This video of a Yankee-Marlins fight that occurred in the stands should get some sort of an award

Who doesn’t enjoy watching a random fight in the stand between two people you don’t know? Let’s fact it majority of this country does. That’s why shows like Most Shocking Videos thrive on the airwaves. 

A great place to find a video of a random beat down is YouTube. However most are grainy because they were taken on cell phone cameras and none really capture the tragedy, thrills, trepidation and tear-jerking childhood suffering trauma like this video of an altercation from this past Yankees-Marlins series. This is the Godfather of all Youtube videos!!!! 

Naturally we do not know what started this however we can plainly see who finished it. The Yankee fan and Marlin fan are going toe to toe when the Yankee takes somewhat of a cheap shot in the form of a haymaker. Then Mrs. Marlin Fan jumps in a “stand by your man” moment of violence, all the while Marlin fan prepares to do his best “Superfly Jimmy Snuka” impersonation off the railing that sends Yankee fan tumbling. For some reason security isn’t around and of course there are people attempting to break up the fight. Then come the moment that shocks your system and melts the apathy from your dead heart when the camera pans to the Yankee fan’s young daughter crying her eyes out. 

Give credit to the cameraman for keeping cool in a tense situation and bringing this quality stadium fight to YouTube. 

That Yankees fan is just lucky that Little Guido only clotheslined him and didn’t put him in a Sicilian Crab.

The question is: Did it taste like chicken?

As I mentioned in an earlier posting, spring is here, the pollen count is up and more South Carolina Gamecocks are being arrested and/or suspended. 

The latest victim…err….perpetrator is fullback Dustyn McElroy. The Po Po says that the 22 year-old was getting his St. Patrick’s drink on at a bar called the Village Idiot in the dreaded Five Points area of Columbia. While there at the Idiot, this moron is involved in an altercation where his Hannibal Lecter shown through and he bit…yes bit another man on the face. 

I have to ask: Did he taste like chicken? I mean really. According to the report, when a man tried to break up the fight, McElroy placed him in a “bear hug” and bit him on the left cheek, causing a “severe facial laceration.” 

Apparently McElroy wasn’t satisfied with the taste of human flesh and then decide to punch & shatter a storefront window of an art gallery that is adjacent to the Village Idiot.

Michael Jeffcoat, McElroy’s attorney, claims McElroy acted in self-defense after seven men jumped him on the sidewalk outside the bar.

“He’d been attacked by seven guys and he just wanted to get away,” Jeffcoat said. “They jumped on him and he didn’t have any choice but to defend himself.”

I have to agree. I know that if I was jumped by numerous people I would have to punch a storefront window. That’s in the Chuck Norris self defense manual. 

This isn’t the first time McElroy has been in trouble with the law, he pleaded guilty in November to a previous charge of assault and battery of a high and aggravated nature, and was sentenced to 18 months probation.

Pacman Jones has a job…for now

Well it appears that Pacman Jones is gainfully employed, at least for the time being. Jones is one of the “Pros” on the TV show Pros vs. Joes. Since this is Pacman we are discussing it should be noted that he is already causing trouble. Imagine that! So far his “after football” career is starting to sound like a bad Will Farrell movie…

LA Times sports writer Sam Farmer stopped by the set of the show to witness a bunch of wannabes against a bunch of aging and/or derelict former professional athletes. There was an incident between Pacman and former Holy Cross linebacker Dan Adams:

“Anyway, Adams stuck Jones at the goal line, jarring loose the football. It was pretty funny, because Jones had been talking trash to that point, referring to Adams as “Waterboy.” A few minutes after the hit, the two exchanged punches and had to be separated.

“He hit me 10 yards out of bounds, kind of a cheap shot,” Adams said. “I couldn’t sit there and not retaliate. You’ve got to have some pride and dignity.”

As for the oft-suspended Jones, released by the Dallas Cowboys after the season, he didn’t seem too concerned about how he came off on camera.

“I guess that’s the person he wants to be,” Adams said. “But I guess in his defense, people kind of get caught up in the heat of the moment.”

That’s right folks you have to have some pride and dignity…says the guy who is non-ironically a contestant on fucking Pros vs. Joes.

I guess Pacman never actually saw that movie. Everyone knows not to mess with Waterboy. What is he? Nuts? Oh, right. This incident will inevitably lead to the spin-off “Makin’ It Rain vs. Bringin’ the Pain” with Terry Tate.

This is the closest to professional football that Jones will ever get to again. It’s time for the Pros vs. Joes production team to move to threat level orange. For some reason I believe Jones wants to get thrown off the show, that way TNA Wrestling will see he’s a fighter and invite him back to the squared ring.

I doubt it would be legal, but if this show actually degenerates into honest-to-God spontaneous bare-knuckle fisticuffs it could blow up in the ratings.

Forget Pros vs. Joes; just wait until you see Pacman’s upcoming reality series, Pros vs. Hoes.

Rumor has it that Jones also displayed certain tendencies of PTSD, saying after the taping, “You gotta take your shot at Blinky when you get the chance.”

Mascot ejected, the coaches fight at the end…somewhere in here there was a basketball game played

In case you missed the Tulane-Rice game and most of you did, you missed a very entertaining collection of unfortunate events.

First off the Rice mascot, Sammy the Owl, get ejected from the game for head butting the ref. Check the video at the 1:39 mark.

It’s rumored that his post-game statement was “They knew what I was when they hired me.” Hoot does he think he is anyway? In the owl’s defense, the ref wouldn’t shut up about licking tootsie pops.

Next let’s move the end of the game where Kevin Sims went coast-to-coast and scored the game winning lay-up. Tulane coach Dave Dickerson was understandability happy and high fived some of his players before taking the time to shake hands with the Rice coaching staff. That upset the Rice coaching staff and a melee ensues. Lovely…check the 1:23 mark on the video.

Broken Plays: Don’t expect too much from us this week

With this being the week of Christmas it’s just a fair warning of not to expect too much from us this week.

Joel has a family which comes first and I have to drink a lot of bourbon and play Santa and the mall. (I’m just kidding about the Santa part) HO HO Hell!

Another South Carolina coach says “Screw you guys I’m going to Tennessee!” South Carolina strength coach Mark Smith has accepted an offer to join new Tennessee coach Lane Kiffin’s staff in the same capacity. Smith is considered one the best in the business and here is a collection of before and after pictures of Smith’s work.

Eric Berry can potentially kill someone now; it’s scary to imagine that boy any bigger.

It’s King Kiffin’s Kourt and don’t you forget it! King Kiffin attended the Tennessee basketball game this past Saturday and was asked about upsetting God Spurrier and loser interim Raiders coach Tom Cable with the recent coaching hires.

“I don’t really care,” Kiffin said Saturday. “I got a job to do in our athletic department and that’s to put together the best staff we can put together and the best players we can put together. I’m not really concerned about that stuff.

“If Steve’s concerned about my test, I got 39 out of 40,” Kiffin said, responding to comments made by South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier about whether Kiffin had passed the required NCAA recruiting test before contacting prospects. “I’d like to see what he got.”

Boom….headshot….I love it.

The photo above validates my desire to become a NFL referee. Garth DiFelice lays to wood on Saint Louis Rams Kenneth Darby with Tyson like precision. Who knew DiFelice vs. Darby would have more clean shots than Holyfield vs. Valuev?

Also Oakland showed that they have some life left in them. Not that I care but I wanted to use this picture.

Pacman makes it rain without showing remorse. This chick made it snow and is a crying mess, however she can sweep up the floor. She apparently set off the fire alarm during finals week at Okalahoma but I think she crying over the fear of Bob Stoops losing yet another BCS bowl game.

Don’t forget your dignity while you’re sweeping there, honey. I think I saw it over there by the dust bunnies.

College Football Week 14 is in the books & here’s what I learned

Yes folks I decided to take some time away from writing and enjoy the Thanksgiving weekend, I hope you had a pleasant and happy Thanksgiving.

I dub yesterday as disappointment day with the exception of Tennessee. I don’t mean to gloat, well…actually I do but this is the worst team that Tennessee has even placed on the field and yet Kentucky still couldn’t beat them. The streak lives on because Tennessee is Tennessee and Kentucky is Kentucky.

I’ll have a full write up on that game tomorrow.

Notre Dame put up a fight against USC at least until kickoff occurred. The Irish kept interrupting the Trojans’ pregame warmups which resulted in punches thrown and the Po Po intervening. Of course in the end Southern Cal proved what everyone knows and that is Notre Dame is a horrid team. Next stop on the Brian Kelly rumor-mill…why I’m betting Notre Dame.

Georgia seriously screws my picks up and loses to Georgia Tech.

Same old South Carolina, they still can’t beat their arch rivals the Clemson Tigers even though Clemson has an interim head coach. Hopefully this win will lead to Clemson offering the job to Dabo Swinney.

The Ole Ball (Sac) Coach is plenty mad after this embarrassment which lead Spurrier to degrade his players even further publicly. Honestly I’m wondering if he has lost this team. The reason I say that is because at the end of the game South Carolina tried to start a fight instead of shaking hands…classless.

Florida did what everyone thought they would do and beat up Florida State.

