Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Posts Tagged ‘steroids’

Happy Birthday to me! Now can anyone shut Roger Clemens up?

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 13, 2009

BS

Well today is my birthday and I have found something else to add to my b-day wish list of one redhead with super model qualities, after hearing that farce of an interview with Roger Clemens yesterday on the Mike and Mike show I also want a copy of “American Icon.” 

The authors of this book should send Clemens a fruit basket of something because of his poor performance during this interview sales of the of the book probably went up by 10%. Hell no one knew it was even coming out until this interview. 

This interview was predictably a PR move orchestrated by Team Clemens. The 20 minute interview with Clemen’s newest “crisis manager” Gene Grabowski that occurred before the Rocket came on the air more than proved that. Greenberg and Golic asked Grabowski, given all the evidence against Clemens, how he knows he’s telling the truth? 

“I looked him in the eye,” the Crisis Manager said. 

OK that’s it for me I believe him even though I’m sure he was paid six figures to say that. 

On McNamee: He “never injected me with HGH or steroids.” Why? “Common sense — “my family has a history of heart conditions.” Clemens notes that both his brother and stepdad had heart attacks and it would be “suicidal” for him to take any of these drugs. He also finds these allegations “dishearting” (sic). 

Yes we all know how medical conditions can jump from a step parent to step children. I think I learned that by watching “House” *Sarcasm* If heart attacks are contagious, then quickly, everyone flee Texas! 

On Andy Pettitte admitting that he was injected by McNamee and that he had a conversation with Clemens about HGH: Clemens reiterates: “Andy misremembers.” 

On Manny: Surprised because, as Roger’s stated before MLB has great testing: “We have great testing.” Did you know Roger Clemens passed all of his tests? No? You didn’t. WELL HE DID. Move on please. What? You say Manny passed all his tests as well? But did Manny ask the testing people come to his house and they went to his personal gym so he could show his son how “evasive”(sic) it was? Well Roger did “I think the program works!” 

On A-Rod: “I hope none of the things he took do damage to his body and ruin his career.” 

“How do you defend against the negative?”: Lie! “Steroids are bad for these kids — but again, I can’t defend the negative, when you’ve got somebody out there who’s just crawling up your back to make a buck…” Mentions his charities, golfing, foundations, charities, fundraising, his foundations, charities, banquets, and all of the good he’s done for people since 1991, and “I know how tough it is raising money for charity these days…” and HOW COULD I TAKE STEROIDS WHEN I’M DOING ALL OF THIS FUCKING CHARITY WORK? I HAVE NO TIME FOR NEEDLES! (I’m paraphrasing there, by the way.)

Judging from the scientific poll that ESPN performed this interview did nothing to help Camp Rocket’s cause and is also proved that there really must be nothing to do in Maine and South Carolina. 

Expect to see that next week, ESPN will show nothing but the interview, ESPN2 will feature the interview in Spanish, ESPNU will have the interview with MST3K-style commentary and ESPNews will scroll the interview text over a blank background while playing Weather Channel music. 

A transcript of the interview can be found here.

Posted in A-Rod, Brian McNamee, dumbass, Juiced, Liar, MLB, Roger Clemens, steroids | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Jose Canseco the newest force in MMA

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 1, 2009

As a connoisseur of the entertainment that the Japanese has to offer trust me when I say I’ve seen some crazy shit out of that country.  But the craziest might be seeing Jose Canseco battle a 7’2″ Korean in a MMA match. I prayed to the little baby Jesus in heaven last night that this winds up on YouTube. 

Jose “Rat fink” Canseco will headline in the first round of the Super Hulk Tournament – World Superman Championship,” against super heavyweight Hong Man Choi of South Korea who happens to be over seven feet tall and weighs over three hundred pounds. Fortunately for Canseco, Choi, apparently isn’t that good with a 1-2 lifetime record. 

The sad thing for Canseco is he is probably equally if not worse than Choi. His only “combat sport” experience is a three round draw against Danny Bonaduce. When the Japanese pay you to come in and fight a 7′ Korean, you know you’re a punch line. Unless you’re Jose Canseco. 

“I have no idea if I can do it,” Canseco said Thursday night. “It’s a tough sport.” 

My prediction: Laughter. 

Canseco’s pre-fight checklist:
√dye hair orange
√paint body green
√inject loosey goosey Alex Rodriguez juicy

Posted in Jose Canseco, MMA, steroids, stupid | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

A-Rod the A-Hole or is it roid rage?

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 10, 2009

That is the look of a person who just stuck something in a gloryhole.

A-Roid admitted to Peter Gammons yesterday that when he was 25 years old he did in fact use banned performance-enhancers while playing for the Texas Rangers. Dude, you lied to Katie Couric of all people.

He claims that he felt pressured because he signed that record breaking contract and he had to show the world he was worth that kind of money. He implied that he used them during his three seasons in Texas and says that he has since stopped.

Smart move coming clean. Now he can get back to being Madonna’s bitch. Somewhere, Jose Canseco is laughing ass off yelling “I WAS RIGHT!!!”

Can we now just say that all records broken and all world series titles won will only be recognized through a championship belt?

 

Posted in Alex Rodriguez, Liar, Madonna, new york yankees, Roids, steroids, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

You know that Mindy McCready chick is really turning into a media whore

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 19, 2008

The never ending story of Mindy “I’m now a media whore” McCready & Roger “I’m a jacked up steroid using, wife cheating bastard” Clemens is now taken yet another strange turn.

Media Whore Mindy told Inside Edition that contrary to other published reports she didn’t meet Clemens when she was fifteen instead she was sixteen and relations didn’t occur until “years later”.

So he wasn’t a pedophile, just a philandering douche. I guess that moves him up to a significantly less horrific circle of hell.

“Carrying on a relationship with him is not something I’m proud of,” she said, according to a partial transcript released by the show. “Roger Clemens is one of the most wonderful men I’ve ever known. … He treated me like a princess.”

“We never had a meeting in secret. We went on vacations together. We went to Palm Springs. We went to Las Vegas, New York City,” McCready told Inside Edition. “I wanted him to do right by me … and when he wouldn’t, I broke it off.”

McCready also apologizes to Clemens’ wife, Debbie, and says that at one point she wanted to end it all. “I have nothing but remorse and nothing but sympathy for what [Debbie] had to go through with this situation, and she has my utmost apology,” she told Inside Edition.

Now many of you might remember me reporting on a documentary that was being filmed about McSlutty, well with the timing of this interview, it might be a safe guess that it’s about to be released.

I’m guessing that both will be on Surreal Life here in a few years.

Posted in cheaters, classless, Douche Bag, Mindy McCready, Roger Clemens, secrets, steroids | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Jose Canseco Will Most Likely be on Judge Judy

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 12, 2008

Jose “Snitch Bitch” Canseco is not having a good year. His latest book is a flop. He lost his 7300-square foot home to foreclosure last month. Now his former attorney has filed a lawsuit against the retired baseball star for not paying him.

Attorney Robert Saunooke said the former slugger and current bum didn’t pay him for five years of work. He said Canseco owes him between $350,000 and $500,000 for representing him in civil and criminal matters, contract negotiations, plane trips and book deals. All this will make for riveting television for the likes of Judge Judy.

Canseco said he’s confident that he will win any challenge if it goes to court. He said his former attorney is only one of many people who have attacked him since he began revealing his use of steroids — and alleging that of other players — in baseball several years ago.

“I’m surrounded by liars and thieves,” says the man who allowed his home to be foreclosed on.

Canseco’s current attorney, Gregory Emerson, did not immediately return messages left at his office or his cell phone. He was probably trying to track Jose down to get that all important retainer that Canseco seems to keep “forgetting” to pay.

Saunooke said Canseco never paid the money he earned during the time that the 2005 book titled, “Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant ’Roids, Smash Hits & How Baseball Got Big” was published, and when he demanded Canseco pay, the former major leaguer hired Emerson.

“I had thought he was a friend. That’s why I stayed with him as long as I did,” Saunooke said. “When you represent famous people, it’s not easy to run away from them. I’m not the kind of lawyer that would desert my client.”

Saunooke said he accompanied Canseco to Washington in 2005 for a congressional hearing on steroid use in Major League Baseball, among other legal issues while he has been his attorney.

“He doesn’t have any money problems,” Saunooke said. “He just doesn’t pay his bills.”

Jose is clearly a bum however Saunooke should know as an attorney and more importantly as a person, when you lay with dogs you’re bound to get dog shit on you.

Posted in court tv, Cry Baby, Jose Canseco, Judge Judy, Juiced, Snitches, steroids | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Mindy McCready Will Bypass the Jerry Springer Show

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 23, 2008

County singer, ex-Roger Clemens side skank and former jailbird, Mindy McCready, will not be appearing on the Springer Show to dish dirt about her torrid love affair with Clemens. I know, I know many of you are heartbroken over this. I mean how many times can some skank confront her lovers wife on the Springer Show?

Answer: Not enough. 🙂

With documentary filming all but finished, fans will soon be able to see the uncensored version of country singer Mindy McCready. The no-holds-barred look into McCready’s life will include what the film’s producer calls “her side of the Roger Clemens story.”

Clemens is no longer “screaming at the top of his lungs” how innocent he is, and what a liar that Brian McNamee is. Gee, I wonder why?

Since the breaking of the story between her and Clemens (yours truly was one of the first to ridicule Clemens “blog” about it) her documentary has suddenly gone from being titled “Another Washed-Up Country Singer” to “Fallen Angel” however before it’s said and done it could be titled “Hells Yeah I Slept with the Rocket.”

“She talks about everybody, what happened with Roger,” Blake Freeman, the “Fallen Angel” producer, told the Daily News. “July is the current target date for release.”

One should note that before the story about her and Clemens broke this piece of white trash mania artistic view of the struggles that exist within the country music industry was set to be shown on the CMT Channel sometime between two and three o’clock in the morning right before the ever popular “Thigh Master” info-commercial.

McCready, meanwhile, is re-launching her career after a string of recent personal setbacks, including a six-month stint in jail last year due to a probation violation. In addition to the documentary, there is a new album. She offers fans a free song, “I’m Still Here,” which she wrote in jail. (snicker)

In the video below McCready is dressed in a low-cut black top and with her blond hair pulled back and looking like a drag queen, McCready giggles like a teenager who just touched David Cook thanks her fans for their support in the clip. As for the recent onslaught of coverage, McCready dodges discussing her Rocket ties.

“I know that you’re reading crazy stuff in the papers right now. The headlines are truly nuts and I’m living it,” McCready says. “I would love to say so many things, but mostly I would like to say it to you in song.”

Plus she looks rather chunky as well….

Remember I still need “bail” money!!! Click here for details.

Posted in cheaters, Mindy McCready, MLB, Roger Clemens, Roids, steroids | Tagged: , , , , , | 3 Comments »

USA Baseball Doesn’t Want a Lying Cheater on the Team. The Olympics will still Suck

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 9, 2008

Like the Discover card, Roger Clemens isn’t welcome on the U.S. Olympic baseball team.

U.S. general manager Bob Watson said Wednesday that he isn’t considering the 45-year-old right-hander for his roster for the Beijing Games.

“From my standpoint, we don’t need that type of distraction,” Watson said. “I have not talked to the commissioner. I have not talked to [MLB chief operating officer] Bob DuPuy, nor have I talked to his agent, but I just think the distraction that he’s carrying right now, from my standpoint, we don’t need that.”

At the U.S. Olympic team media summit last month, Watson was quoted as saying Clemens wasn’t “on my radar screen” because of his performance at the end of last season. On Wednesday, however, Watson said “distraction” was an issue, too.

I agree. Do not let Clemons on the roster. He will only make the U.S look worse in the eyes of all the other countries. And here’s how:

  • He would test positive for Roids, then blame the results on something ridiculous like the testers “misremembering” how to spell his name
  • He could get in trouble by cheating on his wife with a 15 year old asian girl.
  • He could face serious trouble for perjuring himself to the Chinese authorities by saying he did nothing wrong, but will only apologize for making “mistakes” Wonder if he will buy the girls dad some golf clubs? Maybe buy her mom a wok?

However a plus could be that they could film Dateline NBC “To Catch a Predator” live from Beijing and have some cops run out and tackle Clemens on the pitchers mound.

Despite the fact that the Olympics have become somewhat of a political laughing stock for the athletic community over the past few years the right and privilege to compete for ones country still means a great deal to most/many of the athletes involved, to think that as a country at this point in time the United States of America could not find ANYONE better to represent our country on the baseball diamond is ridiculous. In addition to his declined performance the end of last season and his age Roger has disgraced himself, his family, his friends, his teammates, MLB, and the entire sport of baseball, steroids were the smallest factor in all of this mind you. Roger Clemens true personality has shown through the past few months and he would be a despicably horrible choice for the United States to send to Beijing as an athletic representative for our country.

Plus he slept with John Daly’s fat & disgusting ex-wife.

Posted in Major League Baseball, MLB, Roger Clemens, Roids, steroids, The Olympics | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The MLB Players’ Association are Either Complete Idiots or Awesome Wasters of Time

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 7, 2008

It’s been long said that the MLB Players’ Association have been a major source of baseballs woes. Now they have the audacity to open an investigation into their own free agency practices that Congress would be rather embarrassed to open. Of course the MLBPA actually sent out a memo telling players not to cooperate with the Mitchell investigation.

Page 1 of the memo

Page 2 of the memo

The MLBPA has been investigating for several weeks what has taken place in free agency, in relation to Barroid Bonds, Kenny “Still No Ring” Lofton and other players who have gone unsigned.

LBPA general counsel Michael Weiner, when asked if they were near a resolution, said:

“I really don’t know. We’re still waiting for some information.”

If the MLBPA determines that there is something untoward, it could file a grievance on the issue of collusion at the end of the investigation.

So basically they want to know why Bonds hasn’t been signed yet. Let me help them out I might have an answer.

  • Steroids
  • Age
  • He can’t play the field anymore because of his knees
  • He’s an asshole in the clubhouse and to media
  • Hitler has a higher approval rating
  • His feet smell (Dusty Baker is the one making that claim)

“The union notified us that it was investigating potential collusion regarding Barry Bonds and asked for information, and we told them that there was absolutely no collusion with respect to Barry Bonds or any other free agent,” said Dan Halem, MLB senior vice president and general labor counsel. “We are aware of no facts which would support a collusion claim regarding Bonds or any other free agents.”

Jeff Borris, the agent for Bonds, said:

“No team has made me an offer for any amount at any time since Barry became a free agent. Barry continues to work out,” but when asked about his client’s prospects for this season, he said, “I’m not optimistic that he will be in a major league uniform in 2008.”

Well thank God for that Borris.

Barry Bonds & Lofton aren’t the only big-name players that haven’t gotten a major league contract this season. Here are some others:

  • Roger Clemens
  • Jose Mesa
  • Mike Piazza
  • Sammy Sosa
  • David Wells

Does anyone notice anything similar about all these players? Here’s a hint: they’re all old and/or aging. Did anyone think that maybe, just maybe, teams would rather give the 23 year old kid with upside a shot, instead of the 40+ one-and-done guy? No? Really?

Bonds is a distraction, therefore, no one wants him. Lofton though, I think he’s well past his prime but can make a decent 4th outfielder for a team. Even then, I think he needs to retire and he should be a shoo-in for the HOF.

If a GM doesn’t want a free-agent player on the team because of the negative PR that will result, how is that possibly collusion?

Posted in Barry Bonds, MLB, MLBPA, steroids, stupid | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

Clemens Apologizes…Sort Of

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 5, 2008

They don’t have anything to apologize for. 🙂

While admitting he had made “mistakes” in his personal life, Roger Clemens apologized to his family and the public on Sunday…sort of…read on & you’ll understand further.

“I know that many people want to know what I have to say about the recent articles in the media,” Clemens said in the statement. “Even though these articles contain many false accusations and mistakes, I need to say that I have made mistakes in my personal life for which I am sorry. I have apologized to my family and apologize to my fans. Like everyone, I have flaws. I have sometimes made choices which have not been right.”

“Now, I have been accused of having an improper relationship with a fifteen-year-old girl. Nothing could be further from the truth. This relationship has been twisted and distorted far beyond reality. It is just one of many, many accusations that are utterly false.”

“I realize that many people want me to simply confess and apologize for the conduct that I have been accused of, but I cannot confess to, nor apologize for, things I did not do. I have apologized to my family for my mistakes. And having offered this apology to the public, I would ask that you let me and my family deal with these matters in private.”

Ok let me get this straight. You’re apologizing however you aren’t saying what you’re apologizing for. Is anyone else out there as confused as me? Or did Roger just pull an old trick from the Jason Giambi playbook: I apologize, but I’m not going to tell you what I just apologized for…

Didn’t the girl herself admit to this? Is he calling her a liar as well? Oh wait she just misremembered.

Clemens mentions “fans” in this apology. What fans do he have anymore? He has to be the biggest coward in sports history. He is lying through his teeth. My favorite so far…let me apologize before saying that “nothing could be further from the truth.” Only irrational people speak this way. He is such a loser…and not a man. Own up for Christ’s sake.

I think this sums it all up, and this was almost 10 years ago:

“I have no respect or appreciation for his comments,” said Piazza, who missed the All-Star game because of the beaming. “Roger Clemens is a great pitcher, but I don’t have respect for him now at all.”

I wonder does Peter Gammons cry himself to sleep screaming, “WHY ROGER WHY?!!”

Of course if you’re still a Clemens fan you can always buy his autograph on E-Bay. Since this is what he’s been reduced to.

Posted in dumbass, Liar, MLB, Roger Clemens, Roids, steroids | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

It Goes From Bad to Worse for Clemens

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 1, 2008

As if being a liar, statutory rapist & all around asshole isn’t bad enough, the Rocket is continuing to make headlines.

Meet Angela Moyer a former bartender from Manhattan who lives in the Harrisburg, Pa., area. From 2000 to 2004 at Sutton Place, a yuppie East Side watering hole. That’s roughly the same time the pitching legend played for the scum-sucking Yankees.

Moyer acknowledged she knew Clemens, but has declined to discuss the relationship. She was spotted driving up to her father’s apartment house Tuesday night, but said only “no comment” when asked about Clemens. She then sped off. Yeah I’d hit it…twice!

Meanwhile McCready’s mother, Gayle Inge, later told various press outlets, “I know Roger was infatuated with Mindy.”

Former slugger Jose Canseco said he was stunned to learn his former teammate had an affair with McCready.

“I found out about it Tuesday and it took me completely by surprise,” said Canseco, who wrote in his first book, “Juiced,” that the legendary pitcher never strayed from his wife.

“I saw none of it. If it is true, he kept it secret.”

  • Clemens’ 2007 Yankee contract: $28 million.
  • Hummer H2 that he got as a retirement gift: $55,000.
  • Watching it all unravel priceless……..

Now here’s where it goes from bad to “Holy shit this sucks ass” bad.

Various News reports are circulating that Clemens had a relationship with Paulette Dean Daly, a former wife of champion golfer John Daly.

The reports say Clemens, a “married” father of four, arranged trips to Anaheim Stadium for Daly – the latest woman to emerge as an alleged Rocket flame – to watch him pitch for the Yankees against the Angels. Sources also said he spent time with her in Palm Springs, Calif.

The pair met at the Bob Hope Chrysler Classic, a Palm Springs golf tournament that Paulette Dean Daly has been involved with for many years – including stints as a “Classic Girl,” one of the beautiful women who help in ceremonial duties at the event, sources said.

I believe these “sources” are lying she’s hideous.

“Yeah, I’ve known Roger quite a while and we are friends,” Daly said yesterday.

She declined to elaborate on the nature of her relationship with the pitcher, but did not deny allegations from several sources that it was romantic and included financial support.

Asked if she had been romantically involved with Clemens, Daly replied:

“You know what, I’m really uncomfortable talking about this. I’m just going to have to say, ‘No comment.’

“I know Roger. I consider him a good friend. That’s all I’m comfortable saying.”

Clemens’ relationship with Daly is said to have come after the end of her marriage to the hard-driving golfer. That was on the heels of a grim incident at the 1997 Players Championship, where the golfer was taken to a hospital with alcohol poisoning.

From the looks of her I would drown myself in alcohol as well. Sheesh.

The revelations of Clemens’ dalliances come as he and his lawyer, Rusty Hardin, pursue a defamation suit against former trainer Brian McNamee, who has accused Clemens of using performance-enhancing drugs & being an asshole. Neither of which as the Rocket disproved.

In an effort to discredit McNamee in January, Hardin circulated information about a 2001 incident in Florida where McNamee was investigated for sexual assault but was never charged.

Now Clemens’ flawed past is coming to light, which legal experts say is inevitable for anyone pursuing a defamation case because a successful injury claim depends on an undamaged reputation.

Hardin has argued that Clemens’ personal life is irrelevant to the issue of steroid and human-growth hormone use – a notion that is rather hypocritical considering he circulated the info on the 2001 incident.

Bottom line this would be looked at in any court. After all is he isn’t going to be honest with his wife, whom he took a vow with, then just who will he be honest with?

McNamee’s lawyers have said they will pursue sworn testimony from any mistresses who emerge, including testimony from country singer Mindy McCready.

Clemens, who is also under FBI investigation for perjury, has not spoken publicly this week about his situation and continues to hide behind his lawyer.

How many women are there? A girl a day? Every 15 minutes is one going to materialize from a bar or a trailer?

His attorney needs to find out what’s out there.

Posted in Brian McNamee, cheaters, legal troubles, Mitchell Report, MLB, Roger Clemens, secrets, steroids | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »