Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Posts Tagged ‘Ron Zook’

The rise of King Kiffin on Twitter

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 21, 2009

TweeterKiffin

Now that Lane Kiffin has proven that either he or his staff will use any kind of technology to get him and the school in trouble, I’ve taken drastic measures and I’ve taken his Twitter privileges away. From here on out if he feels the need to twitter then he has to go through me and I’ll post it under the name King Kiffin.

I’ve actually been doing this for a couple of weeks because his 140 Twitters are extremely boring. (Watching game film.) Mine will be funnier and there won’t be some dumb ass assistant writing them. Personally I would like to see Layla register for a Twitter account.

I keep expecting to see something like this on Lane’s ramblings:

Got up this morning, got caught violating NCAA rules again. Caught wife in bed with Bruce Pearl.

Or this:

LaneKiffinUT@BrucePearl: LOL I Kno! Why do they call us the Volunteers if we get paid, right? g2g, don’t tell Pat about my twitter account! ROTFL!

I picture Kiffin being wheeled away from Knoxville, strapped down to a hand truck, with a mask over his face to prevent him talking.

Somewhere in a dark chamber Al Davis is laughing maniacally. And as soon as someone finds him, changes his soiled britches, brings him back upstairs and tells him about this he’ll laugh even harder.

So if want to start follow King Kiffin on Twitter feel free to if all else fails it will at least be funnier than Ron Zook’s babblings.

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Posted in dumbass, King Kiffin, Lane Kiffin, Layla Kiffin, NCAA Rules Violation, Ron Zook, SEC Coaches, Tennessee Volunteers, Twitter, Zooker | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

College Football Week 12 is in the books & here’s what I learned

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 16, 2008

minnisotagirls

Let’s be honest. Yesterday offered a plethora of crappy games. On the bright side my beloved VOLS didn’t lose, of course they didn’t play but that’s not the point.

Clemson light Duke up. One more win and they’re bowl eligible.

Will Ron Zook be asked to step down after losing yet another game?

Look out Notre Dame is now bowl eligible even though Navy had a chance to win it in the end. Charles Weis really needs to look into doing some push-ups.

Georgia and the penalties they accrue almost cost them the game against Auburn.

chompFlorida hammered South Carolina which is absolutely hilarious to me. Living in Columbia you should have heard all the things the Cock fans were saying. Deuce Staley actually said on his weekly radio talk show, “Carolina’s defense can match up with anyone’s speed in the country.” Really Deuce? You couldn’t tell from their performance yesterday.

I continuously laugh when I watch TV ads for other schools. And then a Florida ad comes on. “Go Gators. Go cure cancer.” Oh, that seems pretty simple. Tebow will take care of that in between circumcisions this off-season.

Does anyone really want to win the ACC?

Miami should be thanking Maryland for beating North Carolina.

Wisconsin discovered something called a forward pass and beat Minnesota with it.

Has anyone noticed that Nebraska is bowl eligible yet?

Missouri wins the Big 12 North…yes people that still exists.

Florida State couldn’t control penalties & Boston College’s running game at the same time.

It can be said: Vandy is bowl eligible. Kentucky might have been still mourning the humiliating loss the basketball received at the hands of VMI the night before.

Washington is still winless go figure.

Houston doesn’t have a problem as they rack up 70 points against Tulsa.

LSU almost embarrassed themselves and the SEC yesterday.

Michigan endures their first 8 loss season ever. I’m sure they’re glad they hired Rich Rodriguez now.

Posted in ACC Football, Auburn, big ten football, Big Twelve Football, boston college, Clemson Tigers, Coach Rich Rodriguez, Duke Blue Devils, Florida Gators, Florida State Seminoles, Georgia Bulldogs, Houston Cougars, jorts, Kentucky Wildcats, LSU Tigers, Miami hurricanes, Michigan Wolverines, Minnesota Gophers, Missouri Tigers, Nebraska Cornhuskers, North Carolina Tarheels, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, notre dame sucks, ohio state buckeyes, Old Ball Sack Coach, Pac 10 football, Ron Zook, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Tebow, Tennessee Volunteers, Tommy Tuberville, Uga, Univeristy of Troy, Urban Meyer, Vanderbilt Commodores, vandy, Washington Huskies, Wisconsin Badgers, Zooker | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Revelations After a Saturdays Worth of Football Week 11

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 11, 2007

#1 tOSU falls, more chaos for the BCS. This is the best college football season ever!

I’ve already said my piece about Ohio State, but Ron Zook might the Big Eveleen Ten coach of the year.