With Boston College and Virginia Tech both winning yesterday it looks like a rematch is set for the ACC title game. The same game that didn’t sell 50% of the tickets last year. Joy…

Alabama ends the Auburn winning streak they had against Bama…rather soundly at that. Time will tell if Auburn is foolish enough to fire Coach Turbeville.

No Rose bowl for you Oregon State, unless by some miracle UCLA can upset Southern Cal. Oregon State got hammered by the ugly uniform wearing Ducks of Oregon.

Oklahoma and Oklahoma State was a closer game than what the score indicates and it was a great game. Hats off to both teams.

Broken Plays: Be glad you managed to get anything out of me today

I feel like this poor kid in the below video expect sick. This hit will be featured on Lil’ Faces of Death DVD series.

Angie that’s not enough bleach! You must use more! Some cheerleading beauties from Chapin high school in El Paso, TX were caught making “special” brownies for they cross town rivals. You put a lot of love, time, bleach, laxatives & rat poison in them. But the cupcakes were also infused with school spirit! That has to count for something.

The F$U football teams prepares to face Boston College this weekend by kicking some ass. According to I Bleed Garnet and Gold this fight was one for the ages.

“Well, it all started on {last week} Thursday when they started fighting at Floyd’s over some girl. Then yesterday at the union, a group of WR’s jumped the sigmas in the union. It turned into an all out brawl. The Sigmas were getting dragged up the stairs of Moore Auditorium and thrown through tables.

Someone got stabbed in the face with a pencil. A girl trying to split up the fight got punched in the face and another girl was hit in the face with a chair because a Sigma threw a chair at [WR Corey] Surrency and he ducked.”

You’d think they’d prepare for BC by beating up on the Catholic fraternity.

Remember Derrick MCfadden’s car? Well here’s William Moore’s car. He’s a senior safety for the Tigers. All that picture needs are 2 dead bodies and the coda from “Layla” playing in the background.

You Halloween costume was not this good. Unfortunately, Mangino ate the baby after mistaking it for an M&M.

Sometimes when Cubs fans fight each other there is a loser

The end is near because the Cubs are inching ever so close to a World Series title after 100 years of being pathetic but lovable losers. Which of course means the ever so arrogant Cubs fans will become even more arrogant but they will fail to reach the arrogance of Yankee fans.

I’ll admit I can’t stand the Cubs so when I see their own fans fight amongst themselves like in the video below I laugh and laugh hardily at that.

Sometimes there is a loser when Cub fans fight and that loser is society in general. A fight among Cubs fans jawing inside a tavern about their team’s division-clinching game sparked the death of a 41-year-old man over the weekend.

That’s sad and I’m being sarcastic either.

Robert Ulmer, a Cubs fan was killed early Sunday outside some dive called the Apartment Lounge according to the police.

A relative of Ulmer’s got into a fight inside the bar with two Cubs fans who had attended the team’s 5-4 division clincher against the St. Louis Cardinals.

Ulmer, also a Cubs fan, according to what his family told police, was at the bar but not at the game.

The exact details of what happened inside the tavern still are not clear. But the fight eventually spilled onto the street, where Ulmer was beaten by two men who used their fists and feet. Police were investigating whether Ulmer was kicked in the head.

Two people were being interviewed about the attack against Ulmer but so far charges were not filed as of yesterday.

So you see folks. There are indeed losers when Cubs fans fight with other Cubs fans. It’s a game people and that’s all it will ever be. I’m still not sure why anyone would want to fight with the fans of the very team you support. Someone please help me with that.

I believe Ken Lucas is looking for another ass whipping

Lucas after Smith schooled him

Many of you may remember that on August 1^st, Carolina Panthers wide receiver Steve “Hands of Stone” Smith punched beat the hell out of cornerback Ken Lucas.

Apparently Lucas didn’t learn his lesson. Even though Lucas punked by someone who at least 18 inches shorter than him, he is now talking trash about Smith in the press. In an interview for the Charlotte Observer he states:

“I’m not going to lie to you and tell you it was easy,” says Lucas. “I never thought I could.”

He adds: “I could have hurt him in a serious way.”

However in fairness to Lucas he also might have realized his error during the interview or he remembers the pain that Smith put him though because he then states:

“It could have ended a lot of different ways,” says Lucas. “I could have lost my eyesight, I could have lost consciousness, I could have lost my life.”

Well I’m glad Smith didn’t kill you. Can we say drama queen everyone?

Smith has been suspended for two games but that’s really just to train for a fight with the world’s toughest man Chuck Norris. Smith refuses to comment on Lucas’s cowardly statements to the press. After all Smith will let his actions do the talking.