits with Michael Phelps that South Carolina had to offer

Weaknesses:

  • Speed
  • Looks like he can’t grow a full mustache

Prediction:

He will most likely injure his upper lip attempting to shave the mystery mustache over and over again. It’s a mystery because no one else can see it! ZING!

jackson

Janzen Jackson *****

Position: Cornerback

Other schools that offered:

  • Texas A&M
  • Alabama
  • LSU

Strengths:

  • Body Control
  • Burst out of breaks
  • Tackling ability
  • Resisted the bags of cash and Jimmy Johns brand of cocaine that Alabama had to offer
  • Did not want to be referred to as a “Coon-ass” or smell like corndogs

Weaknesses:

  • Backpedal quickness
  • Coverage awareness
  • First name is to similar to cheesy designer Jantzen who makes the worse freaking backpacks ever!!!
  • Boy-band good looks
  • Rumored to have a huge crush on Latoya Jackson

Prediction:

Will most like start his own boy-band called the “U of Tees” and record a mega-hit titled I wish I was the one who knocked up Candice Parker. Eventually the money from that one hit will run out and become the next Ryan Seacrest.

jeffery

Arthur Jeffrey ****

Position: Defensive tackle

Other schools that offered:

  • Clemson
  • Florida
  • F$U
  • Georgia
  • South Florida

Strengths:

  • Athleticism
  • Body control and balance
  • Size
  • Resisted the guns, stinky weed and jorts that Florida had to offer
  • Looks mean

Weaknesses:

  • Strength
  • Technique

Prediction:

Will become the bodyguard for the “U of Tees”.

king

Greg King ***

Position: Linebacker

Other schools that offered:

  • Alabama
  • Arkansas
  • Auburn
  • Miami (FL)
  • Oklahoma State
  • Texas Tech

Strengths:

  • Looks mean
  • Resisted the bags of cash and Jimmy Johns brand of cocaine that Alabama had to offer
  • Hitting ability
  • Size
  • Speed

Weaknesses:

  • Discipline
  • Tackling Technique

Prediction:

15-30 give or take time off for good behavior

thornton

Nigel Mitchell-Thornton ***

Position: Inside Linebacker

Other schools that offered:

  • Wake Forest
  • Duke
  • Georgia Tech
  • Maryland
  • Miss. State
  • Nebraska
  • NC State
  • Oklahoma State
  • Stanford

Strengths:

  • Aggressiveness
  • Athleticism
  • Size
  • 3.4 GPA
  • 1320 SAT

Weaknesses:

  • Foot quickness
  • Pass coverage Skills
  • 1320 SAT. It’s obvious all his life has been football and books so it’s likely he’s still a virgin.
  • Smugness

Prediction

Great another smart one. Nigel will most likely realize that Wake Forest is the place for three star players. There he will realize that he studied so hard instead of dating because he’s gay. This will cause him to promptly flunk out of Wake Forest and settle with some special boy. All the while that smug look will not leave his face.

myles

Darren Myles ****

Position: Wide Receiver

Other schools that offered:

  • Alabama
  • Florida
  • Georgia Tech
  • Kentucky
  • LSU
  • Michigan
  • Notre Dame

Strengths:

  • Closing speed
  • Coverage Awareness
  • Size
  • Resisted the bags of cash and Jimmy Johns brand of cocaine that Alabama had to offer
  • Resisted the guns, stinky weed and jorts that Florida had to offer
  • Did not want to be referred to as a “Coon-ass” or smell like corndogs
  • Found a way to beat the Jedi mindtricks of Charlie Weis

Weaknesses:

  • Recover Ability
  • Gives the thumbs up
  • Smiles

Prediction:

It quickly becomes aware to Darren and those around him, that he just to darn happy to be a SEC football player. Ladies and gentlemen meet the manger of the “U of Tees”. Pssttt Darren give everyone the thumbs up sign.

nelson

Robert Nelson ***

Position: Inside linebacker

Other schools that offered:

  • Auburn
  • West Virginia
  • Miss State
  • NC State
  • South Carolina

Strengths:

  • Attacks the line of scrimmage with reckless abandonment
  • Resisted the bong hits with Michael Phelps that South Carolina had to offer

Weaknesses:

  • Coverage Skills

Prediction:

You might be asking yourself “Does he look high in that photo?” and the answer is YES! Robert will major in agriculture and develop a potent new pot plant and become famously rich from one customer alone, Michael Phelps.

oliver

Nyshier Oliver ****

Position: Athlete

Other schools that offered:

  • Alabama
  • Boston College
  • Georgia
  • Michigan
  • Notre Dame
  • Penn State
  • Strengths:
  • Toughness
  • Found a way to beat the Jedi mindtricks of Charlie Weis
  • Resisted the bags of cash and Jimmy Johns brand of cocaine that Alabama had to offer
  • Looks mean and is mean

Weaknesses:

  • I’m very frightened of this person so please don’t ask me.

Prediction:

Coming from the mean streets of New Jersey there are two things Oliver knows: football and pimpology. Oliver will be the meanest pimp in orange the world has ever seen. Does Nyshier have to choke a Bama fan?

Glamour Shots!

Glamour Shots!

Kevin Revis ***

Position: Offensive Guard

Other schools that offered:

  • Vandy
  • Wake Forest
  • Auburn
  • Duke
  • Georgia Tech
  • South Carolina

Strengths:

  • ACT score of 28
  • Body Control and balance
  • Feet
  • Quickness of the ball
  • Resisted the bong hits with Michael Phelps that South Carolina had to offer

Weaknesses:

  • Pass protection
  • Looks incredibility gay in photos
  • Wannbe boy-band good looks

Prediction:

Kevin will fall into a deep depression after being rejected for the fifth member position of the “U of Tees” and will start drinking heavily. He will later be known as the “American Idol Mauler” for beating up and molesting Janzen Jackson during a taping in the last season of the show.

Please quit calling me Meyer!

Please quit calling me Meyer!

Nu’keese Richardson ****

Position: Wide Receiver

Other schools that offered:

  • Florida
  • Georgia
  • Miami (FL)
  • Michigan
  • South Carolina
  • So Cal.

Strengths:

  • Speed, speed and more speed
  • Explosiveness
  • Resisted the bong hits with Michael Phelps that South Carolina had to offer
  • Resisted the guns, stinky weed and jorts that Florida had to offer

Weaknesses:

  • Once he publicly wore a Florida hat.

Prediction:

I hope he has blocking skills because…oh wait sorry I forget Fulmer was no longer the coach. After a much publicized comment King Kiffin® made about Meyer allegedly cheating to gain the services of Nu’keese, he goes on to have a wonderful career at some other school because he transfers out of Tennessee due to Florida scoring 80 on Tennessee. Way to go Kiffin…

rogers

Zach Rogers ***

Position: Wide receiver

Other schools that offered:

  • Texas Tech
  • Vandy
  • Alabama
  • Auburn
  • Colorado
  • North Carolina
  • Duke
  • South Carolina
  • Stanford

Strengths:

  • Relative of Austin Rogers
  • Resisted the bags of cash and Jimmy Johns brand of cocaine that Alabama had to offer
  • Resisted the bong hits with Michael Phelps that South Carolina had to offer

Weaknesses:

  • Big Ears
  • Mr. Potato Head lips
  • Has that “Please punch me” look about him.

Prediction:

Zach will eclipse every receiving record that Austin Rogers set, which isn’t saying a lot. However he will also become to stand-in lip model for Steve Tyler’s life story as told by the Oxygen network.

Marlon Walls ****

Position: Linebacker

Other schools that offered:

  • Clemson
  • Ole Miss
  • Miami (FL)
  • Virginia Tech

Strengths:

  • Fools people by making them think he’s high all the time

Weakness:

  • He really is high all time.

Prediction:

He will be kicked off the team in his junior year for drug use. He’ll then go to some small school get an internship to the publication “High Times”. Twenty years later he’ll be the editor.

schofield

JerQuari Schofield ****

Position: Offensive tackle

Other schools that offered:

  • Clemson
  • South Carolina

Strengths:

  • Size
  • Resisted the bong hits with Michael Phelps that South Carolina had to offer

Weaknesses:

  • Resembles what Gary Coleman would look like if he grew

Prediction:

Like most offensive tackles we will never hear from him again until he allows a sack.

sykes

Rae Sykes

Position: Strongside Defensive End

Other schools that offered:

  • Juco Transfer

Strengths:

  • None that I could find

Weaknesses:

  • See strengths

Prediction:

Sykes was part of the 2007 signing class. He was ranked as the #14 DE in the nation by Rivals that year. Is it me or does he look like a cocky smartass? I have a feeling he will remind Vol fans of another Juco transfer named Kenny O’Neil.

teague

Marsalis Teague ****

Position: Athlete

Other schools that offered:

  • Alabama
  • Clemson
  • Florida
  • Georgia Tech
  • Michigan
  • Ole Miss

Strengths:

  • Elusive
  • Playmaker
  • Speed
  • Resisted the bags of cash and Jimmy Johns brand of cocaine that Alabama had to offer
  • Resisted the guns, stinky weed and jorts that Florida had to offer

Weaknesses:

  • Route running

Prediction:

This is another one that King Kiffin stole from Meyer.  Since Tennessee isn’t sponsored by Under Armor that means Teague will not get to wear that idiotic headgear. As a result Teague will transfer to another school that is sponsored by Under Armor, Hawaii.

williams

Toney Williams ****

Position: Fullback

Other schools that offered:

  • Alabama
  • Florida
  • Georgia Tech
  • Kentucky

Strengths:

  • Instincts
  • Power
  • Size
  • Resisted the bags of cash and Jimmy Johns brand of cocaine that Alabama had to offer
  • Resisted the guns, stinky weed and jorts that Florida had to offer

Weaknesses:

  • Smiles
  • Change of direction
  • Cutback ability

Prediction:

Will transfer to Georgia Tech after he realizes that Tennessee doesn’t really have the kind of running backs he wants to block for, the kind that actually like smiling.

Posted in College Football, Go Big Orange, Go Vols, Kiffin, Lane Kiffin, NCAA Rules Violation, Rocky Top, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, Sports, Tennessee Volunteers | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Here’s A Way To Keep Gas Prices Down

Posted by Joel Jackson on July 7, 2008

Everyone is being affected by the high gas prices in our country right now. Our company, like most businesses, is seeing transportation and manufacturing costs rise almost exponentially. The average American is spending more on gas than at any time in our country’s history. Sadly, this trend, according to some analysts, will continue through the end of the year. Currently, Obama and McCain have included plans to help alleviate the energy crisis, and from barbershops to flea markets, everyone has an answer…including me 😉

Yes, even a pagan such as myself has an answer to the gas crunch…

I would not dare suggest that we start drilling on the hallowed grounds of Notre Dame Stadium. But the Fighting Irish, warming up here last year against Navy (which Navy won), is the solution.

According to the World Almanac, in 1973, the average price of a gallon of gas in the U.S. was 51 cents a gallon. Notre Dame won the national title that year. Every year after, the price of gas went up on average of 3 cents a gallon. In 1977, gas was up to 65 cents a gallon. Notre Dame won the national title again. Gas prices did not rise again until 1979. But in 1980, gas went up into the 1 dollar range (right before the Gerry Faust era). When Lou Holtz delivered the Fighting Irish another title in 1986, gas actually went down to 93 cents, down from 1.20. Consequentially, gas prices experienced huge jumps in 1999 (when they were placed on probation under Bob Davie) and also in 2004 (when Ty Willingham was fired).

To me it is simple: We should all root for Notre Dame to win the national title this year. Get them a national TV contract. Continue to have high hopes for them, even if it may seem misguided. Give them a schedule that should guarantee some success. Like the great Paul Hornung said, “Get the black athlete”. Above all, someone in the national media, hell, make it two people in the national media, should stomp for them.

Only then the terrorists won’t win…Touchdown Jesus will…

Posted in ACC, ACC Football, ass chewing, Ass Whipping, BCS, big 10, Big East, big ten, big ten football, boo birds, boosters, Brady Quinn, Charlie Weis, cheaters, College Football, drunk, DUI, football, Football Poll, NCAA, NCAA Rules Violation, NFL Draft, NFL Football, Notre Dame, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, notre dame sucks, Sports, tyrone Willingham, University of Southern Cal | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Mayo Gets Dumped by his Agent

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 23, 2008

How embarrassing is it to be dumped by your agent BEFORE the NBA draft in this coming June? Ask O.J. Mayo he seems to know. Calvin Andrews of Bill Duffy Associates citing “overwhelming intensity” over allegations hat Mayo illegally received cash and gifts.

“Due to the overwhelming intensity of recent allegations regarding the recruitment of O.J. Mayo, we feel that our representation of him is a distraction for he and his family at this time,” the statement said.

“This should be the best time in his life and anything that takes away from that enjoyment and the experience of this process is not fair to him.”

Among the NBA players represented by BDA are Carmelo Anthony, Greg Oden, Steve Nash and Yao Ming.

Never fear though…I’m stepping up to the plate and offering Mayo my services. Instead of the standard 25% commission that other agents require my fees are more suited to benefit him.

They are:

  1. Season sky-box tickets for Tennessee football and basketball games
  2. Mayo must slap Bill Gates for releasing Vista
  3. Mayo must fight Nick Saban in a no-holds barred street fight
  4. One Apple touch screen I-Pod
  5. One Porsche Carrera GT

That’s all I require Mayo. Come on and sign with me.

Remember I still need “bail” money!!! Click here for details.

Posted in cheaters, NBA, NCAA Rules Violation, Nick Saban, University of Southern Cal | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »