South Carolina Receiver Embarrasses Steve Spurrier by Requesting a Jury Trial

The last thing Steve God Spurrier wants right now is attention drawn to the merry band of USC thugs. Back on February 19^th I posted about a couple of USC players getting busted by the Po Po with a pot charge but of course much like even though Spurrier is the USC coach and they’re still losing, this simple charge isn’t the end of this.

Dion “Yo Hold that Smoke In Bro” Lecorn has foolishly asked for a jury trial. The reason I say it’s a foolish choice is because;

• Lecorn, & freshman receiver Matt Clements told police they had been smoking marijuana in Lecorn’s car
• The Po Po found the joint in the ashtray
• Lecorn told officers the pot belonged to him

And yet let’s ask for a jury trial. It is unclear how the request will affect Lecorn’s status for spring drills (if any), which begin today with the first of 15 practices.

Even Lecorn’s attorney, Lowell Bernstein, is unclear about having to actually go to trial. Bernstein left open the possibility that Lecorn could apply for pretrial intervention or a similar diversion program for first-time offenders facing drug or alcohol charges.

“We just weren’t ready to proceed (Thursday) because we didn’t have any of the evidence,” Bernstein said. “I just want to look at everything first. So I’m not sure. There may be some alternatives like (PTI).”

That’s a first, an attorney avoiding a trial and higher legal fees, oh wait he knows he will lose the case…never mind. Maybe Lecorn should pull a Kevin Young & request a SLED investigation into his statements he made to the Po Po. What a way to kick off spring practice. Go Cocks!

You Call That Discipline? Let the OBC Show You what Discipline is all About.

Phil Fulmer you call your police ride-a-long program weak discipline? I think not. Nick Saban you call your double secret probation punishment weak discipline? Obviously it isn’t. Urban Meyer you call your idea of suspending players for games against 1-AA schools weak discipline? Try again. Sit down boys and let Steve God Spurrier show you just how weak discipline should be administered.

Last Sunday morning at 1:30 AM offensive lineman Kevin Young was arrested and charged with fighting and resisting arrest in the infamous Five Points area. This was the perfect opportunity for God Spurrier to try out his latest version of SEC discipline that was inspired by Berry Switzer and the movie “Varsity Blues”.

Columbia Police Department spokesman Brick Lewis says Young was charged with fighting and resisting arrest. WLTX.com earlier got information from police that he was charged with disorderly conduct, but police now say that he does not face that charge.

Young was field-booked at the scene and not taken to jail, according to Lewis.

Instead of going through the normal process of the “USC Perp Walk”, this new style of discipline eliminates that and sends the USC football on their merry way home. No time in a cell, no finger printing and best of all unlike the pervious two players that were involved in a fight this one didn’t get stabbed.

The best part of this latest discipline method is the player will likely avoid being punished by the university.

Athletic department spokesman Steve Fink says Young’s status with the team has not been determined. School policy is an automatic suspension for an athlete who has been arrested, but Young was not taken in.

That’s right. Even though he was charged and technically arrested and booked, under this new discipline policy Young was never taken to the Po Po palace known as the Richland County Detention Center. That means Spurrier has found a way to have the school itself look the other way.

So to all you other SEC coaches who believe their discipline method is the weakest think again. The hammer has been thrown by Spurrier. Young will most likely be rewarded, after all Spurrier wishes some more of his players had some fight in them.

Michael Vick Supports Illegal Immigration

Michael Vick, the anti-hero for old and young alike, apparently doesn’t like prison as much as some thought. According to MediaTakeOut.com they spoke with a friend who has a friend, who is the mechanic of some dude that is the garbage man whose relative is currently incarcerated with Mike Vick in Leavenworth Federal Penitentiary – in the same cell block.

And that person claims:

“Michael Vick is not in [administrative segregation] – he’s right there with the rest of the inmates. A few [inmates] stepped to him when he first got there but everything is cool now … My [family member] says that he’s paying a Mexican gang to keep him safe.”

OK I admit I was wrong because I figured the Mexican Mafia would be pissed about him adopting their heritage, sue me. (Except for LawVol cause he would win) One thing is certain Vick getting better protection now than when he played for the Falcons.

With any luck we’ll see Clemens join him soon and at the rate the arrests are piling up in Knoxville…”The Longest Yard 2: Reality is a MoFo Bitch” will be coming soon to DVD everywhere.