If Kansas wins out they will play for the national championship. The game against Missouri looms larger than the Kansas coach.

Boston College proves why they were over ranked.

Mark Richt is pumping up the crowd on the sidelines, getting the black jerseys for his players…he’s finally coming out of his shell. No team wants to play Georgia right now. Ask Auburn.

Virginia Tech might be better than what some of us thought.

Welcome back to realty Michigan, however you still have a chance of beating tOSU next week.

Ha Ha Ha Uconn got beat, another Big Least team has their BCS dreams crushed.

South Carolina went from ranked 6 in the country to a joke during their four game losing streak.

It doesn’t matter how many point Nebraska scored against K-State, Callahan is a goner.

NC State is slowly and quietly becoming bowl eligible.

Notice how the Gamecock fans were gone by the middle of the 4th quarter? Yep the old USC is back. 🙂

The old Cal team is back is well.

For the last game played in the Orange Bowl, one would think Miami would at least put up a fight.

The offense of Clemson is playing as well anyone in the nation.

Kentucky denies Vandy a chance to be bowl eligible. By the way I got a lot of grief from Kentucky fans over this post. So even though the embarrassing lose to Gardner-Webb isn’t football related, all I can say is: Ha ha ha your team really sucks. 🙂

Service Academies 2 Notre Dame 0.

And finally Joel is writing an in-depth piece on Coach Croom. But all I have to say is this:


Others have been fired because of this.

So I profess on this day 11/11/07.

TtT

 

Posted in Alabama Crimson Tide, Auburn, Bama Sucks, big ten football, Big Twelve Football, Cal, Clemson Tigers, Croom, Fighting Illini, Florida State Seminoles, Fuck Bama, Georgia Bulldogs, Illinois Fighting Illini, K-State, kansas jayhawks, Kansas State Wildcats, Kentucky Wildcats, Lloyd Carr, mark richt, Maryland, Miami hurricanes, Michigan Wolverines, mississippi state bulldogs, Missouri Tigers, moral victories, NC State Wolfpack, Nebraska Cornhuskers, North Carolina Tarheels, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, notre dame sucks, ohio state buckeyes, Ron Zook, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Texas A&M, Uconn, Uga, USC, Vanderbilt, vandy, Zooker | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Ohio State Gets Juiced, by SEC Speed in the Big Ten

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 11, 2007

Jim Tressel must come back to reality now. After being nut-punched by Florida in the 2006 championship game, Ron Zook brought his Illinois team, or as I like to call them, the mini Gators, to the Horseshoe to show Jim Tressel that the speed of the SEC even rules in Big Eleven Ten play.

Juice Williams made some big plays on the ground and through the air, guiding Illinois to a stunning 28-21 using SEC speed and mucking up the national title race yet again this season.

It was the first time Illinois has ever beaten a No. 1 team. The defeat also ended a record streak of 20 Big Ten wins in a row by Ohio State.

The Illini rushed for 260 yards against an Ohio State defense that came in allowing just 65 yards on the ground per game. So much for that vaunted number 1 rated defense huh?

Not since Nov. 14, 1959, had Michigan and Ohio State both lost the week before their annual year-end game that will once again decide the Big Eleven Ten champion.

GAME SUMMARY

ILLINOIS STATISTICS OHIO ST
21 First Downs 18
13 Rushing 13
8 Passing 5
0 Penalty 0
50% (8 of 16) Third Down Efficiency 39% (5 of 13)
100% (2 of 2) Fourth Down Efficiency 100% (2 of 2)
406 Total Net Yards 339
73 Total Offensive Plays 60
5.6 Average Gain Per Play 5.7
265 Net Yards Rushing 184
50 Rushing Attempts 35
5.3 Average gain per rush 5.3
141 NET YARDS PASSING 155
12-22 Completions-Attempts 13-23
6.1 Net yards per pass play 6.2
1-3 Times sacked: Number-Yards 2-13
0 Had intercepted 3
6-228 PUNTS: Number-Yards 4-174
38.0 Punting Average 43.5
49 TOTAL RETURN YARDAGE 96
1–2 Punt Returns: Number-Yards 4-23
3-51 Kickoff Returns: Number-Yards 5-73
3-0 INT Returns: Number-Yards 0-0
1-10 PENALTIES: Number-Yards 2-10
0-0 FUMBLES: Number-Lost 1-0

Somewhere Albert the gator is laughing right now.

So I profess on this day 11/11/07.

TtT

Posted in Illinois Fighting Illini, Jim Tressel, Michigan Wolverines, ohio state buckeyes, Ron Zook, SEC Speed, Zooker | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »