Your Mother Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

A Sports Blog on why ALL Teams Suck…Again!

Posts Tagged ‘yankees suck’

This video of a Yankee-Marlins fight that occurred in the stands should get some sort of an award

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on June 22, 2009

Who doesn’t enjoy watching a random fight in the stand between two people you don’t know? Let’s fact it majority of this country does. That’s why shows like Most Shocking Videos thrive on the airwaves. 

A great place to find a video of a random beat down is YouTube. However most are grainy because they were taken on cell phone cameras and none really capture the tragedy, thrills, trepidation and tear-jerking childhood suffering trauma like this video of an altercation from this past Yankees-Marlins series. This is the Godfather of all Youtube videos!!!! 

Naturally we do not know what started this however we can plainly see who finished it. The Yankee fan and Marlin fan are going toe to toe when the Yankee takes somewhat of a cheap shot in the form of a haymaker. Then Mrs. Marlin Fan jumps in a “stand by your man” moment of violence, all the while Marlin fan prepares to do his best “Superfly Jimmy Snuka” impersonation off the railing that sends Yankee fan tumbling. For some reason security isn’t around and of course there are people attempting to break up the fight. Then come the moment that shocks your system and melts the apathy from your dead heart when the camera pans to the Yankee fan’s young daughter crying her eyes out. 

Give credit to the cameraman for keeping cool in a tense situation and bringing this quality stadium fight to YouTube. 

That Yankees fan is just lucky that Little Guido only clotheslined him and didn’t put him in a Sicilian Crab.

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Posted in Fights, Florida Marlins, Inspiring, Major League Baseball, new york yankees, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Yankees slash ticket prices…but they still suck

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 30, 2009

In case you’ve been living under Andre Smith’s belly fat for the past six months then you know that the Yankees have a new glorious stadium. It’s new and shiny and a lot of homeruns have already been launched out of it, just not by Yankee players. Oh and another plus side of this new stadium is it doesn’t smell like piss and vomit…yet. 

One draw back to this new stadium is for reason they can never sell it out. Sure in one game they have more people in attendance there than what MLS can draw for an entire season but that’s not saying too much. 

Another disturbing thing about the new Yankees Stadium is they no longer sell Eveready batteries at the concession stands, only the fancy Energizer Ultimate Lithium ones. Those are way to expensive to throw at opposing players. 

So what do you when you’re located in a city that is over flowing with millionaires that love to flaunt their riches but yet can seem to sell the ever so TV friendly seats so they remain an embarrassment? Simple you slash the prices from highway robbery to dark alley mugging. The tickets have gone from $2500-a-game to the infomercial price of $1,250! Oh God what a bargain… 

The full-season Legends Suite and ticket licenses priced at $2,500 per regular-season game in sections 15A-B, 24B and 25 will be reduced to $1,250 per game. Those who have already purchased those seats will receive their choice of a refund or credit. The full-season $1,000 seats will drop to $650 per game with a similar policy. 

Those who have purchased full-season $2,500 seats in sections 16-24A, Legends Suite seats for $1,250, $850, $600 and $500 will receive a specified number of complimentary seats. The same goes for future purchases of such seats. 

The Delta Sky 360 suites in Sections 218A-222 will be reduced from $750 to $550 per game, with refunds/credits for those who already purchased. 

In order to encourage people to buy the $325 tickets in sections 115-125, fans will receive a specific number of complimentary tickets along with their purchases. 

This move has angered Keith Olbermann

MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann, who owns three $850 Legends Suite season tickets, was unhappy prices were cut only for those with front-row seats while others will be given additional tickets.

Wow…he’s complaining about extra free tickets. That makes me hate him even more than before. Perhaps Mr. Olbermann can use the extra ticket to bring his ego to some games? 

Empty seats that are in the line of the TV cameras…Welcome to Atlanta, Yankees! 

In a related story, Jeter’s herpes have being downgraded from ‘flesh eating and horrific’ to ‘irritated and swollen.’

Posted in Major League Baseball, MLB, new york yankees, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

Let the hate begin. It’s time for the Red Sox and Yankees to renew their rivalry for 2009

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 24, 2009

This weekend is one of the better sports weekends especially if you’re a Red Sox fan. That’s right Sox and Yankees renew their hate-fest. We all know the Yankees blow, my God they can’t even sell out that brand new stadium of theirs. 

David Ortiz has already issued a warning to Joba “The DUI Drunken Hutt” Chamberlain about throwing at the heads of Red Sox players. See in 2007 Chamberlain threw behind Youkilis’ head twice in one game. Then last July this occurred. 

Ortiz talked to reporters on Wednesday between games of a doubleheader with the Twins. 

“None of that, man – just play the game the way it’s supposed to be, and that’s about it,” Ortiz said, referring to Chamberlain. “This is a guy, as good as he is, the next step for him will be to earn respect from everybody in the league. He’s not a bad guy, but when things like that happen, people get the wrong idea.” 

Basically he is saying “Oh and please don’t pitch drunk.” 

Then again this is just another example of the Dominican Republic going out of its way to police other countries. See? And you thought I couldn’t pick on teams or players I like. 

The photo is a screen shot of CNBC’s Closing Bell during the Consumer Electronics Show of 2008. Don’t these guys know they don’t have to make degrading personal appearances until they’ve retired and shitted all their money away? 

Joba just can’t get away from the prison stripes look. Guess he’s preparing for his future 10-year stint when he pulls a Stallworth.

Posted in Big Papi, Boston Red Sox, DUI, Joba Chamberlain, Major League Baseball, MLB, new york yankees, Sox Rock!, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Random Musings: Baseball Edition

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on April 9, 2009

Go Red Sox!

Go Red Sox!

Yes…baseball has officially begun, and what a great start to the season with Boston winning their first game and Yankees losing theirs. 

Here a brief collection of not so famous baseball stories that have occurred lately. 

Whoever handles the marketing responsibilities for Giants Apparently does not think things through and they should leave all ball related play on words to someone who is a trained professional. 

Their new slogan “Let’s Play with Balls of Fire” is also the pickup line that Jerry Lee Lewis used on his 13-year-old cousin. They’re already in San Francisco, so there’s no need to attract the gay demographic. It’s there for the taking. 

The E! True Hollywood Story: Beetlejuice

Remember when Joba Chamberlain spent a night in mid-October drinking at a strip club and was stopped by Lincoln police? Well good news everyone the video of his arrest is now available

This video footage of the Yankee right-hander’s arrest in Nebraska shows a drunken and Chamberlain stumbling to his left after the state trooper removes an open bottle of alcohol from his car. 

The video also catches Joba, who at the time was newly acquired by the Yankees, bashing New Yorkers and leveling Yankee great, Yogi Berra, with a cheap shot. (Hahahaha) 

“No bullshit, he might not be as tall as the front of your car,” Chamberlain told the Nebraska state trooper who found an open bottle of Crown Royal sitting inside the hurler’s BMW.” 

Forget about failing a sobriety test; he failed a fashion test. He’s dressed like a mime. 

Don’t ever, under any circumstances, talk bad about Hillsdale College (Mich.) baseball team’s lousy record. That’s what one editor of the school news paper did only to have his home besieged with dead animals. Including a goat that shot gunned. Who shotguns a goat? You slit its throat voodoo fashion. 

Beneath the carcasses a copy of a recent Hillsdale Collegian editorial was found. The editorial called out the baseball team for its 8-14 record (1-9 in the Great Lakes Intercollegiate Athletic Conference). 

Here’s an excerpt from the editorial

“In the recent past Hillsdale managed to can its women’s cheer team, the soccer team, men’s swimming and men’s golf. God knows what they did wrong. Even more disturbing, the rugby team (4-3) struggles to become a recognized club (despite field success) as the dean of men pushes to bring a Nerf-war club into fruition. What? 

Maybe you’re next? 

Oh, and lose the swagger. 

Most of you walk around campus with this chip-on-my-shoulder, badass tempo. How is this possible? It’s not enough for you to simply lumber around like the other disappointing athletes? Lose the stride boys.” 

Harsh words indeed however when someone uses harsh word like this it helps to stand by them. Of course after someone’s house was pelted by dead animals the newspaper was quick to apologize

“This past week’s staff editorial about the baseball team was a mistake, and we can’t stand by that expressed opinion. Maybe the right sentiment was there in the beginning, but what we published was poorly written, reported and edited. We now realize there are conditions the baseball team faces, for example a financial disadvantage other teams may not worry about. We kicked a guy when he was down; published an opinion rooted in gossip rather than reported fact. 

Especially, we never should have attacked the character of the baseball team or the coaching staff. We understand you do your best to represent the college well. You are supported by the editorial board as one of our Charger teams and we hope you snag a win this weekend.” 

Way to stick by your guns guys. As for the team itself, lighten up on the carcasses.

