Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Posts Tagged ‘West Virginia’

Howdy Doody Has A Doozy Deal

Posted by Joel Jackson on September 24, 2008

For the 2 regular readers of this blog (and the thousands of trolls), you may or may not know that West By God Virginia holds a special place in our hearts and minds. By no stretch are we Mountaineer fans. Our beloved orange warriors win championships (although none in football thanks to that fat, stubborn…sorry, wrong subject). All one has to do is type West Virginia in the search box to see plenty of Mountaineer fodder.

So whenever this fine institute of higher learning makes the news, we take special notice. I mean, why wouldn’t we??? The writers at The Young & The Restless couldn’t write more drama in the past year. Just Rich Rodriguez alone would be Victor Newman, and Michigan would be the new young and beautiful chick that stolls into Genoa City that he would bang instantly.

In Coach Bill Stewart’s contract, the signed deal includes 1 extra year that wasn’t on the original offer sheet. Also, if he is fired before January 3, 2009, the school must pay him $4.125 million. Former embattled school president Mike Garrison can’t be blamed for this one though, because he was gone by the time the contract was finalized and signed, which was on Sept. 10. The big deal was that a flat $1 million buyout clause was negotiated and agreed upon in the original offer sheet. In other words, now West Virginia can’t fire this guy until Jan. 4. By then, the Mountaineers could easily be 6-6. There is hope though, 6-6 could be good enough to win the Big East.

West Virginia is it’s own worst enemy. Shame too. The school could be great. Wait, let me re-phrase that. The school could be better than mediocre. Whenever the administration and athletics department decide to join 2008 and get out of 1972, please let me know. For all I know, they could still be playing John Denver in Mountaineer Field on an 8 track. Mountain momma, take me home…

Posted in BCS, Big East, bongs, boo birds, boosters, College Football, Couch Burning, Crack, NCAA, West Virginia, West Virginia Mountaineers, whiners, white trash, WVU | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

This is West Virginia Football or 17 reasons on why to not become a West Virginia Fan.

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on December 2, 2007


Jesus we suck! We’ll never win a title. But I own a shirt with the word fuck in it so I’m cool.

1. Being known as the couch burning capital of college football.

2. Giving Lou Holtz his only national champion title.

3. Having a degenerate hippie like Steve Tanyhill defeat you to bring South Carolina their first ever bowl victory.

4. Being embarrassed by Maryland by a score of 34-7 only to play them later that same year in the Gator bowl just to embarrass yourself again by losing 41-7.

5. Running off some no name coach by the name of Bobby Bowden. You might have heard of him by now.

6. Knowing that Marshall has 2 national championships while you have none.

7. Taking pride in being the “Kings of Thursday Night Football”

8. Breaming with joy over having the 2nd highest rated game in ESPN History, while other schools rather look to their trophy case instead.

9. Knowing Marshall has produced players like Chad Pennington & Byron Leftwich, while West Virginia has produced players like Major Harris & Chris Henry.

10. After losing the Continental Tire bowl to Virginia in 2002, whine about Notre Dame going to the Gator bowl instead of you.

11. Having a losing bowl record.

12. Pacman Jones.

13. The middle finger of Marcus Vick.

14. Losing a home coming game to Duke.

15. Always being the third or fourth best team in the Big East until Miami and Virginia Tech fled to the ACC, just to have some teams from Conference USA come in, and put you back in to your place…3rd or 4th.

16. Losing to South Florida back to back, a school who 10 years ago wasn’t a D1 program. Thanks Joel.

17. Being ranked #2 in the country, 1 win away from playing for the BCS championship and losing at home to an unranked, 4 & 7 Pitt team.

Posted in Coach Rich Rodriguez, Dave Wannstedt, Pitt Panthers, West Virginia Mountaineers | Tagged: , , , | 6 Comments »