Another One O.J. “Didn’t Do” Except No Trial This Time

O.J. Simpson’s victim skank girlfriend, Christie Prody has been hospitalized with what police called “a severe head injury.” Not to mention one has to be a head case to date that freak.

Miami police state Prody suffered bruises and head injuries on Monday — but it was because of a fall — and not at the hand of the Juice. Her injuries are “consistent” with a fall she took at a gas station, that they don’t consider this a criminal case, and that O.J. was never a suspect.

Just what the hell kind of fall can someone take and a freaking gas station anyway? For the complete run down on Prody click here.

Police were told by a witness, according to the report, that Prody had been “intoxicated and always falling down” during a visit to San Antonio from February 1 to February 10. Falling down…pushed down…WTF ever.

YMSWWC’s “Official” NFL Draft Preview Picks 1-5

Well I am a little bit depressed because the TV will be polluted with coverage of Roger Clemens v. Brian MacNamee. How many times can one hear a variation of “It Wasn’t Me???” Examples: “I didn’t use steroids. Period.” “I did not have sexual relations with woman, Ms. Lewinsky.” “I didn’t kill my wife and her friend.” “I didn’t try to make it rain in the strip club.” “I am not a crook.” So with that said, let us instead focus on the future, where we can hope that this top rated prospect becomes either the next Dan Fouts or the next Tony Mandarich. This year, I think we might have both. Here are the official (unless Thomas says different) YMSWWC NFL Mock Draft Picks (1-5)

Miami Dolphins: These heartbreakers have the distinct pleasure of picking first. Yes the needs are many. There is not a position on the field that they do not need any immediate help. Outside of Jason Taylor, you can pretty much trash the roster. In comes Bill Parcells. He will bring organization to a franchise that still is trying to recover from “Saban Nation”. I have heard that a certain billionaire wildcatter who is an Arkansas alum may be trying to trade up with a certain coach turned GM that used to sign that GM’s checks, and that would make sense. Dolphins could use 2 first round picks, but I don’t see that happening. With that said, they will take long hard look at Glenn Dorsey, Jake Long, and Chris Long. So the pick will be: Glenn Dorsey, DT, LSU.

St. Louis Rams-Yet another team that went through a hard season. These aren’t your 1999-2002 Rams anymore. They are more like the 1989-1998 Rams. Age, injuries, bad free agent signings have turned these rams into sheep (Quick Longhorn/Aggie joke: How do you know when you are getting close to AggieLand? When you start seeing the sheep back up to the fence). Defense is more of a need than offense at this point. Pick: Chris Long, DE, Virginia.

Atlanta Falcons-Wow. Holy weed smoking, dog fighting, carpet bagging, GM and Coach rejection Batman. What in the world is going on in the ATL??? Well this is actually an easy pick, just because they have one big black hole where the QB spot is (not the black hole that is being pounded in Leavenworth). I think this will be a bad pick, but somebody’s gotta overpay for an All-American QB, so it might as well be Arthur Blank. Pick: Matt Ryan (Leaf), QB, Boston College

Kansas City Chiefs-Offensive Line, Offensive Line, Offensive Line. Yes, they need a QB and another WR, but what good is all of that if you have a revolving door for an offensive line??? It’s hard to think that the O-Line was just a few years ago spectacular. Even though I love Ryan Clady from Boise St., that makes too much sense, and the overlord team President known as Carl Petersen doesn’t make decisions that make sense. So: Jake Long, OT, Michigan

Oakland Raiders-These are some of the most dedicated fans that I have seen, and yet, some of the scariest. I had a couple of friends that went to Whatevertheycallit Coliseum to see Oakland and the Titans play. They figured a nice trip to the Bay Area would be great. Let’s just say that it wasn’t a good trip. One word of advice: If making the trip to see a Raiders game, do NOT wear the other team’s colors unless your name is Kimbo Slice or you love the aroma of beer, weed, and middle aged biker chicks. Of course, this is Uncle Al’s team, and he LOVES offense. Guess who this pick will be??? Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas

Picks 6-10 will be coming soon…

West Virginia Is Trying To Imitate An SEC School…HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Ah yes West By God Virginia. Apparently, if making the news for fake degrees, suing former football coaches, and, well, being West Virginia was not enough, now the football players are trying to imitate an SEC team. Which SEC team??? I will get to that in a minute…

New Mountaineer coach Bill Stewart has recently announced that LB John Holmes (insert porn joke here), DL James Ingram (no relation to soul singer of the same name), and RB Ed Collington (I got nothing here) are no longer on the team. They will be able to retain their scholarships through the end of the spring semester. These 3 geniuses were pulled over for speeding. When the police opened the car, they detected the smell of the “stickiest of the icky” commonly called in Gainesville Gunja-Aid or in Knoxville known as a Recruiting Tool (which obviously didn’t work due to the crappy signing class). Upon searching the vehicle, baggies of the “green stuff” were found both in the car and in Ingram’s shoe. Wait, it gets better: Ingram told the cops that more weed was located in their apartment. Try not to shake your head so hard.

So of course, thanks to a helpful hint from Deputy Barney Fife, the cops search the apartment and found a lot more drugs and bags. Now, because McGruff the Crime ‘Eer told the cops about the extra weed and baggies, they are facing several more felony charges than they would have been if he had just kept his mouth shut. Either he had a moment of clarity because he knew he was doing wrong, or that weed was so good that he just had to tell the cops in hopes they would buy some. Of course, I wonder where that weed will end up once the trial is over with. Someone should have told these 3 that couches are the thing to burn in Morgantown, not blunts…

Now I know which SEC team that WVU reminds me of, and honestly it only took a few seconds of reflection because well, this is West Virginia we are talking about. The school is Thomas’ favorite whipping boy, the University of South Carolina. Let’s examine a little further. Both the Mountaineers and the Gamecocks have losing all-time bowl records, neither school has won a national championship in football but their in-state rivals (Marshall and Clemson) both have national titles, both fanbases have an over inflated sense of entitlement, and both have had players that have done some of the most head scratching things to get in trouble with the cops that you can think of.

So there you have it. The Mountaineers and the Gamecocks are now 2 kindred spirits. West Virginia can say with pride that even though their athletics department is slightly more organized than Iraq circa 2003, they can say with pride that they are almost at an SEC level. Nothing will stop the ‘Eer and ‘Cock Connection from years of mediocrity and no glory to speak of. Long live ‘Eer and ‘Cock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For The Thug Who Has Everything

Now this is a present. This game is basically a Monopoly, but instead of “Go To Jail”, you try to break out of jail and/or get parole. This is a description of the game from the official website:

Fight your way through 6 different exciting locations in hopes of being granted parole. Escape prison riots in The Yard, slip glass into a mob boss’ lasagna in the Cafeteria, steal painkillers from the nurse’s desk in the Infirmary, avoid being cornered by the Aryans in the Shower Room, fight off Latin Kings in Gang War, and try not to smoke your entire stash in The Hole.

The artistry of each handcrafted piece is matched with comparable humor & intelligence on every card. Stack your smokes, sharpen your shank, and get ready for an experience that only someone on the outside could appreciate.

Wow. What more can be said. Check out the game pieces. Who among us played Monopoly as a kid and thought “Wouldn’t it be cool if instead of a thimble I could use a Glock as my game piece???”

What’s the sports connection??? Well let’s see: The founder of the company and game is John Sebelius, son of Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius. Kansas is where America’s “favorite” marijuana smuggling (and smoking), lawsuit avoiding, Valtrex popping, inaccurate throwing, dog killing QB Michael Vick is currently doing his time. But let’s think of the endless possibilities..

How about a “Playmakers” Edition featuring O.J., his white Bronco, memorabilia, copy of “If I Did It”, and a Naked Gun DVD for playing pieces???

Or a “Ballers” Edition, with Kobe attached to a blonde female hotel clerk, Roy Tarpley, transcripts of Tim Donaghy’s gambling probe, Jack Sikma’s perm, and WNBA TV Ratings???

Lastly, what about a “Juiced” version, with Jose Canseco, Barry Bonds, Marion Jones, a syringe, and a torn record book???

If they market this game right, it could be a gold mine. Of course, someone needs to mail some of these games to all SEC schools, so they can play as part of the “Super Secret Double Probation”…

A Message To The Law Enforcement in Knoxville

To: Chief Sterling Owen, IV, Chief of Police for Knoxville Police Department & Chief August Washington, Chief of UTPD

CC: Bill Haslam, Mayor of Knoxville, Coach Phillip Fulmer, Head Honcho, All Things Volunteer Football

From: Joel, Contributing Blogger for https://ymswwc.wordpress.com and Volunteer

Dear Sirs,

I would like to first take the opportunity to thank you kind men for reading this letter. I know that you are busy trying to keep the streets of Knoxville safe, the campus of the University of Tennessee secure, and the whole state proud of its team, the Volunteers. However, as a concerned fan, both of the school, the SEC Conference, and College Football in particular, I am a little bit concerned over what has happened thus far over the past few months concerning the Volunteer football program and police run ins. These concerns have led me to question myself and ask: What can I do as a fan and native Tennessean to help out, in true Volunteer fashion??? So far, this letter that I am typing with great conviction has been my call to arms.

Listen men, we simply cannot allow your fine officers to harass our football players. They have enough to deal with, such as studying, hanging with some friends, playing football, and representing Volunteers worldwide. These fine young men are doing what it takes to “Work Like Heck” and make us all proud. So what if they decide to have a drink to relax. Is it too much trouble to ask that they stumble around in public in peace??? That fight that went on at Gibbs Hall??? What you would call a fight is what a real officer would call a UFC amateur competition. Now, because of you, Coach Fulmer has to take time away from his 6 a.m. Krispy Kreme run just so that the team can engage in some early morning calisthenics months ahead of schedule in preparation for the upcoming difficult season. I don’t see Jim Tressel getting his whole entire team up to run their 6.8 second 40’s (because they are so fast at Ohio State). We all know how irritable Coach Fulmer and Coach Chavis can get when they don’t have their 8 dozen doughnuts and 3 gallon carafes of coffee before they eat breakfast…

As for the alleged marijuana incident with Gerald Jones, Ahmad Paige, and William Brimfield, they were victims of one big understanding. A real police officer would have concluded that the marijuana smell in the car was actually a new type of GHB scented car fragrance. The “marijuana cigarette”??? Mr. Paige simply had his car detailed at the car wash where they sprayed his car with the “Chronic Fresh” scent, and one of the workers there must have had the cigarette slip out of his pocket. See??? Charge a real criminal, not these boys. Now they have to go on police ride alongs as punishment; at the very least, let them watch Season 1 of Reno: 911. I mean, having to suffer through the antics of Officers Jones and Garcia is punishment enough, much less Clementine, Weigel, Junior, and Lt. Dangle. More importantly, we lost two recruits to Oklahoma, which has a history of allowing players to roam free…

Josh “McLovin” McNeil should have been given a handshake and a pat on the back, not a ticket and a court summons. He graciously hosted 3 ladies in his room of his apartment and was bothering no one. The cat was the one that knocked the flower pot through the window. Let’s think about it: realistically, the chances of getting 2 women in the bed with the average guy is slim to none, McNeil got 3. I personally will shake his hand, no, I will HUG him if I ever meet him, as he “Volunteered” to host 3 women at once. God bless him…

In closing, boys will be boys. Who among us did not have a drink or 10 when we were 18??? Marijuana you say??? In The Netherlands, they would call that “Herbal Refreshment”. Guns??? I always thought the Constitution guaranteed us the right to bear arms??? Listen, we need to get together as a community and realize what our priorities are, which should be Volunteer Athletics. Think of a world with 1 and 2 star recruits on the field on Saturdays. People will be blaming Fulmer for poor recruiting, but if you keep harassing the players, the blame will be on you, because the real stars will be too busy with court dates and probation.

Thank you for your time and GO BIG ORANGE!!!

Cedrick Wilson Likes His Women Crazy

Ok maybe not this crazy…then again…..

Pittsburgh Steelers and former University of Tennessee wide receiver Cedrick Wilson like his women on the crazy side. No, not the schizophrenic Herschel Walker type of crazy but another like of crazy all together. Cedrick likes his women in the 12 stand off with the Po Po crazy. Story.

Apparently sometime Saturday morning Wilson and his girlfriend, Lindsey Paulat got in to a lovers quarrel. Around noon Wilson left the whole situation and her mother decided to talk to her hoping (I’m sure) to make things better. That’s when things got a little crazy.

While there with her mommy, Paulat took one of Wilson’s handguns and shot two holes in Wilson’s walls. The mother realizing what a psychotic bitch she raised decided it was time to leave and promptly called the Po Po.

What could have Wilson done to make his girlfriend act in such a manner? The Po Po arrive and after making contact with her and seeing just how crazy she is, they thought it would be best to evacuate some 70 neighbors. Damn!! She must have found Wilson’s “University of South Carolina” model handgun & his “University of Florida” model AK-47 for them to take that type of measure.

