Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Posts Tagged ‘Philadelphia Phillies’

Darren Daulton is baseball’s Keith Richards

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 1, 2009

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that Darren Daulton isn’t exactly a saint by any stretch of the imagination, and yes it’s possible he for took in some illegal drug taking during his fourteen years as a professional baseball player. However Daulton wants to set the record straight and let everyone know-he was absolutely high the majority of his year in the majors. 

Daulton appeared on the radio with Philly sports talk host Mike Missanelli, where the two discussed his current charity work, Schilling’s blogging expertise and the mess that Lenny Dykstra is in. The conversation naturally turned towards steroids which turned into drugs in general and that’s when Daulton let us know that he is baseball’s equivalent to Keith Richards. 

If I told you all the drugs that I’ve taken, Mike, you would open that up as a can of worms (laughing). I don’t feel that you or anyone else needs to know anything that I’ve ever done to respect me. No disrespect, that’s just the way I am. I feel if I told you all the drugs I’ve ever taken that would reflect on someone else. I can assure you, there’s probably no one in any sport that has taken more drugs that I have. And I think people still respect me. It’s not what goes in, it’s what comes out. 

Apparently Daulton is still doing these drugs of which he speaks if he thinks people still respect him. 

Actually, a funny part of the interview is when a fan calls in asking how the Phillies—2.5 games up on the rest of the NL East—can “turn it around.” Ah, the genius of sports radio. 

The photo is Daulton minus the mullet he wore for years proving that Rogaine is the one drug he will not take.                                       

Darren Daulton: “I Can Assure You There’s Probably No One In Any Sport That Has Taken More Drugs Than I Have.”[Sports Radio Interviews]

Posted in Darren Daulton, drugs, dumbass, Major League Baseball, Mike Missanelli, MLB, Philadelphia Phillies | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Who has been naughty and who has been nice?

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 24, 2008

In case you didn’t know, we here at YMSWWC.com help Santa out with the naughty and nice list. Of course we’re always nice…Moving on…let’s look at some of our recent selections.

Naughty but we will overlook mitigating circumstances.

Shaun Smith for punching Brady “I’m not gay…oh wait yes I am” Quinn during an altercation in the weight room. At first I was thinking what the hell do they believe this is Oz or something…if so Quinn would be the bitch.

Smith is a former South Carolina player who played under Lispy Lou Holtz…we’re overlooking the Brady beat-down because, well, we hate Brady Quinn.

Nice.

The new Philadelphia Phillies ball girls, hard to believe they actually had to take a written test for this gig.

“No one mentioned any beauty pageant experience, though other applicants did. “A lot of them think it is a beauty competition and it really is not,” DeVicaris said.”

As soon as I heard it was in Philadelphia the thought of beauty never entered my mind.

Naughty and God what a way to ruin an appetite.

David Hasselhoff got to sing the National Anthem at this past Saturday’s Las Vegas bowl. Decent game from what I heard I was to busy watching Dallas lose the final game ever to played at Texas Stadium. Dallas = failboats.

Of course we have the video…if we have to suffer then so should you.

Wow…hella nice

The Irwin Academic Services Center at the University of Illinois. Of course only jocks can use it.

“These athletic tutoring palaces perpetuate resentment and stereotyping on campus,” said Allen Sack, a University of New Haven professor who played football for the University of Notre Dame and has become a critic of what he sees as the corrosive effect of sports on university life.

“A student who is not an athlete will say: ‘I’m working nights to get through school, why don’t I get free tutoring?’ ” Sack said. “That the athletes do perpetuates the image of a dumb jock who couldn’t get through school without special help.”

I see the point. After spending all that booster money on PS3 games, who has anything left over to afford a tutor?

Once the nerds start bringing in millions of revenue in for the University they can start using the academic centers. *Sarcasm*

Here is my gift to you readers: A how to DIY instruction video on how to build a Christmas tree entirely out of beer bottles. It’s worth watching.

Merry Christmas…bitches.

Posted in Beer, Brady Quinn, David Hasselhoff, Illinois Fighting Illini, Philadelphia Phillies | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The weekending rundown Friday PM Edition

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 10, 2008

Phillies take game 1 in the NLCS

Here are some “snarky” comments about stories I didn’t have the time to follow up on and funny photos I doubt I’ll ever use.

Accusations are flying that the ProElite fight between Kimbo Slice & Seth Petruzelli was fixed because of this comment by Petruzelli.

“The promoters kind of hinted to me and they gave me the money to stand and trade with him,” Petruzelli said on “The Monsters in Orlando” show. “They didn’t want me to take him down, let’s just put it that way. It was worth my while to try to stand up and punch with him.”

But another big story regarding this past Saturday’s “fight” is the claim that Slice’s entourage threatened Petruzelli’s wife.

A Petruzelli interview with Sam Caplan includes the following exchange:

Sam Caplan: Can you talk about the aftermath? That was a pretty crazy scene around the cage with Kimbo’s crew. At any point were you concerned for your safety?

