The WNBA must do something to survive

Did you know there’s an all women’s NBA? No? I’m not surprised in fact this one sentence from the Detroit Free Press summed up the WNBA and its chances for survival.

“Braving the chill, several hundred people stopped by Campus Martius Park shortly after noon today to celebrate the Shock’s third WNBA championship in the last six years.”

What they don’t realize is that one of those people was Eminem, and the rest of the people were his posse plus they just happened to be walking by on the way to White Castle. They stopped for the bake sale, stayed for the trophies.

You know they’re apathetic when Detritions won’t even burn a car for warmth.

The WNBA is a struggling sports league. In fact how many people even realized that the finals were taking place? Quickly I want a show of hands…uh huh that’s what I thought.

You see there are plenty of things that are better than watching the WNBA such as:

• Not watching TV
• Being hit repeatedly in the head with a large stick
• Contracting pneumonia

In case your head has been up you own ass lately the economy is really struggling. With a struggling economy comes financial struggles for the teams that make up the WNBA.

So what can the WNBA do to bring in ratings that would equate to more advertisement revenue which of course equals mo’ money mo’ money mo’ money for everyone.

Now I’ve been brainstorming this for a good amount of time, at least 2 minutes.

• Get rid of overtime and replace it with a strip-off
• Clone Candice Parks enough times so every team can have at least one great player
• All WNBA player make the same regardless of talent level so allow more competition by playing the really players more than the average bench warmer.
• Allow some of the NBA washouts to play at least 10 minutes every game. (If that were to happen I predict Joakim Noah would be in the WNBA today the problem is it would be really hard to tell the difference from him and the ladies)
• Think topless and pudding…
• Since it’s been said that WNBA caters to the lesbian crowd, have hot “bi-curious” cheerleaders. (Hell I would even watch just for that)
• Don’t allow fans like this in the building: (17 second mark)

Whatever becomes of the WNBA will to happen soon because as a league the television ratings and general coverage have been slipping drastically.

If you don’t believe me then ask yourself one simple question:

When was the last time you were excited about going to a WNBA game?

Melee at the end of WNBA game ends in ejections

The WNBA has been struggling for television viewers and reverence since its inception, finally has a good old cat fight, thus giving me a reason to write about it.

Tennessee Goddess Candace Parker and the Los Angeles Sparks score a win over the Detroit Shock. Unfortunately, it will be the final five seconds that everyone else is going to remember.

Goddess Parker was one of three players ejected along with Detroit assistant coach Rick “Bad Boy” Mahorn after a somewhat entertaining melee with 4.6 seconds left.

“To be honest, I don’t recall exactly what happened,” said Goddess Parker, who led Los Angeles with 21 points. “I’ll have to watch the tape.”

The cat fight started moments after Goddess Parker and Detroit’s Cheryl Ford had to be separated after Ford fouled Parker.

On the next possession, Goddess Parker got tangled up with Detroit’s Plenette Pierson and fell to the ground. As she was getting up, Pierson in bitch mode & intentionally ran into her, setting off the melee.

Goddess Parker threw a punch at Pierson before being tackled by Detroit’s Deanna Nolan. Players and coaches from both teams joined in, and Mahorn knocked Lisa Leslie to the court at one point.

“I was trying to protect the whole game, the integrity of the game,” he said. “The WNBA is very special to me because I have four daughters. I don’t even raise my hand to them, and I would never push a woman. This game, I love this game too much.”

“Rick Mahorn is known as a peacemaker, from even the brawl we had here with Indiana,” Detroit coach Bill Laimbeer said. “He went out there to get people off the pile and to get people to stop the confrontation. That’s who he is, that’s what he does.”

All in all I like Mahorn but I don’t think he was playing piece maker I think his emotions got the better of him. The last thing Mahorn was known for when he was playing the game was a piece maker.

Keeping the piece…nothing to see here folks

However Los Angeles coach Michael Cooper feels Mahorn was trying to stop the fight.

“I think Rick was trying to play peacemaker, but he’s just too big,” Sparks coach Michael Cooper said. “I was only trying to grab my players, and I didn’t see exactly what happened, but he apparently gently tried to push Lisa away.”

DeLisha Milton-Jones shoved and punched Mahorn after the incident with Leslie and was ejected, along with Mahorn, Goddess Parker and Pierson. Nolan and Shannon Bobbitt each received technical fouls.

“That was unfortunate, but things like that happen in basketball sometimes,” Milton-Jones said. “The league is going to have to decide what kind of action to take.”

Ford sprained her right knee while trying to restrain Pierson and left the floor in a wheelchair. Her status is unknown.

“I’m glad that none of our players got hurt, and I hope that Cheryl is OK,” Cooper said.

The brawl marred a key victory for Los Angeles, which came in having lost four of five.