Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Posts Tagged ‘SEC Speed’

Big Orange Roundtable Volume XIII Hey Look Ma We Have a QB Edition

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 8, 2008

Like the annoying little girl in Poltergeist said “They’re back!” That’s’ right people the Big Orange Roundtable is back after a weeks absence. Did you miss us? Of course you did.

This week the roundtable is being hosted by the 3rd Saturday in Blogtober. Without further adieu let’s go to the roundtable. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Big Orange, Britton Colquitt, cromptonites, fire philip fulmer, Go Vols, Nick Stephens, Phillip Fulmer, SEC Football, SEC Speed, Tennessee Volunteers, The Big Orange Roundtable | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

The SEC Is Better Than The Big 10

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on August 19, 2008

This video cracks me up.

With lyrics like:

I’d rather watch the Southern Belles dressed in Kentucky blue,
Than to watch some Wolverines who look like men,
I know it’s rather obvious and probably nothing new,
But the SEC is better than the Big 10

How could you go wrong?

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Posted in big ten football, SEC, SEC Football, SEC Speed | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

The Big Orange Round Table Vol. II

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on July 14, 2008

The Big Orange Roundtable this week is open & this weeks host is the Power T. Last week, 3rd Saturday in Blogtober hosted the questions, so check those out if you haven’t already. Here are this weeks question and my answers. Keep checking back because once other Big Orange Roundtable members post their answers I’ll post the links to them.

1. A position of strength for the Vols this fall should be wide receivers. Which 2 guys will emerge from the pack to start the opener against UCLA alongside Lucas Taylor? Why?

I would say number one would be Gerald Jones. Jones is a plethora of talent that can play. Remember the G-Gun he ran last year, which was very successful including two touchdowns plus he also had that huge catch in the Kentucky game last year that helped propel the Vols into overtime which led to another KY loss.

The second one would be Josh Briscoe. He simply brings hell with him everywhere he goes not to mention good hands

2. Which game on the schedule do you, as a fan, needs Tennessee to win for your own sanity and happiness? Why?

Alabama. I hate them. The only good Alabama team is a beaten Alabama team. I want the aisles of Neyland to be flowing with the sweet tears of defeat by the Bama faithful who attend. I will take those tears and make me a Martini and I don’t even drink! Look even Taylor Hicks hates them.

3. What are your thoughts on the 8-win clause in Coach Fulmer’s new contract that automatically rolls his contract over another year if he wins 8 games in a season?

It’s absolutely horrible. I feel like Mike Hamilton is settling for mediocrity from the get go.

4. What is your favorite gameday recipe, whether for tailgating or in your own kitchen? Explain why in delicious detail.

I don’t cook so it’s called “Megan I need game food now BITCH” (I’m joking sweetie!)

It’s official I’m in trouble for that remark.

5. You have a tag team championship match against the Legion of Doom coming up. Which current Volunteer do you choose as your tag team partner? Why?

I pick Prentiss Waggner. He was a member of this years recruiting class. When I was breaking down this class I predicted he would serve 20-25 Armed robbery and aggravated assault Bottom line Hawk gets capped and Animal has his spikes stolen and this all occurs before the match begins in the locker-room area.

See these members of the Big Orange Roundtable for their responses:

Posted in Big Orange, Go Vols, SEC, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, SEC Speed, Tennessee Volunteers, The Big Orange Roundtable | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 10 Comments »

One Former Hawaii Warrior Has Gone Crazy.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 27, 2008

It was bound to happen. A former University of Hawaii football player named Lene Amosa has quite possibly lost it. In a whine & cry session letter sent to the editor of “The Hawaiian Advertiser” Amosa states he’s tired of hearing about how his team was beaten like a red headed stepchild on National Beat a Red Headed Stepchild day. You would think he should know the truth since June Jones left Hawaii to coach SMU, after all SMU doesn’t have to play Florida next year.

As a former player, I’m tired of hearing fans and the media say that we were overmatched by bigger, faster, stronger players.

(Spoken in a Jack Nicholson impersonation)

Amosa you might be tired of hearing the truth because you can’t handle the truth!! We live in a world dominated by college football. And college football is played by men with speed and power. Who’s going to play like that? You? Your Hawaii Warriors? The teams of the SEC have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for the weaker conferences while cursing the SEC. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: That Hawaii’s demise in the Sugar Bowl, while tragic, probably helps recruit six additional 5 star prospects to SEC schools. And while the SEC’s existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, wins championships. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want a SEC winner, you need a SEC winner. SEC fans use words like domination, tradition & BCS rankings…we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something, than something is our SEC heritage and our teams pride. We also use those words to remind weaker and meek conferences just who the top conference is. Plus it’s fun to make fun of other teams. 🙂

Georgia got lucky, and I say that from a player’s point of view. We gave up big plays, which at the end killed us.