Posted in Boston Red Sox, DUI, Hillsdale College, Joba Chamberlain, Major League Baseball, MLB, NCAA Baseball, new york yankees, San Francisco Giants, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

According to famous hooker, her & A-Rod dated…I’m sure Madonna approves

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 24, 2009

According to the New York Daily News not only did professional skank, Kristin Davis, provide A-Fraud with professional intercourse technicians (that’s what they call whores in Canada) but she also dated him.

What ever happened to discretion? I blame the internet.

This story is so full of quotes I’m sure where to begin. Former employees of Davis told the Daily News that she was overwhelmed by A-Fraud and she commented to hooker’s cardinal sin of actually falling for a john, and dated him herself…at no charge! That sinner!!!

Davis’ action were of course before the current economic climate that has forced all of us to actually quit using hookers so there is a chance that she might charge him today. However I bet it would be at a 50% discount.

Apparently the two met in June of ’06 at a Philadelphia gym. A-Fraud being the still married family man that he was asked her out. Davis claims she said no but instead gave him the phone number for her agency’s recently-opened Philly branch. A-Fraud took her up on this offer and that was just the beginning chase for the slut in lace.

To the email exchange:

“Rodriguez purportedly told Davis on Nov. 17, 2006: “Thanks for setting me up with Samantha. She was gorgeous. But she is not you. When can I see you are gorgeous . . .”

Davis: “Hi Alex. You don’t want to see me. I’m no fun. lol. Just because your (sic) so sweet, here are some pics of me and I appreciate the compliments. Your (sic) a doll. Thanks, Kristin”

Rodriguez: “You have been playing hard to get for a year now, your (sic) killing me.”

Davis: “It’s not playing I am hard to get. Maybe you should try harder.”

Rodriguez: “Kristin, I definitely will and I love the pics. I put the one on my cell so I can look at you all the time. Alex.”

Davis: “You are too sweet. I’ll let you know when I get someone you like.”

This guy is a goldmine. Also, color me surprised she couldn’t manage to get the your/you’re correct, but got the too right.

The two dated for a short period of time before she eventually dumped his cheating steroid injected ass. A-Fraud apparently felt close to her at least close enough to confess to the pressures he felt professional baseball which is why he started juicing up:

“He told her that he’d used steroids,” the source claimed. “He said a lot of players did. He just wanted to be a good ballplayer.”

Naturally a spokesperson for A-Fraud has declined to comment. Not because A-Fraud is hiding anything but because there’s about a billion other allegations that came in first. You know the rule first come first served. Hopefully his PR team will release a comment on this, the newest train wreck of the A-Fraud express by Easter of this year.

Do Clemens and A-Rod have a contest going on that we don’t know about? Steroids? Check. Infidelity? Check. Misspelling? Chek (sic).

Maybe he should just stick to making love to himself.

Posted in A-Fraud, A-Rod, A-Roid, Alex Rodriguez, Hookers, Madonna, Major League Baseball, MLB, new york yankees, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Well MLB.com has crushed yet another dream of mine

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on March 17, 2009

Well this sucks! I had a dream of owning a New York Yank’me jersey with “A-Roid” on the back but noooo…MLB censers will not allow it.

Darren Rovell reports in his CNBC Sports Biz column the MLB.com is banning various “user submitted” nicknames on jerseys such as A-Roid, A-Fraud and Jeter Sucks Steinbrenner Cock.

“MLB.com spokesman Matt Gould told CNBC that the league does not allow fans to personalize products with anything that is deemed inappropriate, derogatory or profane. Fans haven’t been able to personalize their jerseys on the site with the word “steroids” since 2005, but as of this afternoon, fans can get A-Rod’s drug of choice, “Boli,” on the back of jerseys. They can also get “Sucart,” the last name of A-Rod’s cousin, who has been part of the story.”

Is “Ron Mexico” or “I ♥ Madonna” OK ?

I love the Yankee fans who spend $80 on a replica (a replica!) Jeter jersey, with his name across the back, despite the fact that the Yanks have NEVER HAD NAMES ON THEIR JERSEYS.

Actually, wait. I do not love those people.

Posted in A-Fraud, A-Roid, Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter, Major League Baseball, MLB, new york yankees, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

A-Rod the A-Hole or is it roid rage?

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on February 10, 2009

That is the look of a person who just stuck something in a gloryhole.

A-Roid admitted to Peter Gammons yesterday that when he was 25 years old he did in fact use banned performance-enhancers while playing for the Texas Rangers. Dude, you lied to Katie Couric of all people.

He claims that he felt pressured because he signed that record breaking contract and he had to show the world he was worth that kind of money. He implied that he used them during his three seasons in Texas and says that he has since stopped.

Smart move coming clean. Now he can get back to being Madonna’s bitch. Somewhere, Jose Canseco is laughing ass off yelling “I WAS RIGHT!!!”

Can we now just say that all records broken and all world series titles won will only be recognized through a championship belt?

 

Posted in Alex Rodriguez, Liar, Madonna, new york yankees, Roids, steroids, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Jim Leyritz will struggle through this…somehow

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on November 19, 2008

For those of you that might not know or remember Jim Leyritz, he is a former douche-bag Yankee who stands accused of being involved in an accident while driving drunk, in which a young mother was killed.

Of course our legal system, being what is, means Leyritz is currently out on bail awaiting trial. The judge had ordered a Breathalyzer device be installed in his car until the trial.

Last week Leyritz’s attorneys asked the judge to remove the device because it was somewhat “bothersome.”

“He cannot leave the car with a valet, because it cannot be started by the valet,” his lawyers said in a statement. And he “can’t eat things like chicken Marsala,” said his ex-wife, Karri, because certain foods cause false positives.

So… all the valets in New York have also been eating Chicken Marsala?

Jim Leyritz needs to be able to use valet parking, people. Do you know how hard it is to remember where you parked your car after drinking three bottles of wine during dinner?

The victim’s lifeless body has requested that her body be re-animated because her current state of lifelessness is “bothersome.”

Maybe the court could replace his Breathalyzer with the barrel of a loaded shotgun.

Hey Jim fuck you asshole. I feel so sorry for you.

Posted in Crime & Punishment, drunk, DUI, Jim Leyritz, new york yankees, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The day of the dark alliance occurred yesterday

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 21, 2008

 

Imagine what could happen if the two owners of the two biggest douche-bag teams have teamed up to form the biggest evil douche-bag company ever. Yes, you should be worried about this. Imagine the power that both Hal Steinbrenner (George would be involved but takes a silent stance in the process in order to pull the strings) & Jerry Jones can muster together. Are you scared? Yes? Then good you need to be because it’s happened.

Only appropriate that the two most evil empires in all of sports join forces. I was wondering who the villain would be in the new Justice League movie…

Daniel Kaplan and Don Muret of The SportsBusiness Journal are reporting that the two teams have gone in on a business venture together — a concessions company called Legends Hospitality Management. The Dark Alliance is formed.

Just from the name I can imagine a company that will be geared to help players like Pacman Adam Jones and Joba Chamberlin beat their alcohol problems. Actually I thought Legends Hospitality Management was the nursing home they put Steinbrenner in.

The Yankees and Cowboys each own a third of the company, with Goldman Sachs owning most of the rest for the first-of-its-kind venture.

Legends will manage regular concessions, suite catering and team stores at the new Yankees and Cowboys stadiums, which are set to open next year at a cost of more than $1 billion each. Legends also will pursue accounts in the major leagues, college sports and abroad, the sources said.

The first-of-its-kind initiative between two of pro sports’ star teams is the idea of Gerry Cardinale, the Goldman managing director who helped create the Yankees’ regional sports channel, the YES Network, and brokered the return of Alex Rodriguez to the team last year.

It’s funny how both these franchises are receiving new stadiums next season. Think about much an already overly priced hotdog will be now. I hope the Yankee and Cowboy fans enjoy their $10 hotdog and $18 beer because I imagine those items will be priced somewhere in that area.

So, I guess Cowboy and Yankee fans will have to overpay for big name but ultimately disappointing stadium fare.

It’s been said that the rich get richer and these two franchises somehow-someway manages to make money hand over fist even though they are failing in the win/loss columns.

Both Jones & Steinbrenner have spent a bunch of money on their current teams. And neither is getting much of a return on their investment. Just like the Yankees the Cowboys have the most inflated payroll in their respective league.

Yes, I’d like a RomoBurger, slightly overrated, with TOnions and hold the playoff wins.

Posted in Dallas Cowboys, drunk, Evil Empire, Jerry Jones, new york yankees, Pacman Jones, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

College Football Week 8 is in the books & here’s what I learned

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on October 19, 2008

Ahh…another Saturday of college football has past us by. No real upsets to speak of however it was another great smorgasbord of games with some thrilling endings.

Don’t let the Tennessee score fool you. My complete wrap-up of that game will be tomorrow.

Everyone remember BYU? You know they’re the team with the unstoppable offense that was going to bust the BCS this year. Well TCU has something to say about that.

South Florida keeps in the mix of the Big Least by rolling over Syracuse.

Look out the smarty Northwestern team is now bowl eligible. They beat Purdue handily and this has to be Joe Tiller’s last season.

Maryland is like Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde of the ACC that or Wake Forest just wants to avoid a trip to Tampa and a chance to play in the ACC championship game.

Wow Rutgers actually won a game.

Georgia Tech upended Clemson. This was Dabo Swinney’s first game as interim head coach. I noticed that the AD was on the sidelines because he said something that obviously Swinney didn’t like.

If I was Swinney I would simply blame the AD at the post-game press conference.

“That play that got Korn injured, that was the AD’s call. The hook & ladder play it was the AD’s as well. I figured since he was on the sidelines interfering with my coaching he could call some of the plays”

Seriously folks the AD doesn’t belong on the sidelines. He should have been in the luxury suites entertaining the alumni.

Texas Tech manages to get the offense rolling and defeats Texas A&M.

Wisconsin once was ranked as high as #10 in the country, dropped their 3rd game in a row while taking a beating from Iowa.

Georgia sloppily beat Vandy. Vandy is looking to become bowl eligible.

Oklahoma State is 7-0 for the first time since the 1940’s.

Everyone though Michigan State had turned a corner…then they met Ohio State yesterday. It wasn’t pretty.

Oklahoma might the 4th in the country but they’re also 4th in their division.

I’m one of the few people that actually took Virginia to beat North Carolina.

Ole Miss. gave Alabama a huge scare. Alabama starts fast and fails to finish big.

Michigan looked awesome in the first half against Penn State. To bad the game has a second half.

Kentucky rallied 2 touchdowns in about the final minutes of the game to defeat Arkansas.

Don’t look now but Pittsburgh is now 5-1.

Hey did you know that Virginia Tech played Boston College last night? It was actually a decent game and Virginia Tech, like Wake Forest, doesn’t want too go to the ACC championship game either.

Texas crushes Missouri. (Insert Obligatory ‘Don’t Mess With Texas’ Headline Here)

California gets ranked the second time in the season just to get beaten again.

South Carolina fails to win a third game in a row. (Snicker)

Finally. My beloved Red Sox are still alive thanks to this fat-ass. Of course TBS has an epic fail due to technically difficulties.

“Two circuit breakers in our Atlanta transmission operations tripped causing the master router and its backup – which are necessary to transmit any incoming feed outbound – to shut down. This impacted our live feed from being distributed to any of the other networks in the Turner portfolio and caused the delay in our coverage. Both our primary and backup routers were impacted by this problem. We apologize to baseball fans for this mishap that caused a delay in our coverage.”

Everyone wanting to watch the game in the U.S. had to wade through about 20 minutes of a rerun of the Steve Harvey Show, and missed BJ Upton’s solo home run in the bottom of the first inning.

I’m no expert on TV transmission system design, but wouldn’t you think that your backup system would be isolated from your main system such that a circuit breaker going down wouldn’t take them both off line? Isn’t that, you know, the point of a backup system?

Way to go TBS…& where is the apology to those that might be upset about missing the last 10 minutes of the show? They might have wanted to see more wacky shenanigans.

Posted in ACC Football, Alabama Crimson Tide, Arizona Wildcats, Arkansas Razorbacks, Big East, big ten football, Big Twelve Football, boston college, Boston Red Sox, BYU, Clemson Tigers, Coach Rich Rodriguez, Dabo Swinney, Georgia Bulldogs, Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, Houston Nutt, Kentucky Wildcats, Major League Baseball, Michigan State Spartons, Michigan Wolverines, Missouri Tigers, North Carolina Tarheels, ohio state buckeyes, Oklahoma sooners, Oklahoma State Cowboys, ole miss rebels, Pac 10 football, Penn State Nittany Lions, Purdue, Red Sox, Rutgers, SEC Football, South Carolina Gamecocks, Sox Rock!, Syracuse Orangemen, Texas A&M, Texas Christian, Texas Longhorns, Texas Tech Red Raiders, tOSU, Uga, University of California berkeley, University of South Florida, upsets, Vanderbilt Commodores, vandy, Virginia Cavaliers, Virginia Tech, Wisconsin Badgers, yankees suck | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »