Call your bookie now because Texas A&M will win a national championship next year

I’m not sure if this is a joke or if this kid is just high on some peyote mushrooms he picked up while visiting Waco. Someone please remind him that Nebraska and Syracuse also ran NFL “Pro-Style” offenses.

Oklahoma you just lost to the “4th best QB” in the Big 12

Congratulations Florida on winning the BCS title. Also Florida finishes first in both polls (Sorry Utah).  At least Oklahoma made game was entertaining.

Someday Bob Stoops will win a BCS bowl game again.

Iowa State fondly remembers Gene Chizik

This was taken from Iowa State central campus web-cam. Charles Barkely would have written the message in yellow.

Broken plays for the weekending 12/19/08

Well many have whispered it in the past and now it’s coming full circle. Dan Hawkins the head football coach for Colorado is officially delusional. Even though he has yet to post a winning season in the three years he’s been at Colorado, Hawkins predicts a 10 win season for 2009.

It’s division 1 football!!! Classic meltdown but now looking at the aftermath such as that prediction I pity him.

Nude cheerleaders + cell phone = the best paragraph ever written in The State Journal.

But first let me explain the situation: Apparently at Harding Middle School in Steubenville, Ohio, there are some nude photos of the school’s cheerleaders. Somehow…someway the perverted janitor, Mr. DeSimone, has them on his cell phone. Of course being a custodial engineer he shows great common sense and judgment by showing the photos to other students.

All that leads us to the funniest paragraph written in the history of mankind!!!

We are learning that all four of the pictures were naked cheerleaders exposing their tops. Detectives said that after confiscating his phone, it has been sent away and is under going testing to determine how the pictures got there. Decimone was suppose to be in court yesterday, but his attorney did not show up.

Things like this never happened when I was in school. For one, janitors couldn’t afford cell phones, and we liked it that way!

Tank top, necklace, backwards visor....so Hasselhoff is a Gators fan?

Are you getting all excited about the Las Vegas Bowl? No? Well if I told that David Hasselhoff will serenade the National Anthem to the Morons, would you be more enthusiastic?

It’s a step up for the Hoff, who is usually singing to Morons.

He really needs to be a spokesman for NutriSystem so he can loose some of that weight. Also, to punch Boomer in the face.

Good God Mike Tyson got fat!!!! He did it. He finally ate Lennox Lewis’s children.

Forget street cred, it's all about Cosmo cred now. Wait until Josh breaks out the old NBA short-shorts because they accentuate his calves more

Remember Josh Howard? Instead of being famous for his basketball skillz, he’s more famous for admitting he smoked pot in the off-season and then followed that up by saying negative things about the National Anthem last September.

Now however we can get to know the more gentle side of Josh as he explores his metrosexuality as he tells the Dallas Morning News about his favorite skin products.

• “Nobody likes dry lips. To keep mine kissable, I use Aveeno Essential Moisture Lip Conditioner”
• “To keep my cheeks kissable, too, I opt for Aloe Soothing Day Cream.”
• “After running the court, it’s always nice to have a foot massage, then a little maintenance with Farmhouse Fresh Foot Scrubs in Sugared Maple. This stuff smells so good.”

ENOUGH ALREADY GO SMOKE A BLUNTG! Sheesh

Oh whatever, he was probably just stoned when he said that stuff….

Check the screen grab out. From Fox Sports, sure the headline is correct but read the article. The writer is clearly showing some Tebow love.

Click to read the story

Sam Bradford, who looks kind of like Luke Walton’s retarded younger brother, couldn’t hold Tebow’s scalpel. Foreskinless children everywhere are demanding both a recount and the return of their foreskins.

While Andy Kennedy may or may not have beaten a taxi driver, the 3^rd Saturday in Blogtober clearly had the best headline about the story. Check out Kennedy’s mugshot, I swear he looks high.

YMSWWC’s Awesome F**cking Guide to the 2008 Bowl Season! (With pictures this year)

This would have been posted earlier but I kinda sorted screwed up and forgot to send Joel the bowl schedule. Yeah, my bad, I’m a dick. Whatever. Anywho let’s go over this year bowl schedule and mine and Joel’s picks and then you call your bookie.

This year there is a smorgasbord of crap-tastic games to choose from! Yay!

Non-BCS Bowls

EagleBank Bowl
When: Dec. 20, 11 a.m., ESPN
Where: Washington
Who: Navy vs. Wake Forest

Joel says: Anchors aweigh. I really wish Navy would have beat Notre Dame again this year. Wait, this is a real bowl game???

Thomas says: I pick Navy because I’m sick and damn tired of hearing how the Wake Forest is so good. Blah blah blah. Is this bowl game being funded by any of the bailout money by the way?

Something Tells Me that Iowa State Fans will be Rejoicing

Before I begin I feel the AD of my beloved VOLS, Mike Hamilton, needs to publicly thank Auburn for making the hiring of Lane Kiffin look brilliant.

Gene Chizik will be introduced later today as Auburn’s new head football coach as soon as that is done Iowa State fans will rejoice because they have a chance to hire a coach that can win more than 5 games in a two year span.

I seriously question this hire by Auburn and I’m not the only one. Below are comments taken from different Auburn message boards.

“Is this a fucking joke? I’m never going to another game!”

“Fire AD Jacobs!”

And Kevin Scarbinsky had some comments about Chizik as well.

One former SEC assistant heard the news and laughed out loud.

One former Auburn assistant who worked alongside Chizik reacted with stunned silence.

One college football insider who knows both the current Alabama boss and the man Auburn has chosen to battle him said Chizik is a good coach – but Nick Saban will eat him for breakfast.

I can fully understand all of these comments. Iowa State, who Chizik is leaving is in a current 10 game losing streak and among all 119 Division I FBS teams, the team ranked 111th in total defense, 115th in passing defense, and 95th in rushing defense.

ISU athletic director Jamie Pollard stated in a press release:

“I’m disappointed for our Iowa State fans and student-athletes that he has chosen to leave our program after only two seasons. I understand that (Auburn) is a dream job for him, but the timing and the way it played out has been hurtful and disappointing.”

Yeah right…that’s the PC way of saying “Woo Hoo now we don’t have to pay a buyout!”

“I know that we have found the right fit for Auburn,” Auburn athletic director Jay Jacobs said in a statement, describing Chizik as “a high-energy coach that is an outstanding motivator and demands a tough, physical style of football.”

Bob Lowder is the Auburn booster that runs the program (the AD is his hand puppet). All I can say is that Lowder’s hatred of Tuberville must be exponentially greater than his love for Auburn. This is a serious downgrade from Tuberville. I think this will keep them in the bottom half of the West. Bama, LSU, and Ole Miss will stay above them. With the improvement at the end of the year at Arkansas, Auburn could be battling Miss State for the cellar the next few years. If I were an Auburn season ticket holder, I wouldn’t renew. I don’t even have a dog in this fight, and I’m irked at a bad hire in the SEC.

Here’s a video of  Auburn fans heckling Jacobs over the Chizik hire…not a pleasant site but a funny one. From this day forward I’m calling Chizik, “Mean Gene the Losing Machine”, that’s right I’ve tagged it.

Nothing, Nada, Zip

Due to unforseen circumstances involving stuff that really isn’t any of your business, there will not be an update for this AM. So like sorry. I’ll try to pump out some witty lines this afternoon.

Wait I do have a small something though.

Prepare to be disgusted.

This here is Texas Tech offensive lineman Brandon Carter:

Mommy, Can I Go Out and Kill Tonight?

Truly a face only a mother or Marilyn Manson could love. Looks like someone watched “The Program” one too many times right?

Well…here comes the sick part. Watch him moon the entire viewing audience in the video below, without him even knowing he did it.

I know, you’re hurling about now. I warned ya though!

Have a great day all! 🙂

College Football Week 14 is in the books & here’s what I learned

Yes folks I decided to take some time away from writing and enjoy the Thanksgiving weekend, I hope you had a pleasant and happy Thanksgiving.

I dub yesterday as disappointment day with the exception of Tennessee. I don’t mean to gloat, well…actually I do but this is the worst team that Tennessee has even placed on the field and yet Kentucky still couldn’t beat them. The streak lives on because Tennessee is Tennessee and Kentucky is Kentucky.

I’ll have a full write up on that game tomorrow.

Notre Dame put up a fight against USC at least until kickoff occurred. The Irish kept interrupting the Trojans’ pregame warmups which resulted in punches thrown and the Po Po intervening. Of course in the end Southern Cal proved what everyone knows and that is Notre Dame is a horrid team. Next stop on the Brian Kelly rumor-mill…why I’m betting Notre Dame.

Georgia seriously screws my picks up and loses to Georgia Tech.

Same old South Carolina, they still can’t beat their arch rivals the Clemson Tigers even though Clemson has an interim head coach. Hopefully this win will lead to Clemson offering the job to Dabo Swinney.

The Ole Ball (Sac) Coach is plenty mad after this embarrassment which lead Spurrier to degrade his players even further publicly. Honestly I’m wondering if he has lost this team. The reason I say that is because at the end of the game South Carolina tried to start a fight instead of shaking hands…classless.

Florida did what everyone thought they would do and beat up Florida State.

With Boston College and Virginia Tech both winning yesterday it looks like a rematch is set for the ACC title game. The same game that didn’t sell 50% of the tickets last year. Joy…

Alabama ends the Auburn winning streak they had against Bama…rather soundly at that. Time will tell if Auburn is foolish enough to fire Coach Turbeville.

No Rose bowl for you Oregon State, unless by some miracle UCLA can upset Southern Cal. Oregon State got hammered by the ugly uniform wearing Ducks of Oregon.

Oklahoma and Oklahoma State was a closer game than what the score indicates and it was a great game. Hats off to both teams.

The Latest From the Aggie Report

The comedy geniuses of the Aggie Report have produced a new abet lengthy video. Trust me it’s worth the watch. It focuses on the upcoming game against Texas.

College Football Week 12 is in the books & here’s what I learned

Let’s be honest. Yesterday offered a plethora of crappy games. On the bright side my beloved VOLS didn’t lose, of course they didn’t play but that’s not the point.

Clemson light Duke up. One more win and they’re bowl eligible.

Will Ron Zook be asked to step down after losing yet another game?

Look out Notre Dame is now bowl eligible even though Navy had a chance to win it in the end. Charles Weis really needs to look into doing some push-ups.

Georgia and the penalties they accrue almost cost them the game against Auburn.

Florida hammered South Carolina which is absolutely hilarious to me. Living in Columbia you should have heard all the things the Cock fans were saying. Deuce Staley actually said on his weekly radio talk show, “Carolina’s defense can match up with anyone’s speed in the country.” Really Deuce? You couldn’t tell from their performance yesterday.

I continuously laugh when I watch TV ads for other schools. And then a Florida ad comes on. “Go Gators. Go cure cancer.” Oh, that seems pretty simple. Tebow will take care of that in between circumcisions this off-season.

Does anyone really want to win the ACC?

Miami should be thanking Maryland for beating North Carolina.

Wisconsin discovered something called a forward pass and beat Minnesota with it.

Has anyone noticed that Nebraska is bowl eligible yet?

Missouri wins the Big 12 North…yes people that still exists.

Florida State couldn’t control penalties & Boston College’s running game at the same time.

It can be said: Vandy is bowl eligible. Kentucky might have been still mourning the humiliating loss the basketball received at the hands of VMI the night before.

Washington is still winless go figure.

Houston doesn’t have a problem as they rack up 70 points against Tulsa.

LSU almost embarrassed themselves and the SEC yesterday.

Michigan endures their first 8 loss season ever. I’m sure they’re glad they hired Rich Rodriguez now.