Seth Petruzelli: Oh yeah, 100 percent. Afterwards, and I didn’t know it at the time, buy my wife had got threatened a few times. My corner had got threatened a few times. I had stuff thrown at me from the crowd. As soon as I had got done circling and screaming, the athletic commission told me I had to calm down because the crowd was getting crazy. So I calmed down and said listen, “You’ve got to get me out of here.” And I kind of started to get worried about my well-being at that point (laughs).

Sam Caplan: Did the threats against your wife and your corner come from Kimbo’s fans or his corner?

Seth Petruzelli: It was some of his posse that was around the cage. Not all of them were like that but there were a few that were talking some crap that I wasn’t very happy about.

Sam Caplan: (Laughs) Do you have any idea what they possibly could have been mad at you about aside from doing your job?

Seth Petruzelli: I have no idea. I heard this one kid, he kept saying “You cheated! You cheated! You cheated!” (Laughs) And I’m like, how the hell did I cheat!? I mean, what are you talking about!?

In the photo above is Slice’s son reacting to the fact this dad got beaten by a man with pink hair.

Shocking confessions: Chad Ocho Cinco admits that he kissed coach Marvin Lewis during the Dallas game. No tongue, apparently but Brady Quinn makes mental note for next season. [NBCSports]

Mark Mangino to the Kansas student and fans: “Please quit quoting lines from the Waterboy during the games. I really hate Rob Scneider. I’d offer up an alternative Rob Scneider movie quote here but that would require having viewed a Rob Schneider movie.

In case you missed it. There a website dedicated to the hiring of Will Muschamp as the next head coach for the University of Tennessee.

In case you didn’t know…cause I sure as shit didn’t…but the boss of F1 racing is Bernie Ecclestone. His incredibly hot daughter Tamara posed for PETA’s “I would rather go naked than wear fur” campaign. I can’t remember the last time I saw someone wearing a fur coat, but I’m all for hot girls posing to protest them. Or protest anything, for that matter. More images here.

Mr. Met is sick & damn tired of these meltdowns at the end of the season...takes his frustration out on the Mets faithful.

Mr. Met is sick & damn tired of these meltdowns at the end of the season...takes his frustration out on the Mets faithful.

Just to continue bashing the Cubs here’s the Top 10 Teams to Root For Instead of the Cubs. [Top Ten Chicago]

Just what the world needs in this time of financial crisis…A Brett F*vr* coin. Finally – we’ve found a worse investment than the DOW! Is this the same company that makes the “Adam Jones Garbage Bag o’ Ones” Collection?

Posted in Brett Favre, Checker Flag, Cincinnati Bengals, Formula One, kansas jayhawks, Kimbo Slice, MMA, New York Mets, Philadelphia Phillies, Seth Petruzelli, tamara ecclestone | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Mitch Williams wants to Cuss Around Your Kids

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 12, 2008

Whenever Williams was on the mound, his nervous teammate Curt Schilling was caught by CBS television cameras burying his face in a towel. Schilling’s behavior not only irked Mitch Williams (who, to this day, harbors bitter feelings towards Schilling), but also fellow Phillies teammates like Larry Andersen and Danny Jackson, who (on the Top 5 Reasons You Can’t Blame… episode about Mitch Williams) accused Schilling of purposely trying to get more camera time. Of course Schilling has two rings Williams does not. Go figure.

Now the former MLB pitcher Mitch Williams not only revels in the fact he is the reason the Phillies lost the 1993 World Series by lobbing a ball to Joe Carter, but also wants to curse around kids.

Whenever Williams isn’t hocking his salsa he is enlightening nuns and kids to the wonderful world of four letter words. The former Phillies hurler cursed at a female referee who was calling a basketball game in which his daughter, a fifth-grader, was playing for St. Mary of the Lakes against Our Lady of Good Counsel.

Williams has admitted to being sorry that he used the f-word while yelling at the ref. “I’m emotional when it comes to my kids. What I saw happening was completely unfair,” Williams said, referring to his daughter’s team being fouled repeatedly with a lack of calls from the refs. He then added that he thinks the uglier of the nuns are a bunch of c-words like the refs.

The apology isn’t doing much for Ron Martin, who oversees referees as the Camden Board 34 independent assigner. He said yesterday that he called St. Mary of the Lakes to say that although the season ended last night, if Williams “is going to appear at any games next year, we will not officiate them. If he enters the gym in the middle of a game, we will stop officiating.” Martin is executive editor of the Burlington County Times.

“A lot of people challenge calls, but when someone hits on one of the magic words, we can’t tolerate that stuff,” he said. Martin said Williams’ outburst is “not indicative of St. Mary’s athletic program. There are some great people over there,” he said. The 33-year-old female referee declined comment yesterday.

Mitch shouldn’t mess with the refs especially when they’re the press as well. The next leg of the 2008 “Curse like a Sailor or a Former Relief Pitcher Tour” will feature Williams cursing out the homeless of Philadelphia, the Pope & orphans.


This moment was brought to you by Mitch Williams.

Posted in dumbass, MLB, Philadelphia Phillies, potty mouth | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »