For The Thug Who Has Everything

Now this is a present. This game is basically a Monopoly, but instead of “Go To Jail”, you try to break out of jail and/or get parole. This is a description of the game from the official website:

Fight your way through 6 different exciting locations in hopes of being granted parole. Escape prison riots in The Yard, slip glass into a mob boss’ lasagna in the Cafeteria, steal painkillers from the nurse’s desk in the Infirmary, avoid being cornered by the Aryans in the Shower Room, fight off Latin Kings in Gang War, and try not to smoke your entire stash in The Hole.

The artistry of each handcrafted piece is matched with comparable humor & intelligence on every card. Stack your smokes, sharpen your shank, and get ready for an experience that only someone on the outside could appreciate.

Wow. What more can be said. Check out the game pieces. Who among us played Monopoly as a kid and thought “Wouldn’t it be cool if instead of a thimble I could use a Glock as my game piece???”

What’s the sports connection??? Well let’s see: The founder of the company and game is John Sebelius, son of Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius. Kansas is where America’s “favorite” marijuana smuggling (and smoking), lawsuit avoiding, Valtrex popping, inaccurate throwing, dog killing QB Michael Vick is currently doing his time. But let’s think of the endless possibilities..

How about a “Playmakers” Edition featuring O.J., his white Bronco, memorabilia, copy of “If I Did It”, and a Naked Gun DVD for playing pieces???

Or a “Ballers” Edition, with Kobe attached to a blonde female hotel clerk, Roy Tarpley, transcripts of Tim Donaghy’s gambling probe, Jack Sikma’s perm, and WNBA TV Ratings???

Lastly, what about a “Juiced” version, with Jose Canseco, Barry Bonds, Marion Jones, a syringe, and a torn record book???

If they market this game right, it could be a gold mine. Of course, someone needs to mail some of these games to all SEC schools, so they can play as part of the “Super Secret Double Probation”…