While no details as what (if anything) Wilson might have done to make his girlfriend act so irrational, has been released, I have my own theories about that.

Theory #1

Wilson was truthful to her. See the below example.

G/F Does this make me look fat?

C/W No honey, it makes you look fatter than normal.

Theory #2

Wilson comes to terms with the progress of the relationship. See the below example.

G/F When are we getting married.

C/W A half past never.

G/F Motherfucker! You TOLD me we were getting married after the season! I’ll cut your balls off.

C/W Shit got to run; I’m calling your mom for protection.

So let this be a lesson to all males out there. It’s ok to tell them white lies. It’s ok to ask for help when dealing with crazy females. And NEVER, NEVER piss off your girlfriend with a loaded firearm in immediate vicinity. However when and if she’s released I bet the make sex will be great.

Nothing like jealous women you’ve got to love them….well until they take your gun and shoot up your house. Even then he got off lighter than Andre Rison did.

Rachelle Washington Is Clearly A Dolphins Fan

I’m sure everyone knows about the temporary restraining order was issued Monday against Randy Moss. The (alleged) victim is Rachelle Washington who claims Moss committed “battery causing serious injury” to her at her Florida home on Jan. 6, as well as refused to allow her to seek medical treatment. Moss claims they have been friends for 11 years and that she asked for “six figures” for what he said was an accident in which she was hurt.

Moss has been quick to deny the allegations and the New England Patriots have been quick to defend Moss. Granted I’ll give Moss credit, he’s a great athlete and he’s kept his nose clean this season both on and off the field. Here’s what Moss said of the situation.

“I want to make something clear, in my whole entire life of living 30 years, I’ve never put my hand on one woman, physically or in an angry manner.”

“This is a negative,” he said of the latest allegation, “a black cloud hanging over my head, and that’s something that I did not want coming into the season. … Everything I tried to do from getting here early, to make sure I eat the right food, all the way to practicing and playing, I wanted all of that to be A-plus.

“Everything’s been positive, so why would I bring something negative on. As much as I care and love the game of football and love my teammates, I would never put myself or them in a situation of something like this.”

Just one problem with those statements, he bumped a female traffic control officer with his car in 2002. Technically that isn’t laying a hand on a woman, instead he used his Lexus.

Let’s not forget Moss’s other past “mistakes”.

With the Vikings, he was criticized by quarterback Daunte Culpepper and others for leaving the field with 2 seconds left in a regular-season loss to Washington.

He verbally abused corporate sponsors on a team bus in 2001 and squirted an official with a water bottle in 1999. And who can for the infamous “mooning” incident.

So it’s clear that in the past Moss has placed himself in situation that hurt his teammates.

Yesterday the (alleged) victim Rachelle Washington spoke out and basically said “Yo, don’t be disrespecting Rachelle Washington!”

A statement from her attorney, David McGill, says “she refuses to be further disrespected by him.”

“Ms. Washington has been unfairly characterized as someone simply seeking financial gain. In fact, it was Mr. Moss’ representatives who first contacted our office to offer a ‘six figure’ settlement with hopes of not having this incident become public record,” the statement reads.

“It has never been her intention to hurt Mr. Moss in any way. However, she has suffered mental and physical harm as a result of his actions. She simply wants him to take responsibility for what he has done. As a battery victim, she has shown great strength throughout this entire ordeal,” the statement reads.

“We have heard Mr. Moss’ statement regarding the incident. He has acknowledged that he was at Ms. Washington‘s Florida residence and that he was ‘guilty’ of an ‘accident’ which occurred.

“However, Mr. Moss fails to mention how his reckless and degrading conduct rendered Ms. Washington unable to drive her vehicle to seek medical attention. As the evidence will show, there is serious doubt that Mr. Moss is capable of recalling with clarity the exact details of what transpired that evening. As Mr. Moss has previously stated, “Do your homework and check his resume,” the statement reads.

A hearing to on whether to issue a permanent restraining order is set for Jan. 28, just six days before the super bowl. Notice no criminal charges have been filed. I find that very important. It’s obvious to me that alleged victim is a disgruntled Dolphins fan (can you blame them look at their season) and this was probably concocted by Don Shula.

I’m not sure who to believe at this point. I just hope it’s on Court TV, but I’m willing to bet former Dolphin players will be in attendance.