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Letters of love: The whirlwind romance of Boston Red Sox owner John Henry

Posted by Thomas the Terrible on May 4, 2009

As a diehard Boston Red Sox fan I have a lot of respect for the owner of the team John Henry. Like many other owners of professional sports teams he knows what he wants and how to get it. Fortune, power, the Red Sox, a decent parking spot near Fenway Park and a fiancé that’s 30-year younger than him. 

Boston Magazine recently did a profile on the love affair about him and his fiancé Linda that tells the story of this love affair from beginning to now that took about 3 days to read due to the ridiculous length of it. The article reprints Henry’s late night email to her. 

“Dear Linda, 

A man needs a muse. Well, he doesn’t really. He doesn’t need nearly as much as he generally thinks he does. A man is greedy. Greedy for what he doesn’t think he has and what he thinks he wants. 

We probably wouldn’t have wandered far beyond the basic necessities without that pushing us. Progress is one of its most important byproducts. 

So you will ask, “Why are you writing this?” Because a brief encounter-and-a-half with you gave a cool spin to this little blue planet from my vantage point. 

We feted the Celtics tonight and the skies opened. The sun emerged and created a giant rainbow between the city and the park. We were transfixed.

You only saw it if you were in the right place. I was in the right place when I noticed you. 

I barely know you. I don’t have any illusions about capturing your heart. But the world is brighter, better, lighter and warmer when a man imbues a woman he knows-even tabula rasa-with the attributes I believe reside in you. It’s the small things that ultimately matter. The subtle things. 

I am honest. I don’t play games. And I see no reason not to say that I’ve been smitten by you and you’ve done me a great service. 

You’ve very innocently made my world brighter, better, lighter and warmer. 

So thanks. 

No response is necessary because a man doesn’t need nearly as much as he thinks he does.” 

Cue the panty dropping porno music. 

Ok now let’s look at this from Linda’s perspective: 

Dear Linda, 

I’m rich as fuck. You’ll be entitled to half of it in 15 years. Wanna fuck?

Yours in Christ, 

John W. Henry 

Anyone else think he wrote the letter by candle light, using a fountain pen and parchment? However I think John Henry clearly stole some of the lines from Thom Brennaman’s letters to Tebow.   

Whatever the case it certainly worked, the two lovebirds are set to married where death will most likely end this whirlwind romance leaving Linda to battle over the estate with Henry’s ex-wife and daughter.

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