Isiah Thomas is employed again no really he is

In a state known more for hurricanes, mullets and jorts comes one man to turn the college basketball scene upside down and that is Isiah Thomas. 

Now history tells us that Isiah Thomas as a coach is well…dreadful but that was at the pro level. There is no telling what he will or can do at a college level. However I believe that Thomas’ qualifications to coach a college team are nil. 

Let’s run review his qualifications and I’ll you decide: 

• 30 years ago he played 2 years for Bobby Knight
• He took a conference champion to a .500 record and three straight first-round playoff defeats. 
• He bankrupted the entire ABA league.
• He ruined the New York Knicks who at the time was a historically proud NBA franchise. 

Those things alone should bring fear to any athlete director but then there are these things that took place when he was in charge of the Knicks to consider: 

• An $11 million sexual harassment suit
• Accusations of racism
• Stephan Marbury
• OD’ing on sleeping pills to only blame the daughter
• He’s an asshole 

It would be hard for Florida International not to get better considering their record this past season and the antics of Thomas’ past might even land them some games on ESPN but did they sell their soul in order to obtain Thomas? We see what a disaster he was at the Knicks so you should wonder if he is even capable at reading an NCAA rulebook. However you can look at it like this: If Isiah can find another job; the economy must finally be on the mend. 

Rumor has it that the students have already petitioned to change the school’s abbreviation:

Fuck.

Isiah?

Uuuuuuugggggggh. 

In a related story, Flip Saunders has agreed to coach the Wizards. 

This is the man that FIU should have hired!

When (sports) parents go over the top

This posting will be a semi-funny/semi-serious posting. I’m going to look at three very different situations of when parents of athletes or if the parent is an athlete, go really over the top.

The first case is Tye Burke

Tye is an above average soccer dad. His daughter plays soccer so being a good dad he attends all the games. He also is teaching his little one how to treat other people with respect and keeping your cool. That is if you consider pointing a loaded gun at the head of the soccer coach’s husband respectful and keeping cool.

Investigators tell NewsChannel 11 that Burke got into a fight with the female coach of his child’s soccer team. The soccer association tells us the children playing at the time were between seven and eight years old. Apparently, the coach’s husband tried to stop Burke from yelling at his wife, and that’s when the two men got into an argument in the stands. The police report states that the victim pushed Burke, and then Burke pulled a handgun and pointed it at the victim’s head. Police say an off-duty prison guard tackled Burke, and got the gun away from him.

Just because you have a permit to carry a concealed weapon doesn’t mean you take it to a child’s soccer game. Only in Texas would a parent show up being heavily armed. Maybe he is just trying to compensate for being too much of a wimp to let his kid play youth football.

Isiah Thomas Acts as if He’s Done Nothing Wrong…What a Dork

Knicks president Donnie Walsh won’t make any decision on Isiah Thomas until at least Thursday, saying he wants to sleep on his thoughts about the team’s future before “rushing” into a decision. Basically that means he’s figuring out the proper wording to embarrass Thomas the way Thomas’ coaching skills (or lack thereof) have embarrassed the Knicks.

Walsh repeatedly deflected questions about Thomas’s fate Wednesday night, less than an hour before New York faced his former team, Indiana, in its season finale. Walsh still has not set a timetable for an announcement.

“I’m thinking all that out, being coach, whether it’s another role, and when I come to a final decision I’ll announce it,” Walsh said in the same building he called home just a month ago. “You know, these are people’s lives we’re dealing with and I’ve always treated it that way. So I think it deserves to be given that kind of dignity and respect.”

Hours before Walsh spoke, Thomas sounded like a man resigned to his fate. A man who knows his goose is cooked and since he ruined the CBA league, even that can’t save him now.

With rampant speculation about whether he’d return for a another failing season as Knicks coach, a subdued Thomas spoke philosophically about New York’s dismal season. He acknowledged it’s been one of the most challenging experiences he’s ever had in basketball and defended the job he did as both president, before Walsh arrived, and as coach.

Yes readers he defended his horrendous overall record and his asinine skills that somehow landed him a general managers position.

“What I’ve been asked to do and required to do by the Knicks, I’ve tried to perform to the best of my ability,” Thomas said before the team’s pregame shootaround. “This is a very disappointing season. I’m not used to being at the bottom. But this is what it’s like on the bottom, and this is how you get treated on the bottom. That’s how it is.”

Isiah you were asked to win games by the Knicks that hasn’t happened and if this is the best of ability then try another line of work. McDonalds is always hiring. So quit the Socrates act and step down like a man.

While the Knicks have endured seven straight losing seasons, none have compared with the turmoil of this one.

Thomas and guard Stephon Marbury engaged in a public feud that sent the season spiraling out of control after only five games. Marbury left the team in Phoenix after Thomas threatened to remove him from the starting lineup, and the Knicks lost their next six games.

Marbury was only part of the problem.

Thomas also had disagreements on the bench during games with Quentin Richardson and Zach Randolph, and his decision to replace center Eddy Curry in the starting lineup led to a loss of Curry’s confidence and a regression in his play.

“It’s hard not to take all that into consideration, because that’s the image of your franchise, but I don’t put that above doing the right thing,” Walsh said. “Obviously, some things have been much publicized and I’ve not gotten into those things. But it also overshadowed a lot of things he did that were very good for the New York Knicks.”

And even players are bracing for the expected offseason moves.

“We know that when the season winds down, there are going to be changes,” forward Jared Jeffries said, “because whenever you have a season as turbulent as we have, there are going to be changes.”

Only nine players dressed for the Knicks after their latest round of injuries. Travis Henry has nine kids alone. Backup forward Renaldo Balkman (USC dud) sat out after getting hurt in Monday night’s home finale against Boston, and forward Wilson Chandler sat out with a sprained left knee.

“I’m not looking for sympathy or anything like that,” Thomas said. “That’s sports, and basketball has been extremely good to me. You can’t be on top all the time, although I want to be. You’ve got to overcome the bad times and hold onto your dignity.”

To bad you won’t be able to hold on to your job.

“In basketball, just like in football or golf or baseball or whatever sport you choose, there are some times you get it right and some times you don’t,” he said. “I’ve had many high points in my life, and I’ve definitely had my low points. But none of it is permanent, and you keep moving forward.”

Not permanent? A church league team wouldn’t touch right now or next year or the year after or year after…

For The Thug Who Has Everything

Now this is a present. This game is basically a Monopoly, but instead of “Go To Jail”, you try to break out of jail and/or get parole. This is a description of the game from the official website:

Fight your way through 6 different exciting locations in hopes of being granted parole. Escape prison riots in The Yard, slip glass into a mob boss’ lasagna in the Cafeteria, steal painkillers from the nurse’s desk in the Infirmary, avoid being cornered by the Aryans in the Shower Room, fight off Latin Kings in Gang War, and try not to smoke your entire stash in The Hole.

The artistry of each handcrafted piece is matched with comparable humor & intelligence on every card. Stack your smokes, sharpen your shank, and get ready for an experience that only someone on the outside could appreciate.

Wow. What more can be said. Check out the game pieces. Who among us played Monopoly as a kid and thought “Wouldn’t it be cool if instead of a thimble I could use a Glock as my game piece???”

What’s the sports connection??? Well let’s see: The founder of the company and game is John Sebelius, son of Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius. Kansas is where America’s “favorite” marijuana smuggling (and smoking), lawsuit avoiding, Valtrex popping, inaccurate throwing, dog killing QB Michael Vick is currently doing his time. But let’s think of the endless possibilities..

How about a “Playmakers” Edition featuring O.J., his white Bronco, memorabilia, copy of “If I Did It”, and a Naked Gun DVD for playing pieces???

Or a “Ballers” Edition, with Kobe attached to a blonde female hotel clerk, Roy Tarpley, transcripts of Tim Donaghy’s gambling probe, Jack Sikma’s perm, and WNBA TV Ratings???

Lastly, what about a “Juiced” version, with Jose Canseco, Barry Bonds, Marion Jones, a syringe, and a torn record book???

If they market this game right, it could be a gold mine. Of course, someone needs to mail some of these games to all SEC schools, so they can play as part of the “Super Secret Double Probation”…

Italian-American Rappers Hate Isiah Thomas

It’s a sad day in Knicks franchise history and it’s not due to their 9-24 record, it’s due to the fact that Italian-American Rappers Hate Isiah Thomas. It would suck to be hated by Genovese and his group-mate Gustapo on many levels. One it’s not as cool as being hated by the Dixie Chicks or the Pope (like I am) and two because they actually made a song about it.

LISTEN TO THE SONG

First off that shizz is wack and mildly hilarious. Rap songs, protests, billboards, public scorn and ridicule — none of this matter to Dolan or Isaiah.

Re-arranging the line-up is like re-arranging deck chairs on the Titanic. The bottom line is that this team cannot defend, doesn’t work that hard, isn’t bothered by losing, has given up on the coach, has given up on its fans, and are happy collecting big paychecks for doing nothing.

Here’s what the two rappers had to say about the song:

GENOVESE: Basically, I’ve been a Knicks fan since I was a kid. I saw them through the 80’s, the 90’s and it gets to a point where even though I’m patient enough to wait to have a good team, with the whole scandal and all, it turned one of the greatest franchises ever in the a mockery. I always respected Isiah as a player and how he was on the court back in the day, but he brought us to a point where people come into the Garden and they’re laughing at us and they know they’re going to beat us. Back in the days, you couldn’t walk on the Garden court and get an easy lay-up, Charles Oakley would throw you to the ground. They just played with a lot of pride and now it’s just a joke. That can’t happen in New York, something has to be done.

GUSTAPO: Being a New Yorker and having a love for sports, I have pride in all our teams. I just feel it’s time that the Knicks need to shake things up and I think it’s the fans job to get the team to shake things up. Booing in the arena or just voicing your opinion is a way to make a difference. Being that we’re into music, we decided to speak on the Knicks through that. First Cousins shaking things up and getting rid of Isiah.

Nothing gets a coach fired faster than a rap song. Even though I would fire Isiah Thomas on how creepy he sounds in this video below.

.This I proclaim on 1/9/08.

TtT