Lucky? Lucky? OK, now you’re just delusional and in need of some therapy and an old fashion SEC ass kicking. AGAIN!!

Posted in Ass Whipping, crazy, Georgia Bulldogs, Hawaii Warriors, Lene Amosa, SEC, SEC Football, SEC Speed | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 11 Comments »

Cedrick Wilson Likes His Women Crazy

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 22, 2008

Ok maybe not this crazy…then again…..

Pittsburgh Steelers and former University of Tennessee wide receiver Cedrick Wilson like his women on the crazy side. No, not the schizophrenic Herschel Walker type of crazy but another like of crazy all together. Cedrick likes his women in the 12 stand off with the Po Po crazy. Story.

Apparently sometime Saturday morning Wilson and his girlfriend, Lindsey Paulat got in to a lovers quarrel. Around noon Wilson left the whole situation and her mother decided to talk to her hoping (I’m sure) to make things better. That’s when things got a little crazy.

While there with her mommy, Paulat took one of Wilson’s handguns and shot two holes in Wilson’s walls. The mother realizing what a psychotic bitch she raised decided it was time to leave and promptly called the Po Po.

What could have Wilson done to make his girlfriend act in such a manner? The Po Po arrive and after making contact with her and seeing just how crazy she is, they thought it would be best to evacuate some 70 neighbors. Damn!! She must have found Wilson’s “University of South Carolina” model handgun & his “University of Florida” model AK-47 for them to take that type of measure.

While no details as what (if anything) Wilson might have done to make his girlfriend act so irrational, has been released, I have my own theories about that.

Theory #1

Wilson was truthful to her. See the below example.

G/F Does this make me look fat?

C/W No honey, it makes you look fatter than normal.

Theory #2

Wilson comes to terms with the progress of the relationship. See the below example.

G/F When are we getting married.

C/W A half past never.

G/F Motherfucker! You TOLD me we were getting married after the season! I’ll cut your balls off.

C/W Shit got to run; I’m calling your mom for protection.

So let this be a lesson to all males out there. It’s ok to tell them white lies. It’s ok to ask for help when dealing with crazy females. And NEVER, NEVER piss off your girlfriend with a loaded firearm in immediate vicinity. However when and if she’s released I bet the make sex will be great.

Nothing like jealous women you’ve got to love them….well until they take your gun and shoot up your house. Even then he got off lighter than Andre Rison did.

Posted in court tv, crazy, Crazy Women, Crime & Punishment, Pittsburgh Steelers, SEC Speed, Tennessee Volunteers | Tagged: , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Ohio State & the Big 10 are Becoming a Big Joke

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on January 8, 2008

Another championship game, another disappointment for Ohio State and the Big Eleven 10. What makes the SEC so special to its fans and so dominate verses to teams outside the SEC? It’s simple really and to explain it I’ll quote Eleanor Roosevelt “America is all about speed. Hot, nasty, badass speed” and that’s what SEC is about speed.

Don’t believe me? Did you watch the game last night? Ohio (we fucking lost 3 national championship games in a row) State know exactly what I’m writing about. LSU spotted them 10 points before rolling off 31 points unanswered. The final score doesn’t indicate just how bad Ohio State was beaten last night. After all Ohio State is 0-9 verses SEC teams in bowls for a good reason.

To make matters worse this bowl season proves that the BCS doesn’t work. Ohio State had no business being there in the title game. Look at the some of the teams they played to get there.

Youngstown State
Kent State

WTF? The highest rated team they played was a very overrated Purdue team and they were like rated 22. The scary thing is I believe Georgia is actually faster than LSU. The SEC will continue to get stronger while the Big Eleven 10 will continue to get weaker.

Just how weak is the Big Eleven 10? Here’s the final Jeff Sagarintm rankings by conference as an example.

2 PAC-10
3 BIG 12

Wait the ACC is ranked higher? Bahahahahaha. That’s mortifying. No wonder Ohio State students decided to try and torch their own town after getting their asses handed to them. One would think another buckeye helmet sticker would make them feel better.

I believe the Georgia president was right when he said this:

“I believe the season is already too long and demands too much of athletes and the universities that serve them,” Adams said at a news conference. “But this year’s experience with the BCS forces me to the conclusion that the current system has lost public confidence and simply does not work.”

No shit. Even though it’s brave of you to state that and send it in a letter, but seriously the fans have been saying that for years. (I had the video from but for some reason it wouldn’t work on this site)

This I proclaim on 1/8/08.


Posted in big ten football, Georgia Bulldogs, Les Miles, LSU Tigers, ohio state buckeyes, riots, SEC Football, SEC Speed | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 11 Comments »

Fresh Off the Press YMSWWC’S 2007 Bowl Guide

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 7, 2007

Fresh off the presses and in time to call your bookie, here are mine and Joel’s bowl picks.

    Dec. 20, 9 p.m. (ESPN) Utah (8-4) vs. Navy (8-4)
  • Joel: Navy-Always gotta pick a Service Academy out of respect
  • Me: Navy-Because they beat Notre Dame, UCLA can’t say that
  • NEW ORLEANS BOWL New Orleans
    Dec. 21, 8 p.m. (ESPN2) Florida Atlantic (7-5) vs. Memphis (7-5)
  • Joel: Memphis-Total homer pick
  • Me: Florida-Atlantic because I hate Tommy West
  • PAPAJOHNS.COM BOWL Birmingham, Ala.
  • Dec. 22, 1 p.m. (ESPN2) Cincinnati (9-3) vs. Southern Miss (7-5)
  • Joel: Cincinnati-Brett Favre ain’t walking through that door for Southern Miss
  • Me: Cincinnati -One of the Big Least teams has to win
  • NEW MEXICO BOWL Albuquerque, N.M.
    Dec. 22, 4:30 p.m. (ESPN) New Mexico (8-4) vs. Nevada (6-6)
  • Joel: New Mexico-I got nothing for New Mexico
  • Me: Honestly I could care less who ever Jol picked
  • LAS VEGAS BOWL Las Vegas
    Dec. 22, 8 p.m. (ESPN) BYU (10-2) vs. UCLA (6-6)
  • Joel: BYU-The Fightin’ Polygamists
  • Me: BYU- UCLA has no coach and Big Love is a good show
  • HAWAII BOWL Honolulu, Hawaii
    Dec. 23, 8 p.m. (ESPN) East Carolina (7-5) vs. Boise State (10-2)
  • Joel: Boise St.-Please not another cheerleader proposal
  • Me: East Carolina-Why?Who the hell knows
  • MOTOR CITY Detroit
    Dec. 26, 7:30 p.m. (ESPN) Central Michigan (8-5) vs. Purdue (7-5)
  • Joel: Central Michigan-Why is Joe Tiller still a coach???
  • Me: Purdue-Because Joe Tiller is the God of mediocre coaches.
  • HOLIDAY BOWL San Diego
    Dec. 27, 8 p.m. (ESPN) Arizona State (10-2) vs. Texas (9-3)
  • Joel: Texas-Longhorns returns to their San Diego winter home & I get to hear them bitch about it. I should pick against them
  • Me: Texas-ASU has shown me nothing and their coach is a douche.
  • CHAMPS SPORTS BOWL Orlando, Fla.
    Dec. 28, 5 p.m. (ESPN) Boston College (10-3) vs. Michigan State (7-5)
  • Joel: Boston College-The Spartans have broken my heart & bank account too many times over the years
  • Me: BC-Michigan State sucks
  • TEXAS BOWL Houston
    Dec. 28, 8 p.m. (NFL Network) TCU (7-5) vs. Houston (8-4)
  • Joel: TCU-Houston has no coach because Art Briles took the death sentence…I mean Baylor job…
  • Me: TCU-Coolest Mascot name “The Horny Toads”
  • EMERALD BOWL San Francisco
    Dec. 28, 8:30 p.m. (ESPN) Maryland (6-6) vs. Oregon State (8-4)
  • Joel: Oregon St.-Love the nickname “Beavers”, as in plural. Just keep the gay rams away
  • Me: Maryland-Fattie Ralph always wins these types of games
    Dec. 29, 1 p.m. (ESPN) UConn (9-3) vs. Wake Forest (8-4)
  • Joel: Wake Forest-In a battle of Dunkin Donuts (UConn) vs. Krispy Kremes (WF), gotta go with the Southern favorite
  • Me: Wake Forest-because they’re playing a Big Least team
  • LIBERTY BOWL Memphis, Tenn.
    Dec. 29, 4:30 p.m. (ESPN) Mississippi State (7-5) vs. UCF (10-3)
  • Joel: Miss. St-More Cowbell
  • Me: Miss State-Let the Crooming begin!
  • ALAMO BOWL San Antonio
    Dec. 29, 8 p.m. (ESPN) Penn State (8-4) vs. Texas A&M (7-5)
  • Joel: Penn St.-Does JoePa realize he is GREATLY overpaid???
  • Me: Penn St.-Texas A&M’s newest coach is to busy being an assistant for a losing NFL team.
  • INDEPENDENCE BOWL Shreveport, La.
  • Dec. 30, 8 p.m. (ESPN) Colorado (6-6) vs. Alabama (6-6)
  • Joel: Colorado-Alabama won’t be beaten by the Fightin Nutria of Louisiana-Monroe, but they can eat some in Shreveport. Nothin’ says luvin’ like nutria in the oven
  • Me: This is bullshit!!! Joel & I had a rock, paper, scissors contest. The winner got to choose Colorado. He cheated so I’m forced to pick Alabama.
  • ARMED FORCES BOWL Fort Worth, Texas
  • Dec. 31, 12:30 p.m. (ESPN) Cal (6-6) vs. Air Force (9-3)
  • Joel: Air Force-A motivated serviceman vs. an unmotivated hippie??? Gee, I wonder who to pick
  • Me: Air Force-Because Cal seems to be the South Carolina of the PAC 10. (snicker)
  • SUN BOWL El Paso, Texas
    Dec. 31, 2 p.m.(ESPN) USF (9-3) vs. Oregon (8-4)
  • Joel: South Florida-Which team is worse right now???
  • Me: Oregon-Ryan Leaf’s younger brother is playing well, making Ryan look less douche like.
    Dec. 31, 2 p.m. (ESPN2) Fresno State (8-4) vs. Georgia Tech (7-5)
  • Joel: Fresno St.-Love the Bulldogs coach Craig Stadler, I mean Paul Teutel, I mean Pat Hill. Has one man reminded you of so many???
  • Me: Fresno St-The only conference that is as bad as the Big Least is the ACC. And GT is coach-less. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in ACC Football, Air Force, Alabama Crimson Tide, Arizona State Sundevils, Arkansas Razorbacks, Auburn, Bama Sucks, Big Orange, big ten football, Big Twelve Football, Boise State, boston college, BYU, Central Michigan, Cincinnati, Clemson Tigers, Colorado Buffalos, Croom, East Carolina, ESPN, Florida Atlantic, Florida Gators, Florida State Seminoles, Florida Sucks, Fresno State, FSU, Georgia Bulldogs, Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, Hawaii Warriors, houston, Illinois Fighting Illini, Indiana Hoosiers, Joe Pa, kansas jayhawks, Kentucky Wildcats, LSU Tigers, Maryland, Mascots, Memphis Tigers, Michigan State Spartons, Michigan Wolverines, Mike Gundy, mississippi state bulldogs, Missouri Tigers, Navy, Nevada, New Mexico Lobos, ohio state buckeyes, Oklahoma sooners, Oklahoma State Cowboys, Oregon Ducks, Oregon State Beavers, Pac 10, Penn State Nittany Lions, Purdue, Rocky Top, Rutgers, SEC Football, SEC Speed, South Florida Bulls, southern cal, southern miss, Tennessee Volunteers, Texas A&M, Texas Christian, Texas Longhorns, Texas Tech Red Raiders, ucf, UCLA, Uconn, Uga, University of California berkeley, University of Southern Cal, USC, UT vols, Utah Utes, Virginia Cavaliers, Wake Forest, War Eagle, West Virginia Mountaineers, whiners, white trash, Wisconsin Badgers, WVU | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Tennessee’s Defense is the Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde of the SEC

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 11, 2007

The task was daunting and everyone, including myself, expected a different outcome than what transpired yesterday when the John Chavis coached defense of Tennessee shut down the Arkansas tailbacks Darren McFadden, Felix Jones and the SEC’s most powerful and productive running attack.

Last week McFadden tied an SEC record of 321 rushing yards against South Carolina, yesterday he gained only 117.

This same defense made John Saran Jessica Parker Wilson look like a Heisman contender, and made Cory “I’m the most over rated running back in SEC history” Boyd look like Emmitt Smith. Fulmer was almost Croomed because of the defense.

Webster’s dictionary defines schizophrenia as:

A psychotic disorder characterized by loss of contact with the environment, by noticeable deterioration in the level of functioning in everyday life.

Plug in the words “The 2007 Tennessee defense” in there as well.

“I don’t want this to come off wrong because I’ve got a tremendous amount of respect for Arkansas. They’ve got a fine football team,” defensive coordinator John Chavis said. “But I felt and we felt as a coaching staff that if we got lined up, they’d have a tough time moving the football on us.”

True, they did. It’s a shame the defense couldn’t or didn’t play this way every game. We might only have one loss on the season to Florida.

“I mentioned this last week, it’s probably not a defense that will go down in Tennessee history, because we’ve had our struggles,” Chavis said. “But it’s a team, a defensive football team, that’s gotten better each week. We’ve had some tough times, but we’ve gotten better each week.”

No, actually you haven’t gotten better. The defense has had serious meltdowns and thankfully yesterday they didn’t meltdown. But getting better means playing consistently, and hopefully they will the rest of year or you’ll be fired.

Also this performance comes shortly a letter from the “Tennessee Football Letterman” was run in the form of an ad in Friday’s News Sentinel newspaper. Click here to see the add. (Adobe Acrobat is required)

One paragraph that stands out in that is this:

“Don’t misunderstand us; the seriousness of the consequences has nothing to do with the possibility of Phillip Fulmer losing a job.”

Cough BS Cough. I question if all those signatures are truly on that letter, but that’s just me. But one thing is for sure, if these players know what they speak of – then why are there so many off field issues and on field shortfalls? If Fulmer was doing a good job there would be no need for players begging. Hopefully Phil can take this momentum all the way to the SEC championship game.

So I profess on this day 11/11/07.


Posted in Arkansas Razorbacks, Big Orange, fire philip fulmer, fulmer sucks, Go Vols, Houston Nutt, Phillip Fulmer, SEC Coaches, SEC Football, SEC Speed, Tennessee Volunteers, upsets, UT vols | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments »

Ohio State Gets Juiced, by SEC Speed in the Big Ten

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 11, 2007

Jim Tressel must come back to reality now. After being nut-punched by Florida in the 2006 championship game, Ron Zook brought his Illinois team, or as I like to call them, the mini Gators, to the Horseshoe to show Jim Tressel that the speed of the SEC even rules in Big Eleven Ten play.

Juice Williams made some big plays on the ground and through the air, guiding Illinois to a stunning 28-21 using SEC speed and mucking up the national title race yet again this season.

It was the first time Illinois has ever beaten a No. 1 team. The defeat also ended a record streak of 20 Big Ten wins in a row by Ohio State.

The Illini rushed for 260 yards against an Ohio State defense that came in allowing just 65 yards on the ground per game. So much for that vaunted number 1 rated defense huh?

Not since Nov. 14, 1959, had Michigan and Ohio State both lost the week before their annual year-end game that will once again decide the Big Eleven Ten champion.


21 First Downs 18
13 Rushing 13
8 Passing 5
0 Penalty 0
50% (8 of 16) Third Down Efficiency 39% (5 of 13)
100% (2 of 2) Fourth Down Efficiency 100% (2 of 2)
406 Total Net Yards 339
73 Total Offensive Plays 60
5.6 Average Gain Per Play 5.7
265 Net Yards Rushing 184
50 Rushing Attempts 35
5.3 Average gain per rush 5.3
12-22 Completions-Attempts 13-23
6.1 Net yards per pass play 6.2
1-3 Times sacked: Number-Yards 2-13
0 Had intercepted 3
6-228 PUNTS: Number-Yards 4-174
38.0 Punting Average 43.5
1–2 Punt Returns: Number-Yards 4-23
3-51 Kickoff Returns: Number-Yards 5-73
3-0 INT Returns: Number-Yards 0-0
1-10 PENALTIES: Number-Yards 2-10
0-0 FUMBLES: Number-Lost 1-0

Somewhere Albert the gator is laughing right now.

So I profess on this day 11/11/07.


Posted in Illinois Fighting Illini, Jim Tressel, Michigan Wolverines, ohio state buckeyes, Ron Zook, SEC Speed, Zooker | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »